How can I stop myself from getting startled? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

gdr2004 · 08-16-2004, 10:43 AM

Whenever I watch a horror movie, I hate the feeling of suspense when there is a moment of silence, knowing fully well that something loud and sudden will happen, taking me by complete surprise (even though I saw it coming) and basically, scaring the living crap out of me.

Is there a way to conquer this fear? It always feels like my heart is about to die out for a tenth of a second before returning to normal. Maybe it's because my cousins used to jump me when I was little but I think that I have an abnormal fear of getting surprised. I used to have a hard time closing my eyes in the shower due to the fear that there would be someone with a knife watching over me.

This fear also occured at this Wax Museum I went to, where I ended up basically dragging my girlfriend though the whole exhibit without stopping for anything and getting tunnel vision the entire time from my fear that something would pop out and scare me.

Is this sensation normal? Do any of you guys have this problem of jumping? Is this a feeling to be enjoyed? If so, do you enjoy it? Do you hate it?

Cynthetiq · 08-16-2004, 10:45 AM

martial arts and meditation...

those are my only suggestions

maleficent · 08-16-2004, 10:47 AM

I work with a guy, who's gotten a lot better, either that or we're just not as easily entertained as we once were.. You'd walk by his desk, and touch him on the shoulder, and he'd jump 5 feet. Doing this 2 or 3 hundred times, it loosesit's entertainment value. If I'm concentrating on something and someone comes up to me to talk or whatever, I will often jump out of my skin - in shock... I'd love to know what my heart did -if it does skip a beat or anything.

I hate that I am so jumpy, and that it amuses people so easily (especially my father, who thinks it's funny to make me jump)

Rekna · 08-16-2004, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gdr2004

Whenever I watch a horror movie, I hate the feeling of suspense when there is a moment of silence, knowing fully well that something loud and sudden will happen, taking me by complete surprise (even though I saw it coming) and basically, scaring the living crap out of me.

Is there a way to conquer this fear? It always feels like my heart is about to die out for a tenth of a second before returning to normal. Maybe it's because my cousins used to jump me when I was little but I think that I have an abnormal fear of getting surprised. I used to have a hard time closing my eyes in the shower due to the fear that there would be someone with a knife watching over me.

This fear also occured at this Wax Museum I went to, where I ended up basically dragging my girlfriend though the whole exhibit without stopping for anything and getting tunnel vision the entire time from my fear that something would pop out and scare me.

Is this sensation normal? Do any of you guys have this problem of jumping? Is this a feeling to be enjoyed? If so, do you enjoy it? Do you hate it?

Damn I wish I could still get that effect. If it really bothers you and you don't like the feeling then you need to desensitize yourself to it. Probably the best way to do that is by watching a tun of scarry movies. Keep exposing yourself to that which scares you and the fear will eventually leave. You might want to play through doom 3, that game has a tun of shocks and startles, so much I had to stop playing because it got tedious.

rainheart · 08-16-2004, 10:50 AM

You have to really believe that nothing is going to happen beyond whats normal. Then you sit down with that conviction and watch a scary movie. Later that night you sleep without a blanket and stare right into the dark.

Just don't turn away from where you think whatever is going to pop out and kill you or something and face it. Stand there and face it for like 10 minutes untill you realize how ridiculous it all is.

Redjake · 08-16-2004, 10:51 AM

martial arts (karate specifically)

this helps a LOT. one of my best friends used to jump a lot and he went and got his black belt in a period of a year or two and now you can't do ANYTHING to make him jump anymore.....in fact, when you hit him in the chest or shoulder or push him it feels like you are trying to punch a brick wall or something. really weird. I guess it just changes your whole physique.

apeman · 08-16-2004, 10:54 AM

well the obvious course of action has 2 possible outcomes - if you get someone to startle you as often as possible, it will either
a) gradually become less startling, or
b) make it even worse

perhaps worth an experiment?

otherwise maybe go with martial arts and meditation for now ... i'm pretty sure physical activity tends to distance you from purely "mental" issues - it kind of gives you a reference level for your brain to function on

i think everyone experiences it to some degree .. it seems to come and go with me ... sometimes nothing will startle me, sometimes i startle easily

08-16-2004, 10:56 AM

i say you do that "whats wrong with this picture?" thing. if you can sit through that without jumping back your golden.

ShaniFaye · 08-16-2004, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

I work with a guy, who's gotten a lot better, either that or we're just not as easily entertained as we once were.. You'd walk by his desk, and touch him on the shoulder, and he'd jump 5 feet. Doing this 2 or 3 hundred times, it loosesit's entertainment value. If I'm concentrating on something and someone comes up to me to talk or whatever, I will often jump out of my skin - in shock... I'd love to know what my heart did -if it does skip a beat or anything.

I hate that I am so jumpy, and that it amuses people so easily (especially my father, who thinks it's funny to make me jump)

Im glad to know Im not the only one that does this, my only problem is I also scream hehehe drives the guys here at work nuts

flamingdog · 08-16-2004, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gdr2004

Whenever I watch a horror movie, I hate the feeling of suspense when there is a moment of silence, knowing fully well that something loud and sudden will happen, taking me by complete surprise (even though I saw it coming) and basically, scaring the living crap out of me.

I thought people watched horror movies for that purpose. The only thing I can suggest is to try and expect it. I've had people try and get me to jump, and been met with a blank stare, I'm almost impossible to get to flinch. It's a question of attitude, you need to develop this blase, disaffected attitude if you want to not be jumpy.

And I'm the kid who used to hide behind my dad's chair when He-Man shouted 'I have the power!' at the start of every episode and used to cry at lemon meringue pie.

But do you really want to eradicate it?

lurkette · 08-16-2004, 11:49 AM

It's kind of a simple suggestion, but....breathe.

I do the same thing - get all tense and anxious, and the thing that works best is take a moment, close your eyes, and take two or three seriously deep breaths, from the diaphragm, exhaling all the way.

While you're at it, check in with your body and see what muscles are clenched and consciously relax them. Your brain and body feedback on each other in tense moments - your brain sends "fight or flight" signals to your body (which in real life scary situations are useful, but in scary movies and wax museums, not so much), which then responds like it's supposed to - tensing muscles, increased heart rate, blood pressure, etc. Anxiety-sensitive brains can then sometimes go overboard - your brain gets "we're ready to go!" messages from the body, and says "whoa, what's wrong! We must be in danger!" And sends back MORE fight-or-flight messages, which makes your body even more tense, etc. etc. (Follow this out to its logical conclusion and you get a panic attack.) So if you can short-circuit the feedback loop by relaxing your body, your brain stops sending the "get ready to run" signals and you can respond more appropriately to what is not, in fact, a life-threatening situation.

The other logical solution is to avoid situations where this happens. Or, if you can't or don't want to try the avoidance solution, while you're breathing, remind yourself of your immediate surroundings - YOU ARE SAFE. In a theater with lots of other people, in your living room, etc.

Good luck!

geeza · 08-17-2004, 04:06 PM

You jump because you're surprised by a development and then all your muscles hit full power in a reflex mode, so you physically move.

There's nothing clever here: just learn to recognise the signs. All story tellers have a similar build up technique.

Take the descent into the basement with the semi-defective torch routine, for instance. Then tense every muscle in your body.

When the surprise comes, you can't jump because everything's at full tension! hey presto.

Then you'll realise it's not such a big deal and you'll stop bothering about it. Just like fear of flying really.

The thing is, your reaction, and that of the other people that get freaked out, actually adds to the atmosphere. Watch closely and you'll notice people might be reacting to you as much as the film. So you're adding to their experience.

08-16-2004, 10:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
gdr2004 Crazy Location: CA	How can I stop myself from getting startled? Whenever I watch a horror movie, I hate the feeling of suspense when there is a moment of silence, knowing fully well that something loud and sudden will happen, taking me by complete surprise (even though I saw it coming) and basically, scaring the living crap out of me. Is there a way to conquer this fear? It always feels like my heart is about to die out for a tenth of a second before returning to normal. Maybe it's because my cousins used to jump me when I was little but I think that I have an abnormal fear of getting surprised. I used to have a hard time closing my eyes in the shower due to the fear that there would be someone with a knife watching over me. This fear also occured at this Wax Museum I went to, where I ended up basically dragging my girlfriend though the whole exhibit without stopping for anything and getting tunnel vision the entire time from my fear that something would pop out and scare me. Is this sensation normal? Do any of you guys have this problem of jumping? Is this a feeling to be enjoyed? If so, do you enjoy it? Do you hate it?

08-16-2004, 10:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	martial arts and meditation... those are my only suggestions __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

08-16-2004, 10:47 AM	#3 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I work with a guy, who's gotten a lot better, either that or we're just not as easily entertained as we once were.. You'd walk by his desk, and touch him on the shoulder, and he'd jump 5 feet. Doing this 2 or 3 hundred times, it loosesit's entertainment value. If I'm concentrating on something and someone comes up to me to talk or whatever, I will often jump out of my skin - in shock... I'd love to know what my heart did -if it does skip a beat or anything. I hate that I am so jumpy, and that it amuses people so easily (especially my father, who thinks it's funny to make me jump) __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-16-2004, 10:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
Redjake I'm a family man - I run a family business. Location: Wilson, NC	martial arts (karate specifically) this helps a LOT. one of my best friends used to jump a lot and he went and got his black belt in a period of a year or two and now you can't do ANYTHING to make him jump anymore.....in fact, when you hit him in the chest or shoulder or push him it feels like you are trying to punch a brick wall or something. really weird. I guess it just changes your whole physique. __________________ Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

08-16-2004, 10:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
apeman Wah Location: NZ	well the obvious course of action has 2 possible outcomes - if you get someone to startle you as often as possible, it will either a) gradually become less startling, or b) make it even worse perhaps worth an experiment? otherwise maybe go with martial arts and meditation for now ... i'm pretty sure physical activity tends to distance you from purely "mental" issues - it kind of gives you a reference level for your brain to function on i think everyone experiences it to some degree .. it seems to come and go with me ... sometimes nothing will startle me, sometimes i startle easily __________________ pain is inevitable but misery is optional - stick a geranium in your hat and be happy

08-16-2004, 10:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
rainheart Psycho	You have to really believe that nothing is going to happen beyond whats normal. Then you sit down with that conviction and watch a scary movie. Later that night you sleep without a blanket and stare right into the dark. Just don't turn away from where you think whatever is going to pop out and kill you or something and face it. Stand there and face it for like 10 minutes untill you realize how ridiculous it all is.

08-16-2004, 10:56 AM	#8 (permalink)
Xepidemic Guest	i say you do that "whats wrong with this picture?" thing. if you can sit through that without jumping back your golden.

08-16-2004, 11:49 AM	#11 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	It's kind of a simple suggestion, but....breathe. I do the same thing - get all tense and anxious, and the thing that works best is take a moment, close your eyes, and take two or three seriously deep breaths, from the diaphragm, exhaling all the way. While you're at it, check in with your body and see what muscles are clenched and consciously relax them. Your brain and body feedback on each other in tense moments - your brain sends "fight or flight" signals to your body (which in real life scary situations are useful, but in scary movies and wax museums, not so much), which then responds like it's supposed to - tensing muscles, increased heart rate, blood pressure, etc. Anxiety-sensitive brains can then sometimes go overboard - your brain gets "we're ready to go!" messages from the body, and says "whoa, what's wrong! We must be in danger!" And sends back MORE fight-or-flight messages, which makes your body even more tense, etc. etc. (Follow this out to its logical conclusion and you get a panic attack.) So if you can short-circuit the feedback loop by relaxing your body, your brain stops sending the "get ready to run" signals and you can respond more appropriately to what is not, in fact, a life-threatening situation. The other logical solution is to avoid situations where this happens. Or, if you can't or don't want to try the avoidance solution, while you're breathing, remind yourself of your immediate surroundings - YOU ARE SAFE. In a theater with lots of other people, in your living room, etc. Good luck! __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

08-17-2004, 04:06 PM	#12 (permalink)
geeza Crazy	You jump because you're surprised by a development and then all your muscles hit full power in a reflex mode, so you physically move. There's nothing clever here: just learn to recognise the signs. All story tellers have a similar build up technique. Take the descent into the basement with the semi-defective torch routine, for instance. Then tense every muscle in your body. When the surprise comes, you can't jump because everything's at full tension! hey presto. Then you'll realise it's not such a big deal and you'll stop bothering about it. Just like fear of flying really. The thing is, your reaction, and that of the other people that get freaked out, actually adds to the atmosphere. Watch closely and you'll notice people might be reacting to you as much as the film. So you're adding to their experience.