My naked neighbor – a story - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Coppertop · 01-06-2005, 01:58 PM

I have this friend. We’ll call him Rob, as that’s his name. Rob is a cool guy, and I love him to death, but he doesn’t visit this site so he won’t know about his story being on here.

Rob used to own a Honda Accord. It was a good little car, serving its purpose well of getting him to and from work, home and school. Now, I don’t know about your particular neck of the woods, but in our area Honda Accords are (or were, as this was several years ago) the number one most popular car to be stolen/broken into.

Rob, being a working college student at the time, never had a lot of money. You could tell this by the condition his car was perpetually in. The interior was littered with schoolbooks, newspapers, old coffee cups - the whole shebang. His car has been broken into numerous times. Enough times, in fact, that the weather seal on the driver’s door was damaged so bad that it made a rather annoying whistling sound as he drove down the highway. His stock speakers in the rear window had been stolen long ago and he now had some rinky dink two dollar speakers back there so he could rock out to The Doors. There was never anything of value inside of this car. His windows not being tinted, anyone who looked into it could see this. Somehow this never prevented people from fucking with his car.

Having had his car broken into so often, he had started to become rather paranoid about the whole deal. So much so, in fact, that he had decided to visit severe physical punishment to the next fellow unlucky enough to be caught in his car.

Late one night he’s asleep in bed when he half wakes up to hearing the family dog barking. Now, the family dog only barks when there’s someone around the house who doesn’t belong. Realizing this in his half conscious state, he peers through the blinds and lo and behold what does he see? The dome light of his car on and a person’s silhouette in it.

He springs from his bed and rushes to the front door. He flips on the porch light, opens the door and bursts outside ready to deliver his unholy wrath upon the poor unsuspecting would-be thief. At the top of his lungs he screams out “Hey!” only to realize at that very moment that no one was in his car.

His dome light was not on. His car was not being broken into at all.

What he saw from his window was his neighbor’s car, across the street. The neighbor had come home late from work and parked on the opposite side of the street from Rob’s car so that Rob’s car was directly between his car and Rob’s window.

Now, you may be wondering where the title of the story comes in. Well, as you may have guessed, Rob sleeps naked. Yes friends, Rob ran outside in all his naked glory to scream at the neighbor. Well, the startled neighbor looks up, and is startled again to see Rob and his wang out on the porch in the chill night air. The neighbor recovers, shakes his head, and goes inside. Rob, mortified, retreats into his house. Soon after, he makes the worst decision of his life and tells his friends about the incident.

But, all is well that ends well. From that night on, whenever the neighbor saw Rob around, he’d give him a smile and wave politely. Rob would always turn a shade paler and look for a hiding spot.

So there you have it, my naked neighbor story.

spindles · 01-06-2005, 02:05 PM

I thought you might've lived next to Clavus for a second .

Even without him, this was funny

bendsley · 01-06-2005, 02:13 PM

HAHA, that was a great way to lighten my afternoon. Funny stuff.

Thanks

Mephisto2 · 01-06-2005, 02:25 PM

Naked stories are always fun.

Mr Mephisto

JumpinJesus · 01-06-2005, 02:55 PM

You told this story well. It was fun to read.

My wife and I are naked people. We enjoy being naked and, while we're not always naked, we do tend to walk around sometimes without clothes.

We live in a high rise so we typically think nothing of closing our blinds. One reason is because we hate blocking the awesome view we have of the city. One evening, we were out grabbing something to eat. On our way back, we happened to look up at our building from about a block away. It turns out that when our lights are on, you can see very clearly into our apartment, even 13 floors up. And from a block away, you can pretty much see everything.

Even more interesting is that this hasn't changed our habits. We've just realized that we're exhibitionists.

JStrider · 01-06-2005, 03:18 PM

wooo... naked...

if i had my own dorm room i would prolly spend a lot more time naked... but ive got a roommate...

when i had my own apartment dorm over my first summer i was naked a ton.... i twas way fun

CSflim · 01-06-2005, 03:18 PM

Thanks for sharing. That was a great story!

rat · 01-06-2005, 05:21 PM

nudity and mistaken identity. the makings of any modern classic

roderickpsu · 01-06-2005, 07:42 PM

That's great, serves him right...he should have at least grabbed a baseball bat and he could have used that to cover up his wang.

high_way · 01-06-2005, 08:23 PM

HAHA i like that story thanks. i wish i didnt live with my parents so i could sleep naked atleast. i dont dare to because they are both known for bursting in and whipping the covers off when i sleep-in in the morning..

sob · 01-06-2005, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JumpinJesus

You told this story well. It was fun to read.

My wife and I are naked people. We enjoy being naked and, while we're not always naked, we do tend to walk around sometimes without clothes.

We live in a high rise so we typically think nothing of closing our blinds. One reason is because we hate blocking the awesome view we have of the city. One evening, we were out grabbing something to eat. On our way back, we happened to look up at our building from about a block away. It turns out that when our lights are on, you can see very clearly into our apartment, even 13 floors up. And from a block away, you can pretty much see everything.

Even more interesting is that this hasn't changed our habits. We've just realized that we're exhibitionists.

Like the old joke about the elderly lady who called the cops because her neighbor was visibly naked in his house.

The cop comes, looks out her window, and says, "Lady, all I can see is that house two blocks away."

She says, "Of course. You have to stand on this chair and use these binoculars."

ehh19 · 01-06-2005, 08:58 PM

that was hilarious ... i am currently showing this site to my some of my friends... u just made 9 people practically wet themselves. thanks.

thumbs for each of my friends. and i added the lol guy

absorbentishe · 01-06-2005, 09:14 PM

Love the story, knew where it was going though... Unlucky neighbor...

yellowchef · 01-06-2005, 11:48 PM

hahahahah thats great, a good friend of mine woke up one morning to move his car for his grandparents and his wang was hangin out of his boxers when his neighbor girl pointed it out

I sleep naked at home, but my parents knock or yell and they dont go ripping my covers off

Supersonic · 01-07-2005, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coppertop

I have this friend. We’ll call him Rob, as that’s his name. Rob is a cool guy, and I love him to death, but he doesn’t visit this site so he won’t know about his story being on here.

Rob used to own a Honda Accord. It was a good little car, serving its purpose well of getting him to and from work, home and school. Now, I don’t know about your particular neck of the woods, but in our area Honda Accords are (or were, as this was several years ago) the number one most popular car to be stolen/broken into.

Rob, being a working college student at the time, never had a lot of money. You could tell this by the condition his car was perpetually in. The interior was littered with schoolbooks, newspapers, old coffee cups - the whole shebang. His car has been broken into numerous times. Enough times, in fact, that the weather seal on the driver’s door was damaged so bad that it made a rather annoying whistling sound as he drove down the highway. His stock speakers in the rear window had been stolen long ago and he now had some rinky dink two dollar speakers back there so he could rock out to The Doors. There was never anything of value inside of this car. His windows not being tinted, anyone who looked into it could see this. Somehow this never prevented people from fucking with his car.

Having had his car broken into so often, he had started to become rather paranoid about the whole deal. So much so, in fact, that he had decided to visit severe physical punishment to the next fellow unlucky enough to be caught in his car.

Late one night he’s asleep in bed when he half wakes up to hearing the family dog barking. Now, the family dog only barks when there’s someone around the house who doesn’t belong. Realizing this in his half conscious state, he peers through the blinds and lo and behold what does he see? The dome light of his car on and a person’s silhouette in it.

He springs from his bed and rushes to the front door. He flips on the porch light, opens the door and bursts outside ready to deliver his unholy wrath upon the poor unsuspecting would-be thief. At the top of his lungs he screams out “Hey!” only to realize at that very moment that no one was in his car.

His dome light was not on. His car was not being broken into at all.

What he saw from his window was his neighbor’s car, across the street. The neighbor had come home late from work and parked on the opposite side of the street from Rob’s car so that Rob’s car was directly between his car and Rob’s window.

Now, you may be wondering where the title of the story comes in. Well, as you may have guessed, Rob sleeps naked. Yes friends, Rob ran outside in all his naked glory to scream at the neighbor. Well, the startled neighbor looks up, and is startled again to see Rob and his wang out on the porch in the chill night air. The neighbor recovers, shakes his head, and goes inside. Rob, mortified, retreats into his house. Soon after, he makes the worst decision of his life and tells his friends about the incident.

But, all is well that ends well. From that night on, whenever the neighbor saw Rob around, he’d give him a smile and wave politely. Rob would always turn a shade paler and look for a hiding spot.

So there you have it, my naked neighbor story.

Oh man, that's a scene you want to see played out on television.

avhg1 · 01-07-2005, 09:32 AM

My wife usually cuts my hair. So, the other day she said she wanted to cut it right after work so that we could go get our family picture taken. At this point, my boys were napping and I was going to wear the same clothes to get the picture taken, so I figured I'd just take them off while she cuts my hair and run and jump in the shower. So, she cuts my hair and gives me the vacuum to clean up. Well, I forgot to look the front door and in walks my mother-in-law to a clear view of me vacuuming in nothing but socks. I didn’t even realize she standing was there until I heard her laughing.

No big deal, because my mother-in-law is really cool.

clavus · 01-07-2005, 09:44 AM

For the record, my name is not "Rob"

JumpinJesus · 01-07-2005, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clavus

For the record, my name is not "Rob"

If you insist, Rob.

lurkette · 01-07-2005, 10:21 AM

I have a friend, Chris, who gets naked as often as possible. We were hot-tubbing naked at another friend's apartment complex one night, and Chris decided that it would be fun to drive home naked. He also drives with his foot out the driver's side window. But I digress. Chris's vehicle at the time, an old Thunderbird, had a tail light out or something and he got pulled over on the way home. Neither he nor the officer made any reference to his nudity - just went on about the interaction like everything was normal. "So you'll uh...get that tail light fixed, right?" "Sure thing officer." "OK, well....drive safely, now." I'm sure in the police records he's now listed as "naked guy."

SteveMcFloyd · 01-07-2005, 10:49 AM

i was hoping it included a girl.

Scorps · 01-07-2005, 12:40 PM

I don't think I would spend time at home nude but in the summer time I walk around without a shirt on....thats as nudes as I get...

neddy65 · 01-07-2005, 04:07 PM

Love to hear nekkid stories. Mine involves parents,siblings,and one crazy Standard Poodle name Muffin.

greytone · 01-07-2005, 06:55 PM

The story was good, but your thread's title was genius. Maybe we could get a theme going regarding naked neighbor stories.

viejo gringo · 01-07-2005, 09:50 PM

We have a nude RV park here in the valley---The sand piper---

it is for senior citizens only---

Man, can you imagine seeing a bunch of old wrinkeled up and saggy people walking around all day---that is enough to give you night mares..

01-06-2005, 01:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	My naked neighbor – a story I have this friend. We’ll call him Rob, as that’s his name. Rob is a cool guy, and I love him to death, but he doesn’t visit this site so he won’t know about his story being on here. Rob used to own a Honda Accord. It was a good little car, serving its purpose well of getting him to and from work, home and school. Now, I don’t know about your particular neck of the woods, but in our area Honda Accords are (or were, as this was several years ago) the number one most popular car to be stolen/broken into. Rob, being a working college student at the time, never had a lot of money. You could tell this by the condition his car was perpetually in. The interior was littered with schoolbooks, newspapers, old coffee cups - the whole shebang. His car has been broken into numerous times. Enough times, in fact, that the weather seal on the driver’s door was damaged so bad that it made a rather annoying whistling sound as he drove down the highway. His stock speakers in the rear window had been stolen long ago and he now had some rinky dink two dollar speakers back there so he could rock out to The Doors. There was never anything of value inside of this car. His windows not being tinted, anyone who looked into it could see this. Somehow this never prevented people from fucking with his car. Having had his car broken into so often, he had started to become rather paranoid about the whole deal. So much so, in fact, that he had decided to visit severe physical punishment to the next fellow unlucky enough to be caught in his car. Late one night he’s asleep in bed when he half wakes up to hearing the family dog barking. Now, the family dog only barks when there’s someone around the house who doesn’t belong. Realizing this in his half conscious state, he peers through the blinds and lo and behold what does he see? The dome light of his car on and a person’s silhouette in it. He springs from his bed and rushes to the front door. He flips on the porch light, opens the door and bursts outside ready to deliver his unholy wrath upon the poor unsuspecting would-be thief. At the top of his lungs he screams out “Hey!” only to realize at that very moment that no one was in his car. His dome light was not on. His car was not being broken into at all. What he saw from his window was his neighbor’s car, across the street. The neighbor had come home late from work and parked on the opposite side of the street from Rob’s car so that Rob’s car was directly between his car and Rob’s window. Now, you may be wondering where the title of the story comes in. Well, as you may have guessed, Rob sleeps naked. Yes friends, Rob ran outside in all his naked glory to scream at the neighbor. Well, the startled neighbor looks up, and is startled again to see Rob and his wang out on the porch in the chill night air. The neighbor recovers, shakes his head, and goes inside. Rob, mortified, retreats into his house. Soon after, he makes the worst decision of his life and tells his friends about the incident. But, all is well that ends well. From that night on, whenever the neighbor saw Rob around, he’d give him a smile and wave politely. Rob would always turn a shade paler and look for a hiding spot. So there you have it, my naked neighbor story.

01-06-2005, 02:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	I thought you might've lived next to Clavus for a second . Even without him, this was funny __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

01-06-2005, 02:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
bendsley Professional Loafer Location: texas	HAHA, that was a great way to lighten my afternoon. Funny stuff. Thanks __________________ "You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

01-06-2005, 02:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
JumpinJesus Junkie Location: Chicago	You told this story well. It was fun to read. My wife and I are naked people. We enjoy being naked and, while we're not always naked, we do tend to walk around sometimes without clothes. We live in a high rise so we typically think nothing of closing our blinds. One reason is because we hate blocking the awesome view we have of the city. One evening, we were out grabbing something to eat. On our way back, we happened to look up at our building from about a block away. It turns out that when our lights are on, you can see very clearly into our apartment, even 13 floors up. And from a block away, you can pretty much see everything. Even more interesting is that this hasn't changed our habits. We've just realized that we're exhibitionists. __________________ "I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

01-06-2005, 03:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	wooo... naked... if i had my own dorm room i would prolly spend a lot more time naked... but ive got a roommate... when i had my own apartment dorm over my first summer i was naked a ton.... i twas way fun __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

01-06-2005, 02:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	Naked stories are always fun. Mr Mephisto

01-06-2005, 03:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Thanks for sharing. That was a great story! __________________

01-06-2005, 07:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
roderickpsu Crazy Location: State College, PA	That's great, serves him right...he should have at least grabbed a baseball bat and he could have used that to cover up his wang.

01-06-2005, 08:23 PM	#10 (permalink)
high_way Addict Location: Australia	HAHA i like that story thanks. i wish i didnt live with my parents so i could sleep naked atleast. i dont dare to because they are both known for bursting in and whipping the covers off when i sleep-in in the morning.. __________________ A stranger is just a friend you havent met yet. Impostor of the imposturous

01-06-2005, 08:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
ehh19 Upright	that was hilarious ... i am currently showing this site to my some of my friends... u just made 9 people practically wet themselves. thanks. thumbs for each of my friends. and i added the lol guy __________________ "A dead Lois?!?" - Stewie "Does this look like a Q to you? ... How 'bout now?" - Quagmire

01-06-2005, 09:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Love the story, knew where it was going though... Unlucky neighbor...

01-06-2005, 11:48 PM	#14 (permalink)
yellowchef Addict Location: Shalimar, FL	hahahahah thats great, a good friend of mine woke up one morning to move his car for his grandparents and his wang was hangin out of his boxers when his neighbor girl pointed it out I sleep naked at home, but my parents knock or yell and they dont go ripping my covers off

01-07-2005, 09:32 AM	#16 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	My wife usually cuts my hair. So, the other day she said she wanted to cut it right after work so that we could go get our family picture taken. At this point, my boys were napping and I was going to wear the same clothes to get the picture taken, so I figured I'd just take them off while she cuts my hair and run and jump in the shower. So, she cuts my hair and gives me the vacuum to clean up. Well, I forgot to look the front door and in walks my mother-in-law to a clear view of me vacuuming in nothing but socks. I didn’t even realize she standing was there until I heard her laughing. No big deal, because my mother-in-law is really cool. __________________ I shake the devil's hand daily... I'd do it hourly, but my hand gets tired.

01-07-2005, 09:44 AM	#17 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	For the record, my name is not "Rob" __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

01-07-2005, 10:21 AM	#19 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I have a friend, Chris, who gets naked as often as possible. We were hot-tubbing naked at another friend's apartment complex one night, and Chris decided that it would be fun to drive home naked. He also drives with his foot out the driver's side window. But I digress. Chris's vehicle at the time, an old Thunderbird, had a tail light out or something and he got pulled over on the way home. Neither he nor the officer made any reference to his nudity - just went on about the interaction like everything was normal. "So you'll uh...get that tail light fixed, right?" "Sure thing officer." "OK, well....drive safely, now." I'm sure in the police records he's now listed as "naked guy." __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

01-07-2005, 10:49 AM	#20 (permalink)
SteveMcFloyd Upright	i was hoping it included a girl.

01-07-2005, 12:40 PM	#21 (permalink)
Scorps Lost!! Location: Kingston, Ontario	I don't think I would spend time at home nude but in the summer time I walk around without a shirt on....thats as nudes as I get...

01-07-2005, 04:07 PM	#22 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	Love to hear nekkid stories. Mine involves parents,siblings,and one crazy Standard Poodle name Muffin. __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

01-07-2005, 06:55 PM	#23 (permalink)
greytone Junkie	The story was good, but your thread's title was genius. Maybe we could get a theme going regarding naked neighbor stories. __________________ I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing. Robert A Heinlein in "They Do It With Mirrors"

01-07-2005, 09:50 PM	#24 (permalink)
viejo gringo Registered User Location: Deep South Texas	We have a nude RV park here in the valley---The sand piper--- it is for senior citizens only--- Man, can you imagine seeing a bunch of old wrinkeled up and saggy people walking around all day---that is enough to give you night mares..