analog

Everyone's body is different. Your grandmother's superhuman uterus and vaginal elasticity notwithstanding, there are literally dozens of factors that contribute to the ease, or hardship, of a pregnancy in each individual woman's body. They are hardly directly comparable.

oberon

That's just a spin on the story. It could very well be written in a different way that doesn't irritate you or anyone else outraged by this, and still be 100% true.

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dlish

i just wonder how the kid would feel when his parents tell him that his other siblings were killed so his mum could keep the apartment in manhatten and that the one being killed could easily have been him.

i see problems with this kid already.

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basmoq

For starters, my mother-in-law lives on staten Island, it isn't bad at all, for second, HOLY SHIT BATMAN, THIS WOMAN IS SELFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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highthief

Agreed 100%.

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blade02

I cant help but think of a whiney two year old going "but I dont wanna!!!" when I read this woman's so called thought process. Up until this point I've always let abortion be a non issue for me. I felt that as a man, I was somehow less qualified than women to vote on the issue. But if even a small fraction of women that have abortions go through the same "me, me, me" decision making process, then I will feel pretty good about casting my vote next time elections come around. This woman simply wanted to have her cake and eat it too. There are so many ways she could have avoided becoming pregnant so she really have NO excuse.

The issue with the boyfriend brings up another point. When it comes to abortion, guy has zero legal say in the matter. "Its the woman's body". "Its the woman's life" and other phrases come to mind. But when you mention child support, the man instantly has atleast %50 of the responsibility. How can you have faith in laws that have such huge contradictions? In either case, the man is villified, almost as he tricked the woman into having sex with him and that its his fault she's pregnant. In abortion the attitude seems to be "this man got me pregnant, now I get to decide if i go through giving birth or not". And with child support the laws seem to reflect the attitude of "well I decided to have the kid, im going to make the guy pay big time." Im not saying I have anything against child support, but rather pointing out how both abortion and child support laws contradict each other when it comes to a man's responsibility in the birth of a child.

AngelicVampire

Roe vs Wade allows her to make this decision freely, her body her choice, whether we agree or not is not an issue, however perhaps as Blade said it does make things seem rather out of place (the BF having no choice and he attitude despite people who would love to adopt the kids).

abaya

Fair 'nuff, I didn't intend for it to be a direct comparison... just wanted to say that I know people who have survived giving birth to multiples, and that it's not always a health issue. If she was poor, had little access to health care, etc... then I might understand.

I think we can say from the article that the woman's concern was not primarily her health.. it was her Manhattan lifestyle. If they had made a greater case in the article for her health and less about her material selfishness, then I would be more sympathetic.

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Sultana

I find myself uncharacteristically agreeing with Analog's observations here. I would not have attributed a pro-life attitude to this board, although I can't say as the topic of abortion has come up a lot. So abortion is OK as long as the woman isn't acting out of what is in your (general "your", here) opinion, selfish motivations?

I would liked to have seen more on the father's perspective. Who knows, it's *entirely* possible she wrote more in that vein, but for space constraints or whatever reason, the editor cut it out.

Yes, I agree she should have been more responsible about unprotected sex, but she didn't seem to want to prevent pregnancy at all, she just wasn't prepared for the extraordinarily miniscule chance of triplets. Of course, if it ran in her family she should have realized there was that chance. I wonder what she would have done with only twins?

As a side note, I don't really understand the "abortion is ok if the pregnancy or birth threatens the mother's life" idea. So life isn't life if it's dangerous to preserve it? Is it OK to let a person in a burning building die because it's very risky to others try to save them? I know that's not a great analogy, but work with me here.

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Jinn

I really don't see a problem with this choice at all.. perhaps I should stop calling myself pro-choice and more anti-life...

I really don't give a fuck what happens to these cells but I do care what happens to actual human beings.

So she saved herself and her potential child from a lot of heartache and a likely horrible life (nonwithstanding my opinion, she's still a crybaby) and in the process destroyed a few cells.. whoooopy doo.

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little_tippler

I am in favour of a woman being able to choose whether or not to have a child she is pregnant with. I would hope also that the women who make those decisions are responsible and mature enough to choose wisely. Of course that is not always true and some women will abuse that choice, but I still believe the choice should be available. I think when people refer to abortion as a means of birth control, they mean when people choose not to use contraception and then don't face the consequences of their choice.

I have to admit I found the description of how they would kill the foetuses in this story quite chilling. Yes it feels wrong - really wrong. I myself would probably have had the 3 babies, as I don't think I could live with the opposite decision, or its consequences. But I am in favour of choice. Within reason, a person should not be forced to do something they don't want to do.

Perhaps she is being selfish. We live in a selfish world, let's be realistic. Is it selfish to want to live your life as best as is possible for you? Is it selfish to want things for yourself? Her tone in that article is pretty self-centered, I agree. But on a softer level I'm sure most of the people here would have to admit that they all want something for themselves and sometimes the things they want will go against what someone else wants. Is that why it's selfish? I think the fact that the woman in this story is so direct and "brutally honest" as another poster said, is part of what makes everyone point her out as selfish.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

cellophanedeity

I'm fine with what she did, and the reasons why she did it. I would never make the same choice, but whatever.

If I was pregnant with triplets and I only wanted one, I'd remove all three and hope for better results later. I couldn't deal with choosing which to live.

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flstf

I always thought that the majority of abortions in the developed countries were lifestyle choices and a form of last chance birth control. It's not that most people can't afford to raise a child, it's that they don't want to. This woman is just being brutally honest.

Ustwo

A MAJORITY of Americans oppose abortion as a method of birth control.

It is only supported for the usual rape/incest/danger reasons.

This woman is poster child for why most Americans feel this way, she is everything thats wrong with modern society, all wrapped up in one neat fetus killing package.

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la petite moi

I don't get why everyone is freaking out over this woman's choice. She didn't want three babies, and didn't think she could raise them, then it was right for her to terminate two of the three fetuses.

I don't think it's selfish at all- in fact, she was probably doing the could-have-been triplets a favour.

connyosis

I agree fully. Isn't it better that she can give one kid a good childhood instead of a bad childhood for three of them? Geez, some people are making it sound like she had two babies taken out back and shot in the head.

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Ustwo

Did you READ the article? It has NOTHING to do with her not able to raise the children or them having a 'bad' childhood. Nothing.

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Cynthetiq

she basically did, not as graphic as that, but did eenie minie moe catch a tiger by the toe, my mother said to pick the very best one and you are not it.

As a man who's g/f aborted a child that he wanted to keep and raise, I wonder what could have been with that child. I'd have a 16 year old now, I'd be concerned about going to college, worrying about him/her going out with friends driving drunk etc.

But I wonder what could have been...

If this were me, I'd wonder if I picked the right one...

and I'm not even sure about the missing other 2 for the triplet as they say some twins that lose there other somehow don't feel complete...

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martinguerre

i think the last few comments are the most illustrative.

i don't always think this discussion is entirely centered on "the fetus/child/whatever" but much more so on the "what ifness" of the decision, and the reflection (or naval gazing if you care to be critical) that our society engages/indulges in.

some folks are very moved and challenged, in some cases paralyzed, by such what if questions, others are not...

and i almost wonder if that preference is what we're trying to codify here.

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connyosis

From the article:
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?

This part says to me that she felt she could not handle three kids at once. She had no problem with having a baby, just not more than that. Sure, I'll agree that there is a selfish tone in what she says. I would still say it has a LOT to do with her not being able to, or atleast fearing not being able to raise that many children at once.

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connyosis

I understand how people can feel this way, but for me personally I don't think I would spend much time thinking about what could have been, I'd try to focus more on what actually is.

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Babes

I agree. It's blunt but true.

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Cynthetiq

I do focus on what is. I try very hard to not live in fairy tales and what ifs.

But once in a while, particularly on Father's Day, I wonder. It doesn't have to be long, it could even just be for a few minutes.

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msh58

feel bad for the stand alone kid who has to live with her. Hope he can find access to potassium chloride soon and do it to himself.