Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-10-2004, 05:23 AM   #41 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
I woke up late today.

I can't wait till she and I move in together. I can't stand leaving her every morning. It's getting to be harder and harder every time. She's amazing. Simply perfect.

We went out drinking last night. Some bumb bitch started a fight with her. I have no fuckin' clue why. We got thrown out. It was kind of funny. We didn't do anything wrong but the owner threw us out because he didn't want us starting more fights. Well, we didn't start the first one. I might have broke some stuff on the way out... I was a little tipsy... sorry.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 05:32 AM   #42 (permalink)
 
roachboy's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: essex ma
it is the day before the first clairaudient performances (others are in the works)

(shameless plug--

www.clairaudient.org

if you are near philadelphia, check it out, o yes)

and the lighting guy that we have been working with all summer flaked on us.
the fixtures he had been arranging had all variously disappeared, he said.
i have no reason to doubt it.
the problem is that he turned up in the venue last week and apparently looked over the house lighting rig and declared all of it not adequate in what seems to have been a kind of arrogant manner--which meant that when the fixtures he had arranged variously failed to be available, he could not bring himself to ask the venue to use their equipment.
so he bailed.
last night.

i am oddly calm about this, maybe because i had not seen the lighting design materially, but only on paper.
we had counted on having lighting that would invade the entire space and not simply the stage to manoever the audience more quickly into the space of hallucination that we are working in.
and were all excited to see this new dimension added to what we had been doing.

fucking flake.
__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

Last edited by roachboy; 09-10-2004 at 06:53 AM..
roachboy is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 06:15 AM   #43 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
Lucid Flight

The lucid dream I had this week was just the best. I discovered myself flying through a
vast interior scene with many chambers and caverns. I was holding a ribbon-type thing -
similar to the long ribbons employed by synchronized teams of Olympic gymnasts. The ribbon was slung behind my back and as I held the ends out in front of me I could sort of sit back and relax and be propelled forward. The ends of the ribbon vibrated in tight spirals as if they were a set of propellers.

Indoors, they had a cutting effect, like chain saws, on anything they touched. So I had to maneuver myself above the floors to keep them from ripping apart. I decided to find a way to exit and get outdoors. As I executed these maneuvers it was clear this was a full-fledged flying device and I began to soar above the trees. I immediately realized I was dreaming and that I could do the most impossible things without danger to myself.

I sought out a hurricane over the ocean and entered the eye wall for the thrill, ride, and flight of my life. The wind howled and the rain flew sideways. And I was able to maintain awareness that I was dreaming for the duration of the dream.
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 06:42 AM   #44 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
rat, good to see your post. Yep, my grandfather's death was a major paradigm-shifting moment for me.
King - real happy you got a good thing going.
roachboy - best of luck with your performance...break a leg, dude.
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 10:48 AM   #45 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Spam Spam Spam

Remove your Debt the Christian Way... so screamed a piece of spam that I got today, I actually get it quite frequently, today, while I'm waiting on files to download, I decided to actually look at it. It points to a site called http://www.christiandebtremovers.org/ where their tag line is, Debt Elimination Services Based on Christian Principals. Well that sure as hell intrigued me... Christian principals said that Jesus turned water into wine, and had enough loaves of bread and fishes to feed a small army, plus that whole walking on water thing... Gotta wonder what they could do with my debt. It would take a small miracle to make it disappear, is that what they're promising?

Nope, in researching their site, no miracles, they actually expect you to pay off your own debt, well, that's not very Christian-like of them? So could it possibly be, that this whole spam business, of promising the world, is nothing more than a load of rubbish? That means that 99.95 I spent won't make me desirable to the opposite sex, I won't get rich beyond wildest dreams, and I won't grow my penis three inches - oh wait, I don't have a penis... Maybe I should cancel that order...

Download please finish, I'm bored...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 11:42 AM   #46 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
Next you'll tell me the Nigerian investments I've made won't pan out! Have a little faith, for goodness sake...

__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 11:58 AM   #47 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
so far so good....no plane crashes today

and I got a 1/2 day off work....so so far this hasnt been a bad friday
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 09-10-2004, 12:10 PM   #48 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
so far so good....no plane crashes today
Well if a plane is gonna crash, do it now, My flight leaves at 8:00 -- I don't want that crashing plane to be mine
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-11-2004, 12:36 PM   #49 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
This was was crazy. It actually went better than I expected. We have set the date for closing for this Thursday now. It's final. Just waiting to get everyone together to sign the papers. Next weekend we'll be busy moving I'm sure.
The visit to the raptor center was enjoyable and interesting. My MRI went smoothly and quickly. I was much more comfortable than I expected. My Dentist apt went smoother and Mom-in-law showed up to drive me home and around town. Much help since I wouldn't want to be driving with 500-1000mg of Vicodin in me. Yeah I had to take some for a while there. I'm not taking any today though. I had a mild fever yesterday and quite a headache on that side of my face but today the headache is tolerable with just a couple ibuprophen.

All in all the week was stressful but it could have been a lot worse and I've made it through in one piece. I even had my period this week. I kind get used to not having it and not dealing with the cramps and migranes. When they all come I have a harder time dealing but managed ok this time.

I'm so hungry that I'm loosing my mind over it. If I eat anything that has crumbs or is crunchy I get it in the empty cavity where my tooth was and it hurts, bigtime. I tried only ONE thing. All I can eat is liquid mostly still. It's still bleeding off and on if I talk a lot but not near as much. I want to chew some food so badly!. I'm hungry. I'm horny too cause I haven't gotten to play since I started my period Tues night.

At least I made it through the week. Time to recoop and start packing. It's finally warm out too. Thank goodness. I hope it's warm next weekend. It will be the first time in our married life that we've not moved in the rain and snow. At least HOPEFULLY no rain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ARTelevision
Lucid Flight
That dream sounds awesome. It's been a long time since I've had a lucid dream but mine have always been related to flying somehow. Last lucid dream I had I was fixing artichoke hearts with a butter sauce. According to my dream it tasted awesome. Who knows.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-11-2004, 02:34 PM   #50 (permalink)
All Possibility, Made Of Custard
 
quadro2000's Avatar
 
Location: New York, NY
Okay, here I am

I really, really miss the journals. I don't know why I'm apparently not mature enough to just post my thoughts in either of the two journal threads. There's something comforting and natural to me now, after a year of using the journals (missed my one-year anniversary...damn), about posting there. So that's why I haven't written. And I really feel like I've suffered for it. Lots of thoughts I want to get out, yet something in me stops myself from posting them. And as a result, I feel like I'm hanging out on TFP less. But now I feel like writing, so here I go.

(Do I sound like a fucking child in that last paragraph or what? I'm not bitching at Hal or anybody else for not getting them back up. I understand these things take time. I'm just venting, and I assume that this will be seen as such.)

Lots of stuff going on. Today is Quadrette's bridal shower and bachelorette party, spilling into tomorrow. The past few weeks have been kinda stressful in that regard. Both were supposed to be surprises, but ultimately she wound up finding out most of the details due to other people spilling the beans accidentally. No big deal, thankfully, as she wasn't upset by it. She found it more funny than anything. The stressful part was due to the fact that nobody really wanted to plan the bachelorette party. Two of her bridesmaids couldn't make it anyway, and the others were all from out of town (and didn't know each other). So we needed a non-bridesmaid friend from NYC to help do some research and planning, but they all believed (rightfully) it was the job of the bridal party. Either way, the bottom line was nothing was getting done. So guess who planned the bachelorette party? Yup. In conjunction with one of the bridesmaids from Buffalo, we arranged dinner for tonight at Lucky Cheng's in the city and a sex toy party (like a Tupperware party) for tomorrow. I felt really shitty having to get involved. But the bottom line is that I didn't want Quadrette to have a bad party. So if that's what it took...that's what it took. And it sounds like the shower went well. I talked with her briefly. Apparently she got a lot of loot.

Once she gets home, I'm going to take the car and head out to my folks' house for the evening. I can't stay here as some of the girls will be sleeping over, and it just seems wrong. My best buddy is on a date so i can't stay at his place, and my other friend offered his apartment but he's going to be out real late and I'm not really in the mood to be hanging out. Especially because I have to be at my theatre company early tomorrow morning - it's the day that we do twice a year where we read all the potential scripts for the upcoming one-act festival. So I'll just go back to Long Island, get to bed early and be back in the city by 9.

Other things going on too. Lots of it wedding-related. I have the jacket and pants for the tux. Still need to find a nice vest and tie and hook my groomsmen up. Almost set on the rings. Quadrette still needs to figure out flowers. Invites are out, responses are coming back. Seven weeks from today is the day. Today I wrote out a rough draft of our ceremony. Now that I finally have a concrete basis, as opposed to ideas floating around in my head, I can start to revise it.

In work news, Quadrette didn't get a job she applied for. I got a promotion and a raise. That's a nice thing. First raise in a few years. I'll also be taking my first ever business trip, out to Kansas City in October.

I'm sure this will embarrass him completely, but Cynthetiq told me what our wedding present will be. Cyn and Skogafoss bought us TiVo. I'm unbelievably speechless about it. In a world full of linen, pots and pans and stemware, finally, a gift comes around that I'll actually use. We hope to set it up in the apartment in the next few weeks.

There's more stuff to tell, I'm sure, but a lot of the little thoughts disappear into the ether after I've processed them. So hopefully the journals will be back soon and I can go back to sharing lots of boring details that nobody gives a rat's ass about.
__________________
You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers
quadro2000 is offline  
Old 09-11-2004, 02:39 PM   #51 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
We care about rat's ass -- we care about your ass too ya big silly.. .Jeesh....

So much for the old notion that the groom does nothing in regards to the wedding, that all he has to do is show up...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-12-2004, 12:31 AM   #52 (permalink)
Americow, the Beautiful
 
Supple Cow's Avatar
 
Location: Washington, D.C.
I just came back from the first Ultimate Frisbee team party of the year, and I met a lot of great people. Unfortunately, for every great person I met, there was an equally creepy guy who couldn't take a hint. One guy kept hovering around me until I danced with him (in hopes that he would move on to some other hapless lady afterward). Then the jerk groped my ass. Okay, fine. We've all had quite a bit to drink. Maybe he was confused. Whatever. So I told him explicitly, "Whoa, I don't want to hook up with you," to which he replied, "No, no, it's just a dance."

THEN, he proceeded to grab my ass again. Did he think that I would forget that I didn't want to hook up if I just danced a little longer and had a little more to drink? That only makes it more deplorable! Luckily, my friend [M] was around and I gave him the "help me" face. He came to the rescue and then guarded the seat next to me for a really long time. Girls kept coming up to him to get him to dance, and he would just turn them away because that jerk was still hovering. What a nice kid to sit there for so long. After a while, I felt bad, so I told him to go dance and then just enlisted my other friend to dance with me and keep me unapproachable.

THEN (get this), the same groper comes up, taps my friend, and says, "[S] says I should take her home. I'm leaving now." So my friend, [L] says, "Bye," and ignores the stupid comment about taking me home. Mr. Groper tries again: "I'm supposed to walk her home." What the hell was was he thinking? Does that really ever work? Do guys think they can get away with this? I may have been in a committed relationship for too long, but I just can't bring myself to believe that this is acceptable. So I turned around and glared at him and said, "I'm not going home, and I'm definitely not going home with you." At that, he finally took the hint (really, beyond a hint) and left. Then [S] came up and apologized for being creepy, but I pointed out that he was just being encouraging to a friend and that he couldn't help it if his friend was so creepy that he didn't mention that I already said I wasn't interested.

Creepy people (creeple?) aside, I came out of the situation with a lot of new lady friends (my new teammates), and a number of good male friends to whom I can shoot my "help me" face and expect safe company. I have to say that the thing I miss most about being in a relationship tonight is being able to interact with people that won't try to disrespect my body all the time. Especially since it was last ubertuber to be in my company that way (and he is pretty imposing), I'm really not used to this. I can't say that I ever want to be.
__________________
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)
Supple Cow is offline  
Old 09-12-2004, 04:50 AM   #53 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
quadro, excellent to see your entry!
I do think these threads can be meaningful to us as an interim measure.

Supple Cow, I apologize for the many asses who make up the male human gender pool. Insufferable, agreed.
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-12-2004, 11:00 AM   #54 (permalink)
 
roachboy's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: essex ma
on autopoiesis down, one to go, for the time being.
despite a really muddy, incoherent monitor mix, it seems that the first performance worked better than we imagined: people sitting in differnt spots in the venue had very different experiences of the performance, particular elements coming to the fore, particular elements being selected as focus points...no-one, including ourselves, had a general view of what was happening. we decided on a constraint before we went on---build a wall---which also seems to either have worked or to have provided a micronarrative that enabled us to rationalize what happened.

it seemed to almost frighten people that we talked to afterwards.

something must have worked in reality---the number of beers that floated toward us without our actually paying after the fact are a good barometer, i think.
which of course means that tonight will be apporached through a slight haze.

which brings me to a question for you, o reader: tonight we are doing a quieter st that for me will focus on manipulating the qualities of sound by tampering with the soundboard. i wonder if any have suggestions for materials or objects that i might use to open up the possibilities more.

here's what i use to far:
my hands (harmonics, dampening, scratching, etc.)
a childs violin bow (i cant use it as a bow, sadly, because the horsehair is too fine to catch the stringes)
a piece of felt jammed between the hair and wood of the bow, as a soft hammer
typani mallets (felt lined but harder than the above)
marimba mallets (hard rubber)
the wires from the bottom of a snare drum

what i am thinking of adding tonight:
some string of fishing line run around some strings and pulled across them to bow (long tones--hard to manipulate myself, given that it will take two hands to produce the sound)
a toilet plunger
maybe a small battery operated fan

and the object from the house: a flashlight (i like getting things from the space to use)

any ideas?

btw, i am not going to do prepared piano because i dont have enough time to get it together between sets, and i share the piano with the other act....so it is not really about nailing down strings or that kind of thing--more about producing overtines and messing with them ontop of the strings.

i'll be around for another 3 hours or so, checking from time to time, so let me know...
__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite
roachboy is offline  
Old 09-12-2004, 10:13 PM   #55 (permalink)
spudly
 
ubertuber's Avatar
 
Location: Ellay
Supple Cow -

You didn't really tell me that part of the story... The antics that men will resort to never cease to amaze me. It causes some sort of short circuit in my brain - I mean, I'd figure that people engage in behaviors that in the past have proven successful, or ones that they expect will produce the desired result. I'm having a really hard time picturing this approach ever working. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad your friends took care of you.
__________________
Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam
ubertuber is offline  
Old 09-13-2004, 06:41 AM   #56 (permalink)
Drifting
 
amonkie's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Windy City
The Clarity that comes with Pain

Got woken up by my sister this morning dark and early at 5:00, since I'd promised her last night I'd go running with her. It's not really hot yet that early in the morning, but we both pushed ourselves, most notably by me getting a cramp in my toes. ow ow ow. Hobbling around the house trying to work it out while waiting for the shower, I felt more alive than I have in a while. In a weird way, I like working out not simply because it gets me on the road to a "fab" body or the health benefits, but the soreness of my muscles reminds me that they're still there and being used.

This pain philosophy doesn't carry over so well into relationships, methinks. It maybe could explain however howsome people don't feel their relationship is actually anything meaningful unless there is bickering,fighting, or tension in the relationship.

This week looks to be pretty busy, with two tests today, working the college republican table three days this week, and my birthday this weekend. I'm a little amused at my friends who think they're getting me "trashed" this weekend since it's my 21st. Not gonna happen, work spoils all the fun because I have to be at work at 7 and 8am on sat and sunday respectively.

I miss not having the time or brainpower for personal writing at the moment. So much of my energy is taken up with thinking about classes, by the time I get home and get the reading and assignments out of the way, then work out for an hour, I'm so mentally exhausted I can't even form coherent sentences half the time. Maybe in my downtime today between my class that will finish early because of the test and having to tutor I can let my mind wander. I feel the healthier for it when I do get a chance to write.
__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
amonkie is offline  
Old 09-13-2004, 12:53 PM   #57 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
On pain, yes, it’s illuminative.

I’ve been experiencing dental pain for a couple of months – while the tooth itself is being worked and reworked and yet the pain does not cease. I’m now discussing drastic surgical procedures or just extraction – while in the meantime I’m paying for the root canal and crown that failed.

The foot, in which a thorn is buried, has had me hobbling around for months and it isn’t getting better, either. Drastic solution ahead for that one too.

In the meantime I’m just eating painkillers that don’t really work that well but force me to fight drowsiness during my waking hours.

Yet, sus and mimi keep telling me how well I’m bearing up and how I’m not letting this sad state of affairs affect my positive attitude. Yeah, I guess that’s true, so far.

Anyway, why would someone add drama to pain? Doesn’t make sense to me. I still need to have good days. So I have them…
__________________
create evolution

Last edited by ARTelevision; 09-13-2004 at 12:55 PM..
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 04:51 AM   #58 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Closing tomarrow, Wednesday, September 15th, at 4:30. Yaaahhoooo. Been packing here and there quite a bit. Mom is wanting to help us move. Hubby wants to move oursleves without help. His reasoning makes sense to me and we don't have to rush. We have two weeks to get everything moved and cleaned up here. He wants to put stuff where it's supposed to go. Hubby's boss was giving him a hard time yesterday with hubby trying to get off. G wouldn't even let hubby finish speaking more than 4 words. He was adamant "NO" that hubby couldn't get off at all. We MUST close by Friday or else pay for it. It was only an hour that hubby was asking for at the end of the day when things aren't all that busy anyway. His boss has been there for 15 years and should be able to handle ONE hour. Well I called our mortgage broker to let her know we had a hitch in our plans. She insisted on calling hubby's boss to explain things and I think to chew him out a little. She was quite angry that G wouldn't cooperate for a simple hour. Hubby happened to answer the phone when she called and his boss had finally listened for more than 4 words and said "ok". Hubby told her "It's taken care of." It's encouraging to know that she was gonna go out of her way to go to bat for us in an area that she had no reason to care about really. It costs us more money but not her if things are delayed. Good to know that the person working for us is willing to go above and beyond.

Well got a trailer lined up to haul the big stuff. Want to do a major haul this weekend but heading up to the in-laws to pick up our daughter. She will be staying there from Fri-Sun so we can blitz on the house. Will have to line up phone hookup and cable hookup. This time though we are going to get both with the cable company instead of using Verizon for our local phone. The amount we'll save will be about 50% less than our basic phone line with Verizon. Hmm Glad to have a little friendly local telephone competition. We were unable to get telephone through the cable company in the apts because of some legal thing that said we couldn't have anyone but Verizon. Sounds like a monopoly to me. Grrr I can't wait to get the move done. Will be working on it during the week in the evenings as well. I'm so excited to get out of here and over there.

I'm sure in the move there will be a day or two in which we'll have no cable, internet, or phone access.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ARTelevision
On pain, yes, it’s illuminative.

I’ve been experiencing dental pain for a couple of months – while the tooth itself is being worked and reworked and yet the pain does not cease. I’m now discussing drastic surgical procedures or just extraction – while in the meantime I’m paying for the root canal and crown that failed.

The foot, in which a thorn is buried, has had me hobbling around for months and it isn’t getting better, either. Drastic solution ahead for that one too.
Ouch, Ouch and more Ouch. I detest the dentist. To have to return for more work because something he did didn't help would drive me wild. Now that I've had the one wisdom tooth pulled extraction doesn't seem nearnly so bad though.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 05:14 AM   #59 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
Thanks for your concern, raeanna.
.................................................

Hey, y'all did it - you're buying the place!
Welcome to the wild world of home ownership!

"Every day is Earth Day when you own your own land."
- G. W. Bush
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 05:40 AM   #60 (permalink)
All Possibility, Made Of Custard
 
quadro2000's Avatar
 
Location: New York, NY
SuppleCow - ah, the evils that lie in the dicks of men. I remember being up at this club in Canada back in college. It was a real meat market - there wasn't even room to move more than a few feet without bumping into somebody. (We only went because we were underage, and you only have to be 19 to drink in Canada.) Anyway, one time, Quadrette and I were dancing, and she goes, "are your hands on my ass?" I held both hands up in the air to indicate that nope, it wasn't me. She smacked that guy away.

My roommate (female) was dancing with a guy at the same club, and all of a sudden, he just whipped it out. Yup, just whipped it out. Right there on the dance floor. He must have had it out for two minutes before she noticed it - the club was that packed. And this guy didn't think anything of it.

Crazy, huh?
__________________
You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers
quadro2000 is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 05:57 AM   #61 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Tempe,Az....until I figure things out...
I do enjoy random posts, but I also keep blogs for that as well. But I do enjoy posting here so much better because everyone gives honest opinions and I don't have to worry about some of the odd drama that somehow associates itself with blogs like livejournal.

Anyway, currently I'm just in an odd phase.. I don't really know what's going on with me, to be honest. I think I might go and see a therapist soon, to be honest.

Things are ok, not great though. I'm doing okay in school, but I know I need to be doing better. Things are okay on the homefront, but they could be better. Work is sort of a mute point because work is work, I don't dislike it... but I have found my motivation for making work great... paying my bills to get by, that is what makes work great. Personally, I feel miserable inside. I just lack so much motivation, and I don't know why? I don't know if it's my constantly failing health, or I am just somewhat comfortable going on with how things are? But it's at the point where it's not just affecting me inwardly and outwardly, but it's also effecting my husband. But he doesn't always communicate it to me.. I just know it's effecting him.

I suppose in many ways I have always been more "independently" minded, but I have always had some small need to co-exist with others as well. And really, I don't know if I know how to co-exist with others in many ways. Lately I have just had no sort of need to be affectionate, and I can't figure it out. I know I have something wrong with me healthwise.. but I know that this isn't the problem. It just seems more and more I find myself sleeping quite a bit and droning away with school, work, and then just coming home and sleeping more. It seems possible that maybe I am just depressed, but I don't FEEL like I am. I just feel like I am just lacking any motivation to change or adapt to all of the new situations. I think when I boil everything down to it, I really should go see a therapist because I am tired of feeling like this and I am upset that it is effecting both of us rather greatly.

That's all for now.
__________________
"Things can only get so bad before they have no choice but to get better.."

Quote:
Nitz Walsh : It's not fair God. Why am I still a virgin?........ Stupid gnome.
BlueBongo is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 05:59 AM   #62 (permalink)
 
roachboy's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: essex ma
postperformance ruminations.

the clairaudient/windsleepers project had its first public manifestations on the weekend.
it has (obviously if the journal is an index) been a preoccupation for a couple of months, an extraordinary accelerated learning process.

the results are interesting: saturday was the more aggressive set and it appears we did a job on the audience. reactions are still filtering back through various channels--from what we can tell, the set was up and focussed from the start, and the sound melted into what appears to have been a kind of pulverizing wall by about 15 minutes--people could not tell the piano from the electronics, the shortwave from the poets from teh playskools...yes yes.

sunday we did a very quiet set, generated a very different space which seemed to have worked (the straighter musicians in the house reacted very strongly to sunday because they could tell which intrument was which--i am not sure how i feel about that, actually--but it resulted in a bunch of invitations from contemporary classical players, where after saturday what we got from these same people were series of questions about how we did what we did)....

i bought a woody woodpecker handheld fan with floppy plastic blades that was a source of great fun for me during the sunday performance, letting the blades whack the piano strings, trying to find points of minimal contact, making harmonics along the string being vibrated, sending waves out into the house...woody woopecker is my new friend. i found five or six other ways to generate tones from it by playing around with it later on, so it'll be in the repertoire of stringabuse toys for a while.

results:

we need greater control over the sound--we are considering working a sound engineer into the collective---the venue we played had a really poor monitor mix, and the nature of the sound was outside the capabilities of the sound guy, who could not get an accurate mix because the soundimage we were producing was such that he did not know what to focus on.

otherwise, keep moving.
we are into a short hiatus then back to performance mode again starting in october.
things seem to be moving around us a little, so we might well start surfacing publically...holding off on excitement until things actually beging to occur--too old to think otherwise.

i need to focus on my courses for a while in any event--setting the premises of classes you teach is critical because they carry the semester---unfolding implications is easier than setting the game in motion.

i sent one of my classes to the duchamp gallery at the philadelphia art museum on the weekend--this afternoon we'll see if they figured out why they had to do it---a good index of where we are starting from, you see.
__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

Last edited by roachboy; 09-14-2004 at 06:02 AM..
roachboy is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 06:14 AM   #63 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Talked to Blonddie this past Sat. Sounds like Dawson70 is doing alright. He a mite uncomfortable but finds his roommates pleasant. They are 1 large black lesbian, and 1 small hispanic gay. Quite the mix I must say. Apparently they are decent and pleasant to live with. The hispanic is a hairdresser so Dawson shouldn't have trouble finding himself a new barber. The man's friends are mainly what make Dawson uncomfortable it sounds like. I just found this a VERY different situation to be in. Had to share since he won't be back to share himself until the end of this month.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 09:41 AM   #64 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Sometimes a Banana is Just a Banana (or life amuses the heck out of me sometimes)

'm in Penn Station, Newark this morning, 'round about 5:20 this morning, drinking coffee, yes, I'm sorry, doc, but what's a girl to do, it's freakin' early. I'm also munching on a banana. Now, at this hour of the morning, Penn Station has quite a few construction type workers waiting on the early train into NYC, luckily not getting on my train, but having to share my waiting space. So, Mr. Construction worker, offers a rather crude comment about the banana I was eating. Yah, I knew better then to eat a banana in public, but I was hungry. I chose to ignore him and drink my coffee. I walked over to the trash and as I did, he made another crude comment about my butt, it's too freakin' early for this... I ignored that too.*

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught this rather large, solidly build fella, also munching on a banana. Now this guy could kick Mr Construction Worker clear into next week, so, never having claimed to be a nice person, I looked at Mr. Construction Worker, and said to him, g'head, make the same comment about eating a banana to him, I dare you... I heard him mutter something to the effect Fuck you, bitch as I skipped off. I did have the self control not to say, best fuck you'll never have, bucko. I didn't think that wise, but just the thought of it made me laugh, have I mentioned lately how much I truly despise people, but they sure are entertaining.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-14-2004, 11:29 AM   #65 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
Now this guy could kick Mr Construction Worker clear into next week, so, never having claimed to be a nice person, I looked at Mr. Construction Worker, and said to him, g'head, make the same comment about eating a banana to him, I dare you... I heard him mutter something to the effect Fuck you, bitch as I skipped off. I did have the self control not to say, best fuck you'll never have, bucko.
This is hilarious. I don't think I could have thought of a response that good. Wish I could have seen the dumbhead's face after your comment. Thanks for sharing.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-15-2004, 02:40 PM   #66 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
WhoHoooo!! He he! We are Homeowners. We signed the papers. We own a house. We have our own home now! This is sweet!.

Here's it's pics. .
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Last edited by raeanna74; 09-15-2004 at 02:47 PM..
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-15-2004, 02:41 PM   #67 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Congratulations-- that is so exciting for you... Enjoy it-- and enjoy no longer paying rent....
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-15-2004, 03:25 PM   #68 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
raeanna - way to go! I knew ya'd get there. Persistence pays off!
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-15-2004, 03:26 PM   #69 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
The body’s demands are sometimes overwhelming and undeniable. The times when it says “PAIN” unrelentingly, for example. We’ve done some reading up on root canals, their ways of going awry, and the remedies that can be executed lately and it isn’t entertaining reading. I am afflicted with what dentists refer to as “exquisite pain.” It is the result of two failed root canals performed on he same tooth. It is the kind of pain that one recoils from when it is experienced momentarily. I’ve had it for weeks. When pain such as this becomes habitual in a certain region of the jaw, it is sometimes untreatable. I’ve taken more painkillers than Rush Limbaugh on a bad day and the pain stays put.

Today I went an endodontist for an evaluation – having been referred here by the dentist whose root canals failed. The endodontist referred me to an oral surgeon but I can’t get evaluated until Monday – 5 more days of this pain till then. And after that, I’ll wait until the actually surgery for relief – if the surgery is successful, that is.

Meanwhile my body is bloated from the painkillers that don’t work very well and which mess up my ability to sleep and my ability to think. It’s all gotten to the point where it’s threatening to defeat my state of mind. Predictably, I suppose. That’s the nature of unrelenting pain, isn’t it?
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-15-2004, 04:45 PM   #70 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Artelevision - I had the pain from a neglected cavity for a week and I could hardly sleep with it. Sorry to hear about the trouble. I hope the surgeon can schedule you a surgery quickly and that it's successful.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:09 AM   #71 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Dating on the Web...

So the other day I bitched about the quality experience of my online dating life, so someone had recommended a site called E-Harmony to me. I've seen the ads, it sounded like a good idea... That's where my problems begin... When things sounds like a good idea.

So, I toddled over to the site, and filled out a lengthy profile, which it told me lots of stuff about myself, mainly that I'm pretty boring... but that's OK...

It found me no matches... Which led me to believe that I am a loser as well as boring... So figuring that it required to be fed, in order to get some responses, I signed up for a month or two. Money talks as they say.

Well, I actually got a response from someone at EHarmony, I guess paying them some money makes a difference. It was from Michael, somewhere in NY State. Michael wanted to bypass the initial stages of Eharmony, which is a question and answer thing, he wanted to Fast Track. So he sent me a message. What'd the message say?

Hi! I'm a dominant male, are you submissive?

My response back, after I edited it about 12 times, well, darlin, not to be rude, but if you have to tell me that you are dominant, and you aren't trusting my intelligence to figure it out on my own, then you probably aren't. So in answer to your question, probably not, because I'm not on my knees saying Yes, Master. (I didn't add in, but really wanted to say thanks for playing our game)

Apparently I'm not as rude as I think I am, or Michael is really a glutton for punishment. I didn't scare him off, yet. He has asked for a picture, so that'll scare him off plenty fast.*

I don't suppose he'd like the orange haired picture.*

This is really what dating has come to? Hey baby, I'm dominant? Ignore response. Send me your picture (basically, if you're hot, I can forgive the brattiness?) I give up, I think it's time to join a convent.*
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:20 AM   #72 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
ahahahaha the idea of you being submissive cracks me up...

I thought the it was magenta, not orange...and you never posted the pic of the back of your head!!!
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:24 AM   #73 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Yes I did - it's in the other page
but here they are again --

I never did get the pink - these weret taken the same day -in different light... (Oscar is back this weekend - and I am about to do some major grovelling to have it fixed)


__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:31 AM   #74 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
Good to see the back of your head. Thanks!
Hey, color is color, there's all kinds of colors out there. A matter of personal style as to which is best, I guess.
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:41 AM   #75 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
The Tooth, Nothing But the Tooth

Real hurting night last night. Way little sleep. Drugged up bigtime. Had another "screw this" epiphany. But still, over a thousand bucks into this tooth, I tried one more time to save it. Went to the oral surgery establishment for yet one more consultation. Somewhere in the middle of hearing about how there are no guarantees with a surgical solution, I decided on the solution with the highest possibility of success. I let the oral surgeon complete his disclaimers anbd then said, "I think it's time to take out the tooth. Can you do that?"
"Yes," he said.
"Now?," I asked.
"Yes," he said.

Done!
__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:45 AM   #76 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Has the pain subsided any? Or are you on happy pills from the extraction?

(Think of all the time you'll save with one less tooth to brush...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:46 AM   #77 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by ARTelevision
Good to see the back of your head. Thanks!
Hey, color is color, there's all kinds of colors out there. A matter of personal style as to which is best, I guess.
There's style and there's freakishly orange -- I'm too old to carry of a color that's not found in nature
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 01:24 PM   #78 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
Yes I did - it's in the other page
but here they are again --

I never did get the pink - these weret taken the same day -in different light... (Oscar is back this weekend - and I am about to do some major grovelling to have it fixed)


if it was Nickolodeon Orange we'd have to file an injunction....
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 02:33 PM   #79 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Quote:
Originally Posted by ARTelevision
[B]..."I think it's time to take out the tooth. Can you do that?"
"Yes," he said.
"Now?," I asked.
"Yes," he said.

Done!
Got mine out only a week ago and I'm eating pretty much normally now. It was worth it. Almost don't notice that it's gone. There's not the same sensitivity. Granted I can't chew quite that far back yet but that's to be expected. I really hope this solves the pain issue for ya. Good Luck.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 02:51 PM   #80 (permalink)
I change
 
ARTelevision's Avatar
 
Location: USA
Thanks maleficent and raeanna,
Yes. The particular excruciating pain that has focused my existence for the past several weeks is gone - gone the way of the tooth, which I have here in a reliquary envelope - since I'm still paying for the root canals and crown that accessorize it.

The minor throbbing from the extraction is a little vienna sausage of pain compared to the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile of torment I've been riding around in all this time...

__________________
create evolution
ARTelevision is offline  
 

Tags
journal, linear, thread


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:27 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360