Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-20-2004, 02:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
Life's short, gotta hurry...
 
Grancey's Avatar
 
Location: land of pit vipers
Another tender Alabama Christmas...

It’s been a nice close-to-Christmas day here in Alabama. The exterminator showed up early this morning. He’s new. “Johnny” was our former exterminator. Johnny was polite. Johnny would call the night before to let us know he was coming by. But this new guy (don’t know his name yet) just shows up, rings the doorbell and gets to work. The dogs start barking and let me know he is here. We will adjust to this “new guy”.

We had a Christmas gift mail delivery today also. I heard a car door shut, and I looked outside and saw the UPS gentleman approaching the door with a package. The packages I have ordered are not being delivered by UPS, so I knew this was probably a package that my husband had ordered. Therefore, it was probably a package for me. The young man rang the doorbell and immediately started back to his vehicle, a red pick-up truck. I thought that they must be so busy that UPS workers are using private vehicles now? I opened the door and saw that the package had been placed at the side of the door, and the young man had moved one of our small wooden deer that stands on the front porch and had carefully placed the deer in front of the package, probably to obscure the presence of a package sitting outside. How nice and thoughtful of that young man. I brought the package inside and seeing that it was indeed addressed to my husband, I placed it on the desk without examining it further, not wanting to possibly spoil any Christmas surprises for me.

Last night my husband and I were shopping, and I found some Christmas cards that I adored. I was hesitant to make an unnecessary purchase, but my husband encouraged me to go ahead and buy the cards. He said we would pack them away very carefully, and I would have them for next year. Today, I was looking at the cards, and not wanting to wait for next year. I sent out more cards to other friends and relatives who I thought might appreciate a little Christmas cheer.

Later in the afternoon the dogs and I ventured into the cold, windy winter afternoon. The two of them scurried about like our friendly rabbits, Dustin Hoppman and Dennis Hopper, who live and play in our yard. I was selecting magnolia leaves for a new wreath, when I looked up and saw a neighbor pushing a baby buggy down the sidewalk with a large dog in attendance. One of my poodles started to growl, so I herded them together next to me, and held one of them by the collar as the neighbor began to walk by. She must have noticed my predicament, for when I looked up I saw that she had moved off of the sidewalk to the other side of the street. I apologized to her for the rude behavior of my two little ones. She waved and responded with, “That’s okay. I have three of them”. How nice of this woman, I thought. She doesn’t even know me, but she wanted to help. My two quickly finished their business and we went back inside, not wanting to lollygag on such a blustery day.

I turned the lights on the Christmas tree, not wanting to wait until dark. It’s nice and warm to have the lights on when I walk into the room. My cats were up to their normal antics, chasing each other up and down the upstairs hallway, sounding more like horses just out of the starting gate, than two furry frisky felines. The kitchen was chilly, so I turned on the gas heater and decided to prepare a small lunch. I chose my easy crunchy peanut butter on light bread with a sliced banana on the side. My husband compares this to prison food, but I think it is perfect. With my lunch and a diet Pepsi in hand, I went through the house stopping to check the batteries in the mantle garland and in the wreath on the door. Noticing that both sets of batteries needed recharging, I made a mental note to tell my husband when he came home. He is very good at recharging batteries.

Our house was full this past weekend with family together for birthdays and Christmas. It’s nice to see everybody, but sometimes you reach a point………… Since time with family was spent displaying my smile to the unruly children and the pets they insist on bringing which necessitates my securing my two pouty felines in the bedroom and away from their runway, I had not had a chance to peruse TFP in the last few days. The house was warming up, and I was feeling toasty, so I snagged a bite of Tipsy cake and sat down for some nonsensical entertainment.

I made a post about Christmas parties and, then I wandered to my favorite, Nonsense. Participating in these games is fun, but scrolling through and catching a glimmer of someone’s train of thought is even more fun at times. Thinking about “leftist productive thought” and listening to the cat purring behind my head, it happened. As they and others say at times…..All Hell Broke Loose.

CLANG…CLANG…CLANG….CLANG….CLANG…CLANNNNNNNGG…..BUMMA GOO BUMMA GOO CHICHA BA CHICHA BA ROODA ROODA ROODA ROODA ROODA ROODA ROODA WAHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN

It was quite obvious to me that either a 273 pound squirrel was playing Tarzan or a fully equipped armored vehicle with a cracked engine block was coming down the street. And then it got quiet, for just a teasingly minute second. Then it happened. The squirrel or the residents of the busted hummer had all at the same time or it sounded, turned on every faucet in the house. The dogs, by this time, were in yippy yip yip heaven, and the cats were back in the bag. I jumped up and ran to the middle of the house……it sounded like a waterfall, somewhere…….Downstairs to the laundry room….more rushing water noise….nothing. Bravely into the depths of the garage…..nothing. I stopped, listening for a clue. Where, oh where could this waterfall be. Back upstairs into the kitchen. The dogs looked at me accusingly. Yeah, right. The neighborhood was so quiet that moment except for the sound of the water. I opened the kitchen door, and then it hit me, sort of. The water was pouring out of a pipe running under the deck.

My brother, handy type person that he is, had constructed a series of pipes running under the deck to make it easier to water the plants. This construction consists of 5 faucets in different locations. The first faucet when turned, located directly above the waterfall, made no impact. It must be in back. I hurried down the wooden steps, typically slippery when iced over, as fast as I could and headed for the back of the house wondering if my neighbor was watching the show out her kitchen window. The pipe things sticking out of the back of the house had three faucets attached. I tried turning them all off, and nothing happened. The one remaining faucet was directly above me, accessible only from the kitchen, So, back to the kitchen door, and out the other door onto a small deck area and to the one remaining faucet. I turned…nothing happened. What the hell do I do now?

My options were to call a plumber….too expensive. My husband…..at work, a 50 minute drive. Or, my brother….at his home, 4 blocks away with a year old baby and a litany of why the hell didn’t you drain the pipes? I opted for my husband. Dialing his cell, I listened as the water bill went up and up. No answer. Great. I go outside one more time to just look, I guess. Maybe some good Samaritan walking down the street or the ice cream man would stop and offer assistance. Yeah, right. Now I’m thinking, why do these things always happen to me. Especially when I’m minding my own damn business. I go back inside and ponder the inevitable. I will have to call my brother. Then my cell rings. It’s the husband. Where are you, I ask. At work….duh. I then calmly explain that pipes have busted and how do I turn off the water. He wants to know where the pipe is busted. Under the deck, I tell him. Then he tells me to go to the back of the house. I told him that I did that, and when I tried to turn the water off nothing happened. He said the main turn-off would be there and to go back again. I complain that there are three faucets and I don’t know which one. He said it would be the one closest to the house. And in typical female fashion, I ask him….which color. Yeah, a very long pause on the phone. There is now an ice rink forming in the driveway. Maybe the noise I heard was a Zamboni? At the back of the house are three faucets. There is a pipe coming out of the house and a pipe going up. He said it would be the faucet on the pipe coming out of the house. I turn it, nothing. Try it again, he says. I did. Well, this time, I turned it the other way, to the right which I assumed would be turning the water on. Nah. Right is off? And left is on? Since when? I give up. The water’s off. Disaster under control. Oh, and my husband? You know what he said? Guess I should have drained that pipe……………
__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.
Grancey is offline  
Old 12-20-2004, 03:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
Easy Rider
 
flstf's Avatar
 
Location: Moscow on the Ohio
Grancey, I enjoyed your post very much. I am starting to get into the spirit of the season. Sitting here in my den four deer just ran by not 10 feet from my window. They say it may snow later this week. Happy Holidays.
flstf is offline  
Old 12-20-2004, 03:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
Chef in Training
 
Lefty loosey, Righty tighty. Ready for skating in the drive now?
__________________
"We are supposed to be masters of space, but we cant even line up our shoes?"

One life, one chance, one opportunity.
Ripsaw is offline  
Old 12-20-2004, 05:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
Fremen's Avatar
 
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'm worried about that package.
Did you confirm it was from your husband, Grancey?
__________________
Google
Fremen is offline  
Old 12-20-2004, 07:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
What do you need to exterminate?
Faygo is offline  
Old 12-20-2004, 09:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
In Your Dreams
 
Latch's Avatar
 
Location: City of Lights
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fremen
Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'm worried about that package.
Did you confirm it was from your husband, Grancey?
Me too!

Bad luck with the water pipes.. at least you'll never forget to drain them again!
Latch is offline  
Old 12-21-2004, 11:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
Life's short, gotta hurry...
 
Grancey's Avatar
 
Location: land of pit vipers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fremen
Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'm worried about that package.
Did you confirm it was from your husband, Grancey?
Not being paranoid at all. But in this instance my husband told me that a package would be arriving that day, so I was expecting it.
__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.
Grancey is offline  
Old 12-21-2004, 11:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
Life's short, gotta hurry...
 
Grancey's Avatar
 
Location: land of pit vipers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faygo
What do you need to exterminate?
In Alabama our winters are usually quite mild, so roaches, ants, spiders and other insects that I do not want inside the house do not die during the winter. If it gets cold, they move indoors. Therefore, some people have a monthly or quarterly contract with an exterminator to keep watch over the invaders.
__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.
Grancey is offline  
Old 12-22-2004, 04:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Wherever I am!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripsaw
Lefty loosey, Righty tighty. Ready for skating in the drive now?
I'll bring my hockey gear as long as you can find a target, er, um , I mean Goalie!
__________________
If ignorance is bliss, then wipe this smile off my face!
Hard8s is offline  
Old 12-22-2004, 05:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
Twitterpated
 
Suave's Avatar
 
Location: My own little world (also Canada)
I love the names of the rabbits.
__________________
"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato
Suave is offline  
 

Tags
alabama, christmas, tender

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:03 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360