Kicking Dope, Again
 

OK, so I am definately not proud of this but I am sharing this with all of you SOLELY. I am currently 3 days into kicking a dope (heroin) habit that I blindly began again after being clean for 3 years. The problem is, I LOVE DOPE, I just don't like all the problems that come with it. So here I sit, at work no less, with cold sweats and desperately craving some diesel. I figure talking about it will help, so let's hear it. Good, bad, or indifferent.

The problem is dope doesn't love us.
Dope hates us and wants to destroy us.
It doesn't make sense to love something that hates us.

good luck.

keep it up.

Don't cave in, Wallace. It's not worth it. Life on dope is chaotic at best. It's a shitty way to live.

Never had to break a habit like heroin but when I kicked smoking, I too loved to smoke but knew it was going to mess up the rest of my life - cancer, cost, social issues, family health, etc. I imagine a heroin addict must love horse even more, but the consequences of not quitting are even more severe.

Suggest writing down all the reasons for quitting - you can probably come up with tons. Then write down all the reasons for using it (which will likely only amount to "cause I wanna"). Keep it with you and look at it every time you get the urge.

Good luck, seek professional treatment if need be at a rehab clinic.

I kicked dope almost 7 years ago now, cold turkey. Get through the kick. You can do it.

Trust me, I know what you're going through, and I know how hard it is, how painful it is, and how miserable it is.

You can get through it.

I literally fled halfway across the country to get out of the meth scene about three years ago. My life had become like the waiting room scene in Beetlejuice. Utter limbo. What sucked the most about it was that I was really a pothead and only did crank because that's what everyone else was doing. http://bluehole.clarkworx.com/chrome/smileys/wtf.gif

If you really need an addiction, a few suggestions:

1. Play video games
2. start collecting things such as cards, figurines, action figures
3. form a hobby and spend your money on that

i.e. find something else that is a fairly safe addiciton to take the place of the one you miss. Me, my addicitons are video games, art, and collecting action figures. They've kept me from ever wanting drugs in the first place.

Heroin addiction is only something a heroin addict can understand.

Find a group, or someone you can comiserate with also, it helps to be able to talk to others in your situation. Back when my wife and I were dating she was an addict, and without me being at her side she would likely be dead. Kicking dope will be one of the hardest things in your life probabaly, but you can do it. You're stonger than a substance, keep that in mind and you will make progress I'm sure.

Good luck.

well the hardest addiction ive kicked was caffiene... got headaches and stuff... sucked... prolly doesnt really compare to what your going through...

all i can say is hang in there...

don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me now, you guys
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Heroin, be the death of me
Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off and dead
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' crazy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds
'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know

That may be true but having a loved one go through it and it invading every facet of your life comes pretty close.

It's an ugly addiction and it goes way beyond just the drug. Most who can't break the habit have issues that go beyond the physical addiction. The mental addiction and programmed response to the triggers which drive them back to using are far tougher nuts.

the physical addiction can give you a few weeks of unpleasantness ... in terms of actual pain it's not too bad ... still not much fun mind

after that you need new interests and new friends... i've taken up being a health freak in a half-assed kind of way ... i.e. i go running and then drink beer and smoke a few cigarrettes :)

you can have my email address if you want to talk about it; PM me

And people say Dope isn't addictivie. Good luck dude.

Umm, I think they say that dope (as in pot) isn't addictive. I've never heard anyone claim that heroin isn't addictive. Quite the opposite in fact.

First, "addictive" need a pre-fix when talking about drugs: physical, mental or both.

Second, as already stated, the guy has a problem with heroin which is a rather nasty drug from everything I have heard.

Third, pot seems not to cause physical addiction; however, pot can cause psychological addiction. You need to remember that anything can cause psychological addiction though, ANYTHING. I'm addicted to a good number of thing: video games, the gym, masturbation, porno, food, ect. Those addictions are all psychological, except food. I go batshit when I don't eat enough food.


Regarding the original poster, I would try to get away from anything that reminds you of your old lifestyle or causes you to want to pick-up the habit. I said "lifestyle" instead of "habit", because heroin use is a lifestyle and one that does destroy lives. I would suggest that you try to find an addiction that will somewhat replace your heroin addiction. The addiction needs to be something that is relatively benign, has minor psych withdrawl and keeps your thoughts away from heroin. I'm a personal fan of video games as my addiction of choice, but an instrument, craft, project, hobby or pet (depending on how responsible you feel) could all be possible alternatives.

Caveat to my post: I have never been physically addicted to any drug (food aside) in my 18 years on this earth. I don't know what withdrawl feels like, and I don't pretend to know how rough it is. My advice is simply what psych classes have taught me and what my own common sense / intuition suggests. Take all advice at your own risk.

Physical or psychological, they are still addictions.

Physical addiction can and do sometimes kill people as a result of withdrawl.

Psychological addictions do not kill people, by themselves.

Saying that physical and psychological addictions are the same is like saying a uni-cycle and a Boeing 747 are the same; they are both form of transportation.

*shrugs* Psychological addictions can kill people too.

I feel your pain brother. I'm 2 weeks into sobriety, and each day is a struggle.

I must do alone, what I can not do alone.

Stay strong, life is more worth living clean, then it is to wander high.

Keep busy, or take some time off, do whatever you need to do to get clean. Then, get your ass into NA, you know now that you have a problem, and that you are in danger of relapse.

We admitted we were powerless - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Just do it.

hehehhe, me too!

Congrats to you in making a decision to help youself! Now that you've done that, I'm sure it will be much easier to find outside help also. If you feel you need it, take it...there's nothing to lose! Obviously you know that, because you've been through it once. While you're going through it this time, try to remember what happened that you started again...can't be a very good reason...but whatever it is...stay away from it!! And practice other responses to your triggers in a small way a lot of the time so when the urge comes on hard, you will have something to cling to...

Nobody has ever overdosed on pot.

Hang in there wallace, you're doing a good thing for yourself, whether your body thinks so or not. Hope you're body stops fisting you soon.

Please, don't bring marijuana into this. As its lawyer, I will have to bitchslap anybody who compares it to heroin.

I expect that is true; therefore, I only give you my best wishes and hopes, rather than advice. Be strong.

i gave up being a daily coke user cold turkey

i didnt have withdrawls either

if only it was that easy to give up on smoking
:(

I would be the last one to say that one addiction is worse than another. It depends on the person. I've given up weed and crank and can go for a long time without caffeine or alcohol, but I'm finding it really tough to kick nicotine.

Thank you. However, I kicked smack 7 years ago, so...

Spoken like someone who has no concept of what kicking heroin is actually like. No offence darling, but there is no comparison.

I've no doubt it's damned tough. I'm not about to try it and find out how tough though. The cigarettes are plenty rotten for me.

Yeah, I would not turn my worst enemy on to the stuff.

I hope Wallace is doing okay. *worries*

Heh. Misplaced modifiers will get you every time. I congratulate pinkie, and send wishes to wallace1, and try to take in more caffeine on a Monday.

you learn in AA/NA that when you try to quit, you tend to replace that addiction for another. best suggestion i can think of is to replace that addiction for something healthier... anything that can get your mind off the dope.

i was a crackhead, then a tweeker, now im a pothead... so getting advice from me isnt the best thing but at least i'm not blowing $300 bucks a night on crack anymore! now if only i can stop smoking out...

What NA meetings did you attend? That has nothing to do with what the NA program is about. Maybe you should go to, say, 90 meetings in as many days and then report on your experience. And going to those meetings clean (that's from everything) would be a good idea.

That NA program is about complete abstinence from all drugs - it has nothing to do with substitution.

Wallace - hang in there. I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but lots of hot water helps. Park a plastic chair in your shower...

And when you feel 1/4 human, try going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Just look up the number in the white pages. And if you don't like it, go again. If you end up wasting 3 hours of your life, it's not much in the long run. And your chances of staying clean at a meeting are pretty damn good.

Wallace is just trying to get through the "kick" right now. Kick in junkie terms does not just mean stopping, it means days and days of writhing in pain, shitting on yourself, vomiting, and many many days with NO sleep, chronic muscular pain, severe distress, panic and fear. The only thing that will actually make him feel better at this point, if he hasn't broken down already, is to fix.

I've never had an addiction, but I wish you the best of luck. Keep it up and your body will thank you.

True, you'll choke on your blood from your bleedings lungs before that happens.

Well Ive only did H for a couple of months, so I don't know exactly what you'r going through. My withdrawls I'm sure were a LOT more tame then yours.
Anyways I managed to quit it all cold turkey (by moving) but then after a year someone offered me some OxyCottons with is a similar drug (pain killer) and since it had been a year I eventually got carried away and OD.
Woke up w/ paramedics all around me!
So best of luck to you, I won't even get into the storys of my friends who got into it alot harder than I did

As someone who had a particulary bitchy thing for E a few months back, i know how hard it is to take the first steps, but once things get going, you just gota hang in there, and wait for it to settle out.

All i can say is good luck, and see you on the other side.

wallace1 - I won't even pretend I know what it is like, but good luck to you bud.

I never have tried hard drugs... My father did all that and I just never had the urge. Once I got into my late teens and started trying more things I saw a movie(requiem for a dream) that reassured the fact that I never want to even try hard drugs.

I hope you stay strong and kick the habbit. I have no idea what youre going through, but I wish you the best.

wish you the best....i'm almost 1 & 1/2 years off a mean coke addiction. meetings with sponsorship work for me, and nothing else did. and i tried it my way(s) for years.

try to think about the worst place you've ever gotten on your binges. it continues to get worse. it doesn't ever get better until you stop. you know this.

life, by itself, along with lots of little joys, puts up plenty of hurdles for us to get over. i cannot express how much easier my life is now that i've removed the unneccesary chemical ones.

stay clean, man.

:rolleyes:

This thread is NOT a marijuana/addiction debate. Thanks.

wallace, all I can do is wish you the best of luck.
I cannot advise, but some others have said some wise things.
I hope you are able to make it through this.

Hey Everybody! Day five and I think I can say that the kick is pretty much over. I'm not sleeping much but the thought of wanting to slit my own throat has passed and I feel human again. Thank you all for your encouragement. I have really come to love the tfp. I certainly did not think that I would get as big of a response, I have a long way to go but it really did feel better to look at what y'all had to say.

Peace,
Wallace1

Yay!!! Congrats!!! *throws confetti* *strips for you* *shakes your hand* :icare:

Thank You!

Let's get a chant going.

"WALLACE, WALLACE, Wal....."

Just me again. I hate it when that happens.

We're right behind ya bra'. :thumbsup:

Now remove yourself from the dope scene. ;) Go somewhere you can't get it.

Congrats, you've done really well to get that far!
Good luck with the next few weeks.

first and foremost,take things one day at a time. just making a day is an accomplishment. it's really unrealistic to try to remove yourself completely from former associates,and situations arise that will test you bigtime . it is imperitive that you do get up and leave when its time .you'll know when its time.im real happy for you and wish you all the best.hang in there and dont dispair . one good thing about the wagon is that its always there.good luck amigo.

This is the best advice I've heard. That's what I did to get out of the meth scene. I packed a bag, hopped on a bus, and headed for the mountains.

Good friend of mine use to talk about how nicotien was just as hard to quit as the big H. At which point he would say "Bull shit. I quite H" as he pulled out a smoke......


To wallace1,
As one who has never had the habit involved, I can't guess what you are going through. I do know that while you alone have to do it, you don't have to do it alone. I'm sure there are support groups in your area. More importently, I'm sure you have friends and family that care about you and will be there to help you be strong. Don't be afraid to turn to the people in your life that matter for help. They can do more for you there then these words ona screen can do for you from here I am sure. Be strong, and I wish you the best.

Just keep going a day at a time, even an hour at a time, if'n you need to...

Keep it up, you'r doing great!

Cogrates on a full work week clean brother. :) We are all pulling for you. You can get through this, I am sure of that. Just take it a day at a time, and don't look back.

I've heard that too, but the initial withdrawals are worse with H. There isn't anything I could compare it to quitting. It's torture.

:icare: CONGRATS AGAIN WALLACE.

I had to do the same thing to kick dope.

Hey all. Day six and I am hanging tough. I got 2 hrs. of "sleep" last night. I watched the whole first season of the Soprano's, took 4 HOT showers and read the "Library Police" from Stephen King. Today a pretty girl smiled at me on campus, I am starting to feel human again. I also went to health services today and got honest, Dr. looked me over and gave me a stern lecture and a clean bill of health, Thank God.
I wish I could move back to Colorado, but I have school and I can't just pick up and go. But you have all offered some pretty sage advice and I plan on taking advantage of it. My sense of humor is coming back which is nice because for the first few days I was an emotional mess. I feel like I have gotten to know you guys and that feels really good, life was kind of vacant for a while, if you know what I mean.
I will keep you all posted,, it makes me feel like I have accomplished something to be able to post and tell you all that I am still holding on.
Peace,
Wallace 1

crattthhhyyyyy story man heheheh. all the stories in that book are good.

Good to hear from you again wallace, sounds like your making good progress.
You'll probably agree its the little things that make it easier when you quit something, knowing that your slowly returning to you.

Good luck!

best wishes, wallace!

sounds like you're well on your way already to a free & happier life. :)

Fucking great news Wallace. Keep on truckin brother. We are all pulling for you.

nice work ... keep us posted yeah?

Congratz! I'm glad to hear that you have helped yourself.

Outstanding! Congrats. The upcoming challenge is to either avoid triggers or, when you can't, come up with a new response to them. Go for a ridiculously long walk or run or bike ride. Or go hang out with people you know will help keep you straight. Anything that will get your mind away from what your body became programmed to expect when you start heading down that path.

I started this and realized too late this it's been months and this thread is completely dead, so I just edited what I wrote and put this instead.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming...