clavus

I sat across the table from my son’s little friend and his mom. The kid looked up at his mom and said, “I’m all full of pizza. There is no more room in my tummy.”

Teasing him, she replied, “Then I guess there’s no room in there for cake and ice cream.”

The kid looked distraught.

I chimed in, “Hey, way to go introducing bulimia at an early age.”

She looked at me blankly for an uncomfortable space in time, then laughed politely. She got the joke, but I guess I wasn’t that funny. It happens.

Later that evening, my wife took me aside. She told me that the gal I was joking with has a problem - she's bulimic.

HOW COME NOBODY TELLS ME THESE THINGS BEFORE I OPEN MY MOUTH?!

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JumpinJesus

Yikes. Sometimes there's just no way to know. Don't you wish we all had a rewind button that allowed us to go back to a certain place in time?

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bermuDa

ouch, talk about trampling on a nerve don't you love jamming your foot in your mouth?

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TexanAvenger

Ouch. I think it'd be safe to extra nice to her for a while. But like JumpinJesus said, there's no way you could've known. A girl who used to be a really good friend of mine was talking to me one day about dancers and how often they got eating disorders to stay in form. Not remembering that she herself used to be a dancer, I started joking about it... also not realizing that was her way of subtly telling me that she was bulimic and wanted me to help. She took a slightly less subtle route after that.

I don't really know what you can do to fix this situation, it doesn't really seem like a great idea to walk up to her and say that you didn't know she was bulimic and that you're sorry, since she didn't tell you she was. But since you couldn't've known, I wouldn't beat yourself up horribly over it. It seemed like a fairly witty comment at the moment.

thenewguy

Maybe it was a less-than-subtle nudge for her to pay closer attention to the way she handles food/reward behavior with her son. Agreed that it sucks to be the one to say stuff like that, but you may have done her a big favor in the long run.

Anyway, someone who's lived through a tragedy like that ought to have a sense of humor about it - otherwise they're just morose. And I speak from experience...

Zephyr66

smooth Clav, smooth

ratbastid

Yessir, you can always count on Clavus. What's great is, if it had been anybody else, the woman wouldn't have been bulemic and she'd have found the joke witty and clever.

Thanks for another one, Clav!

SaltPork

I think I just peed.

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Lockjaw

Man that's like a kick to the nuts. Sorry dude.

ryfo

Obviously you weren't full of pizza as you still had room in your mouth for your foot... anyway, what was she eating?

clavus

Nothing. She was just sort of sicking her finger way back inside her mouth...

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ngdawg

If only we could take back a few minutes and start over.
(I once asked a very overweight friend how Weight Watchers was going. Wasn't her that was going to it-duh)

omega2K4

I'm sorry, but that is hilarious.

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Suave

That's anorexics, not bulimics.

I mean, haha!

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Halx

Got it wrong, Suave.

Oh by the way...

hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha

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SecretMethod70

That's way too funny. No way you could have known so I wouldn't worry about it.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

onodrim

Clavus, someone really ought to make a movie of your life.

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Asuka{eve}

I would watch it!

510cut

lol dont worry about it Clavus... it definatly sounds like something I would do haha maybe its a norcal thing :P

FngKestrel

clavus, how do you consistently inject such hilarity into your life? I'm sure if your life was a sitcom, there'd be a looped laugh track behind the 4th wall.

Averett

So did you have room for cake and ice cream with your foot planted deeply in your mouth?

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God of Thunder

I'd laugh out loud at that if I didn't already have my foot in my mouth. It's usually stuck there most of the time.

I think my problem is that my mouth moves when I think. I have to work on that.

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la petite moi

Eek, that sounds really bad. For future reference, never make weight jokes (or jokes concerning illnesses concerning weight) around most women- it makes even the most stout of women cringe.

Averett

FYI... using "Stout" to describe a woman isn't a good idea either. As "stout" can mean "Bulky in figure; thickset or corpulent."

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la petite moi

LMAO, good point! See, I was thinking stout in character, but I'll be damned if there aren't women who would think"OMG ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?!" if you called them that.

Cynthetiq

do you wear socks???? because not wearing them makes it less fuzzy when inserting your foot into your mouth.

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clavus

I don't know. I've seen the play...

Hey, who would play the part of "clavus"?

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Cadwiz

Maybe Jim Carey?

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FngKestrel

Will Ferrell?

Supporting cast:
Lassie as your dog.
Nicole Kidman as your wife.
Generic Red plastic party cup as your toilet brush cup.
Sawzall as himself.

StanT

Asking them if they skipped their medication today, is also a bad idea. (from experience)

Xell101

I feel compelled to palm my forehead. You could really compile all these suckers into one or a few stories and then submit em' to something along the lines of Reader's Digest, or Reader's Digest.

Cervantes

Seriously buddy there is no way you could have known. She can't blame you for it. If she does she's not worth the effore being friendly to. We all have problems, we all deal with them. If she can't take it it's her problem.
There is just no way to please everybody.

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hambone

yikes, you are an unlucky man.

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Shpoop

thats the funniest, most unlucky thing ive heard in a long time. congrats

Suave

Damn it, you're right. I hate you.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

rat

bloody. fucking. genius. you sir, get rat's Grade A+ Comedy Goldmine award, undisputed.

i carry a little piece of clavus with me at all times.

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clavus

That's cool. I wasn't using that piece anyway.

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yellowchef

open mouth, insert foot.

but needless to say you couldn't have known...

Arroe

funny as hell.

It's her problem if she's bulemic. If you made her aware of it by making a joke, good for you.

Hard8s

Just think of it as an unintentional intervention!!! Maybe this one might stick with her. Maybe she'll see that what she does could screw up her kids life too, as kids tend to follow examples. I say my man!

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