MooseMan3000

I'm that idiot that calls and is practically drooling in the mouthpiece. GAH.

So basically, the internet has been out since Friday afternoon. I assumed on Friday it was a brief technical issue, but by today I was starting to wonder whether they'd shut it off for
*ahem* some reason. Anyway, I finally decide to call Road Runner support. This is basically the conversation.

Tech Support Guy: Thank you for calling blah blah.
Me: Hi, there seems to be some sort of outage in my Road Runner service.
Him: Is your cable working?
Me: My cable and my digital phone are both working correctly.
Him: Have you power cycled the modem?
Me: Yes, I've tried it several times.
Him: What kind of modem is it?
Me: Motorola PVB4200.
Him: Can you tell me what the lights on the modem are doing?
Me: The PC activity light is flashing, and the standby light is constantly on.
Him: ... Would you press the standby button?
Me: ... This modem has a fucking STANDBY BUTTON?
Him: Yes. Directly on top.
Me: ... It works now.
Him: Thank you for calling Road Runner nationwide technical support.


Oh. My. GOD.

How did I not see that button? Well, I did see that there was a button, I just didn't look closely at it. I assumed it was a power button. Man, I hope that guy got a laugh out of my call. I feel like I've wasted 5 minutes of his life.

Ah well.

exizldelfuego

That's gotta be one of the most ridiculous buttons in the world. Why would you want to put your cable modem on Standby? Like my stereo at my parents' house doesn't have a power light, it has a standby light. So when I turn it on, there is no light, and when I turn it off, a green standby light comes on. How's that for logic!

Anyways, as far as wasting the tech support's time, take from a tech support guy: you didn't. Your call was probably a breath of fresh air. Doing tech support over the phone sucks ass. It's like groping for a lightswitch in a pitch black room with crazy spikes on the wall... or something. Getting a real easy/silly call can be very relaxing.

Like a couple of weeks ago, some woman running Mac OS 9 calls phone support telling them that MS Excel crashed and now when she reboots her computer, it does the "repairing hard drive" thing and then crashes. So I head out there, sit down at her computer, reboot the computer, and sure enough, I can't move the mouse or anything. Well, I notice that the red light on the optical mouse isn't lighting up, look under the desk, and see the keyboard/mouse had been unplugged from the computer. Plug it back in, and everything is great. It's enough to make a guy feel superior when really, he just happened to look at the mouse.

spindles

Yep, you know you have been in computer support too long when you start sentences with "I know this sounds like a really stupid question but..."

I've (seriously) had people ring up and end up finding their "dead" computer was not plugged into the monitor.

Don't worry Moose - I've accidentally hit that button before - didn't get as far as ringing support, though

strife

Yeah, on our modem, we have a 'internet off' button. What a waste of a button.

__________________
You are what you love, not what loves you.

strife

irseg

My dad has a coffee maker with a built-in grinder (it calls it a mill). If you want to use pre-ground coffee you have to press a button which deactivates the mill. The stupid part is this also turns on a "mill" light, so you have to make sure the mill light is on to make sure it won't turn on.

I used to work in tech support. I liked those kinds of calls because I'd be off the phone in 30 seconds. People who overlooked a Standby button were not a problem. People with tons of problems who kept me on the phone for upwards of an hour trying to figure out what they managed to screw up were the real enemy.

nothingx

This exact thing happened to me once when I was living with my parents. At some point, my mom decided to dust around my computer area and accidently hit the standby button. I went though the exact same process of rebooting and unplugging for a day or two before figuring it out.

I'm not mad at them for putting the button on there. Its that its *SO* damn sensitive that bothers me.

maleficent

you got your problem solved, that's why tech support is there...

And you probably got a great entry in the internal, "You won't beleive the call I got" database that's used for grins and giggles.

__________________

kurty[B]

Yeah, working tech support, those calls are definitely a relief. It's even better when they come right after having been on the phone with an hour+ long problem, that just racked your brain.

If there's any sort of "customer experience survey" fill it out, give him some great kudos (it might've been a silly short call), but that kudos will help him out!

KirStang

Haha reminds me once of what happened.

My DSL service and modem was not working, so i jumped under my desk (humongous tangle of wires there) and checked each phone line connection, even reset the modem a couple of times, but the "broadband connection" light on my modem just refused to go green. Finally, out of frustration, i called tech support:

"Hello, thank you for calling bellsouth tech support"
"Yea, my modem is not connecting with the broadband, is the service down? (it happens *sometimes*)"
"Hrm...well sir have you checked all your telephone wires?"
"Yea..."
"All of them?"
::Glance at telephone wire leading from main jack in to surge protector, where the rest of the phone lines were connected; it was not plugged in::
"Ohhh yea....duh...ok, thanks"

Man did i feel like an idiot

__________________

Harshaw

As ex-tech support, I loved these calls. Any problem I could fix in under three minutes rocked. Normally because whoever was on the phone was off before they reached a "yelling" point.

__________________
This too shall pass.

bernadette

my husband started off in tech support.

even in real life situations, he now always initally asks, is it plugged in? or turned on?
85% of the time, that is the problem.

but we're all human.
sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

MSD

That is the most counterintuitive kitchen appliance ever.

ratbastid

You know, that standby button probably causes a significant percentage of that guy's calls. I'll bet you he never thought about you again--OR the dozen other guys with the same issue that he talked to that day.

I mean... A standby button! Who comes up with this stuff?

Pacifier

Yeah, I agree with ratbastid, that was a normal support call for the guy. And you were friendly and realised your error.
I'm working on a tech support line myself, there are a lot of customers who are worse, trust me.

__________________
"It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropological concept which I cannot take seriously. I also cannot imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere. Science has been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death
— Albert Einstein

NoSoup

At one point my speakers would not make any sound at all, so I decided to call tech support. I had attempted to change the settings, made sure everything was plugged in, ect before I called.

When I called, he asked for my OS, serial numbers from the back, ect. We chatted for almost an hour and a half, with most of that time being silent while he "checked into things"

I learned that he was Canadian, has 2 children, was recently divorced, works with only 1 other tech support guy, his desk was dark, he recently moved, and his car needed a new head gasket.

For goodness sake, why would I EVER need to know this information about the tech support guy I called. Finally, after an hour and a half of searching, we realized what a large part of the problem was, and why I was having difficulty doing what he was saying. He was giving me instructions for Windows ME and I had Windows 98.

At this point, I simply thanked him for his time and hung up....

__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...

hazelman

The "standby" light on stereo equipment actually makes some sense if you've ever set up a home theater. When you're watching a dark movie in a dark room, who wants a bright spot of red or green just below the television? A friend of mine had a nice HDTV projection set with a blinding red power light just below the picture...dumb! If I were him, I would have put a piece of electrical tape over it...but when you pay $2000+ for a television, you shouldn't have to do stuff like that!

haze

Redlemon

We had that exact coffeemaker in our office. It also had a pressure switch on the mill basket to ensure that it was closed properly; however, it was a bit askew, so you had to rest a coffeecup on top in order for the switch to be triggered. Someone finally replaced it.

Polyphobic

I am the backup IT person for our office. I'm more of a level 1 support. Anyhow, I do the same damn thing 1/3 of the time I need to ask our main IT boy for help. He starts explaining it and I respond with d'oh. No harm no foul. They enjoy easy questions.

__________________
<--The great infidel-->

Redlemon

I heard a story of one computer company that has the "tech support bear". Basically, before you ask for help from someone else, you have to sit down and explain your problem out loud to the stuffed animal. Much of the time, you can solve your problem just by taking the time to frame the question properly.

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

hrdwareguy

Tech support folks love the easy calls. As consumers we love the easy answers. What really sucks though is as a consumer you call tech support and know more than the tech does.

Case in point:

I am an IT Admin...run the network, mail server, phones...yadda yadda.

My road runner account wasn't working. If I tried to send mail to myself, it would bounce back and tell me the account did not exist. I call road runner....the tech at the local cable company couldn't figure it out so he bumps me up to road runner 1st line support.

I tell the story again, I can't send email to myself from a different account, it gets bounced back. The tech tells me I need to be in front of my computer at home so we can troubleshoot it to figure out why I'm not getting mail. At this point I have been on the phone far to long and tell him this, "Look sparky, this isn't rocket science. The problem is not with my machine at home, the problem is with your POP server not accepting email in my account." At which point he puts me on hold, then comes back and tells me he needs to transfer me to someone else but has to get his supervisors permission but it shouldn't be a problem in my case. The next guy hears the problem, puts me on hold, comes back in about 10 minutes, tells me my account had been deleted by some dumbass at the local cable company, puts me on hold again, comes back in like 5 with my account all set up.

I hate when techs don't listen to you or they read from a script and can't think on their own.

__________________
Gun Control is hitting what you aim at

Aim for the TFP, Donate Today

Polyphobic

That's exactly what our main IT person is used for. Half of the time I answer the question as I ask it. It'd be funny telling people to talk to a stuffed animal. Of course, half of the people in my office already talk to themselves or imaginary people.

__________________
<--The great infidel-->

Sue

I used to work in tech support... I did dial up, cable modem, landline, cellular, and paging (not the same company).

I have to say, being an ex-techie, I HATED hearing something along the lines of, "Listen, I'm a goddamn IT professional! THIS is the problem. NOW FIX IT!!"

Well geezus, if you know what the problem, suggest nicely without being rude that something should be checked with it....

I hated those calls so much...

__________________
Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

Polyphobic

Those people are probably the IT managers. They usually don't have a clue

__________________
<--The great infidel-->

billege

Brilliant, simply brilliant. Pretty much what I'd have said too. After reading your story I had to get up and look at my cable modem. I've never really looked at the front. Why would you?

This is how it went:
Move to Ohio.
Unload.
Unpack.
Call cable company.
Set up computers on desks.
Run cat5.
Pick up modem since line hooked up now.
Unpack modem.
Plug into router.
Plug into power.
Look at back of modem for power switch, isn't one.
Plug in, watch connect lights do their thing.
Done.

I'd never expect it to have a standby function, but now that I've looked I see it does. On the front bottom, labled "standby."
WTF it's for? I have no idea. Why would I put the modem on standby? Just in case I want to relive a dial up connection? Maybe I need more steps before using the enterweb? I dunno.

__________________
I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."

kurty[B]

It seems a frequent amount of the time I am the tech support bear. Client starts talking about their problem, and before I can even say anything "Oh, I see what I did wrong, thank you!" *click*. Thank you!!