Doctor visit stories
 

I had to go to the doctor's office today. I don't really care for going there. You arrive on time and wait for an hour to see them. But, at least you get to fill out their paperwork while you sit. So anway, I think I may have a problem with the plumbing that needs medical attention.

Fast forward around fifty minutes and I'm sitting on an exam table with a sheet wrapped around my midsection. The doc walks in and starts asking questions. Blah blah blah, stand-up and drop your undies, but doc we've just met. (ha ha)

Luckily, this is not the regular woman doctor that I see. The regular doctor looks like a masculine Mike Ditka. No, this is her partner (not in the les sense), and she is fine. Well, back to the drawer dropping. All I can think of while she is doing the exam is "don't get hard, don't get hard". Thank God it worked. I'm not sure how that would have transpired. Kinda hard to explain away. Ha ha, well look at that.

Glad to report all is well, but it got me thinking about embarassing situations people get into with doctors. Thank God most of them are trained professionals.

So, would any of you like to share a moment with the class?

I wonder how many good looking female doctors have to deal with erectile function mid exam?

Mine was fairly embarassing. I was 28 and had been - for some reason - suddenly concerned about testicular cancer. I decided to take a look at my little boys one night in the shower and thought I saw and felt a lump. I freaked and the next day went to the clinic, certain I was going to be dead within the month.

Of course, a female doctor performed the exam. I told her my concern and she had me drop my jeans. As she was examining them, she said, "I don't notice anything unusual. What caused you to think there's something wrong?"

I grabbed one of my nuts and rolled it for her to see - my fear of possible cancer outweighed any decorum I should have been showing at this moment - and said, "Right here, it's lumpy like a tumor."

She replied, "those are your glands. Have you ever examined yourself before?"

It was at this moment that I realized what a dumbass I was - my pants around my knees, my balls in my hand, being told by a doctor that I couldn't tell my glands from my ass.

Are you kidding? I go to a female doctor because I don't want a guy touching me, in part. I've also found that female doctors seem to be gentler.

About five years ago, I had a broken right hand. The doctor put a brace on it instead of a cast, and I was supposed to use the hand as little as possible until it set and healed properly. I'm a musician, so this was not just some kind of minor inconvenience; this was practically my life.

It was damned hard not to use that hand, and my wife stayed on me constantly about it. After one week, I went back to the doctor to see if was setting properly, and I told him what a pain my wife was being (like I was trying to forge some sort of male bonding with the guy). I ended by saying all the little things I was doing with my hand were no big deal, right?

He responded with the single most cold-blooded thing I've ever heard a doctor say.

He said, "It doesn't matter to me whether you screw it up or not. I'll just re-break it and re-set it. Makes no difference to me, although it will hurt you like hell."

I instantly became old one-arm Warrrreagl following that visit.

When I was like 15 my doctor (male) asked me if it was ok if a resident sat in on my physical. I said sure...and she (beautiful) walked in. I got hard during the physical...so embarassing.

not an embarrassment but

I was once required to see a psychiatrist. When it was finally my turn,
I opened the door. As I'm going in, she asks "How are you today".
I say "What do you mean?"
She says "next".
She wrote down paranoid/scitsofrenic.
This doctor had never seen me before.

Im almost 19, but ive been seing the same doctor for like 13 years, under my parents insurance. The thing is his office joined this childrens group, so when i go to the doctor, i sit in a waiting room with pukin 4 year olds and babies playin with chewtoys and stuff. Kinda embarrasing

I've already chronicled my recent doctor experiences in other places on the board, but anytime I hear about doctor stories, the first thing that comes to mind is Clavus and his snippity snip.

This isn't quite the same as everyone else's stories, but I have no doctor and I've never needed one, apart from an STD check where I just went to a local clinic. People look at me like I'm insane for not having a doctor, and if I ever have to fill out a form where they ask for my doctor's details, I just say I don't have one, and it's like a spanner in the gears. Nobody knows what to do, the whole process stops and the staff at wherever I am have to ask one another what happens if someone doesn't have a doctor.

When I say to them that I've never needed one, and that I've never been sick enough to go to a doctor, and that I've never had a check up since I was about six years old, they freak out. I still won't get a regular doctor though.

I already told this story in another thread, but - since this is about doctor visits . . .

During a routine annual physical, a new doctor, substituting for my regular doc, was giving me the usual gloved finger probe. Halfway thru the exam, he moved his finger, and asked me, "Does that bother you?" Not wanting him to think I was a wuss, I answered, "No."

To which he replied, "Well, it'd sure as hell bother me !!"

The laughing just made it hurt more.