Uncomfortable movie episode!
 

Okay...perhaps I'm just being a little weird but I don't think so.

Yesterday I went to the movies right after work on a whim. I went to see "King Arthur". I get my popcorn and drink and find an empty seat towards the front of the theatre smack dab in the middle of the screen. I was happy. There were 4 empty seats on both sides of me and plenty of leg room. So now here's where it gets strange.

A dude comes in and he sits two seats to my left. Right as the movie's about to start, he leans over and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to me. Now I'm thinking that he's got friends coming so I just say "No". He then gets up and sits in the seat DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME! Now there are 4 empty seats to my right and opposite him there are 4 empty seats to his left.

Now the only thing I could think of why he would sit directly next to me when there were plenty of empty seats around us is that either:

A) The dude is very anal about being as close to the center of the screen as possible.
B) He was planning on hitting on me. Or...
C) He didn't want to look like he was seeing a movie alone and figured if he sat next to me it would look like we were together.

Now...I don't know about everyone else but...I don't even sit directly next to my guy FRIENDS when we go to the movies together! It's all about personal space when men hang so why would this dude think that sitting next to me would be okay when there were plenty of empty seats all around us?? I mean...WHAT THE HELL!?!?

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Could be he liked the view better from that seat. *shrug*

True but where's the social convention? You don't sit directly next to a dude that you don't know at a movie theatre unless there's no other choice.

It's like when you go to the bathroom and you're using the urinals. You wouldn't choose one directly next to a dude if there are other empty ones to use. It's just not right. :cool:

I would have just moved over one more, he would get the hint.

Or just make up some lie, say you cant stand being close to people.

Who knew that boys had so many rules, gawrshI thought women were bad. We learn so much here.

Maybe you just smelled really good.
Or maybe he's a big wuss and thought the movie was going to be scary and just wanted someone to protect him.

were you worried about what other people might think having you sit so close to another man?

You are comfortable with your own sexuality, so why does it really matter, if he hits on you? eh, you have something to laugh about later on....

yeah, as always, I would have struck up a conversation with the stranger. talking to strangers is one of my favorite things to do.

Its more of a common courtesy than a rule. We like our personal space, take up both armrests, just plain not having to worry about anyone else next to us. Only reason it doesn't apply to girls is because another part of our anatomy takes over and overrides those thoughts.

Personally, I would've been freaked the hell out just because of the weirdness of the situation, and if you're near the center anyone, one seat doesn't matter near enough for something like crowding in on people.

And as for the urinal space rule, its just something you witness and learn growing up. Except for dire situations, you wait in line rather than use adjacent urinals. In a three-urinal bathroom, this usually results in only the outer two urinals being used the huge majority of the time.

Which is all well and fine. After all, a stranger is just a friend that you haven't met yet. However...I have to agree with Gjefflin, that there is an invisible "buffer zone", and...no...absolutely, under no circumstances is it permissable to converse with a stranger at the urinal wall. Unless, of course, they're peeing on your shoe, or something. Other than that...uh uh. I don't see it so much as questioning one's sexuality, so much as I see it as a matter of territory. That's human nature. Or, at least, that's male nature. I dunno.

I thought about moving over but then I was like "F*CK HIM!!! He's not making me move out of my center of the screen seat!" hehehehe

And as far as the lie...I was so confused and flabbergasted aboput what was happening, I couldn't think of one.

thats pretty odd. I mean, its like on a bus, if there is seat, you dont go sit next to someone, unless you know them.

In the gym the other day some guy asked me to "spot" him, I thought he was making a pass at me and I was like "Im sorry, Im not into that sort of thing", but it turns out he just wanted me to hekp him lift weights or something.

Yeah, not to get too off topic, but spotting is bascially just helping someone make sure they don't kill themselves lifting. You just stand there and if they can't get the weight up you help them get it safely back onto the rack.

Though I do think it would've been funny to see his reaction to your "not into that sort of thing" comment.

Good analogy with the bus.

Similar to the urinal "code of ethics" ... if theres an empty urinal on the other side then that's the one the guy should take. Not the empty one right next to me.

Cinema seats are a bit different, though, it's not like you're using that space right next to you, and it's his right to sit there if he wants. Your attention is focused forward, so who gives a fuck who's sitting next to you? I mean, maybe he could have asked if you minded him sitting there to give you the right of refusal, but really, it's not your space to defend, so what so you care?

I personally can't stand having someone near me, I hate being touched, breathed on, hearing human functions unless expressly invited near me. So I probably would have moved elsewhere....

However, when people are near me, the thought would never have entered my mind that it was for the express purpose to hit on me.

Was there some other signal that he sent that made you think that he was going to hit on you?

About the urinal analogy here's the basics : http://www.flasharcade.com/game.cgi?urinal

It is pretty wierd behaviour to invade someone elses personal space just like that. You better have a good reason for doing so if you don't want to be classified as a wierdo.

Maybe he was hoping you would share your popcorn with him.

I would have just been happy that he didn't sit in the seat directly in front of me and block my view.

LOL! Yeah...we do have a lot of rules. I don't know what his deal was but it wasn't that I was worried about the perception of us being thought of as a couple. I have no homophobia. It's just the fact that it's the whole "Elbow Room" theory. I like my personal space and it was violated when it didn't have to be.

Nah. I went alone so that I didn't HAVE to talk to anyone. Just sit quietly and watch the movie. Besides...if I tried to talk to him...he probably would've thought I was trying to pick him up. LOL!! :p

Exactly!!! It's all about personal space.

I almost freaked out for a hot second but then shook it off since I wanted to enjoy the movie. I mean...what do you say to someone when they do that? "Yo dude. Move back over!"?? He could just say "Hey. I paid just like you did so if you're uncomfortable with me sitting here then YOU move."

So....I just put it out of my mind after a few minutes and just dealt with it. Still kinda weird though.

Thank you VERY MUCH Bill. You've said it exactly.

Maybe he was taking the theater rule "move to the middle" to seriously?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Yeah...not for nothin'...but uhh...I wouldn't have spotted him either. A strange dude's crotch hanging over your face while you're grunting? :D

Well that's why I didn't say anything. Because it "is" a free seating arrangement and he paid just like I paid. But my issue is not that he has the right to sit there, the issue is that he had no "Personal space" concerns that most of us have. We've been taught that since Kindergarten! Remember when the teacher would say "Size places" and you would stick your hand out in front of you and the person in back of you would do the same so that you were all at least a hands length away from each other when you walked the halls or went on a fire drill? Personal space man! That's what it's all about.

Actually after the first five minutes I didn't feel like he was gonna hit on me because if he was...he would've already tried the minute he moved over. After the first five minutes, I just felt that he wanted to be the closest to the center of the screen as possible. But...it was still annoying.

If he even LOOKED like he was going to try and ask for popcorn I would've looked at him like he had grown another head. No way in HELL was I going to share popcorn with a stranger. What am I? A hippie!?!? :D

I never heard that rule.:confused:

Some theaters in Denver ask you to skoot to the middle. Helps to seat all of the viewers.

Ah. Okay. Didn't know that. They don't do that here in New York. It's "catch as catch can" here.

This sounds far too much like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

This wouldn't have happened to me just because I don't have a high enough tolerance for annoyance. But if it ever did I'd be sure to stake my claim on everything the second he got there: both armrests would be mine and I'd probably take up so much leg room that he'd have to sit with his legs closed and moved to the side to accomodate for all of my leg room. And I'm even more of an asshole on the bus/train.

Just be glad he didn't offer free tix to the show in his pants.

Perhaps he had a weird sense of humour – he might have thought it funny to sit next to you just to make you feel uncomfortable, or maybe if the film got too scary he might have wanted to hold your hand – you never know your luck. :D

By the way, was the film any good ?

Interesting thought, guess it would make a nice mild 'candid camera' type prank. Just see how people react when as some of the only people in a movie you sit down right next to them for no reason. In fact, kind of makes me want to try that sometime if i'm bored enough. Or you could start out on the end of the row then every few minutes get up and move one seat over for no reason, till eventually you're right next to the person.

I love having plenty of personal space when I'm at a movie theatre, so I probably would have been a bit annoyed myself. However, I'm guessing the guy was just looking to get a better seat, which is fair. *shrug*

it would have bugged me mostly because I like to make full use of the arm rests. For many guys there is a comfort zone... and that's "as far away from the next guy as possible"

Yeah that would have made me pretty uncomfortable as well. I can't imagine his reason except that he probably honestly just wanted to be as close to the center as possible, as you said. As far as hitting on you, I mean he didn't, so I don't think that was it. It was probably something totally innocent, but still I don't blame you for feeling weird.

One note, you said that you and your friends didn't even sit together at the movies. My friends and I always sit together, so we can make very low comments on the movie. Heightens the experience, IMO. So I guess your personal space issues are more extreme than mine, but what you described would even bother me, yes.

oh man, this reminds me of a class i took in college a while ago! it was a sociology class on social deviance and abnormal behavior. one of the first things we talked about in the class were "social norms." social norms are sometimes hard to define, but one of the examples that the instructor used was exactly like what you just went through Gjefflin. he talked about how it would not be normal if you were sitting in a completely empty movie theatre, and then somebody comes in and sits right next to you. that's not normal! but if it was really full, and someone came and sat next to you, it's not such a big deal. it all depends on the circumstances. in your case though, i definitely think he was hitting on you. that sucks if it bothers you. if a girl usually hits on me, even if she's not that attractive or anything, i usually take it as a compliment. but then again, a movie isn't a very good place to hit on a girl. you go to watch a movie, not a person.

Yea, my friends and I do the same things when we go to the movies. And if I was ever put into a situation like that, I would probably just sit there for a while, and then go get a drink or some candy or go to the bathroom or something, and then when I came back just sit like.. a few rows back or a few rows forward. But I've never been to the movies when theyre not at least 75% full.

struck up conversation during a movie?


If I got to a movie with friends we always sit a couple seats apart

It is my belief that if you go to the movies with someone (friends, family, SO, etc) you sit next to each other. Why sit apart from each other? Is everyone that homophobic?

I'd be wondering: "Does this dick have a clue that I am armed?"

gjefflin, that is definitely strange, I would have moved .. don't fock w/ my movie watching experience. Also do not fock w/ mt ber as I am drink now. Viva Carona