Reality Check: Sex and Guns

[Memnoch]

I had a thought. A feat, I know.

Guns are like sex. As such, sex-education and gun-education also tend to have their similarities. Hem and haw all you want about the good "principles" behind abstinence-only sex-ed or about the good "principles" behind civilian-restrictive gun control laws. That's fine and dandy for those of you who are not currently living in reality. Unfortunately for those of us who do live in reality, these topics are still very much a dilemma. Sex is here, it's active, and it can be an awe-inspiring experience. Guns, similarly, are here, are active and can cause awe-inspiring experiences. Sex is something that can be fun and productive, when it's intelligently approached by mature, consenting individuals. Guns can be also be fun and productive when intelligently approached by mature individuals. Sex can be dangerous. Guns can be dangerous. And inevitably, everyone is either drawn to them or repelled by them - it is uncommon to find someone who is "middle ground" on either issue.

Protection, both sexual and with guns, must be used. Direction and a firm grasp on how to use the "machinery" behind coital and firearm engagements dictate the satisfaction of these experiences. Kids are drawn to guns, and kids are drawn to sex. Now, while some people will, in fact, stay away from one or the other because of abstinence/moral demands by parents and other role models, most will not. Most boys, especially, are interested in guns and sex (though they are quite often unclear on precisely what one or the other does). Kids have got to learn. What's more dangerous? Leaving a kid alone in a room with a gun, which he does not know how to properly handle, or leaving a child alone in a room with a gun who was raised with guns in the house and has had a proper education on what exactly firearms are used for, why they are used, situations that permit their usage and the dire effects they can have? Similarly, is it safer to put two teens in a room together without foreknowledge of protection, procreation, the responsibilities of parenthood, the immense change (physically and mentally) a woman goes through during pregnancy and a proper understanding of just what the fuck (no pun intended) they're getting into, or two teens who have been progressively educated throughout puberty on the proper respect one must have for sexuality and the necessary knowledge and forethought to buy specific items needed to make the sexual activity as safe as possible? In the gun situation, yes, both children may choose to fire the gun against their parents' wishes, but who do you think is more likely to shoot himself or a friend in the face? In the sex situation, yes, both teen couples may choose to have sex against their parents' wishes, but who do you think is more likely to get pregnant or infected with an STD? Baby-boomer liberals of today need to understand that guns are an essential, if sometimes brutal, part of our society. Vietnam war hawks, similarly, must come to realize that kids these days are increasingly sexual, and at younger ages, and while it's good to try to curb their "enthusiasm," steps to prevent poor living conditions for teen mothers and their children must also be taken, specifically finding ways to prevent the teenager from having a child in the first place.

It struck me how the situations are so similar, and yet, either side of the political spectrum seems to be completely convinced that one is of utmost importance and the other is completely taboo.


This is where I have to make my post interactive, I suppose. What are you teaching/plan on teaching your children about guns? About sex? When? Do you tend to consider yourself more on the liberal or conservative end of the political spectrum? Why, if you find sex and/or guns repulsive/frightening/cause for concern/etc, do you find them thus?

For me, personally, I will always have guns in my house. Hopefully I'll have a child or children who will be willing to go hunting with me. My children will understand the who, what, where, when, why and how of guns, and they will be allowed only to touch a gun when a qualified adult is present until their 16th birthday. Similarly, any questions my children ever have about sexuality will be explained with full honesty, no matter how young (though the method of explanation may vary from age to age). If my kids want to be sexually active, I won't try to stop them other than to make sure they understand the causes, effects and responsibilities that come with what they're doing.

[i]Edit: Another question: If you do have kids, how old are they?[/]

[raeanna74]

You fairly well summed up my sentiments about guns and sex education with regards to my daughter. I do not have a set age for what I will allow dating-wise where things can lead to sex but I think I will leave that up to the time and place. I will have to consider her emotional/mental maturity (and obviously her physical) to determine what I can trust her with. I will explain things to her in as much or little detail as SHE wants in regards to sex. She is only 3 and has already asked where she came from and I've told her that she grew in my tummy and was born (in her case by c-section). She is satisfied with that explanation. I'm not going to hide things, made things sound gross, icky, or terribly sinful. I hope to instill in her a sense of what is right when. I don't want her to just throw away her love to someone who will hurt her. I also don't want her to feel as hubby and I did - that since we'd had sex before marriage we HAD to marry to make it right. That caused us a lot of problems that had we not worked out would have doomed our marriage. It's not a healthy reason for marriage or even staying with someone in a dating relationship. I will be willing to assist in her aquiring birth control if she comes to that point while she is still living at home. I want her to be responsible and trustworthy with what she does with her body.

In regards to guns. We have 2 guns now in our home. They are kept safe and in a separate place from the ammo. She is allowed to look when hubby or I have them out and are directly supervising her. We have explained in simple terms what they are used for and how. She has seen them used. She has seen the damage they do to a target. She will be taught safety and to consider any firearm loaded even when she may believe otherwise. People have made mistakes before when they were "Sure" it was unloaded and then pulled the trigger and somehow they missed a bullet. She will be allowed to own a gun when she is of legal age to own one and I will be willing to help her buy one if she has shown me responsibility and trustworthiness.

My hope is that she heeds all my advice. My hope is that she is responsible and wise in her choices. It may not go that way but I will educate her to the best of my ability to protect her from "errors" with guns and with sex. Knowledge is power. Power in this case to protect ones self and others.

[Memnoch]

Well said, rae. I'm glad there's a measure of common sense to be had in people's homes, especially those with children. I appreciate your candor.

[Lebell]

Interesting post.

To answer the question:

Originally posted by Memnoch

[This is where I have to make my post interactive, I suppose. What are you teaching/plan on teaching your children about guns? About sex? When? Do you tend to consider yourself more on the liberal or conservative end of the political spectrum? Why, if you find sex and/or guns repulsive/frightening/cause for concern/etc, do you find them thus?

[/B]

Yes,

I am already teaching my children about guns and sex.

Knowledge is power and my children should be 'armed' to deal with any situation regardless of their personal choices regarding guns and sex.

[DelayedReaction]

What are you teaching/plan on teaching your children about guns? About sex? When? Do you tend to consider yourself more on the liberal or conservative end of the political spectrum? Why, if you find sex and/or guns repulsive/frightening/cause for concern/etc, do you find them thus?

Although I'm nowhere near the time when I'll be having children (It's my future! I want to be an engineer... sex can wait!), I plan on teaching children early on about understanding guns. At a young age I want them to know what they are, and that they should NOT GO NEAR THEM. At an older age I plan on teaching them responsible gun use, and if they want I would go shooting with them. With sex, I plan on being open and forthright as soon as they ask. I have yet to have sex, and I still plan on waiting until marriage for personal reasons, and I hope to instill those same values in my children. A lot of it will depend on what my wife and I decide, but I can only hope the two of us have similar views in this regard. You're right; honesty in education about sex is just as important as honesty in education about guns.

I consider myself an independent, and have both liberal and conservative leanings.

I find guns and sex worthy of concern because of the potential for harm that both offer. Fooling around with firearms is just as dangerous as fooling around with sex, and in both cases only proper education and communication will prevent harm.

[timalkin]

You can turn on the T.V. in the middle of day and learn pretty much everything about sex. You can't do that with firearms. Children will undoubtedly learn a lot more about sex than firearms, since everybody has sex but not everybody owns a firearm.

I dread the day that I would have to tell my children about sex, especially a daughter (good thing I don't have any).

[analog]

I hate to take such a good thread and reply with such brevity, but my opinion has already been stated by Lebell-

Knowledge is power.

btw- very well written, Memnoch.

[ARTelevision]

I think both sex and guns are good things within responsible limits.
That's what I have to say to anyone about that.
I'm conservative.
Nothing in itself repulsive in this except irresponsibility.

[lefty8080]

The bottom line for any of this is responsibility. In both sex and guns (and everything else in life)responsibility is what needs to be taught. When parents avoid an issue they are shirking their RESPONSIBILITY, and by doing so setting a bad example. In our society today we don't ask people to be responsible, we actually teach them to find someone else to blame. Until we get over this trend we will continue to have problems Just my opinion

[Memnoch]

Lefty - you've summed up my general opinion/disdain for our current western society pretty well. I absolutely agree that adults who don't teach their kids about sex, guns, drugs, etc are shirking their own responsibilities and teaching the kids to do the same.

Analog - thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[dpratt1]

I don't have any children so there is nothing I can say about teaching anyone. I wanted to just say that you opened my eyes. I never really thought about sex and guns as being that similar. Also, I used to think that sex ed in schools just pushed kids to have sex, but it just teaches them to be responsible with it. It's going to happen anyway.

[ARTelevision]

I don't really see forcing the Freudian connection between anti-sex/pro-guns positions. It's very simplistic and I think it's quite a bit of a stretch.

[Memnoch]

ART - Stereotypes are rarely based on falsehoods. I realize there are plenty of conservatives out there with my/your/our outlook on this position, but it seems the overwhelming majority of our conservative/mid-spectrum senators and representatives seem to force this connection down our throats for us. I realize it's simplistic, but so is the pro-sex/anti-gun position. Without a doubt that last bit is based on these stereotypes, but they're made in an effort to try to help break those people away from that stereotype, not reinforce it.

[ARTelevision]

Freud did have some valid insights, I suppose.

[Supple Cow]

Originally posted by Memnoch
This is where I have to make my post interactive, I suppose. What are you teaching/plan on teaching your children about guns? About sex? When? Do you tend to consider yourself more on the liberal or conservative end of the political spectrum? Why, if you find sex and/or guns repulsive/frightening/cause for concern/etc, do you find them thus?

I find guns frightening because I was never taught how to use them safely and I grew up in a neighborhood in LA where I watched a neighbor of mine get shot and killed by an ex-lover. I find them slightly off-putting in a civilian setting because the only two uses I can think of are to shoot inanimate objects (which is relatively inoffensive) and to shoot living things.

As much as I hate the way the meat industry in this country operates, I eat the meat I get at the grocery store. Once, I even ate a rabbit that my brother-in-law hunted. Some ecosystems depend on hunting to keep, for instance, the deer population low enough for the foliage to survive. Beyond these ends, I am not a proponent of hunting living things for sport. Considering my limited experience with guns (the political spectrum aside), I plan to teach any future children to be what I am - a responsible user of the planet we live on. If they want to learn how to use guns, I will take them to a place where they can learn safely.