trib767

I have to share this with you.

I was coming back from work this evening. I had just got off the train and was walking back to my car. It's about a 5 minute walk along a busy main road so there were plenty of people around (not loads, but enough).

Just before the car park there's a bus stop and there were a few people waiting. Next to the bus stop is a grass verge about 10 feet wide and then the car park.

Now, there's this guy. In his 30's I'd say. He is crouching on the grass in a position which just happens to be in my line of sight. I notice that he seems to have no trousers on. I double-take like one does in these situations and realise he has but they are round his ankles. I'm just averting my gaze as this is already too gross for words when an almighty eruption of piss and shit occurs.

I continue to my car and my back is to this person. When I turn around he is gone. In broad daylight this guy had just taken a dump in full view of everyone: pedestrians, motorists slowing for the traffic lights, the bus queue, ME.

This absolutely grossed me out and I hope to never see such a sight again.

I'm laughing about it now however. Sad bastard.

BigBen

"When you gotta go, you gotta go." That is funnier than, oh I don't know. Funnier than shit?

I would have loved to see him reading the newspaper while he was crouched.

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la petite moi

Yeah, when I was in Paris, I saw a little girl squat down (with her mother holding her hand) and take a pee. Later, I saw an old woman/man (?) take a dump.

Pretty gross.

RubenBaraja

I wont even go in a public toilet never mind just in public, surely an arrestable offence?

f6twister

Tough to say what happened there. Was this some guy from another country who doesn't realize that the behavior is inappropriate or just someone who couldn't find a bathroom and did what was necessary? Neither explaination justifies the action. I do know one thing, I'm glad that wasn't me walking by.

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Supple Cow

That's foul. And unsanitary. At least piss dries. I don't think I'm going to be lying in the grass at the park anytime soon.

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irseg

One time I really had to take a crap, and had no choice but to go in a nasty K-Mart bathroom with one broken sink. A friend of mine was making fun of me over my mad dash through the store and subsequent lack of ability to wash my hands. I got the last laugh though, when a few hours later we were at a junkyard and the urge struck him. He ended up ducking behind a Ford Taurus and squatting over a wheel.

Anyone who can't comprehend having to take a dump under less than ideal conditions has never been through a night of heavy drinking.

dX927

I was hanging out at a friend's house and had a slice of pizza. I have a hard time going to the bathroom when I'm not in my own house and felt the urge so I said I was gonna go home since it was late anyway. Well I couldn't make it and had to pull over to the side of the road and hid behind my car and waited til the coast was perfectly clear. One of the more embarassing things I've had to do and there I went and shared it with everyone lol.

buclao

I was going fishing with my brother once and on the drive to the river the feeling overcame me. We finally get to the river, but we gotta walk about 10 minutes so I decide to shit behind some brush. The most horrifying part of that was that while my left side was being obscured by brush, my other side was in broad daylight and right beside traintracks. Oh and don't get me started on the feeling of wiping with leaves and twigs.

G5_Todd

ya its lewd behavior.....evening urinating in public is arrestable....

but taking a crap in broad daylight in a busy area is definately lewd...thats the difference between leaving the bar at 2am and getting caught by police in the alley taking a wiz in the dark....that you would get a ticket for...but crapping in the day time is not a ticket

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SecretMethod70

Having to urinate isn't that big a deal really, but defecating is an entirely different matter. Especially considering the serious need for wiping.

One time, I think when I was in Jr High, I was riding along a nearby bike path in a preserve area near home with a friend and his dad. Amid the very high grasses, etc, I saw an unmanned bike and thought that someone had left it there to get rid of it. Hey, people are lazy like that. We stopped, and I headed toward the bike to claim the presumed broken item, only to see, as I got closer, a person squatting down and defecating (thankfully, I didn't actually SEE the defecating, but it was clearly what was occuring). I quickly turned around and rode away.

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la petite moi

I have a couple embarassing moments while pooping. When I was in Belarus (small country next to Russia), we went on a picnic to a lake. When I needed to use the restroom, a couple of the family members I was staying with led me to a room, where there were three holes in the pavement and no toilet paper. They left me there, after joking that they hope I brought some paper.

Even weirder was in France, which is not really considered a third world country- on three occasions (Paris and countryside just outside of Paris), I found myself squatting over a hole in a public restroom where they SOLD sheets of toilet paper, or in a nasty open area with NO toilet paper. First time was in, believe it or not, a McDonalds, where there were stalls that only went up to your waist like a barndoor for all to see, and had a toilet built into the floor. The second time was in a claustrophobic cafe restroom. And the third time was at a tourist attraction. Oh the horror.

Cynthetiq

the horror is when you are drunk and trying to squat only slipping on the slippery tile and sliding into the hole.

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OFKU0

Saw a bum in Boston pinching a loaf in the park directly across from the bar Cheers. I was on my way to lunch. Interestingly, I was the one of hundreds who actually noticed. Figure that.

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Lockjaw

This thread has me in stitches.

The worst public occurances I have witnessed was an old woman at a mall in Louisiana wetting herself(which was sad) and that's about it.

I've had the few times where I've let fly out in public when I really had to whiz and I ducked behind a tree or found a really secluded place in a parking deck(I was NOT going to make it the 30 yards into the building without pissing myself)but to have to crap so bad that you have to poop outside in the city...that is horrible.

Blackthorn

I'm currently in Mumbai India on a work assignment and in the past five days I've seen this and other things too many times to count on two hands. There are some 16,000,000 people living in Mumbai and a large number of them live on the streets. Those that don't live on the streets have extremely poor living conditions. One of the saddest things so far was a small child about the age of five that did the duece drop right in the middle of a busy section of the city called the "Queen's Necklace". Right there ... full view ... and it was just looked past by everyone there.

There really is no place like home boys and girls...

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raeanna74

Outdoors yes - in public no.

It's difficult enough for a girl to pee outdoors. When she's in a large hunting party and there's no hunting shack or anything nearby - find the nearest hill and hide around it. I found that uncomfortable enough with the group of guys just over the hill and I could still hear them talking. Plus - it was obvious what I went off to do so they knew exactly what was happening over the hill. I can't imagine doing it in public.

What was the guy dressed like? Just curious. Was he a drifter maybe with no home and dirty enough that some places wouldn't have let him in? That's the only situation that I could imagine - even then why not find an alley?

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little_tippler

wasn't there a thread recently about having to go to the loo in a hurry and not making it in time?

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Cannot be transfused into word or book.
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Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
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Unto our very selves we are abridged
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Glory's Sun

if you thought that was gross, I hope you never pick up any of the CKY vids. There's some pretty sick shit on there.

Thankfully, I've never witnessed anyone taking a dump in public. Ermm, wait nevermind. A co-worker where I used to work took a dump on the manager's car hood after he was fired. Oddly enough he was the same guy who took a dump in the cup of the 18th hole at a local golf course. I feel sorry for the first person who played that hole.

Janey

here's my experiences with the 'deuce drop' (god i love that term Balckthorn!):

- when I was 8 our family drove to Montreal to visit family friends, and we had a tent-trailor set up in their backyard. Well everybody went out except me and my girlfriend, we were left to play in the backyard. well, I had to go poo badly, but the house was locked up, and the tent trailor had no washroom. AFter waiting and almost killing myself with pain, I crouched under the extensions of the trailor and dumped on the grass. It was vile. and embarrasing.I had to pick it up and put it in the garbage can.

- while in university, i was in the marching band, and we made rather drunken road trips from Kingston to Montreal and ottawa every weekend that there was an away game for football. On the way to ottawa (on friday night) the bus pulled over for a pee break. All the guys piled out and hung themselves out at the shoulder of the h highway to pee. somebody took a picture. It was hilarious, after it was developed we saw in the drunken line up of whizzing wangs, one of the girls crouched down over the grass peeing out too.

-- After my second year of university, I went on an exchange programme to Sri Lanka for a year. While there I encountered the infamous 'eastern toilettes' the ones where you crouch down over a light-bulb shaped hole in the floor, with your feet on two rubber foot pad, and the bowl being procelaine with a flush attachment in private homes, or hotels, but just a concrete hole in the floor (ala outhouse) in public places. I saw so many filthy public toilettes at bus stations, that Inever went near them because of the flies. it is obvious that people either didn't care, or were bad aims because often there were piles of poo whereever yoru feet had to go.

also, I noticed (and witnessed) that the fishermen who live along the beaches, just poo on the sand. I learned to walk along the waterline, so as not to step in human (and dog) poo.

crapshoot

There is a new show on FOX called Nanny 911. The only part of an episode that I caught was about this mom who allowed her 3 year old son to relieve himself outside! In fact the kid would only do the deed outside. There is something wrong with parents these days if you are letting your kid walk around outside of your house peeing. WTF!

animosity

I am trying so hard not to burst out in laughter right now(I am in the library) The girl sitting next to be keeps giving me this look.

all of this reminds me of a few weeks ago when I was washing my mothers vehicle. I was entertaining my little sister(age 4) and trying to get the car clean at the same time. I took my eyes off of the child for a few minutes. When she returned from where ever she was playing, she said, "I peed." I replied, "you peed your pants?" She said, "no... I peed in the driveway." Sure enough. I saw a nice little wet spot. Children are so funny.

StephenSa

Saw a similiar thing when I was in Paris. Homeless guy just crouched and went on the bench part of a fountain. Its a mad world.

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Mojo_PeiPei

You mean taking 17 exlax pills and jogging/pooping while wearing a jock strap, that was pretty awful.

I got a pretty bad one. I went on a class trip to DC back in 8th grade. We were doing a night time walk from the FDR memorial to the Jefferson memorial. Well the thing was the food we were eating was crap, not digesting well. So we are in route from FDR memorial to Jefferson's, which if I remember is over half a mile, and I get the most wicked urge to duece. I end up sprinting the whole thing, eventually I get to the monument but for the life of me I can't find the bathroom (turns out it's in the basement of the monument). So next thing I know is I'm outside of the Jefferson monument squatting under a pine tree next to some shrubs under cover of nightfall. Well at this point my class just happens to get there, I manage to play it off like I was pissing, but lord that did not help my situation any, if anything my pissing made it worse. I somehow made it through another 5 minutes of torture and found the basement and the toilet. When I was done destroying the toilet, I came and found my friends. They were all in a circle and one of them was talking about how he just witnessed the most god awful smells and sounds ever in a bathroom, we all had a good laugh when I told them it was me.

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Journeyman

There use to be a concrete ashtray just outside my dorm that my friend kept asking me to shit in, just for the pure humour of people seeing a log in there and coming to the conclusion that somebody shit outside. He got obsessed enough with the idea that he stopped waiting for me and tried to drop one on his own in front of about 4 or 5 of us, but only managed an open-air fart.
Just as well, it woulda been a buncha wet juice. No logs to speak of when he did shit.

asudevil83

just thinking about his reasoning for it makes me laugh.

"you're fired"
"well fuck you, i'm going to shit on your car."

Coppertop

Oh man, this thread gave me some laughs.

I've said "pinching a loaf" many times in my life, but for some reason seeing it in print just started me laughing for a good bit.

Thanks everyone.

TexanAvenger

I was going to comment on the topic at hand... but this caught me off guard...

trib767

Good question, although you could imagine with the shock of the situation checking his clobber out was not at the top of the agenda. The rolled down trousers at his ankles were jeans or some denim deriavative and he had some kind of sweat-top with a hood. Typical streety type of "pikey" person in my opinion - you're right, some kind of drop-out or drunkard. No sane person would do that for sure. Maybe he was an illegal immigrant bringing his foul ways with him. We should round them up and send them home

ratbastid

Was his name Dennis? If so, he's 37, he's not old.

/couldn't resist

Never dumped in public. Hope like hell never to.

pattycakes

i go salamon fishing up in pulaski ny and atleast once ayear i find myself wandering away from everyone to drop a duce... its not planned but when you are used to gooin at 9 and youa re getting up and fishing at 5-6-7 youc ant go before u leave

ahhh the humanity

one thing my family always stressed was take some paper towels or napkins with you. lol

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G5_Todd

i took a dump in the ocean once.....while people were 15 feet from me......i didnt realize it would float......and it seemed like i hadda swim 100 feet to finnally get away from it.....

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"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks

miguelmv

Im not against people taking a crap anywhere (I mean, it is part of our system not only to get the food but also taking the garbage) however, it is recommended to try to find a place before going on the decision on going public.
Now, one thing is a dude crapping on the street in broad daylight or a dude just going into a joint because it was the closest bathroom he could find, and other different is, how messy you could get in both situations if you are not careful. It happened to a guy at the airport once. I was walking around doing some time till my plane took off. I decided to go to the washroom when a horrible sight struck me: i opened the door and there was this guy standing by the sink that by some reason wasnt able to "sit" on time and shit all over his pants, like he got some sort of BAD diarrhea. All his pants and his legs was shit (literally). It was gross but after I walked away i felt bad for the guy because he was a foreigner (he was a gringo in Lima airport) and maybe he was alone.
That is all.

Mig

Random Hero

I feel sorry for the guy who had to pick it up, he probably thought there was a huge mutant dog on the loose.

MSD

I one had to piss while in a public park. The only tree large enough to provide cover was near the road that goes through the park. As I was pissing, a cop started driving down the road. I started sidestepping aroudn the tree, keeping it between me and the cop car. The guys I was playing football with thought it was hilarious.

Zeraph

Could have been a European. They have different views on bathroom etiquette or lack there of. Sometimes youll see them cleaning themselves from drinking fountains at disney land or peeing in bottles. Then again, Ive never heard of one doing the above story before. Probably homeless or crazy or both.

Squishor

When I lived in Japan one thing I noticed was that in the bathroom humor comics the turds were always these spiral-shaped piles. A little different but nothing really worth dwelling on, until one day me and my family were hiking in the woods. We came around a bend in the trail and there was this perfect spiral-shaped pile of shit, like one long extrusion of the stuff coiled upon itself, right smack dab in the middle of the trail. We all stood around and marveled at it, commenting on the fact that it was in the middle of the trail rather than off to the side, and how perfectly shaped it was. It was almost certainly human, we decided. Then I said it was funny, my shit never looked like that but this pile looked just like the Japanese cartoons. We all started laughing because we realized it was true, and then we all stood around the pile of shit and started speculating as to how one would actually produce such a pile - do you aim your butt and swivel it around in a circle? A great time was had by all.

moot1337

... you just made me burst out laughing, and now everyone's looking at me funny and wondering what the big deal was. The image of a log floating up from the depths and chasing someone as they swam away from it was too funny not to warrant at least a chuckle

Gatorade Frost

This is slightly off topic but I thought of it when you started this and I saw it, does anyone have a link or an image of those bathrooms in Europe that are just like glass/mirror stalls that you can sit down on and see out but no one can see in because it's a mirror?

TheFrogel

Wow, gotta add my own "taking a dump outside" story:

Well, in high school I was on the track team, and we were doing a long distance run, and those often go through the woods and all over the place. Well halfway through a 1 1/2 hr run I just have to go. The guys are like "just do it out here" and after contemplation and some laughter, I found a nice tree to be behind and they did an extra loop to meet back up with me.

In closing, wiping with leaves is uncomfortable.