Halx

I'm thinking for a moment here. We're all a part of an online community. Some of us have made contact with our fellow members in ways that defy the very concept of human relathionships of 20 years ago. We've become friends, lovers, business partners and confidents... many times without ever meeting eachother. Obviously, some people take the internet more seriously than others.

Being an internet junkie since 1991, I've found my niche and have learned what to trust and what to stay away from. Through this knowledge, I have been able to make good decisions on who to first call my friends, then to invest any amount of emotional weight into them. I haven't met half the people in real life who I consider to be a real friend. Does the fact that I haven't met them face to face make them any less of a valid friend? People have fallen in love over the internet. Is their love invalid because they have never met?

My question to you is.. how seriously do you take the internet and it's inhabitants? Are we all just faceless automatons typing stuff into our computers just so you can read it? Are we all individuals, each using the internet for our own purposes? Are we all kids at heart, engaging this huge engine of imagination for nothing more than mental stimulation? Are we all romantics, investing in the world wide web as the next frontier in humanity's evolution? Tell me.

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pig

Hal,

My opinion : the internet is much like any other form of communication / information. It is the most accessible avenue in the so-called Information Age / Revolution. It is a platform for the meeting of minds, if it is used correctly. People can be deceptive, but that is nothing new, and it certainly didn't start with the Internet. People can lie in letters, verbal communication, etc. I take others on the internet seriously to the point that I judge they are worthy of serious consideration. I think there is no alternative to the statement that we are all just using the internet for our own purposes, but that does not preclude the entire notion that we may also be bound though a larger consciousness, Absolute Mind, etc. That may be beside the point you are trying to make / question you are posing.

/my take

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IC3

I think the Internet is what you make of it, Just like life i guess.

In the past 6 or 7 years of being on the internet i have met 3 or 4 people that i first met online..Nothing much came of it..except for 1 person, It was interesting meeting the person that I had so many faceless conversations with, Then meeting her..Then seeing eachother for about 2 years.

As far as everyone on the TFP goes, I respect everybody the same until someone gives me a reason not too..That hasn't happened, But thats the way i am in real life so i carry that same rule on here.

TFP is really the only source i use now to communicate with other people, the rest of the internet (Besides messenger programs) is a source of entertainment i would say.

I know that this forum is made up more than people out in cyber space pounding away at there keyboards, I can't say that i have really engaged in an in depth conversation with anybody on TFP since i became a member way back when, Except for Angel. I am not very good at expressing myself or my opinion..I have a hard time getting what i'm thinking out into the message field..which makes it harder for me to say what i wanna say when i read a thread that i wanna take part in.

I guess this could be a motivator to become more interactive with people here and to kinda step out of the shadow, Seeing as i have been a member here for over 2 years (I have taken break's from the internet within the time i have been here) and haven't really become close to anybody.

TFP is more than entertainment to me, There's alot of knowledgeable people here that i wish i only knew half of what they know. There's also alot of people that i would like to converse with. I was always told by my father (Asshole) to speak when your spoken too, I hate him for that..because it's stuck to me.

I think of the TFP more than just faceless people, Alot of you have put a face to go along with your words which to me makes it that much more interesting.

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warrrreagl

Hal, my wife and I discovered the Internet in 1994 when we moved far, far away from home to a distant galaxy known as "Iowa." Overnight, we were suddenly both completely isolated from anybody that looked like us, talked like us, or thought like us, and it was POWERFULLY lonely. We bought AOL at Wal-Mart and became members (which is where the warrrreagl name came from initially) and our sanity was literally saved.

Each night, we couldn't wait to get online and have conversations with people we'd never met but were fellow Southerners out there who made us feel wanted, appreciated, and needed again. There were times when we probably got too close to people online and I'm sure mistakes were made in the learning process, but I really think we would have gone totally bonkers without the Internet.

Therefore, today I view my online friends as VERY real people and I don't really notice any difference in the way I converse with/admire/hate/avoid online presences than I do fleshy people at work or at home. All of my friendships (whether live or electronic) progress at about the same pace and rate.

As a couple, I think our main regret is that we don't get to go out to eat or go to ballgames with people we know online. I am strongly jealous of those of you who do, and you all should greatly appreciate that luxury.

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bollocks

I'm just here for the porn...

Seriously though, I love the internet and admit that it plays a pretty big part in my life. I even dare to say that almost 90% of the things I learn or research are pulled from the web, while about 10% go to books. Frankly, I have to admit that the information I am talking about mostly relate to webstandards and web-design. So obviously, there aren't much other sources than the web and books.

But I even read political, financial or sports news rather online than having the TV turned on or buying myself a newspaper.

Which leads us onto another interesting question; Do you trust information you find on the web?

Oh yeah, and as we all know, the internet is a great aid to the five knuckle shuffle.

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ratbastid

There's a big dividing line for me between TFP and certain blogs, where I know there are actual meat-space human beings behind the pixels, and certain other sites and media, where that human contact is less clear.

Usenet generally lacks any human quality. Interestingly enough, I think IRC does too. Reading those is sort of like reading the newspaper.

I think the difference is, on TFP and on several of my favorite blogs, there's an effort made to be genuine and authentic, and the things that inhibit that authenticity are kept out by rigorous moderation. Blogs are basically a single voice, so the moderation is inherent in the structure. On TFP the moderators and admins do the admirable job of filtering anything that's not true human connection.

Glory's Sun

People are naturally drawn to each other. So it's no surprise that people on the TFP are able to form friendly and sometimes romantic relationships. There is a huge melting pot of people on this board and there's pretty much something for everyone and plenty of people who share similar intrests with others.

I don't think that not having actually seen people face to face makes them less of a friend. A friend is much more than a physical trait. People help each other out weather it's a simple hello, or they give someone some adivce. This is made easier via the internet. While I don't take alot of what I find on the internet seriously, there are people that I've "met" on tfp that I enjoy talking to and consider to be friends. This is due to the fact that there are alot of genuine people on this board.

With the WWW growing in leaps and bounds every day, people are realizing that it is more than just an information highway. They are realizing that it's a way to contact a member of humanity and engage in hearty discussion and also a way to find people with similar interests. It takes some of the work out of the real world. For example, you go to a club or bar (or whatever your scene is) and you see people that seem like they would be cool or have the same interests. Now you have to figure out a way to contact them. On the internet, it's easier to make contact. Push a few plastic buttons that transform your thoughts into visible words and voila! you've made some sort of contact. So to make a long story short. I take people on TFP and the TFP itself very seriously, and I think that the WWW as well as TFP are going to only grow in popularity as a form of human contact.

Squishor

I take the internet moderately seriously - for better or worse, I do seem to care what people think, even if they're faceless automatons typing away out there in digital space.

I think people's attitudes in general tend to vary. There's something about the relative safety of not seeing another person face to face that influences the way we communicate on the internet. Some of us use it as a venue for personal confessions we wouldn't otherwise air, and some of us can be real jerks. There is one person I'm thinking of, who I met via another website where people can make comments and have conversations (but not really a message board). We exchanged emails and pictures, and I thought we were friends, except when it came to the public comments he made on the website, some of them have been really quite insulting. It may be that he doesn't realize, being from another country, or it may be that this guy is just a jerk. In any case, I take his comments seriously enough that I no longer want to email him. I doubt that he understands that for whatever reason.

OFKU0

I am facinated by the internet. Almost anything I need to know I can find in seconds. I think my facination goes further though to those who understand computer language,programs, problems,...all chinese to me.

As for internet forums, for me they are entertainment. I get a kick out of differing opinions and the reasoning behind them.

As for friendships or meeting people from the internet. I have no use for that. No offence to the folks here, but I have absolutely no desire to meet any of you. I look at my computer screen and attach no emotion to it or it's contents as per the members. Guess I'm old fashioned that way.

But I suppose to really understand that, you'd have to know me very well in the first place.

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StanT

Internet relationships are every bit as real as any other relationship, but there are some differences. While I'm somewhat shy and anti-social in person, that doesn't carry over to the internet. Friendships that take forever to develop in person, occur much faster on the internet. While I am very slow to drop a friend in real life, my loyalty to internet friends (and sites) is fleeting.

I take people and personalities on the internet seriously, where it seems justified. I don't go out of my way to offend people, nor do I go out of my way to be inoffensive.

Suave

Half of the E-people I talk to are just random anonymous people. The rest have "identities" that I attach to them. Either through pictures, or just talking ot them a lot. It's all pretty important, but then I could live without it. I do agree with most of what Stant said, except for the differences in fleetingness between real life friendships and E-friendships.

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yellowchef

I feel that internet relationships are as valid as direct relationships. In the days before computers people had pen pals which they kept in close contact with and respected as if they were right there with them. I know that I consider many of the people I have talked to over the past years friends, many that Ive met in person and many that I have not. I talk to lots of people on the phone and treat them just as I do all my other friends. I think the internet has brought us closer and like anything else can be used for good or evil.

Like ratbastid said people are drawn to one another when a common interest is shared. Blogs and message boards have helped to expedite this process so that when someone finds a community they like they stay. I honestly would never abandon my direct friendships to stay at home and sit online, but if I have a night at home or nothing to do its nice to hop on here and talk to my friends.

I will say I dont take everything to heart ESPECIALLY on the internet. I trust those that Ive befriended, but if something were to fall through I wouldnt be terribly upset. I definately do not seek my husband here on the net, but if it happened that would be just fine.

I think the internet is just this generations "pen pals"

Grasshopper Green

I view my online friendships as just as "real" as my real life friendships. I only have a few of what I would consider true friendships from online chatting, but I know that those people will be there for me if I need to chat, vent, need a shoulder to cry on, etc. The internet opens up a world of possibilities to us that we never had before, and that includes a world of people we never would have had a chance to interact with. I feel it has added a lot to my life, through friendships and the way I perceive things in general; it has expanded my horizons in both ways.

ARTelevision

It's important.

Only recently have I begun to resurrect the distinction between 'online' and 'real life.' The reason for that is because the majority of people who use online communications evidently do not comprehend that it is not different in any way from "real life."

Obviously the Internet isn't any different from "real life." The medium one uses to communicate with another human being doesn't define the communication as being "real" or "not real." However, since in my experience, it has become clear that most humans behave as if there is a distinction between relationships with other humans based on the media by which they communicate, I've decided to include awareness of that erroneous perception in my daily relationships - many of which take place online.

An interesting metaphor is the "video-game metaphor." As generations of computer gamers move into situations of having more-or-less "actual lives," I see them projecting the video-game metaphor upon their interactions - especially those involving computer communications. There are times when I will be conversing with someone when it becomes exceedingly clear that they are "playing a game with me."

Observations like this have given me enough insight to decide to reconstruct a barrier affording me some distance from the way other people tend to use computers. My own insights notwithstanding, if the people in a room don't think it's real, it's not.

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Jonsgirl

Oh, I almost died.....

Seriously though, the internet is very important to me. I've used it as the (almost) sole form of communication with my husband for a year and a half now. I have no idea what I would've done without my messenger.
I honestly don't know that many people, much less know them well enough to call them friends. My contact list has five or six people on it. And there's a few more that I talk to in magic online, but that's it. It's not because I don't like the internet, it's just that I don't have/ make many friends. I'm like that in real life, too.

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degrawj

Since my best friends have moved out of the area, I don't have many opportunities to open up to someone face to face, so I do it here. I'd say it has kept me sane, because I can't imagine what life would be like not having enough people to open up to. It'd feel so empty.

Bryndian_Dhai

I've never been particularly good at making or keeping friends... I can be a little standoffish (though I don't mean to be) and I am nearly phobically shy... Speaking to someone I've never met face-to-face can make me sick to my stomach. I'm also one of those people whose personality craves honesty, and I give honesty in return... I'd rather hear the brutal truth than a gentle white lie, and unfortunately, I tend to give the brutal truth more often than I pad things with comforting prevarication.

I'm not good with the everyday maintenance things that a friendship requires, either.... I don't do telephones, I can't stand gossip or idle chatter about nothing. I know these are my own shortcomings, and I try to balance them out, but sometimes my friendships suffer if my friends aren't ready to not hear from me for days at a time.

The internet has given me an outlet. I do not have the same phobic shyness when I'm talking face-to-computer-to-face. And the internet opens up a world of people with whom I have a connection, common interests and personalities and ideas. Its been fascinating meeting so many different people.

For all the people I meet, though, there are only a very few with whom I've found a real connection.... And some of those people I have been friends with since the early 90s when we first got a computer and internet connection. I have friends on the 'net that I've known longer than some of my face-to-face friends. I've met most of them, but there are one or two, some I've known more than 10 years, that I've never met face-to-face. That doesn't make them any less important or vital to my life....

I think the internet is a wonderful tool, and a gateway to a world of experiences and people... Caution and good sense should always prevail, just like in face to face relationships, but on the whole its something I would sorely miss if it were gone.

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JumpinJesus

I would like to be the kind of person who views the internet as a life-altering and monumental invention, but I find that I'm not really that person.

I tend to view the internet in much the same way I view the mall. It's a confined space where groups of friends get together and either hang out or buy shit. Except, on the internet, it's a pretend mall with porn shops every 35 feet and sidewalk preachers.

I also tend to find that many online communities - and chat rooms - are a lot like high schools at lunch time. You either belong to a certain clique or you don't. And if you don't belong, you're ridiculed. The irony here is that most online cliques are comprised of the people who were ridiculed in real life by high school cliques. It's for this reason that the TFP is like a tropical island in the shit-sea of online communities and is the only one to which I belong.

Aside from that, the only thing I do on the internet is buy concert tickets and check movie times. I still read real newspapers, shop in real bookstores, do research in a real library, buy real CDs, and vinyl when I can find what I want, watch movies on a large screen or on my television, drink in real bars and have sex with a real woman.

This isn't to criticize those who prefer doing these things on the internet, I just prefer the tangible aspects of doing what I do.

Also, have I mentioned that I'm a bit cynical?

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la petite moi

The internet is very important to me- I get cheap deals on books for school, entertainment, and I pretty much got to know my fiance on it. That's not in order of importance, mind you.

Sweetpea

I think as humans have moved away from the "small village" fomatt, in which everyone knew everyone else's business . . . we have been left with an empty void . . . seeking connection in lives where we pass our neighbors and merely say a polite 'hi' and even though they sleep within feet of us . . . we know nothing about the people we live close to and i mean Nothing! We wave hello and say "i'm great" whenever someone asks 'how is your day?' in polite society . . .
Yes, We have closeness with our loved ones, friends and family . . . but i think that humans need to feel connected to "the village" of people who live their lives so closely around us . . . Having an online community is a legitimate way to have this connection and intimate friendships, albeit they are considered "remote" connections by many, but are they really remote?? That some people think making connections online isn't real doesn't disuade me from knowing that the connections i have made on TFP and the dicsussions we have on the boards is a way for me to be connected to the 'whole' . . .
Connection is an interesting thing . . . but you feel it when it's there . . . and i certainly feel that on TFP . . . i love you guys!!!!

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Xell101

I came for the porn, and stayed for the engaging conversation. The internet is as legitimate as 'real life' as we make it, the only level of human interaction that can't be replicated is physical contact. Unfortunately many people pay little heed to it's overall quality, an epic communications medium riddled with typos, irregular and specific porn, and staggering quantities of utter bullshit. Shnikeys...

*Nikki*

I met my fiance on the internet.

I met Hal and everyone else here that way.

I am not really into the whole social scene for me the internet is how I have a life a lot of the time.

It, and everyone here, are extreamly importent to me.

amonkie

When the "real life' I lead causes my hours to be very different from the people I interact with on a day to day basis, the Internet is a timeless mix of people that I have been exposed to. Some people I've met are casual acquaintances, where others in which the other people and I have talked and shared and invested emotionally in the other have grown into strong friendships. While there are people that I may not ever meet face to face, I sometimes see it as a friend I have who's been away for an indefinite time. It doesn't make their friendship any less valuable to me.

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Demeter

I'm a real homebody, so I like the fact I can chat & interact with people in my own home without really having them over. ( I don't have to worry if the house needs dusting.) I can mingle with 'like minds' which I would have a hard time hunting down in real life. People are more open on the internet, I think, given the anonymous aspect of not being seen. And most of all, I can log on in my own time & not have to make plans with people.
As a footnote, I've only been online a little over a year (late bloomer). I don't know how I lived without it.

ARTelevision

This is an important thread. While, as I mentioned, some barriers are required in one's life - I wouldn't erect them too high. One of the best things in life is getting to know each other. The Internet does work very well for good people who know how best to use it. Thanks for the reminder, Hal.

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oh beloved

in the majority of cases, the internet is something far detached from my reality. i see it as a huge resource center - but most of the people i interact with, i already know in real life, or it's just in passing. i used to be more involved with the internet, and i'll admit - some great friendships developed there.. though none have lasted to this day. <p>
i can say though, i sort of met my boyfriend on the internet. the reason i say "sort of" is because we interacted once to exchange address to be pen pals (real ones!)... and have been living together happily for a year and a half now..

bad jane

interesting question...i think it depends, for me at least, on where i am. the net is a big space and i don't really treat every spot the same.

message boards are very community oriented for me. i view them as a hangout, with the majority of posters being regulars. so i treat them as such, i toss in my two cents now and again but until i start making connections with people, i tend to keep to myself. once i feel a part of the community, i open up more and allow some emotional involvement. till then though, it's kinda like talking to the locals while on vacation--i'm polite but if you don't like what i say, oh well, not like i'll ever see you again anyway.

chat rooms are a little more anonymous imo. people come and go so quickly that it's less about having a community. so there, i tend to view conversations more as entertainment and not introductions for something more.

blogs are like letters to the editor in the local paper...

i guess i feel the internet is what you make it. pretty much anything you are looking for can be found here, whether it is an answer to a question, a friend, a romance, a job or a few minutes of entertainment. what i'm looking for dictates where i go.

i have friends i've known for years that i've never met in person, but still consider them to be very good and very real friends. we've exchanged phone numbers and addresses. we swap christmas presents and birthday cards through the mail. if we lived closer (instead of opposite ends of the country) i'm sure we'd visit regularly as well.

minyn

AIM is my form of communication even with the friends in town. its cheaper than my cell phone.

as for people ive met, i have a few close friends who i met from online and i see and talk to them rarely, but theyre still there.

as for TFP people, up until a short time ago i really didnt connect from many here. But now i use IRC and i know them better. some very well, and the meet up has changed that as well.

but the people on the internet are companions, friends, those to share stupid experiences with, but there is always a barrier becuase this is not personal in any sense. its still very electronic.

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flat5

I started with BBS's and fido in the 80's. Internet in the 90's.
Tried chat for a short while. Found it to be for the very young.
I email friends almost every day, but have never made a friend via the
computer. And I always feel an outsider in any forum.

ngdawg

In the past 4.5 years since I started using computers at home, I have made some really wonderful relationships that began in chatrooms. I met my best friends through a car club chat.
It is not an exaggeration to say that being in that chatroom changed my life, because of whom I've met and I always make sure to thank those who have pushed, encouraged and helped me achieve what I never even considered to be possible a few short years ago.
I have realized that there are one or two who will use chatrooms to further their own agenda with no regard toward the people they target, but they are very few and far between and they tend to disappear rather quickly.
I like chat because of the interaction, the commonality found over time and the wealth of information we all possess in one form or another. I never knew what I could accomplish before using chats and, as I continue to participate in them, I continue to grow and learn.
Chats are not for the very young at all. Feelings of being 'an outsider' can fade if you take the time to observe. It's as personal as you make it to be. Myself, I am pretty open about most things; just as in any situation, I reveal what I want to reveal. In some ways, the internet is more pure-if there are judgements, they are based mostly on the words without ever seeing who is behind them, should one choose to not show themselves. We will always tend to judge or guess(note the thread about imagining how TFP'ers sound), but if we understand the limitations and keep an open mind, the world is ours for the taking.

World's King

What about me?

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