irateplatypus

i walk into the barbershop this afternoon, pull a number tab, and pick up a copy of TIME magazine to flip through. it wasn't long till a middle-aged philippino lady calls my number, i go sit in the chair.

she begins to cut my hair, eschewing (for the moment) the obligatory introductory small talk. near the end of the cut she pipes up with "do you has animals?" not being quite sure where this is headed i say "pets? no, i don't have any pets."

*silence

her: "i have cat"
me: "oh yeah?"

(we proceed to have a brief conservation about her cat, followed by more silence).

her: "my cat, he have fleas"
me: "is that so?"

*silence

her: "the fleas, they all over me."

*my eyebrows rise involuntarily
(at this point i'm unsure if something got lost in translation)

me: "hmm... you're saying your cat gave you fleas?"

her: "yes"
(apparently very little was lost in translation)

*i nod my head slowly, trying to fully comprehend what has been said.
(i kid you not, she starts to make a scratching gesture to furthur drive home the point.)

with all doubt removed, your humble narrator was sitting in a barber's chair with this poor woman lamenting her flea problem. awkward. at this point i wasn't sure if she was probing for advice, or just making casual conversation. i can assure you that there is no worse context to have this discussion with someone. they are very close to your person with their hands all over your head. you're never sure if that itch on the back of your neck is just newly shorn hair or a migratory flea.

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If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill

Irishsean

Aaaaah! Nasty! I'd be pissed, demand to talk to the manager, owner, call the BBB, theres gotta be some kinda regulatory board! Thats just plain sick!

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There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances.
Leon Trotsky

F-18_Driver

Fleas are bad, but if I were you, I REALLY would decline having her shave your neck with a straight razor.

Hepatitis and all that.

Willravel

*clears throat* lawsuit *clears throat*
Perhaps it is time to find a different barber. I am offput by a bad trim, but fleas?! Christ, I would have walked to the nearest drug store and gotten some flea treatments for prevention. I would have walked back in and handed her some and walked out. That's amazingly bad. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a bathroom attendant at a nice resturant downtown about the handwashing habits of the cooks. Some people suck.

Stick

At least she didn't admit to having head lice.

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ominous adj.
Menacing; threatening. Of or being an omen, especially an evil one.

k925

I can see it now...
"Barbershop Confessions" on HBO

But really, you have a few options here:

If she did a good job, and you like the barber shop, buy the "RID" (or whatever product you can find that kills fleas) for her and subtly drop it by asap. If I know anything about women, and I do, she'll likely be touched and pleasantly surprised that you were so considerate, and maybe she'll give you those good haircuts for the rest of your days (plus, you'll feel fantastically well after doing a good deed for someone in need). Think of the flea killer as an investment in good haircuts for your future.

If the haircut wasn't all that great, but you still like the barbershop, I'd consider talking to her manager to get your money back, and maybe even with the intent of getting her out of there (of course, nobody likes getting fired, so you'll have that to think about).

Lastly, if the cut wasn't all that close to spectacular, and that particular barbershop isn't your favorite, go get your money back, get her fired, and burn the place down (well, don't really burn it down, just erase its location from your mind so you'll never go back).

Whatever you do, though- and I'm not assuming anything here- don't just sit around and discuss it on the TFP and go back expecting her to have read your mind and exterminated the fleas. Discuss it on the TFP, and actually do something about it.

...in my best Mrs. Lovejoy voice-
Won't somebody please think of the kitties!??

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I can has furburger?

fulltiltgonzo

I freind of mine in the service went to the base barbershop and got a "high and tight". A couple of weeks later he lost a small, dime-sized patch of hair near the back of his neck. It began to spread and when I last saw him, it was bigger than a silver dollar and growing! I never kept in touch with him, but I often wonder if it spread until all his hair was gone.

You never know what you might catch at a barbershop...

__________________
I venture to suggest that patriotism is not a short and frenzied outburst of emotion but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.
- Adlai Stevenson

Lin

and you didnt complain?

you're very tolerant.lol

MSD

No, just burn it down before more people get fleas.

Bill O'Rights

Welcome to the base barber shop, Lieutenant. You didn't think that we wore our hair so short 'cause it's so stylish, did ya? There's a reason for most of these things. You just stumbled onto one of 'em.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

NCB

Nasty!!!

A word of advice.

Find yourself a gay man as a long term hair stylist. You'll get a great cut, easy small talk, and no fleas. When you hop around from hair stylist to hair stylist, you're just rolling the dice. This time it was fleas, next time it could be some chick who just found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and you have the same hair type as he does. After years of going through that shit, I've been with mine for almost seven years and couldn't be happier

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ratbastid

You have a knack for understatement, my friend!

Keep on scratchin'!

Supple Cow

You know, if it makes you feel any better, if you haven't had any bites yet, she probably didn't give you any fleas to take home with you. Furthermore, I suspect (since her English as you conveyed it was not great) that she meant that she has flea *bites* all over her. At the risk of grossing everybody out even more, I will tell you why I think this is the case. At my mother's house, there are 2 cats. They are outdoor/indoor cats, and in the summertime, no matter how many flea dips we give them or how often we replace their flea collars, they always manage to carry a handful of fleas on them. In all my summers living at that house, I have failed to go flea-bite free. At the same time, I have never carried a flea with me outside of my house and given it to someone else. Lacking body-covering fur, humans are not the most ideal place for a flea to hang out... and when they do attempt it, you can usually feel them (and then catch and kill them) before long (not to mention the flea-repellant effects of showering).

Since I come from a filipino family, this kind of conversation sounds only too familiar. Talking about your flea bites and how itchy you are is in the same vein of "my dog's picked up the habit of digging up my garden - I love the pup, but it's getting to be such a pain." Let's just hope the lady's conversation topics become more appropriate as her English improves.

__________________
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

xepherys

So... how do you normally get your hair cut? If you don't need stylized specialty trims, I'd suggest finding a nice barber shop run by an ex-military person. Being in the army myself, I get my hair buzzed pretty short (3 on top, 1 on sides/back) and frankly, it's the only way to go. It's usually the same price as a chain place, but the people tend to be more friendly, almost always speak perfectly good english, and have a tendancy to not carry fleas. *shrug*

bernadette

Supple Cow,
fleas were always a big issue for us & our pets until the Bayer company put out a wonderful product called, Advantage. once a month you apply a small tube of liquid to your pet's coat. best product ever! haven't seen a flea on our pets or inside our home for the many years we've been using this.

before advantage was on the market, we did the flea collars (even Rx ones from the vet, not the waste of money ones from the drug store), we used flea shampoo, flea dip & carpet/furniture spray. fleas remained a constant problem despite all our efforts.

Advantage used to be prescription only, but now you can purchase it at pet stores such as Petco. believe me, it's worth every last cent that it cost.

<img src="http://www.nofleas.com/content/images/homeimage.jpg">
http://www.nofleas.com/

oh! they have a new product that i am going to have to give a try. sometimes when we walk our dogs in wooded places we find a tick or two on them...
http://www.k9advantix.com/

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dougiefresh

One of the things I dread about getting my haircut are barbers/hairstylists talking my ear off. Basically, you're detained when you're in that chair and I'm sure that was the longest haircut you've ever had, irateplatypus.

I like going to the old school barbershop in my neighborhood where the barber actually gauges your mood before flapping their yap ad naseum. I want to sit in the chair, get my haircut and basically be left alone. I'm not anti-social, but for some reason I'm already uncomfortable in that chair. Thats why I like the dentist...they don't expect you to talk when they have their hands in your mouth

irateplatypus

just for the record... i only mentioned she was philippino to set up the language difficulty. not implying that her flea problem had anything to do with that.

and yes, coming from a family that keeps 3 dogs... i'm sure that they've brought in a flea or two over the years.

what made this situation so bizarre to me was the nonchalant way she worked it into conversation... no, she actually made it the TOPIC of conversation. i thought about talking to the manager, but i felt bad for her. i've been on the other end of awkward cultural encounters so i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

the haircut, however, was passable. not the greatest, but worth my 6 bucks. good ol' AAFES.

__________________
If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill

Bill O'Rights

some things...never change.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

asudevil83

i've got a little story. probably 10 years or so ago (when i was 11 or so) i was at the barber shop. i was getting my hair cut and the chick that was cutting my hair sliced herself with the scissors not once, but twice. the first was that webby piece of flesh between the thumb and pointer finger. OUCH. and the second was the tip of the finger.

i swear that was the LONGEST haircut EVER. and if i remember correctly, the manager sent her home and someone else finished me up.