Is oral sex REAL sex?
 

Okay, in honor of Bill Clinton...

Is oral sex REAL sex?

How about mutual masturbation to climax?

Is "insertion" the defining thing?

Yes, yes, no.

It's not called oral *sex* for nothing you know. :)

Sex
Plain and simple.

Feeling up someone
Mutual masturbastion
Oral, etc, etc, etc
It's all sex

Don't split hairs.
Don't fool yourself
No rationalization is going to make your guilt go away.
You were seriously playing around and you know it.;)

that's funny, man.
I was a high school art teacher when X president clinton was single-handedly destroying the language of interpersonal intimacy.

it was fascinating and pathetic to see how an entire generation of impressionable youth who, as always, were searching for ways to fool themselves and others about their behavior latched onto this media-juiced trend.

if you're asking the question, one day you will hopefully discover the integral nature of personality, relationship, and sexuality and see that they are and have always been one thing.

perhaps you'll be one of the very fortunate ones who discover they are also all about love.

When person is aroused, it is sex of some sort. Solo or partner, no matter, it is physiologically sex when someone gets aroused and acts like creatures of this species do when they get excited. :) So for me sex is just short for sexual behaviour.

Is this going into direction of "is oral sex/masturbation cheating"-conversation?

oral = sex, mutual masterbation=sex, insertion necessary to be sex, of course not.

Sex is far more than insertion.
It includes a state of mind, body and soul.

There are many levels of sex and all are equally as real as the next. There is no grey area here.

Anybody who tries to justify otherwise is simply delusional. IMHO

If your SO caught performing oral on another person, I am sure they would consider it "sex".......

A wise man once said that its whenever the nipple makes its first appearance.

I guess it depends on your definition of sex. Personally, I think of it as equivalent to sexual intercourse, but its really just a word.

Wouldn't phone/cyber fall under the mutual masturbation category? Which I believe some others have already classified as "sex".

i'm growing weary of the silly sex threads a little.

'do you like to make out in front of kids??' or "when was the first time you said whoa nice tits!

it's getting dull and almost... childish.

anyhow, sorry. i can ovverlook threads instead of complaining.

oral sex is sex. intercourse is sex. sodomy is sex. serious foreplay is sex. hell, masturbation is sex.

if i made out (ei, kisses, touched, held) a girl i'd not consider it sex. if we disrobed or went down on each other, then its sex. pure and simple.

you either use your genitalss or you don't. period.

While I would consider all of the above to be sex, I have to point out that a lot of teenagers would disagree.

I work with and fund several projects that work with teens, both for those already parents and to prevent others from becoming parents. All of the public health counselors state that the biggest problem they encounter is that teen girls don't think of either oral or anal sex as sex. Their definition is that if it can't get them pregnant, it ain't sex.

It may not matter what our definition happens to be. What is the definition of the next generation.

i only consider the insertion to be real sex, but that's just me

Dick insertion in a mouth is sex DUDE!!!!

or as my boss says "eatin' ain't cheatin'"

but he's scum

Actually... after reading the post I think the question isnt whether these actions are sex, its whether these actions are CHEATING. Just because you feel that mutual masturbation may not be sex doesnt mean its not cheating.

Put it this way, if your girl (guy) went and masturbated with some guy (girl), would YOU consider it cheating? OH hell yeah you would.....




unless you were into that type of stuff.... but thats another Topic

the rule of thumb is: If you feel guilty about it after , it was real sex.

If performing these acts is considered sex, then if one had never done anything like that before, could you still consider someone a virgin? Or would they have lost their viginity?

Just a question. :)

Art, I'm a teacher now and hear the students' rationalizations of their sexual dalliances everyday. I asked the question not because I wanted anyone to excuse MY actions, but (because of a "few" unwanted pregnancies in the district lately) to open the floor to discussion as to whether or not anyone else thinks this line of thinking is as ridiculous as I do.

My wife and I have been together for 22 years. Our intimate times together have always been out of love for each other, not to get another "notch" or to have someone "like" us more. I'm sure that you, Mimi, and Sus feel the same.

sbscout,
Thanks much for the extra info!

I get jaded at times, responding to folks who really are parsing down their lives into just these neo-Clintoneque categories.

I'd very much like to hear your impressions of some of the other "youth-oriented" subjects I have brought up lately.

It does appear to me that each new media-saturated generation our society influences is substantially more a product of the distorted world-views it presents...

I'll now go back and dutifully re-read your more recent posts here.

I couldn't have said it better;)

First I guess we should define "sex" and even if something is not sex that dosn't mean it is good. I personally consider I personally consider all anal,vaginal and oral inseration to be sex. But of course you can also bring up lesbians. Should we say they have never had sex because of lack of inserstion? It doesn't matter what you call it or consider it. If this all about cheating or not then yea all of those are cheating. If my woman as much as kissed another man (in that way of course .. not the peck on the cheek or whatever) that would be the end of it. I mean if I am the only one in this then whats the point? (Of course I don't currently have a relationship at this time but still.) As far as teenagers go.. Well again lets remember that despite what the media would have you know most teenagers aren't out fucking like rabbits. I know a large number of virgins who are out of high school and/or in their 20s. I know just as many non virgins but thats not the point. In the end when you boil it all down and just want to define what is sex and what is not I am going to have to concur with Angel.

HEHEHEHEHEHE someone said sex!

The only two reasons I've heard for not considering oral sex to be sex is to 1, not feel guilty, and 2, Catholics trying to argue that it's not sex and therefore you won't go to hell for it. Either way, they're deluding themselves.

If it gets you hot, its sex.

hm.
i see my opinion is unlike most of yours..

and i dunno why..

but imo -

oral sex is oral sex, but not 'sex'
mutual masturbation is sexy, but is not 'sex'

penile penetration into vagina or anus is 'sex'.

prolly not politically correct..but whatever. fuck pc-ness.

granted, the other activities mentioned - oral, lesbians, masturbation, etc...they are definitely valid forms of sexual interaction and intimacy. i'm not discounting that at all.

i just have a narrow view of what constitutes 'sex' i guess.

fine with me.

:shrug:

:)

Well said. Thought provoking too.

To me, "sex" is any arousing act that you'd feel embarrassed (or for some, more excited) if someone walked in on you. It's a state of being, not a definition.

Definitions are for words, and if you're having words with someone it usually doesn't lead to sex.

Reminds me of an old story of a king who had decided to write down all the laws, so that everyone could see them. Prior to this the laws were sort of an oral tradition, spoken and passed around. A local sage advised against it, however, saying "My lord, if you use words to describe the laws, what words will you use to describe the words?"

If it involves a sexual organ it is sex

If oral sex is "SEX" then masturbation as well is sex...
It´s a sexual act, but not Sex in the whole word meaning

It's all sex.

That's the way it was always discribed to me when I was younger!

Well it certainly FEELS real!

I like that answer. Sex starts in the mind. As I pointed out in another thread, everything else is just fricton.

I've known a woman or two that could just look me in the eye and, while no physical sex was involved, my heartbeat, breathing, and entire body were affected by something intense going on between us.

Oral sex seems to me to be about as much real sex as it gets.

And yes, I think that "Eating is Cheating".

The rule of thumb in our marriage (which applies to partying, acting goofy with friends, finances, etc.):

Don't tell everything you do, but don't do anything you can't tell.

Oral sex isn't "sex' per se.

If a girl sucks you off is she not a virgin anymore?

I'd say she is.

Apples and oranges.

If she were to have anal sex she would still be a virgin by the historical requirements wouldn't she? And she had sex didn't she? She is now "experienced" at sex.

A vaginal insertion doesn't seem to be the only determinent of sex, only of physical virginity.

I'd say it would be. Look at it this way, would it be alright if your girlfriend got/gave head to another guy? I'll be presumptuous and say 'no'.

I had this discussion with a female friend of mine the other day, she reckons that she's gunna stop having sex for a while and just give her boyfriend blow jobs for awhile... i thought about it and came up with the conclusion that it would be alright at first but after a while he would be pretty damn frustrated. I guess it can go both ways...

Here is ny take....Apparently I am in the minority.

Sex to me involves intercourse. Everything else is not sex. I do think that feeling up, heavy petting, oral, etc... would constitute intimate interaction and therefore it WOULD be grounds for being accused of cheating, but it is NOT sex.

My 2 cents...

I don't think that oral or mutual masturbation is sex. IMH, penetration is sex. The rest are things that lead up to sex, but they're not actual sex.