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Old 08-26-2004, 09:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Just coughed...blew chow into my mouth

WTF?!?! I'm sitting here minding my own business, making some posts, I take a brief sip of water and instead of drinking it I breathed it in. The ensuing events can only be described as absolutely horrific.

Not wanting to spew water and saliva all over my monitor and keyboard, I "wisely" stifled the initial cough only to discover my mistake too late. That initial cough would surely have freed me from the inevitable catastrophe that was to follow. I started coughing uncontrollably, and then the wretching started, followed by more uncontrollable coughing...deep coughing, like into your small intestine coughing.

As I realized that I was passed the point of no return, I turned away from the computer. At that point, the frozen pizza I had for dinner made a round trip from my stomach into my mouth and back...delightful. The best part is that not all of it made it back down. I had a decision to make and not a lot of time to make it...spit the chunks on the floor or swallow them back down after collecting them one at a time with my tongue. I chose the latter. Not even Mama Celeste can make a pizza that tastes good twice...I'm here to testify.
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Old 08-26-2004, 09:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
beauty in the breakdown
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA





OK, Im drunk.
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Old 08-26-2004, 09:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
"Afternoon everybody." "NORM!"
 
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Location: Poland, Ohio // Clarion University of PA.
I gotta say... That sucks.

Other than maybe dieing, stuff going down the wrong pipe has to be the crappiest thing that ever happens to you physically, that has nothing to do with virus/disease.
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Old 08-26-2004, 09:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: California
oh man lol live and learn
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Old 08-27-2004, 12:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
That's what hats were invented for...
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Old 08-27-2004, 01:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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I'm sorry, but if you drown in a glass of water, I'd have to nominate you for the Darwin awards.
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Old 08-27-2004, 01:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: PDX
Quote:
Originally Posted by wrkime
Not even Mama Celeste can make a pizza that tastes good twice...I'm here to testify.
Can Mama Celeste make a frozen pizza that tastes good at least once? So far, all the frozen pizza I've had tastes like crap.
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Old 08-27-2004, 05:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
Loser
 
YES!!!!! YES!!!! THAT ROCKS!!!!! *head bangs*
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Old 08-27-2004, 12:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
HeadyIncognito : Not so much, but it beats being hungry.

fhqwhgads: I would think it would have only garnered an honorable mention at best.

Fremen: Sadly no hats were available, nor was a garbage can.
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Old 08-27-2004, 12:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
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Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
It is a pity that you had no baby birds nearby to feed.
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Old 08-29-2004, 02:15 AM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
Lesson, if you need to cough, cough. Else you invite disaster.
An ex of mine was eating at an easter lunch thing and accidentaly inhaled a piece of fry, instead of coughing an corrceting it, she tok a few depe breathes, and regained her composure, as to not embarrass her or her family. Fast forward a wek and a half... shes in the hospital with a horrbile infection in her lung, spent about 6 days there. Then another couple weeks on meds to clear up all the other problems that infected potatoe chunk caused. All could've been avoided by a few good hacks.
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Old 08-29-2004, 07:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
was it a really acidic taste 2nd time 'round?


and........did your eyes water?
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Old 08-29-2004, 11:08 AM   #13 (permalink)
Llama
 
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Location: Cali-for-nye-a
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeadyIncognito
Can Mama Celeste make a frozen pizza that tastes good at least once? So far, all the frozen pizza I've had tastes like crap.
All I can say about that is "It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno!"
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Old 08-30-2004, 05:31 AM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: NC
Are we sure this isn't clavus posting as wrkime?
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Old 08-30-2004, 06:34 AM   #15 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyman
was it a really acidic taste 2nd time 'round?


and........did your eyes water?
Not too acidic...just that vomitish taste. Did my eyes water....hmmm, did my eyes water? They watered like they would if Mama Celeste had been taking me from behind.
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Old 08-30-2004, 06:36 AM   #16 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr sticky
Are we sure this isn't clavus posting as wrkime?
I will never, ever be as entertaining as Clavus, for a couple of reasons:
1. My life is fairly boring and uneventful...mostly.
2. I am not as good of a writer as Clavus...not even close, but thanks for the comparison.
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Old 08-30-2004, 09:54 AM   #17 (permalink)
face f$cker
 
Location: canada
now you've had a taste of what drowning is like! I still think it would be the worst way to go!
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Old 08-30-2004, 10:14 AM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
does laughing at you make me a bad person?
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Old 08-30-2004, 11:13 AM   #19 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
orphen, you laughing at me makes you normal...evil, but normal.
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Old 08-30-2004, 11:22 AM   #20 (permalink)
dnd
Psycho
 
Location: London...no longer a student
thats worse then when i sneezed lettuce out of my noise!
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Old 09-05-2004, 04:46 AM   #21 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Hawaii, at the moment..
That definetely has to be one of the worst posts I've ever read. But it entertains me so much at 2:45 in the morning.




Love this job...
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