every part of my body hurts now from cringing! great story, sorry that you had to experience that! :icare: you tell the best stories btw. thanks again for sharing.

Damn,son, you made my foot hurt so bad that I have got to
go get a double scotch and water to kill the sympaty pains..:D

Holy smokes I am in pain at this moment from just reading this.. and I haven't even seen the pictures!

Edit: Wow just saw the pictures.. it really is like you have a vagina in your foot.

Dude thats fuckin awesome!

Good god, I've never read something so revolting, yet at the same time truly compelling.

Your foot needs a paid vacation to the Structural Paradise Resort, courtesy of all the doctors who dicked you over.

I feel for you on that one.

Clavus, are you a writer by trade?

you should be.

*shudder*

Hail Clavus!

I saw the wound. It was not arousing.
I read the story. It was enjoyable. I am glad you have recovered.
I hope the government did not insert some sort of tracking device in your foot. The malevelonet incompetence of your treatment smacks of a conspiracy.

Wrap that dog in aluminum foil.
-GH

Clavus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Holy shit, too weird...
 

I don't mean to ride your wave Clavus, but I had your injury split into two just around last Christmas.

1st. injury: One night, I'm going to bed and take my glass ashtray into the kitchen to empty. I set it on the counter and immediately think "I need light" so I turn and flip the switch. As I turn back the fucking inanimate (sp)object decides it's the appropriate time to try being animate and throws itself onto the floor directly in front of me, thus breaking itself into 3 large chunks. I, of course, instantly step on one of those chunks, resulting in mind-numbing pain followed instantly by a very loud "Oh, shit!". I should add at this point that I had been drinking for about 5 hours, just to give a sense of how bad the pain was to have cut through the booze. I fell to the floor and grabbed my foot, afraid to even look because of the foot wide pool of blood already in front of me on the kitchen floor.

But of course, look I did. "Oh, Jesus Christ!". It's pretty strange to see your own squeeky clean, white bones peeking out at you through your skin. DH wrapped my foot in a washcloth and bound it with electrical tape (he's an electrician :D ) and rushed me the three blocks to the E.R.. I had managed to sever the tendon in my middle toe. The recovery was nasty and still gives me trouble but suffice it to say, I was on crutches for almost a month and can now flip my hubby off with my left foot :p (due to the severed tendon, that toe won't move!).

2nd injury (hence the vagina looking part): A couple of days before my foot injury, I noticed a strange noise when I was standing up or sitting down. I finally realized it was coming from my ass :eek: . There was a spot on my left ass cheek that when touched produced a sloshing sound (reminded me of those water weenie things that were big in the 80's). I thought "O'kay it's a hemrroid" and waited to see if it would go away on it's own (I'm 33 and never had one before). Well, it didn't. It was still there when I sliced my toe and then a couple of days later pain from it came into the picture. I waited a couple of days through the pain hoping it would go away until I woke up one morning and with a lot of contortionism and a hand mirror, saw that it was really purple and angry at me for ignoring it for so long. I got into my dr. that afternoon and it turned out I had what's called a peri-anal abcess. Can happen to anyone from a toddler to elderly people and they don't know why it does.

Long story short, with nothing more than a little shot in the butt (it was actually located in my croch only about a half inch from my lips) the doctor proceeded to slice an inch and a half long incision into me to drain the abcess. Didn't hurt too much until he then went on to pack it with gauze. Now boys and girls can you say "holy shit that hurts like a motherfucker!!"? I sure did. I then, like you, had to do this to myself for a week straight...in my ass cheek. By the way, with this procedure, they don't stitch you up so you have a gapping surgical wound that has to heal on it's own (took mine about six months).

So, I had a severed tendon in my foot and a huge slice in my ass, therefore I couldn't stand or sit comfortably for nearly a month.

Not as nasty as what you went through Clavus, but close enough (and as unusual) that I just had to post! Glad you're healed now!
Ali

Clavus you have the best stories. Awesome yet scary read.

So, when you said "wrong hole!" during sex, you really meant it?

alicat - You were half an inch away from having your own cool/gross thread -
"It's like you have a vagina growing in your vagina"

Jolt - If I were a professional writer, I'd have to constantly injure or embarass myself for material. My muse wears wars a neck-brace and has toiletpaper perpetually stuck to his heel.

That is the first time I've ever felt like throwing up because of reading something.

Redlemon- What sex? ;) He was barred from that region for about 3 wks. for exactly that reason....eenie, meenie, minie, mo... :eek:

Clavus- :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

My sentiments exactly, I still feel like cringing tho.

my body when into unexplained shivers while reading that.

you kick ass... that is all

Both of these stories are just insane. Sounds like both of you went through months of hell.

Great story telling, gald your feeling better.

Ouch.. >.< ..

Can't seem to find the pictures.

Sad to say, I believe I may be at the beginning of that saga. I got a thorn in my foot rescuing a cat in a tree a month or so ago and I thought sus removed it but it has not healed. I'm hobbling around now and this thread has made me put off calling the Dr.

Well, I guess I need to call the Dr. It's getting the opposite of better.

You have my word that the minute I get over this stomach flu I will look up those pictures.

I'm not going anywhere near them for a while though. Reading that made me queasy.
Safe recovery!