ShaniFaye

can you beat my interesting nite last nite? (yes this is long...sorry bout that, I just really need to tell this story)

So ok....a little background for those of you that dont know details I've told in the past

Married in 1990, hubby and I seperated in 1999--we had a house, a business, mega financial debt, and a great child. We agreed that until and unless we found a S/O that we wanted to commit to there was no reason to get a divorce as we were still best friends..we had just grown apart in our marriage. We both dated...he met a girl in 2000 that he's been with since....I met Dave September of 2003. Now we all live together in the same house, its cheaper for everybody involved and things like this only happen about once every 2 months....divorce is being filed for because Dave and I are getting married...no problems on that front at all...the problem is with soon to be ex hubbys g/f...who is a crack whore...and thats putting it nicely. I could go on forever on what she has stolen from the house, from me, from Dave....the amount of money and forged checks could pay my mortgage for a few months.

Cops have been called in the past...the woman has been caught by the cops with a hot crack pipe and let go, got caught shoplifting at walmart, or rather got caught with receipts she'd found..gone and picked up those items in the store and then tried to "return" them for the cash. She got put on probation but it was never enforced and the charges were dropped a year later. She has 3 kids that were taken away from her because DFACS was called when she left them alone (they were between the ages of 2-10) in a crack hotel...but damn it "she loves her kids" yeah right. These are only a few examples of the last 1 1/2 years. I am convinced that this woman has sold her soul to the devil, its the only thing that can explain everything she has gotten away with.

I said she lived in my house....thats not exactly right....its more of a hotel for her, a place she can come and shower and leave cigarette burns on the counters and tub and grace us by allowing us to see her concentration camp physique cause she thinks she's so hot that we are just dying to see all the infected sores on her naked body as she goes from the bathroom to a bedroom. Oh and a place that she used to use as her personal supply of things to take to a pawn shop, until we started locking everything up.

now to get to the reason for my post....

She and hubby had a major falling out over the last two days about her lack of respect of the house rules and her whoring for her crack money and the 200 dollars of "santa" money that disappeared when him and her were the only ones in the house. Normally I stay out of their arguments....Dave and I have both told him she was allowing the lucky men of norcross to pay her for her oozing talents but he has some "thing" in his head that he's gonna get her off of it and turn her back into the person she was 3 years ago before she was tied down and crackpipe was superglued to her lips (metaphorically speaking). Anyway...

Im sitting at home alone yesterday afternoon around 5:30...he's gone to get something to eat, Dave is working overtime and hasnt gotten home yet, so I'm online chatting with friends....posting on my board....reading TFP and watching the last Karate Kid movie...just generally enjoying the quite of the house, when out on the the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter.....

A car had come racing down my gravel driveway...locking up the brakes so it skidded the whole 75 feet, missing my car by 1 inch (yes I measured). I hear banging on the back door (which leads into my laundry room). I get up walk to the laundry room to find a man I've never before seen in my life hollering for soon to be ex hubby to get his ass out there so that he can kick it for him. Shocked would not be a word that adequately describes how I was...but it will suffice. I back him out of the laundry room, outside to the driveway where I am confronted by another concentration camp hottie where they inform me, and the entire neighborhood they are looking for "the fucking whore bitch" and my soon to be ex.

I, with more politeness than Jesus would have had, ask them if they see his vehicle there? When they say no I explain that it must mean HE'S NOT FUCKING HERE and ask them to leave. They proceed to regale me with the fact that Miss AmericaCrackWhore has stolen money from them and that ex to be called them making terrorist threats, and they expected me to care. Meanwhile Osama Bin Steve calls to ask if I want anything from the store where I proceed to hold the phone out for him to hear the converstation going on. He says he'll call the cops and be right home and tell me where he has put the gun.

So me, the lady, as evidenced by 1st runner up crackwhore yelling it in my face, is standing there, still quietly asking them to keep it down and that I have no interest in what they are saying as none of it concerns me, but that it does concern me that they are making a specticale of themselves.

The cops finally show up with Osama Bin Steve behind them but he doesnt pull up to the house. He leaves it to me to deal with Gwinnett County's finest and tell them how these nice people accidentally found themselves in the laundry room of a woman they've never seen. I explain to the cops, he goes to talk to the man, who says he has voice recordings of Osama Bin Steve making terroristic threats against him (which turns out to mainly be him saying he was going to "get him" because he wouldnt tell Steve where the crackwhore was with the money she'd stolen).

By this time its dark....and its cold....I ask if they are done with me and can I go in the house...nope Im not allowed...so I ask if I can put on a coat...Sure Ma'am but you have to let us search it first. Now, while I DO understand that they want to make sure I have no WMD in my pockets it still pissed me off since Im not the one that was doing anything wrong.

1st runner up is still trying to get in my face while the cops are dealing with that guy and soon to be ex, telling me that Im a sick woman for letting Miss ACW in my house and that I dont understand what its like to have things stolen by her. Mother Theresa would have been proud of my patience as I explained to her that #1 if she hadnt been a "sick woman" and let Miss ACW in her house nothing would have been stolen and #2 That Miss ACW had stolen more from me than the good lord would ever see fit to let her own.

In the end the cops gave me a criminal trespass warrant on them and ordered them off the property and 1st runner up drove away with her escort (you'd think it was midnite cause their lovely vehicle turned into a pumpkin that took 3 times to start to be able to leave). When they are all gone and I can finally not be putting up a brave front I start crying and ask Osama Steve if he has Jerry Springers phone number.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Hash_Browns

Oh my goodness!! I'm glad that you are ok, but that's a lot to have to handle for one chicka! I don't even know what that had to be like, but I hope that Miss ACW is not longer allowed in your home. Obviously you were able to deal with the happenings of the house, but this is not your job, to be on partol for the rest of the people she steals from. I'm willing to bet that the man and woman that showed up weren't able to give every detail as to why they were there and what exactly they wanted out of it all, and I'm sure if they had the guts to do this once, they will continue to push the line and that quite frankly would scare me to pieces! I am not trying to freak anyone out, just being honest, those are NOT the kind of people I'd want having access to my address, vehicles and the place my child is being raised! I hope someone (steve?) gets in her face and makes sure this business gets taken care of. For your sake and your families!! That is just some plain freaking stupidity! Congrats on the engagement (I didn't realize all the details ) And I hope that everything will be said and done very soon!

__________________
Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

ShaniFaye

One of the house "rules" all along with her being around is that NONE of her "friends" could come over....ever, because crackheads are unstable ha ha ha...

just a sideline....while some people might want to frown on me for this....my soon to be ex mother in law (who is a GREAT woman and loves Dave these days more than her own son and wants to adopt him so that when we get married she can still be my mother in law hehehe) lives next door....due to the "activities" at the house for the last year and a half...my daughter sleeps up there...even though at age 11 she knows whats going on...Im scared to death that this exact kind of thing will happen while she is there.

She has a very busy schedule between her dance, art, and piano classes but she is with me in the afternoons that she's home, then she sleeps at grandma's. Fortunately yesterday she had both her dance and pointe class and wasnt anywhere around.

I wish I could say that Miss ACW wont be around but I know I cant. Once Dave is out of his debt counseling program (to pay off credit cards his last g/f ran up) he and I will be able to move out and get our own place far away from the drama

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Bill O'Rights

Oh, so...a slow night, then.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

ShaniFaye

Yeah lol, definately slower than the few times I've been forced into physcial restraining her in my front yard until the cops showed up.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Hash_Browns

Shani, I just have to say, everyone had their own way of handling things, the fact that she 'sleeps' at grandma's to me says you just want what you think is best, and so be it! If it works for you guys, who the heck am I to say Nay?? As for the moving, that's awesome! I hope all goes well in the end for you

__________________
Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

avhg1

Wow and I thought my older son running around taking ornaments off the tree and breaking them when ever I had my back turned was a wild night. Forget Jerry, have you be on Cops yet?

__________________
I shake the devil's hand daily... I'd do it hourly, but my hand gets tired.

BonesCPA

I love the holiday theme of your post, well a Springer holiday theme.

All I can say of the situation is that if you didn't have time like these, you wouldn't realize how good things are when they are good. A good steak tastes just that much better after you've had meatloaf (my apologies to the meatloaf lovers out there.)

Here's to hoping that you don't wake up to Miss ACW under the xmas tree.

__________________
Back into hibernation.

Lebell

Er, wow.

You are right with the "Jerry Springer" theme.

__________________
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU!

Please Donate!

Fremen

You're a good person, ShaniFaye.

*me hugs Shani*

__________________
Google

ShaniFaye

WELL...I didnt expect a compliment out of that whole rant....thanks for giving me my first real smile of the day

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

ratbastid

I'm with Fremen. It's how we deal with adversity that defines us, and--though it's not news to me or many others here--you are one strong, powerful, amazing person.

absorbentishe

Not sure whether to laugh, or cry? Just sucks you're in the middle of a lot of shit. Hopefully she'll be a speed bump on the road of life...

ShaniFaye

Last nite I was crying...today Im laughing (kind of lol). I've always said she can smoke crack in front of a cop and nothing happens but I could go take a piss in the middle of the main highway thru town and they would throw me under the jail for the rest of my life. I know she'll get hers in time.....karma and all that....but damn just ONCE I'd like to see her actually get punished.

Thanks Ratbastid, I dont always feel that way, but being reminded of it helps me pick myself up by the bootstraps and quit whining.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Stick

My system for dealing with drug fucks doesn't work for everybody, but here goes. A friends brother started stealing from and hassling his own mother for drug money. We broke both his arms and legs. He behaved himself after the casts came off.

__________________
ominous adj.
Menacing; threatening. Of or being an omen, especially an evil one.

vox_rox

Bad gitls, bad girls, whatcha gonna do...whatcha gonna do when they come for you!

Yup, sounds like an episode. Kudos for you for trying (and succeeding it sounds like) to take the high road with these freaks.

Methinks you should rethink your living arangements, and the ex, and his, um, girl, should leave the house, perhaps even the city, or even the State would be good. They can be nothing but problems for you, and it sure doesn'y lool like they're taking any steps to address them.

Boot up the arse, and out they go. I feel bad for Shani, you don't seserve this.

Pierre

__________________
---
There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
---

ShaniFaye

Stick...last time I tried to restrain her from leaving the house with my money she tried to call the cops for assault...so Im no good at your strategy lol

vox rox...the only problem I have with making them leave is my concious (sp?) The land our house is on is land his parents gave us when we got married so we'd have property to build our own house on when we got ready....I dont feel right in taking the house. Things were honsetly ok with everybody being there until she developed the problem...he was with her for a long time before that came about. Im even giving up the house in the divorce...Dave and I want to get a place farther away from Atlanta, and away from mexicanville (no offense to any ethnic people....I just cant stand living in Norcross anymore where Im one of the few english speaking white women left).

I always try to find the good in people....but Im quickly learning that crack addicts are smoking up any good in them that might be there.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

animosity

wow... wow... You handle that a lot better than I would have. The first thing I do is grab my knife and/or sword when I hear banging around.

Glad to hear it worked out ok, kudos to you for being so level headed.

vox_rox

Hey look, you just solved your own dliemma. Okay, it's not going to be one of those Bewitched "wiggle your nose" and it's done. But there you have it.

Move. Pack up, find a place to live in an area that YOU WANT to live, and take a hike. His/Her/Their problem is not your problem, even though you are allowing yourself to believe it. Go. Now. Let them figure it out.

That way, you and Dave can be happy, there's no more guilt about who owns what, you wont have to padlock your cupboards, and you can actually move forward based on accomplishments.

Do it, it will be empowering and symboic of the break you should actually have made when you first split up. Make it real, live your life and, most importantly, to your own self be true.

You can do it, and I think you know you can do it. Imagine the possibilities.

Easy? Not really. Rewarding? Absolutely.

Peace,

Pierre

__________________
---
There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
---

ShaniFaye

animosity I have to admit one of the main things stopping me from going the sword/dagger route is that we got them all out of the house and stored with his sister after Miss ACW stole and pawned 2 of my daggers.

I have no tolerance for stupid people....and these people were stupid and obviously jonesing cause she'd stolen their money and they couldnt by any drugs....and knowing how unstable a jonesing person can be is the main reason I stayed calm...I knew I needed to be able to pay attention to EVERYTHING that was going on...cause if they'd had a gun or something I'd have been up the creek if I'd done/said the wrong thing.

My parents always told me that with my past experience as a coke head (when I was a teenager) that I would make a really good drug counselor. I've tried with Miss ACW...but the first thing an ex addict knows is that a user isnt going to stop until they hit rock bottom....making them quit is no good cause it wont stick, they havent sunk low enuff to understand what it is to fight the urge. When I finally gave my habit up I dropped it 100% no going back, but God (sorry to you atheists) is the one that smacked me in the face, with a tree, and showed me how I was fucking up. It took a tornado....but it worked...hehehe thats another story for another day though

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

ShaniFaye

we are working on it, I promise, but until the divorce is final and things are taken out of my name I have things I have to pay....until that time moving out is not an option....we cant afford it right this minute

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

pinkie

Oh, I don't know... It would have been a little more dramatic if it had happened on Halloween night.

(First smile?!)

denim

Should've let her call them. Then when they got there, you could point out that you were trying to stop her from stealing your cash. Cops don't like thieves. Help her by assisting her to the bottom, in order to accellerate her climb back up, maybe?

EleqTrizi'T

Wow, quite the story. Thanks for sharing, seriously. Made my day seem not so bad today

Psycho Dad

Shit fire and save all the matches! That sounded like a hell of an evening.

__________________
Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

ShaniFaye

I suppose I should have elaborated....this was another one of those cases where she got away with it....

the cops did show up.....There were also 2 other witnesses to what had happened (friends that dont live in the house) They call a female cop to search her....no money on her anywhere....I found out later that when she went thru the bedroom window to get away from me she hid the money in the pinebark under the bushes under that window.

It was my word against hers...I got a "warning" about my attempts to restrain her and she got off scotfree

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

denim

Time to change the locks.

f6twister

What kind of Keystone Cops operation do they have out there? Here, if you are caught with any type of drugs or drug equipment, you are arrested. No choice. The money stealing incident is a tough one, especially since you didn't know at the time what she did with the money. Protect yourself and keep her off of your property. You still have that choice as long as you own even a part of it. Once you move and are far away, her and the ex can do what they want.

You have done a good job of keeping your composure. I will hope that you have no more contact with her but I'm also not naive. Good luck & feel free to rant again.

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

ShaniFaye

I have no choice in her being there as long as soon to be ex wants her there, since both our names are on the property...been thru that too....I have no recourse in kicking her off the property.

of course that works in my favor too....hehehehe he cant get pissed off and decide he doesnt want Dave there

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Cynthetiq

one of the reasons why I don't want to live with other people.

i don't care if I cannot afford it. it's just not worth it to me.

good on you Shani that you can deal with it. I however cannot nor will not.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

roachboy

shani:
just wondering--when you use the phrase "crack whore" are you being literal?
does the g/f have a problem with rock?
i went through this with an old housemate...it is no joke...but i'll refrain from telling my jerry springer stories until i know the answer to the question.

__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

ShaniFaye

yes roachboy I am being literal....I thought I made that plain lol sorry if I didnt.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

roachboy

i guess you did--i just reread the main story.
i must have figured that this is an emotionally over-determined space for you, quite apart from the fiasco itself that you talk about.

anyway, this does not sound that alien to me.
i had the singular pleasure of encountering more or less similar situations as i was walked through the various phases of disintegration of my housemate when i was in graduate school. what it sounds like is that you are seeing the addiction creeping more and more into spaces that might earlier have been understood as safe, as constituting boundaries that gave the g/f the impression that she was in control.

if my experience is any guide, the strangest thing about this kind of scenario is how little you can do about it. i tried for 3 years to get my old housemate off the pipe. it worked, then it didnt, then it did, then it became impossible to know what was going on, then he vanished then he died.

the only thing i do not understand, really, is your ex's relationship with the g/f at this point: i wonder if there is something of a martyrdom thing going on with him. because there is nothing he can do to alter the g/f's situation. it will probably deteriorate until it completely wipes him out...the obvious response (reading the above, thinking about my experience) would be to walk away.

this is probably all obvious.
walking away was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. it ran against everything--my devotion to my friends, my sense of what is entailed when you love someone, my desire to fix situations, my sense of my own agency---it was really difficult to admit that i was helpless to do anything meaningful. i tried too--it cost me thousands of dollars trying to move him to another city, get him set up closer to his familiy, sending money to get him through the transition, talking for hours and hours on the phone from san fransisco to south carolina---in itself, i would not normally mention any of this, you know?---i did all of it willingly, without hesitation---but in the end, i think, it only functioned to blunt the edges of a sense of powerlessness on my part.

which in the end i had to accept, with all the lingering guilt (which still plagues me) that it entails.

i wish you the best of luck, shani.
and i wish i had things more upbeat to relay to you.
i really do.

__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

ShaniFaye

I dont need anything upbeat....its just really nice to know that someone actually does understand EXACTLY what Im going thru

yeah he still has the impression that he's gonna be able to get her off the drugs, and thats the sad thing....she has deterioated SO much in the last year its not funny....she's not even physically recognizable as the person she was

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

mattevil

I actually know somebody that went on Jerry Springer once. He's a dwarf that works at my local Wal-Mart. It's all fake according to him he posed as a guy that had a fetish for wearing diapers.

madcow

You live in Gwinnett county? Like right outside Atlanta? Damn, I better be on the lookout for that Miss America Crack Whore you speak of.

I don't know what I'd do in that situation, you seem to have the patience of a saint.

Fire

seems like you have been more than fair- and this chick is completely past redemption- I would hole up, keep you and yours away from her completely, and wait it out till you can move out- reason has failed, and obviously the law aint competent enough to be on your side- so I would lock my stuff in my room, hide the good silver, - ect- might be cramped, but it does give you a soloution of sorts till you get out......

__________________
Thought the harder, Heart the bolder,
Mood the more as our might lessens

ShaniFaye

yes madcow, like right outside atlanta....norcross to be exact hehehehe

Fire....Im thinking a new sword might do wonders

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

KungFuGuy

wow shani, i understand how you feel. it sucks and i wish i didn't cause then i could be blissfully ignorant of the jerry springer type of life. granted with my situation its more rampant alcoholism than a crack addiction (as far as i know and hope).

anyways hope things get bettter for you.

MSD

The first thing I did when I read the part about the guy in the laundry room, even before finishing reading the story, was to look up what Georgia state law says about threat or use of force to defend the home. Here's the relevant section:
Let's see how your situation checks out

"to the extent that he or she reasonably believes that such threat or force is necessary to prevent or terminate such other´s unlawful entry into or attack upon a habitation" ... check

"the entry is attempted or made for the purpose of assaulting or offering personal violence to any person dwelling or being therein" ... check

"...is not a member of the family or household ... and the person using such force know or had reason to believe that an unlawful and forceable entry had occurred" ... check

If these fuckers come back, I would warn them to leave my property with the aid of "Exhibit A," a nice shiny shotgun. I wouldn't shoot to kill if they were unarmed, but if they insisted on staying, I wouldn't hesitate to crack one over the head with the butt of the gun.


You shouldn't have to go through this shit, I hope that everything goes smoothly and you're able to move to a new, safe neighborhood where the neighbors wave to each other as they go out to get the morning paper and you can let your child wander around with the neighborhood kids and not have to come home until the streetlights turn on.