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Old 01-06-2005, 01:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: 13th century Europe
My naked neighbor – a story

I have this friend. We’ll call him Rob, as that’s his name. Rob is a cool guy, and I love him to death, but he doesn’t visit this site so he won’t know about his story being on here.

Rob used to own a Honda Accord. It was a good little car, serving its purpose well of getting him to and from work, home and school. Now, I don’t know about your particular neck of the woods, but in our area Honda Accords are (or were, as this was several years ago) the number one most popular car to be stolen/broken into.

Rob, being a working college student at the time, never had a lot of money. You could tell this by the condition his car was perpetually in. The interior was littered with schoolbooks, newspapers, old coffee cups - the whole shebang. His car has been broken into numerous times. Enough times, in fact, that the weather seal on the driver’s door was damaged so bad that it made a rather annoying whistling sound as he drove down the highway. His stock speakers in the rear window had been stolen long ago and he now had some rinky dink two dollar speakers back there so he could rock out to The Doors. There was never anything of value inside of this car. His windows not being tinted, anyone who looked into it could see this. Somehow this never prevented people from fucking with his car.

Having had his car broken into so often, he had started to become rather paranoid about the whole deal. So much so, in fact, that he had decided to visit severe physical punishment to the next fellow unlucky enough to be caught in his car.

Late one night he’s asleep in bed when he half wakes up to hearing the family dog barking. Now, the family dog only barks when there’s someone around the house who doesn’t belong. Realizing this in his half conscious state, he peers through the blinds and lo and behold what does he see? The dome light of his car on and a person’s silhouette in it.

He springs from his bed and rushes to the front door. He flips on the porch light, opens the door and bursts outside ready to deliver his unholy wrath upon the poor unsuspecting would-be thief. At the top of his lungs he screams out “Hey!” only to realize at that very moment that no one was in his car.

His dome light was not on. His car was not being broken into at all.

What he saw from his window was his neighbor’s car, across the street. The neighbor had come home late from work and parked on the opposite side of the street from Rob’s car so that Rob’s car was directly between his car and Rob’s window.

Now, you may be wondering where the title of the story comes in. Well, as you may have guessed, Rob sleeps naked. Yes friends, Rob ran outside in all his naked glory to scream at the neighbor. Well, the startled neighbor looks up, and is startled again to see Rob and his wang out on the porch in the chill night air. The neighbor recovers, shakes his head, and goes inside. Rob, mortified, retreats into his house. Soon after, he makes the worst decision of his life and tells his friends about the incident.

But, all is well that ends well. From that night on, whenever the neighbor saw Rob around, he’d give him a smile and wave politely. Rob would always turn a shade paler and look for a hiding spot.

So there you have it, my naked neighbor story.
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Old 01-06-2005, 02:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I thought you might've lived next to Clavus for a second .

Even without him, this was funny
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Old 01-06-2005, 02:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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HAHA, that was a great way to lighten my afternoon. Funny stuff.

Thanks
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Old 01-06-2005, 02:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Naked stories are always fun.

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Old 01-06-2005, 02:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
You told this story well. It was fun to read.

My wife and I are naked people. We enjoy being naked and, while we're not always naked, we do tend to walk around sometimes without clothes.

We live in a high rise so we typically think nothing of closing our blinds. One reason is because we hate blocking the awesome view we have of the city. One evening, we were out grabbing something to eat. On our way back, we happened to look up at our building from about a block away. It turns out that when our lights are on, you can see very clearly into our apartment, even 13 floors up. And from a block away, you can pretty much see everything.

Even more interesting is that this hasn't changed our habits. We've just realized that we're exhibitionists.
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Old 01-06-2005, 03:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
wooo... naked...

if i had my own dorm room i would prolly spend a lot more time naked... but ive got a roommate...

when i had my own apartment dorm over my first summer i was naked a ton.... i twas way fun
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Old 01-06-2005, 03:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for sharing. That was a great story!
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Old 01-06-2005, 05:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
rat
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Location: College Station, TX
nudity and mistaken identity. the makings of any modern classic
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To say that I was naked, when I broke in would be a lie. I put on safety glasses.
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Old 01-06-2005, 07:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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That's great, serves him right...he should have at least grabbed a baseball bat and he could have used that to cover up his wang.
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Old 01-06-2005, 08:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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HAHA i like that story thanks. i wish i didnt live with my parents so i could sleep naked atleast. i dont dare to because they are both known for bursting in and whipping the covers off when i sleep-in in the morning..
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Old 01-06-2005, 08:45 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JumpinJesus
You told this story well. It was fun to read.

My wife and I are naked people. We enjoy being naked and, while we're not always naked, we do tend to walk around sometimes without clothes.

We live in a high rise so we typically think nothing of closing our blinds. One reason is because we hate blocking the awesome view we have of the city. One evening, we were out grabbing something to eat. On our way back, we happened to look up at our building from about a block away. It turns out that when our lights are on, you can see very clearly into our apartment, even 13 floors up. And from a block away, you can pretty much see everything.

Even more interesting is that this hasn't changed our habits. We've just realized that we're exhibitionists.
Like the old joke about the elderly lady who called the cops because her neighbor was visibly naked in his house.

The cop comes, looks out her window, and says, "Lady, all I can see is that house two blocks away."

She says, "Of course. You have to stand on this chair and use these binoculars."
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Old 01-06-2005, 08:58 PM   #12 (permalink)
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that was hilarious ... i am currently showing this site to my some of my friends... u just made 9 people practically wet themselves. thanks. thumbs for each of my friends. and i added the lol guy
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Old 01-06-2005, 09:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Love the story, knew where it was going though... Unlucky neighbor...
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Old 01-06-2005, 11:48 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Shalimar, FL
hahahahah thats great, a good friend of mine woke up one morning to move his car for his grandparents and his wang was hangin out of his boxers when his neighbor girl pointed it out

I sleep naked at home, but my parents knock or yell and they dont go ripping my covers off
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Old 01-07-2005, 12:03 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coppertop
I have this friend. We’ll call him Rob, as that’s his name. Rob is a cool guy, and I love him to death, but he doesn’t visit this site so he won’t know about his story being on here.

Rob used to own a Honda Accord. It was a good little car, serving its purpose well of getting him to and from work, home and school. Now, I don’t know about your particular neck of the woods, but in our area Honda Accords are (or were, as this was several years ago) the number one most popular car to be stolen/broken into.

Rob, being a working college student at the time, never had a lot of money. You could tell this by the condition his car was perpetually in. The interior was littered with schoolbooks, newspapers, old coffee cups - the whole shebang. His car has been broken into numerous times. Enough times, in fact, that the weather seal on the driver’s door was damaged so bad that it made a rather annoying whistling sound as he drove down the highway. His stock speakers in the rear window had been stolen long ago and he now had some rinky dink two dollar speakers back there so he could rock out to The Doors. There was never anything of value inside of this car. His windows not being tinted, anyone who looked into it could see this. Somehow this never prevented people from fucking with his car.

Having had his car broken into so often, he had started to become rather paranoid about the whole deal. So much so, in fact, that he had decided to visit severe physical punishment to the next fellow unlucky enough to be caught in his car.

Late one night he’s asleep in bed when he half wakes up to hearing the family dog barking. Now, the family dog only barks when there’s someone around the house who doesn’t belong. Realizing this in his half conscious state, he peers through the blinds and lo and behold what does he see? The dome light of his car on and a person’s silhouette in it.

He springs from his bed and rushes to the front door. He flips on the porch light, opens the door and bursts outside ready to deliver his unholy wrath upon the poor unsuspecting would-be thief. At the top of his lungs he screams out “Hey!” only to realize at that very moment that no one was in his car.

His dome light was not on. His car was not being broken into at all.

What he saw from his window was his neighbor’s car, across the street. The neighbor had come home late from work and parked on the opposite side of the street from Rob’s car so that Rob’s car was directly between his car and Rob’s window.

Now, you may be wondering where the title of the story comes in. Well, as you may have guessed, Rob sleeps naked. Yes friends, Rob ran outside in all his naked glory to scream at the neighbor. Well, the startled neighbor looks up, and is startled again to see Rob and his wang out on the porch in the chill night air. The neighbor recovers, shakes his head, and goes inside. Rob, mortified, retreats into his house. Soon after, he makes the worst decision of his life and tells his friends about the incident.

But, all is well that ends well. From that night on, whenever the neighbor saw Rob around, he’d give him a smile and wave politely. Rob would always turn a shade paler and look for a hiding spot.

So there you have it, my naked neighbor story.
Oh man, that's a scene you want to see played out on television.
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Old 01-07-2005, 09:32 AM   #16 (permalink)
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My wife usually cuts my hair. So, the other day she said she wanted to cut it right after work so that we could go get our family picture taken. At this point, my boys were napping and I was going to wear the same clothes to get the picture taken, so I figured I'd just take them off while she cuts my hair and run and jump in the shower. So, she cuts my hair and gives me the vacuum to clean up. Well, I forgot to look the front door and in walks my mother-in-law to a clear view of me vacuuming in nothing but socks. I didn’t even realize she standing was there until I heard her laughing. No big deal, because my mother-in-law is really cool.
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Old 01-07-2005, 09:44 AM   #17 (permalink)
pow!
 
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For the record, my name is not "Rob"
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Old 01-07-2005, 09:55 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clavus
For the record, my name is not "Rob"
If you insist, Rob.
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Old 01-07-2005, 10:21 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I have a friend, Chris, who gets naked as often as possible. We were hot-tubbing naked at another friend's apartment complex one night, and Chris decided that it would be fun to drive home naked. He also drives with his foot out the driver's side window. But I digress. Chris's vehicle at the time, an old Thunderbird, had a tail light out or something and he got pulled over on the way home. Neither he nor the officer made any reference to his nudity - just went on about the interaction like everything was normal. "So you'll uh...get that tail light fixed, right?" "Sure thing officer." "OK, well....drive safely, now." I'm sure in the police records he's now listed as "naked guy."
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Old 01-07-2005, 10:49 AM   #20 (permalink)
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i was hoping it included a girl.
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Old 01-07-2005, 12:40 PM   #21 (permalink)
Lost!!
 
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Location: Kingston, Ontario
I don't think I would spend time at home nude but in the summer time I walk around without a shirt on....thats as nudes as I get...
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Old 01-07-2005, 04:07 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round
Love to hear nekkid stories. Mine involves parents,siblings,and one crazy Standard Poodle name Muffin.
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Old 01-07-2005, 06:55 PM   #23 (permalink)
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The story was good, but your thread's title was genius. Maybe we could get a theme going regarding naked neighbor stories.
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Old 01-07-2005, 09:50 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Location: Deep South Texas
We have a nude RV park here in the valley---The sand piper---

it is for senior citizens only---

Man, can you imagine seeing a bunch of old wrinkeled up and saggy people walking around all day---that is enough to give you night mares..
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