Have yourself a Jerry-Springer Christmas…
 

I started to reply to Shani, but realized I was thread jacking. This is the thread for your fucked-up, bad-Santa stories. Here's mine -
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December 25 may or may not be the actual birth date of Jesus, but there is no doubt about the fact that it’s Mike’s birthday. The ledger at the county jail confirms the date and time he popped out of his incarcerated mother.

Mike was my best friend since first grade. After we graduated, we went to college hundreds of miles away from one another. And when we returned for Christmas break, we had a lot of catching up to do. When I say, “catching up” what I mean is “getting loaded and trying to get laid” This was especially true on his birthday.

I’m not sure how we escaped the clutches of our respective families on Christmas eve, but at midnight we found ourselves in a shitty little bar in the shitty little town we once called home. And we got shitty. I couldn’t drink enough to make anybody in the bar good looking, but Mike chatted up a 40-something red-head with big tits and tired eyes.

After we had a good buzz on, we tried to sneak back into my house to grab my marijuana. My 16-year-old sister caught us, and in exchange for her silence, we allowed her to come with us to get high. It gets a little fuzzy at this point, but somehow the three of us ended up at the home of the redhead.

At the time, it was hilarious. But in hindsight, it was Jerry-Springer-pathetic: My sister, who would later die from complications arising from heroin and late-term abortions, getting messy drunk and throwing up everywhere; Mike, who would soon become an alcoholic, falling into the Christmas tree, crushing presents; The redhead, coming onto a guy young enough to be her son.

In the early morning hours, we left Mike and the redhead. I smuggled my sister back home. She was too drunk to be quiet, and soon there were a lot of underwear-clad family members yelling and crying. I faded into the background, or maybe I just blacked out. I don’t know.

Nobody had a magical christmas morning.

I ran into the redhead’s son a few times over the next week, but I never said a word to him. I wonder where he was on Christmas Eve. Does he realize that my best friend fucked his mom?

wow... chicago here you come...

just kiding..

yeah thats prety amasing..

but i dont think jerry would have ya.. to "normal"...

You don't see Christmas carols written about that kinda experience! Hmm... maybe we should write one...

My youthful christmases made great fodder for creative writing classes in community college. My father had a tendency to get drunk and make scenes, puke up a lot of cheap wine and piss in the sink. He fought with my mother and made drunken accusations while decorating the tree. He would make holidays extra special by drinking even more, to the point of becoming maudlin and morose while we were trying to maintain christmas cheer. He'd pass out smoking a cigarette and start fires. One year he lost his temper and threw the table full of christmas dinner onto the tree. That really ruined everything.

A documented cougar attack.

another one of clavus' amazing stories, sad but true. never had a fucked up christmas like that one, but I have a feeling that this year might top out my shit list.

YA! That's what I'm talking about. Did he ever set your tree on fire?

No but one year we woke up on christmas morning and found that one of the little cypress-type shrubs on either side of our front walkway outside had been reduced to a blackened skeleton. :)

I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real the year he and my mother got into a screaming fight late at night on christmas eve...I went downstairs to make sure they weren't killing each other and caught them wrapping the presents from "Santa." That pretty much sucked too.

my story ain't much compared to some of these others but....

my dad's side of the family always gets together a week before Christmas to celebrate. My grandma had recently remarried and a few people from my new grandpa's side of the family showed up also. I'm not sure exactly how it started, but one of my aunts and one of my grandpa's relatives got into an argument and everything escalated from there. Somebody from my grandpa's side of the family ended up slapping my grandma in the face....which seems outrageous, considering what a sweet little lady she is. My grandpa then proceeded to scream at them from the front porch as they left, telling them they weren't welcome anymore.

At the time, I remember using the term 'Jerry Springer Christmas', so it seemed appropriate to post.

See, that's funny because from where I sit, your story sounds just outrageous. It just goes to show how children accept what they grew up with as "normal" I guess. I can't imagine anyone ever slapping my grandmother! :eek: