what would be on your perk list?
 

i was reading through the smoking gun archives and found their collection of backstage riders from nearly 150 musicians. it's pretty interesting to read through, yet almost disgusting how pampered they are. >> link <<

anyway, what would you put on your list? feel free to get as crazy or outrageous with your demands as you want... many celebrities certainly do. :)


(btw, i wasn't sure which forum to place this in, so feel free to move it if it would be better suited elsewhere)

Coffee no more than 5 minutes old, served to me by Harrison Ford in a tuxedo.

Sean Connery to read to me, it could be the phone book, I don't care, just let him read to me.

A putting green

A piano

A fruit and cheese platter with lots of triple creme camembert, stilton, and a farmhouse cheddar. Strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and a fresh loaf of sourdough bread(I better smell the bread baking)

Ice cream.

heh... a few things.

fresh squeeze orange juice, no pulp.

fresh grape juice.

fresh sliced pineapple.

peanut butter m&ms.

chocolate milk.

an in-house wok chef with all the fixin's for lo mein (the right noodles, carrots, celery, cabbage, and onions) and general tso's chicken.

salsa verde doritos.

blue bunny cookies and cream ice cream.

a deli tray with ham, genoa salami, pepperoni, provolone, meunster, cheddar, and crossaints to put it all on.

broccli and cheese soup in a breadbowl.

a (no smaller than 32 inch) TV with a ps2, cube, and xbox, with enough controllers to play halo, double dash, and other assorted party games.

a massive couch, no nappy thrift-store couches.

just a some one to do my dishes and my laundry.

My family close by
An awesome stereo with access to any music I want to listen to

Pom, pomegranate juice
Bottled water
S. Pellegrino sparkling mineral water
Espresso maker with skim milk, and Ghirardelli chocolate (for perfect mochas)
Green tea bags

Mangos
Bananas
Granny Smith apples
Kumquats
Nectarines
Seedless white grapes


Carr's Table Water Crackers
Herb garlic Chevre
White cheddar cheese
Blue cheese
Jarlsberg Swiss cheese
Hummus
Pita bread

Personal Chef

Cream color leather couch
Cream color leather loveseat
3 Cream color leather ottomans
Taupe towels
Taupe sheets
Taupe curtains
Large comfortable chairs (earth tones)

Vanilla candles

Oatmeal soap
Kiss my Face A&E lotion

White Calla lilies
White roses
Lily of the valley
White fragrant lilies

Silk jammies
Silk robe
Cozy slippers

Babysitter available anytime anyplace that I want one.
Evian available at all times.
Capaccino available every morning upon rising(either vanilla or hazelnut).
1 fresh glazed donut every morning unless otherwise requested.
Scented candles available at all times.
Creme Brulee, once a week, for dessert after dinner.
Tickets to each of the Triple Crown Races.
Shoes - lots of them.
Silk night robe.
Lots of potted plants and flowers.
assorted snacks at all times.
#1 perk - A COMPUTER with cable internet access.

- sushi
- Veuve Clicquot
- A masseur with Very Strong Hands

...now there's a perk i can go for!:)

oh, and those little scented candles that smell like flowers.
and fresh fruit, particularly strawberries and peaches.

dancing midgets

http://www.idmonsters.com/rtc/08/images/davidkeith.jpg

Him, naked.
Lots of Evian water.

A trio of pigs wearing baby blue tuxedos dancing to a tranny Carol Channing singing "Everything is Coming up Roses" while being spoon fed Vanilla ice cream by a bevy of beauties in Hugh Hefners grotto.

(1) Ice cold beer on demand, and I mean no warmer than 33 degrees Fahrenheit.

(2) A burly Hungarian masseuse with strong hands.

(3) A cold deli platter consisting of pepperoni and hard salami slices; colby and monterrey jack wedges; raw filberts, almonds, and cashews; chocolate mints and cordials; and pimento stuffed olives.

(4) A big piping hot baguette and a pound of soft whipped butter.

Porn stars, play boy playmates' breast milk. Served to me by them of course. How's that!? :D

Gummi candy - bears, worms, coke bottle ones ... the German type, not crappy American stuff.

Ice cold lemonade
Ice cold Peach Nehi
Ice cold White Grape/Peach Juice

Pistachios
Mixed nuts w/ peanuts taken out

Lotsa fresh fruit

Private chef - cook up some goodies.

Shower/tub
Towels straight out of the dryer.

Sandwiches or pizza for the band from some local restauant. Make it a family-owned place, not a national chain, and tip well.

A few cases of Smirnoff Triple Black, some sort of non-piss-beer, some soda, and a few Brita pitchers of water or bottled water

Permission to paintball in the venue before people show up

But don't they have to be pregnant for them to be lactating?
(details details I know...)


Uhm... Let's see...

The fastest computer ever with the best of the best accessories, delivered to my doorstep once every year. (I buy a new comp once every other year, but I have to pay for it :( and it's not exactly the "Best" per se, but as close to it as I can afford)

Oh, and naked housemaids.

Hell just let me win the lottery already.

Nope. Had my daughter 4 years ago. Still lactating some and not breastfeeding anymore either. You don't even have to have a baby to start lactating. All you need is enough nipple stimulation. And I mean a lot of it.

#1 on my perk list would definitely be unfettered access to the goods and services of Liv Tyler :lol:

Im pretty easy

A connection point for my laptop (Im figuring if Im doing a concert I can afford my own laptop)

Two six packs of Stella

Some sandwiches or something

Coca cola, at least 12 and a bottle of Jack.
Beer, lots of good beer.
Pizza, not from a chain, some local est. (usually much better)
PS2
Computer w/Internet access.
Fruit/Veggies, snacks
PORN, and plenty of girls to watch it with.

Playboy playmates as masseuses
Cold bottled water and ice cold Mountain Dew Code Red (best soda ever)
Personal humidor with finest Cuban cigars
State-of-the-art computer with high-speed internet access
Tempur-pedic mattress and pillow

BINGO! :D
A good computer, naked housemaids and a load of money. Kinda reminds me of a good simpsons quote;

"How do you sleep at night McBane?"
"On top a large pile of money with many beautiful women"

That's hillarious, I spit coffee through my nose reading this.

grrr... having worked with PA's going nuts trying to find all the elements of the riders.... it's annoying.

but what would I want to have without issue for all my appearances?

abba zabba
Haribo gummi bears still in bags (don't want someon to try to pass off something else as haribo)

Whatever my buds put down, as they'll be lounging to the rear of the stage with the best damn seats possible. Also pizza and sandwhiches from the kind of local place you'd like to support.

Fresh, sliced fruit
Strawberry daquaris
Mai Tais
2 Otters
pure white shag carpet
prepared velveeta shells and cheese
bomb pops
big screen tv, game cube, and a huge collection of games
king sized feather mattress bed

I would insist on a fresh golden retriever puppy ever five minutes.

Are you related to my wife?:lol:

A big pot of menudo or tamales or any other mexican dish that my mom just made.

Fresh peaches, strawberries, and grapes.

Some cold MGD on ice.

A bottle of Jack Daniels.

A batting cage.

A poster of Salma Hayek or Halle Berry

A FEMALE masseuse(sp?).

Lots and lots of women walking around backstage for what seems like no apparant reason.