Anyone else here take a good long time before their first girlfriend / boyfriend? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

brknkybrd · 07-18-2004, 12:58 PM

Anyone else here take a good long time before their first girlfriend / boyfriend?

I did! My 28th birthday was in June, and my first girfriend came into my life just this month. Took a while -- most of my friends met someone way back in high school, or at least university / college.

Do I care? I used to -- I got angry, bitter, and said all sorts of horrible things about myself. Then, I stopped taking things so seriously, and allowed myself not to compare, worry, or complain.

So no, I don't care that it took me longer! Was it worth the wait?

You better believe it.

So, the best advice I can give the perpetually single is this -- the longer it takes you, the better it is when it finds you. So take your time, smile at people, don't go looking for a mate in every single mildly attractive member of the opposite (or same) gender. You can afford to be picky.

Speed_Gibson · 07-18-2004, 01:51 PM

that would be yes - still 'taking a long time' at 27

Rodney · 07-18-2004, 01:57 PM

Yeah. When you're ready, you're ready. Not before. Other people's experiences don't apply.

Jesus Pimp · 07-18-2004, 02:12 PM

I didn't start dating till I was 18 freshmen year of college. My first girlfriend was 3 years older than me. I felt like the man. I'm kind of glad I didn't have to deal with stupid high school girls.

DelayedReaction · 07-18-2004, 03:41 PM

I didn't start dating until 18 as well, and at 21 I haven't had anything that would be serious enough to consider a girlfriend.

Do I mind? At times when I get lonely, sure. Right now I'm more concerned about getting my BS and Masters, so my social life is pretty much on hold at the moment.

Trisk · 07-18-2004, 08:52 PM

I didn't wait too long and this might be stupid to ask...but weren't you guys sort of scared to go into a relationship with so little experience?
At 16, I was terrified that I was going to be a bad kisser and thought that if I didn't get some experience before 17, I wouldn't be able to keep any guys because they would be disgusted by my horrible kissing.
I think it's sort of funny now...but I'm curious as to whether any of you dealt with any of those fears (which, perhaps, stopped you from getting into relationships before you did)?

analog · 07-18-2004, 10:15 PM

I didn't date, kiss, or even hold hands with a girl uintil i was just about 18.

DelayedReaction · 07-18-2004, 11:13 PM

Well yeah it's scary, but I've never let it get to me. It's not like I had an alternative; I'm just not that heavily into dating.

Stuff like sex and kissing isn't that big of a deal to me. My first kiss was at 18, and at 21 I'm told I'm a damn good kisser (among other things). It's more important to be with someone you mesh with; to be in a relationship that's mutually beneficial.

flamingdog · 07-19-2004, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Trisk
I didn't wait too long and this might be stupid to ask...but weren't you guys sort of scared to go into a relationship with so little experience?
At 16, I was terrified that I was going to be a bad kisser and thought that if I didn't get some experience before 17, I wouldn't be able to keep any guys because they would be disgusted by my horrible kissing.
I think it's sort of funny now...but I'm curious as to whether any of you dealt with any of those fears (which, perhaps, stopped you from getting into relationships before you did)?

See if you ask me, that pretty much encapsulates the reason it takes so long for some guys (and though I'm prepared to accept this is a universal thing, I think women have it easier than guys in this respect) that the lack of action becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy and it gets harder and harder to break.

Oh yeah, I was 21.

Polyphobic · 07-19-2004, 10:41 AM

17 or 18. I'm a bit on the shy side.

TheDave87 · 07-20-2004, 01:47 AM

i was 17 when i got my first girlfriend. 16 when i first started dating

Scabs the Clown · 07-20-2004, 06:55 AM

I was 20 when I had my first date and kiss. At the time it seemed late but looking back it I think it was good for me. It gave me a chance to grow up for a couple of years in college and learn some things about myself before I tackled a relationship.

laconic1 · 07-20-2004, 07:14 AM

25 and still waiting.

slimpi66y · 07-20-2004, 08:47 AM

Word bud,

when I was 28, I was a fairly decent looking, well-dressed guy, making a fair bit of money and have a lot of friends, no steady girlfriend but was able to get laid quite a bit, was never worried about meeting the right person cuz I didn't think I need to, I was finanically secured and didn't need some chick bitching at me like she has a right to.

went past 30 no problem, at 35 I met this woman who was practically godsend.

today I have two little devils who likes Hilary Duff and wants to go to ballet school

Quote:

Originally posted by brknkybrd
Anyone else here take a good long time before their first girlfriend / boyfriend?

I did! My 28th birthday was in June, and my first girfriend came into my life just this month. Took a while -- most of my friends met someone way back in high school, or at least university / college.

Do I care? I used to -- I got angry, bitter, and said all sorts of horrible things about myself. Then, I stopped taking things so seriously, and allowed myself not to compare, worry, or complain.

So no, I don't care that it took me longer! Was it worth the wait?

You better believe it.

So, the best advice I can give the perpetually single is this -- the longer it takes you, the better it is when it finds you. So take your time, smile at people, don't go looking for a mate in every single mildly attractive member of the opposite (or same) gender. You can afford to be picky.

THGL · 07-20-2004, 10:33 AM

I was 23 when I had my first official girlfriend. I had enough dates in high school and college so I wasn't a complete doofus around women, it just took awhile to find a girl who clicked with me.

SpikeQX99 · 07-20-2004, 04:14 PM

25 Here and still no "official" girlfriend. I have someone I see occasionally, but more as just friends hanging out.

I don't really have time, or the real want sometimes to go out and look for one, or try to keep one happy or whatever, but then sometimes, I'm just plain lonely and think about how nice it would be to have a G/F...

Such is life I guess....

MSD · 07-20-2004, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by analog
I didn't date, kiss, or even hold hands with a girl uintil i was just about 18.

Same here, but 20 instead of 18

edit: clarification: 20 and counting

Arsenic7 · 07-20-2004, 08:41 PM

19 - first kiss
20 - girlfriend

It's not a big deal when i think about it but I WOULD have liked to be more social when I was in highschool.

ibis · 07-20-2004, 08:49 PM

20 till first kiss and offical girlfriend.
21 till sex.
Currently 21.

I was a frustrated teenager with a confidence problem. It ended up all good though

Y2KDREAD · 07-20-2004, 08:56 PM

19 year old guy, never had a girlfriend or done any of the things you would do with one. I would love to have one but I am very shy and don't ask girls out. I allways hope a girl will ask me out (being that I am a fairly good looking guy), but I don't think many girls like going up to quiet guys and asking them out.

Dwayne · 07-21-2004, 06:40 AM

I didnt get a girl until age 17 but her and I are still together and going strong. If you wait youll end up with a girl better than any you would have ever thought.

xjumper84 · 07-21-2004, 08:15 PM

i haven't had a gf either. sitting here at 19.. although on some late drunk nights last semester i found myself playing suck face among other things.

i find myself lately hanging out with the younger crowd (16-17) and its gotten pretty bad.. i need to hang out with people my own age again.. i can't be running after these fresh high school beauties.

djtestudo · 07-21-2004, 08:17 PM

I'm 21 and counting. I'm a very shy person, which I believe is part of it.

07-18-2004, 12:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
brknkybrd I think I broke something. Location: Right behind you.	Anyone else here take a good long time before their first girlfriend / boyfriend? Anyone else here take a good long time before their first girlfriend / boyfriend? I did! My 28th birthday was in June, and my first girfriend came into my life just this month. Took a while -- most of my friends met someone way back in high school, or at least university / college. Do I care? I used to -- I got angry, bitter, and said all sorts of horrible things about myself. Then, I stopped taking things so seriously, and allowed myself not to compare, worry, or complain. So no, I don't care that it took me longer! Was it worth the wait? You better believe it. So, the best advice I can give the perpetually single is this -- the longer it takes you, the better it is when it finds you. So take your time, smile at people, don't go looking for a mate in every single mildly attractive member of the opposite (or same) gender. You can afford to be picky. __________________ Normal is overrated.

07-18-2004, 01:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
Speed_Gibson Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Location: right here of course	that would be yes - still 'taking a long time' at 27 __________________ Started talking to yourself I see. Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation. Black Adder

07-18-2004, 02:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	I didn't start dating till I was 18 freshmen year of college. My first girlfriend was 3 years older than me. I felt like the man. I'm kind of glad I didn't have to deal with stupid high school girls. __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

07-18-2004, 03:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
DelayedReaction BFG Builder Location: University of Maryland	I didn't start dating until 18 as well, and at 21 I haven't had anything that would be serious enough to consider a girlfriend. Do I mind? At times when I get lonely, sure. Right now I'm more concerned about getting my BS and Masters, so my social life is pretty much on hold at the moment. __________________ If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

07-18-2004, 11:13 PM	#8 (permalink)
DelayedReaction BFG Builder Location: University of Maryland	Well yeah it's scary, but I've never let it get to me. It's not like I had an alternative; I'm just not that heavily into dating. Stuff like sex and kissing isn't that big of a deal to me. My first kiss was at 18, and at 21 I'm told I'm a damn good kisser (among other things). It's more important to be with someone you mesh with; to be in a relationship that's mutually beneficial. __________________ If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

07-18-2004, 01:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Yeah. When you're ready, you're ready. Not before. Other people's experiences don't apply.

07-18-2004, 08:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
Trisk Insane	I didn't wait too long and this might be stupid to ask...but weren't you guys sort of scared to go into a relationship with so little experience? At 16, I was terrified that I was going to be a bad kisser and thought that if I didn't get some experience before 17, I wouldn't be able to keep any guys because they would be disgusted by my horrible kissing. I think it's sort of funny now...but I'm curious as to whether any of you dealt with any of those fears (which, perhaps, stopped you from getting into relationships before you did)?

07-18-2004, 10:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
analog Banned	I didn't date, kiss, or even hold hands with a girl uintil i was just about 18.

07-19-2004, 10:41 AM	#10 (permalink)
Polyphobic Runt Location: Denver	17 or 18. I'm a bit on the shy side. __________________ <--The great infidel-->

07-20-2004, 01:47 AM	#11 (permalink)
TheDave87 Psycho Location: The Amish Wastelands of Ohio	i was 17 when i got my first girlfriend. 16 when i first started dating __________________ Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window!

07-20-2004, 06:55 AM	#12 (permalink)
Scabs the Clown Upright Location: Madison, WI	I was 20 when I had my first date and kiss. At the time it seemed late but looking back it I think it was good for me. It gave me a chance to grow up for a couple of years in college and learn some things about myself before I tackled a relationship.

07-20-2004, 07:14 AM	#13 (permalink)
laconic1 Junkie	25 and still waiting.

07-20-2004, 10:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
THGL Psycho Location: Louisville, KY	I was 23 when I had my first official girlfriend. I had enough dates in high school and college so I wasn't a complete doofus around women, it just took awhile to find a girl who clicked with me. __________________ "The truth is merely an excuse for lack of imagination." - Garak

07-20-2004, 04:14 PM	#16 (permalink)
SpikeQX99 The Best thing that never happened to you Location: Silverdale, WA	25 Here and still no "official" girlfriend. I have someone I see occasionally, but more as just friends hanging out. I don't really have time, or the real want sometimes to go out and look for one, or try to keep one happy or whatever, but then sometimes, I'm just plain lonely and think about how nice it would be to have a G/F... Such is life I guess.... __________________ I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

07-20-2004, 08:41 PM	#18 (permalink)
Arsenic7 Insane Location: Corvallis, OR.	19 - first kiss 20 - girlfriend It's not a big deal when i think about it but I WOULD have liked to be more social when I was in highschool. __________________ This is no sig.

07-21-2004, 08:17 PM	#23 (permalink)
djtestudo Baltimoron Location: Beeeeeautiful Bel Air, MD	I'm 21 and counting. I'm a very shy person, which I believe is part of it. __________________ "Final thought: I just rented Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Frankly, it was the worst sports movie I've ever seen." --Peter Schmuck, The (Baltimore) Sun

07-20-2004, 08:49 PM	#19 (permalink)
ibis PIKE!	20 till first kiss and offical girlfriend. 21 till sex. Currently 21. I was a frustrated teenager with a confidence problem. It ended up all good though

07-20-2004, 08:56 PM	#20 (permalink)
Y2KDREAD Crazy Location: College Station, TX	19 year old guy, never had a girlfriend or done any of the things you would do with one. I would love to have one but I am very shy and don't ask girls out. I allways hope a girl will ask me out (being that I am a fairly good looking guy), but I don't think many girls like going up to quiet guys and asking them out. __________________ Signatures are for chumps.

07-21-2004, 06:40 AM	#21 (permalink)
Dwayne Crazy Location: New England	I didnt get a girl until age 17 but her and I are still together and going strong. If you wait youll end up with a girl better than any you would have ever thought.

07-21-2004, 08:15 PM	#22 (permalink)
xjumper84 Upright	i haven't had a gf either. sitting here at 19.. although on some late drunk nights last semester i found myself playing suck face among other things. i find myself lately hanging out with the younger crowd (16-17) and its gotten pretty bad.. i need to hang out with people my own age again.. i can't be running after these fresh high school beauties.