warrrreagl

This is something that resurfaced last week when a student was telling me about a fender-bender. In telling her story, she gave me dissertations on weather conditions, the deceptive speed of the other driver, the deceptive color of the other driver's car, the apparent malfunctioning timing mechanism on the traffic signal, etc. But at no point did she simply say, "It was totally my fault; I ran a red light and hit that car." Although I'm sure that's what the accident report probably summarized, she doesn't tell it that way.

This is something I've noticed for a long time. Nobody ever seems to admit when they fuck up in traffic; there are always mitigating circumstances that excuse and alibi someone's reasons for fucking up. Have you ever heard someone say any of the following:
"I was speeding, and it was my fault."
"I cut that guy off and I shouldn't have."
"If I'd used my blinker, this wouldn't have happened."
"I shouldn't have been talking on my cell phone, and it was my fault."
"Boy, I sure did swerve back and forth between the lanes too many times, didn't I?"

I challenge all of you to tell your next traffic story honestly the way a disinterested observer might tell it.

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ARTelevision

Well, I've observed that this is one area where people descend into useless rage and defensive behavior. I just don't let myself go there. I do criticize my own driving. I don't see why working to be objective shouldn't be a personal goal in those situations where we typically fall into baby-level blaming...

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Carno

Hehe, I predict that most people in this thread will say they always admit when they were wrong

I once caught myself making up an excuse for bumping into the back of someone, but then I realized that the lame excuse doesn't change it being my fault, so I just said I wasn't paying enough attention. Usually I don't have a problem in traffic, but if I do, I don't ever tell anyone about it, foregoing me from looking like an idiot, and having to make up an excuse to make me look like less of an idiot

Averett

I was in a tiny fender bender a few years back. We were stopped at a stop sign, and I was watching the traffic on the left. I thought I saw the woman in front of me go, so I took my foot off the break. And *tap*, I hit her. We both moved to the shoulder of the road and got out. I apologized, explained that I was looking in the other direction and thought that she had gone ahead. Luckly there were only a few scratches and she was fine with it.

So I guess I owned up to my mistake, with the qualifier of not paying attention...

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f6twister

I think people in general have a hard time admitting their mistakes. I talk to people all day long who blame all of their errors and problems on everything else but themselves. I wish I could say I never blamed someone or something else, but I have. At least I've realized the error of my ways and now take responsibility for mistakes I make.

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Psycho Dad

This goes far beyond just traffic accidents. People in general no longer feel like they are responsible for anything. In fact I feel we have become conditioned into believing that there is always an "if this wasn't like this" excuse that absolves us from being accountable for our own actions. For the most part I blame ambulance chasers for this, but that could be a whole other rant.

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RogueHunter65

I agree that people don't usually admit if a traffic accident was their fault. I admit to my fault only in private to my friends. But I would never tell a cop or the other driver that I was at fault. Telling a cop, "I was speeding or opps I cut him off" is a bad idea. In my state at least, if you tell a cop this, they will give you a ticket or citation. Nothing like adding insult to injury. I know someone this happened to, they told the cop that they were speeding and caused the accident and the cop gave them a ticket for a speeding violation.

That’s why when cops ask what happened people put a spin on the story. Probably some of those people stick to the story in private. Or at least that my 2 cents on it.

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laconic1

As litigious as American society is today, admitting fault can expose you to liability, so if there is the slightest shred of doubt or the slightest chance it can be someone else's fault it is usually best to keep quiet rather than outright admit it. Keeping quiet is different than finding excuses though.
The only fender bender I have been in in my life was about six years ago when I was in community college. I had just got out of a class that was on one end of the campus and had to go to the other end of the campus. I was cutting across a parking lot at about 10 mph when I heard tires schreeching. I stopped and looked just in time to see a suv hit the right front corner of my car. I knew it was my fault for not looking, and as we got out we both kind of stood there and assessed the damage. Since my car was a pos anyways and all it did was dent the fender, and his suv just got a deep scratch on the plastic bumper cover we decided to let it go. The next day I thought about the screeching tires and went back to take a look at the skid marks. The length of the skid marks showed clearly that he was going far faster than the 10 mph limit posted at the entrance to the parking lot, more like 40 mph. He kept his mouth shut, I kept my mouth shut, even though we both knew we were at fault, we probably didn't realize when it happened that the other person was also at fault. If either one of us had admitted fault we would have been held completely liable for something that was only partially our fault.

Lasereth

I know exactly what you mean. I recently got my first ticket for overtaking another vehicle (passing on the right). I kept trying to think of excuses of why I did it. In the end, all that matters is that I DID do it and I chose to do it. I could have risked hitting the guy ahead of me or causing an accident with the guy behind me, but I chose to go around him, knowing it was illegal.

I had to go to an Alive at 25 course to get the ticket reduced (I love the American Auto Insurance policies). I'm 21 years old...the rest of the class were 17 or under. We had to go around the room and tell why we were taking the class. I simply said I passed a guy on the right. The guy behind me: "I got pulled over for speeding!! I was only doing 20 over, such bullshit. I swear my speedometer said it was 5 over!!"

Next person: "I got pulled over for racing another car!! and I didn't even start the race!! cops can be such dicks"

Next person: "I ran a redlight and a car hit me!! he didn't even try to stop!!!"

next: "I got a speeding ticket but I know I wasn't speeding, that cop was mean"

You get the picture. "I'm here because I did something wrong but it was completely not my fault and I shouldn't have got caught." That's basically what every single kid there said. JUST ADMIT you were a immature ignorant teenager that speeds because your mommy will pay for your ticket. Don't hide behind excuses. AHH!!!!!! That really gets on my nerves.

-Lasereth

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Rlyss

I once made a coffee for someone, gave it to him and he sat down on a couch, the cushion moved when he sat down and he spilled some coffee and the first words out of his mouth were 'Agh, you're coffee's all over the couch!'

It seems that whenever something bad happens it's someone else fault. I've had a car accident, not even a dent, but I've had two close calls. One time I was looking out for a building number and almost went up the back of someone, another time it was on the down slope of a hill in the rain and I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't notice the car in front slowing down for a red light. Both times were because I wasn't paying attention, but stories don't work like that.

When telling someone a story we tend to embellish it slightly I suppose. Saying 'I almost had an accident tonight because I wasn't paying attention' isn't as interesting as saying 'I was on a downhill slope late last night, and it was pouring with rain. The car in front braked suddenly, I hit the brakes but my tyres skidded a bit but eventually stopped just inches away from his rear bumper!' The responsibility is sort of implied, I suppose, but the interesting parts of the story (the 'dark and gloomy night') are focussed on because they're more juicy than a simple 'I suck at driving'.

I think there's also the obvious humiliation or embarassment that comes along with an accident or a near accident, especially if it's a dent or a cracked light, something that was totally avoidable. The more avoidable or minor the accident is I think the more likely it is that the one at fault will shift the blame, or complain that the other person made too big a deal out of it, because they're embarassed about the proof that they screwed up. It's fair enough I think.

dirtyrascal7

speaking from experience... not only is it that people don't take responsibility for their actions, but they regret getting caught more than they regret actually performing the infraction. if they thought they wouldn't get away with it, i guarantee there wouldn't be as many accidents or as many people speeding.

Stiltzkin

Well... you know, when you're dealing with people from Juarez, Mexico, or Chihuahua, Mexico, where the traffic laws aren't quite so rigid, and you get into an accident with one of them, it tends moreso to be their fault than yours, if you're from the US of A. That's all I'm gonna say.

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jorgelito

Insurance plays a big part in it too (at least in regards to driving and blame). You can't "accept the blame or responsibility" because it could screw things up. In fact, insurance agents routinely tell you not to say anything or the very least do not accept responsibility.

n0nsensical

You have to remember people in this country will sue over ANYTHING no matter how small the actual damage. Anyone at fault for so much as a paper cut could easily get raped in court for some "pain and suffering" bullshit. It would be nice to assume that the other person involved in the incident will be forgiving, but while there are lawyers and greedy people on the earth, you have to be extremely careful for your own self-preservation, which after all is the most basic instinct of any living thing.

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scout

Well I did one time and it costs me $8000 so never again! Let the courts decide you never know you might get lucky.

Grasshopper Green

I fortunately have never been involved in a car accident, but my mother in law was involved in one recently, and of course it was the other guys fault, even though she rear-ended him. Rear ending in Utah is automatically the rear-enders fault, doesn't matter what sob story you come up with, and knowing her, she was on her cell phone or lighting a cigarette or just generally not paying attention.

I do think that people being so sue-happy these days and worries over insurance and such make people want to place blame on anyone but themselves.

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ironmaiden7o7

Noone ever wants to admit that they're wrong, and if they do, it isn't whole heartedly. :-) I've never been in a car accident, but I have witnessed a few and both drivers always rush out of the car, none of them accepting the blame, it's funny at times.

guthmund

Well, I've been in a few car accidents and after paying through the nose for the first one, I keep mum and let the law/insurance companies sort it out.

I'm a pretty laid back driver as I hardly ever have a feather ruffled. That being said, I try to accept responsibility for my poor judgement and such in traffic. Now occasionally, I will have a bad day and sometimes vent on the drivers with me in traffic, a rare occurance I assure you, but usually when I get home and reflect, I realize that I probably over reacted and only succeeded in making an ass out of myself.

Now, my sister, is another beast. She never accepts responsibility. She once ran over some guy's mailbox because she was trying to apply makeup on her way to work as she was running late. She actually tried to convince the insurance company that the damage wouldn't have been so severe if the guy hadn't reinforced his mailbox with concrete and tried to get them to pressure the guy to pay a bit on the repair.

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bacon_masta

I've never heard anyone say any of those, but the one time I got caught speeding (75 in a 55) THAT COP TOTALLY HAD IT OUT FOR ME!!! He was profiling! And the sun was in my eyes! And...no, wait, it was totally my fault

slimshaydee

Sometimes I do sometimes I don't. One time I didn't bother to check my blind spot on the freeway and I cut some guy off. I wound down my window at the lights and appologised to the guy and he seemed pretty grateful that I appologised to him. Another time I did the same thing to a woman and I told her to get fucked. Depends on what mood I'm in. Oh and the only accident I was ever in I was a learner driver and I hit a tram track in the wet at 20kph and being inexperienced didn't know how to control it and I hit another car. My mum went and admitted it was my fault straight away, and the guy was a total jerk about it and tried to have a go at me.

StephenSa

I believe I would own up to fault if I ever hit anyone. I haven't as of yet. I have made mistakes though and will sheepishly and with much remorse admit it when I do. Driving a car is a major responsiblity so I feel really badly even when I make a small mistake. Small mistakes in a two ton bullet can cost lives. I admit I do speed. If I get a ticket and I'm speeding I don 't fight it and I don't blame the officer. Hey, I was speeding (ie: breakikng the law) and got caught. I deserve the punishment society hands out. I NEVER talk on a cell phone when driving. I rarely listen to the radio. I don't read or brush my friggin' hair while driving. I ALWAYS use my turn signals. If you can't take the responsibility to signal your lane changes well before you initiate the manuever then you are an idiot and shouldn't drive period. Everybody makes the occasional mistake but I believe if people actually DROVE their vehicles instead of just riding behind the wheel we'd all be safer. Driving is a serious responsibility, not a right.

Daoust

If I'm caught speeding, I'm caught speeding. I always know, as soon as that cop whizzes by, and his lights come on, that I'm busted. I never ever try to out talk the cop, I always confess my guilt, and sometimes it pays off. The way I see it, the cops get enough shiite from so many people in a day, that they're actually grateful for a nice guy.

Second example where being a nice guy paid off. A lady cost control on the highway one night, during a snow storm. I was following her, at a safe distance, but the roads were bad, and as she was swerving, I T-Boned her straight on. Anyway we both managed to get our cars off the road, and while we were waiting for a Tow Truck we started talking. We were pleasant to each other and there was no laying the blame or fault. When the tow truck came, it took her car because it was mangled, but my car was fine enough to drive. She ended up at the wreckers, and I told her I'd come and pick her up and drive her home, which I did.

In the end I got a rental car for two weeks, and my whole front end replaced, and it didn't cost me a penny and my insurance didn't go up. I assume that she took full responsibility.

So the moral of the story is that sometimes being a nice guy pays off.

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Tophat665

It is NEVER my fault. It's always the guy from Maryland's. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Seriously, though, whether or not it was my fault, there is no way I would admit it to anyone outside my family until the claims were all paid out. It's sad, but it's not smart to give anything away that a lawyer can argue with. I have done so in the past and it has cost me.

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streak_56

I remember when I got pulled over in ohio because I didn't have a license plate on the front of my car. I pretty much had no choice but to own up to what I did, though I didn't know you need one... I was from canada, we don't have one on the front of ours. Anyways it was either a $50 fine or put one on there and I made sure the next day that I had a new one on the car.

But from stories I heard about accidents, most recently my step-sister... its never their fault. There is always an excuse for something. Personally I think if you're honest with the cop while speeding, he/she might let you off with a warning.

warrrreagl

This has been my experience. I've only been in one wreck that was my fault, and I flat out ran a red light because I wasn't paying attention. A mustang driving across the intersection had no time to avoid me and she slammed into me. When the cop got there, he pulled out his notebook and tiredly asked me, "Okay, let's hear the brilliance. What happened." I simply said, "It's my fault. I ran the red light and she hit me."

He did not give me a ticket for running the light, and the accident report simply said "Inattention." I think he was grateful that I owned up to the blame and didn't give him some 20-minute soap opera story.

As to the other comments made by several folks, I also agree that America's litigious society is to blame for most of this problem. It seems that in the 60's, there was an attempt to correct social evils by using the courts, and anybody who claimed to be a victim was believed to be so. That in turn has taught people to tell stories so that the story-teller is a perpetual victim; even it was their fault.

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Cynthetiq

that's the answer right there.. it doesn't have much to do with litigations and such... sure that's a part of it, but not the real reasons... people just don't want to ever be wrong.

Is anyone every wrong or at fault anymore?

I know that I admit when I'm in the wrong on anything... from traffic to discussions.

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SaltPork

I never make excuses when I get caught speeding, that's the last thing a cop wants to hear, unless he/she is looking for entertainment.

As far as admitting wrongdoing when it comes to driving, I will admit it. No shame in it. I just make sure that the story is at least entertaining. Like the time I nearly wiped out these two kids driving in some tiny shitbox with my mini-van. I was changing lanes and I only checked my side and rear mirrors, I never checked my blindspot. Just as I was making the move I caught a flash of movement, of course, I was halfway in their lane. I got back over in a hurry. Boy were they pissed!! I apologized and all was well, thank God we didn't collide on the highway doing 70mph, that would have sucked. Worse than that is it would have been my fault and more than likely someone would have died.

I've become a lot more defensive while driving than I used to be. I think it's served me well, because most people aren't.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

bad jane

hrm, the only time i've ever hit anyone (well, more like a tap--i was going maybe 5 mph) i took responsibility for it. i was slowing down for a stop sign and hit a patch of black ice, bumped the car in front of me. we got out and looked at it but there was no damage to either car. we exchanged info anyway and a week later he called to tell me it was his gf's car and she noticed a scratch on the bumper. so, i shelled out $400 so they could get it repainted.

i didn't even bother with insurance because even though the ice contributed to the accident, he was stopped and i was moving--it certainly wasn't his fault.

alicat

A few years ago I came to a stop on a yellow light. No stopping fast as in a last second decision to not speed up and go through, just your text-book stop. I put the gear in neutral, looked up and saw in my rear-view mirror a broncco flying towards my rear-end. I had just enough time to turn to my right and try to brace my poor dog from hitting the dash (a move that bought me physical therapy for my back), which I wasn't successful at. He hit the dash like a ton of bricks and had a couple teeth knocked out. The asshole pushed my truck (yes, although not a major accident, he hit me hard enough to push a truck) halfway into the intersection. Luckily the light for traffic going the other direction had just turned green so no one hit me.

We pull over into a parking lot and it turns out to be an older man. He had the balls to ask me, "Why didn't you go through the yellow light?"!!! What?! A yellow light means SLOW DOWN AND PREPARE TO STOP FOR THE RED LIGHT. The accident was completely his fault and yet he tried to pass the buck by blaming me for obeying the law and driving safely. His facial expression clearly showed that he knew he was a fault but didn't want to own up to it. I just shook my head in disgust and waited for the cops who knew right off the bat he was at guilty.

With the "no fault" laws we have in Michigan, even though he hit me we had to pay for the damage and our rate went up, sheesh.

Ali

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IC3

I have never hit anybody and have only been waved the finger like once or twice, I have cut somebody off on the highway once..That was just me not really paying attention.

I have no problem admitting if i fuck up on the road..It's just it doesn't happen very often. I love all these drivers with all this road rage flowing through thier veins and if they are behind me in a rush sitting on my bumper...I play with them only because, If your sitting on my bumper..your putting me at risk because you didn't give yourself time to get wherever you got to get too..So i'm either gonna piss this person off enough to pass me or back off of me, and if they hit me..well then it's thier fault for tailgating and that's careless driving which is a big ticket.

I have seen people make some pretty stupid moves on the road..Now i know this makes me look like i'm not admitting that i fuck up..I have only made a few mistakes where somebody else could have been involved..I think this is because..I'm never in a rush to get where i'm going, Everybody seems to be in such a rush.

For example: (This doesn't really have to do with people being in a rush, Just stupid drivers in general who arent thinking about anybody who's around them) Have you ever been just driving along and thier is really know cars ahead of you and somebody passes you and then pulls in front of you and slows down alittle bit? I have this happen all the time, thier is 2 lanes with minimum traffic infront of us and this person just has to pass me and then sit infront of me.

Or

I was in a plaza parking lot and got totally cut of by some lady talking on her cell phone..I didn't blow my horn, I stayed calm and she gave me the dirtiest look almost as if it was my fault that she pulled out in front of me while too busy in her conversation about whatever to even look to see if it was clear to go...I don't have respect for anybody who talks on thier cell and driving at the same time.

I like to give a smile and wave at anybody who thinks they own the road and are pissed off cause i'm not doing 30 over the limit, On city roads max i do is 10 over..Highway i go with the flow off traffic which is usually about 20 over.

Oh and highway drivers who sit in the passing lane...This bugs me, I have seen people doing approximatly the exact speed limit sitting in the passing lane with no cars to pass..with people going with the flow of other traffic sitting behind this person waving like "Get the fuck out of the way" I usually always stick to the far right lane which is suppose to be the slow lane..but alot of times it's moving faster than the passing lane.

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TheFrogel

At risk of turning this (more) into storytelling of past accidents:

I'm chilling here in Jamaica for four weeks, I'm a US citizen though and have lived there all my life. You drive on the left side of the road here, like in England. Anyway, we're sitting, waiting to make a right turn, and there's a few cars that need to clear out of the oncoming lane. It's dark. Two cars go around us on the left, travelling in the same direction as us. Sitting there ten seconds or so. Just as we're about to go, we get hit from behind. Weirdest two seconds of my life while I figured out why my seat was reclined and my leg hurt. So we get out (me and the guy I'm staying with, a priest), and the guy who hit us comes out and starts yelling at US. It was the most surreal thing ever. The only thing I was doing wrong was not using my blinker, but it's on the right side of the steering column instead of the left, so I was still getting used to that (I was here five days at that point and had jsut started driving). So okay, I guess I'm trying to weasel my way out of that, but...I mean, come on. Brake lights were on. Two people went AROUND us. And he hits us, full speed I think, 50 kmph or 30 mph. (I heard no screeching, saw no skid marks). And he comes out yelling at us...I juse couldn't believe it.

Heh, so you tell me: Am I not admitting fault by downplaying the blinker, or is it totally his fault?

Aftermath: Once it was revealed his insurance had lapsed, he fully admitted fault and is working on paying Father for the repairs. Happened four days ago, and repairs have begun.

billege

I am very good at observing other's faults on the road. I don't get worked up about it, I think angry drivers have some real issues. I think to myself "dumbass" and go about my bidness.

I bet I don't notice more than 1/3 of the "dumbass" moments I make. I'm sure other drivers have thier own opinions.

Occasionally, I do something and realize, "damn, I just cut that guy off, etc." I do feel bad for about 3 seconds, but what can you do?

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la petite moi

Typically if I do something wrong, I 'admit' it by saying, "Dammit, I should have watched what I was doing!" I have never been in an accident between cars (just a fender-bender at the gas station when I ran into a pole).

Frowning Budah

I am going to join the crowd and quit taking any kind of responsibility. Today if you are willing to accept responsibility for anything there are plenty of people willing to dump all the blame on you and try and benefit from your honesty. Do I sound bitter? You are right, but that is for another post.

The_Jazz

Interestingly enough, something of this nature happened to me not too long ago. I was driving home from the office and got off of Lake Shore Drive at my normal exit. There is a crosswalk on one side and a continuous sidewalk on the other (there's on entrance ramp back onto the Drive there). As I approached the crosswalk, a runner started across and I had to slam on the brakes. Thankfully I have anti-lock brakes, but it was a close thing. I started to blow my horn and yell at her but realized that I was 100% in the wrong. She's a pedestrian in an uncontrolled, clearly marked crosswalk, which gives her the right-of-way 100% of the time.

As much as I wanted to blame her, I couldn't.

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thespian86

I fess up. I've never been in an accident of my doing before (been re-ended twice) so it's usually not a verbal "sorry".

The other day I was pulling out of the mall onto the ramp that connects to the highway. There was a guy in an Audi in the turn lane of the lane I was merging into. He was speeding pretty heavily and without signaling, switched lanes into my lane as I was pulling in. He beeped and slowed (I hit the gas and was at 60 by the time he got there) but it was my fault. I could of waited the three seconds for him to go by instead of shooting out.

So I gave him a wave and a "my bad" face.

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dlish

ive never been in an accident where it been my fault..although the other drivers reniged both times after admitting fault.

i hate motherfuckers that admit fault during an accident and then screw you when you get home...

i always got my money in the end..but geez i had to fight for it

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wooÐs

I definitely admit when I'm in the wrong. Problem is, they can't hear me when I'm rambling, 'sorry sorry my fault sorry!!!'

biznatch

Yeah, I don't drive, but "It's not me it's them" is definitely something I've noticed on the road.
My friend Thomas will curse people out for changing lanes in traffic, because it slows it down, but eventually he'll do it too when that next lane looks it is moving a lot faster, and curse again when it stops moving as soon as he makes it in it.
Also, my dad, who was a skilled driver, but not a nice one, would chase people who'd cut him off and drive like an asshole. But he wouldn't admit that he was being an asshole, he'd just point the blame at the car in front of him. In my opinion, it was a bit of both. Sure, the other guy started it, but my dad could have lessened the risks by just keeping his driving normal.
For some reason though, it seems to me that the dumbest drivers always get away with stuff.
One of my female acquaintances is as dumb as bricks. She once drove her friend to New York City, and was very surprised while she was saying "look, I really don't recognize this area of Manhattan, it's like each time you go to the city it's a new experience." Of course, she was in Brooklyn.
Later that night, she made an illegal left and went north on Lexington Av. Which is big a one way street that goes South.
Thank god, it was 3 am and traffic was very sparse, but still. People like that could be the ones that cause the fender bender that got you seriously injured, or killed. Someone else could have been crusing down Lex at 45 mph, imagine the head-on collision...*shudders*... Later on, she blamed the lack of parked cars, so she claimed she didn't see it was the wrong way. But if you're taking the responsibility of driving in NYC, you need to know how the streets/avenues work, and be extremely aware of what's going on.
Maybe if we had more black box type recorders in our car (which we do to some extent) these claims could always either be confirmed or debunked, but then you're getting in a sticky situation if you can only rely on recorders.

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Jinn

My father stopped for a yellow light in Detroit, MI.. the guy behind him crashed into the car, got out, yelled at my dad for stopping at the yellow light, and swung at a crowbar at his head. He put his arm up and had it broken rather than his skull, and the guy drove off. I was in the car the the time, apparently.. though too young to really remember. Yellow lights are apparently serious business in Michigan..

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