05-26-2004, 06:08 PM | #1 (permalink) |
who ever said streaking was a bad thing?
Location: Calgary
|
men crying????
why is it that guys can't cry?.... a co-worker of mine broke his arm today and said he didn't want to cry cause he'd look like a pussy... but I was like wtf? you broke your arm... cry all you want.... I just want a reasonable explaination.... or is it not socially acceptable?
|
05-26-2004, 06:10 PM | #2 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
|
i dunno. i cry plenty. pussy no. human being yes.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
05-26-2004, 06:16 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
|
Rules for men crying should be the same as women, cry because you broke your nail, you get taken out back and shot, cry because you got your hear broke, cry all you want to.
Some people I know cry at the drop of a hat, and to be honest, that gets a little annoying, they'll sit there and sob rather than deal with fixing the problem. Crying as a solution to a problem is not acceptable in my book. Crying because it seems like a good reaction to the immediate situation, is acceptable. Break your arm? Shit that hurts. Cry. Go to the hospital and get your arm set. Cry. Get bill from hospital. Cry. The only time I ever really cry is when I am just beyond frustrated.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
|
05-26-2004, 06:22 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
|
Most of the guys I know well enough to be around them in a situation where I would cry if in the situation have gotten teary in front of me. So could just be an issue with the individual person, whether they can express themselves that way.
__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
05-26-2004, 06:24 PM | #5 (permalink) |
lonely rolling star
Location: Seattle.
|
Boys...
Don't... Cry... Men can, though.
__________________
"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a. |
05-26-2004, 06:25 PM | #6 (permalink) |
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
|
Sounds like the guy was told early on it wasn't manly to cry.
I cry. It is a great stress reducer. Sometimes I cry when I think of my late father. Good movies and good books will get me to shed a few tears, too. You can still be man and cry. Go ahead, pull out a nose hair and have a cry.
__________________
|
05-26-2004, 06:52 PM | #10 (permalink) |
Insane
|
I have no problem showing my emotion. The last thing somebody would consider me is a pussy.
BTW, the physical stuff hasn't made me cry in decades ... despite going through some pretty painful circumstances. It's the emotional stuff that will get me. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten choked up watching my child grow.
__________________
The user formerly known as BlingBling |
05-26-2004, 07:05 PM | #11 (permalink) |
And we'll all float on ok...
Location: Iowa City
|
I don't cry unless somebody dies. Last time I cried was when my grandma died. I cried when I heard the news, but not during the funeral or any time after that. This was the first time I'd cried in about 6 years.
I have a weakness for dogs and cats. When they die, I cry. I don't cry for any other reason.
__________________
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. --Charles Bukowski |
05-26-2004, 07:30 PM | #12 (permalink) | |
The Pusher
Location: Edinburgh
|
Quote:
And I know my male friends do that too, you can hear it in their voice if they talk about break ups. |
|
05-26-2004, 07:40 PM | #13 (permalink) |
A Real American
|
There was an expirement a while back about crying where they removed tear glands from mice that had an injury. The control group healed normally and the tearless group in fact began to show degradaton of the wounds instead of healing.
My armchair theory is this is one of the reasons women outlive men. We have this stupid rule that we can't use a natural healing and stress reliever built into us, and when you do that you compound stress on yourself. So instead of relief your response is to stifle the response and make things even worse physically/emotionally. If I feel I have to cry , I will. If that makes me a pussy then I'll just go fuck myself then.
__________________
I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince |
05-26-2004, 07:46 PM | #15 (permalink) |
Guest
|
I don't see crying during physical pain to help, I usually yell or curse loudly during the inital impact of pain and after that tell myself to fix the problem and not cry or wollow in my own pain. I haven't had an emotional reason to merit tears in years so I don't know if I would or not. I am not opposed to crying, I just haven't done it in along time.
|
05-26-2004, 07:59 PM | #16 (permalink) |
The Northern Ward
Location: Columbus, Ohio
|
I see it as an inability to compose oneself.
For example say you're bum rushing Normandy beach. You can put your head beneath your legs and cry, and noone would blame you for it. If you're calm, collected and give confidence to others then you will be admired as a strong individual. It's a choice between being human and being super human I guess. It's not surprising that most guys take the loaded-for-bear balls to the wall approach.
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy |
05-26-2004, 08:52 PM | #19 (permalink) |
Loser
|
I don't want to go into detail as to why, but over the years I've become largely desensitized to any sort of emotion. There is very, very little out there that could ever make me cry, and unfortunately I express myself in ways that are physically unhealthy.
|
05-26-2004, 10:20 PM | #21 (permalink) |
Follower of Ner'Zhul
Location: Netherlands
|
Isn't 'the rule' that men can't cry in front of others? I know I don't like to cry in front of others and when I must I go seek solitude and cry alone.
Probably to do with the whole not being perceived as weak thing....
__________________
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein |
05-27-2004, 01:09 AM | #23 (permalink) |
Shade
Location: Belgium
|
I'll bust a little toe, sprain an ankle, break my arm, cut myself badly and not even crack. I'll yell and curse till I feel better though
I dunno, maybe it's a natural leftover from early times: you bust something, so you're probably in danger, first things first: gimme that adrenaline and get safe or solve the problem. Emotional stuff though, that can get to a man, although interestingly, it does seem to come more easily when I'm alone. Maybe conditioning, yeah, but I don't mind too much really.
__________________
Moderation should be moderately moderated. |
05-27-2004, 04:51 AM | #27 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: RI
|
I cry, I cry because I know it's a bodily thing. Much as I pee because that's a bodily function. To me, it's something that needs to be done in some situations. Last time I shed a tear was this past weekend as we moved out of my apt. Got a bit misty out of that but my last good cry was when I had to give away my 3 ferrets.
|
05-27-2004, 06:03 AM | #29 (permalink) |
Insane
|
I cry like a baby at the end of watching "It's a Wonderful Life". Always.
__________________
Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown |
05-27-2004, 06:14 AM | #30 (permalink) |
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
Location: Upper Michigan
|
I don't know about men not crying. I've seen some men who cry all the time - almost more than some women I know.
My Dad cries easily. My mother doesn't. Not half as much anyway/ I can't even tell you how many times my Dad cried. Granted he has had emotional and depression problems for as long as I can remember. He cried for attention mostly. That's even what his psychiatrist in the psychiatric ward told us. He was an attention whore. He'd cry in church because I'd managed to convert a friend of mine. He'd cry at a B-day party because he was so happy that so many people were there just for him. He cried because MY bird died. I just was dry eyed and in shock. I suppose his crying prevented me from crying because as we buried my bird that I'd had for 7 years all I could think about is why is my Dad blubbering like that? He'd grab the kleenex box and sit there with my mom watching Skylark and sniffing and blubbering half way through it. It was embarressing in public when he'd cry over something that was simply touching. It was creepy when he'd blubber over a romantic movie while my brother and I looked at each other in confusion because neither one of us were crying but our parents were in GRIEF. Maybe at the time we just didn't understand the depth of some emotions because we hadn't had a lot of life experience. It was more than disconcerting as a kid with a Dad who was an attention whore and used crying half the time to get attention. I wish my Dad didn't cry so much.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. |
05-27-2004, 06:21 AM | #31 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: the hills of aquafina.
|
Quote:
I don't ever cry at physical pain. That kind of pain simply doesn't induce crying. It's always emotions that do it to me. for some reason, seeing my dad cry ALWAYS makes me tear up. Seeing my mom or anybody else cry not so much, but my dad...always. It's weird.
__________________
"The problem with quick and dirty, as some people have said, is that the dirty remains long after the quick has been forgotten" - Steve McConnell Last edited by cartmen34; 05-27-2004 at 06:24 AM.. |
|
05-27-2004, 06:46 AM | #32 (permalink) |
Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
Location: Oreegawn
|
I cry at emotional stuff, and i'm proud of it.
It's the physical stuff that doesn't make me cry anymore, in those situations, i think a good "FUCK! GODDAMMIT, THAT HURTS!!" actually makes for much better catharsis and release of pain than crying.
__________________
Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. |
05-27-2004, 07:27 AM | #33 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Ontario, Canada
|
Pain hasn't made me cry since I was a kid, its just pain. It hurts and I get mad. A death, or heartbreak then I can get choked up. Been a long time since I've cried though.
Some people do it, some don't. I don't like seeing people cry, it makes me feel bad. I don't want anyone to be upset enough to cry. Perhaps that's why I don't cry, because I don't want to make other people feel like that. I dunno. It's just not a natural reaction for me I guess...
__________________
"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy." Lionel Hutz |
05-27-2004, 09:22 AM | #34 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Eternity
|
I only cry over emotional pain. Crying because you broke your arm does make you kind of a pussy. I get angry when I cut myself or break a bone
__________________
The mother of mankind, what time his pride Had cast him out from Heaven, with all his host Of rebel Angels |
05-27-2004, 12:55 PM | #35 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Above you
|
There is a very simple reason as to why men don't cry and why men in general is against showing any emotion under most of our history.
And here it is; It doesn't solve the problem! Simple eh?
__________________
- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth." |
05-27-2004, 01:10 PM | #37 (permalink) |
Comment or else!!
Location: Home sweet home
|
Onions will get me crying plenty. Emotional stuff, can't say for sure, I've seen tons of sad movies and events that other people would sob like a baby and I just sit there dumbfounded..I guess you can say I'm emotionally dead. Not that I have a problem with crying, I don't, crying is just something I don't see myself doing it. Crying because of physical pain? Can't remember the last time I've done that. When I'm hurt, I groan, I grunt, I scream, yell, shout. Again, I don't have a problem with crying, I just don't do it.
__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens. |
05-27-2004, 01:23 PM | #38 (permalink) |
Still fighting it.
|
pain makes my eyes water, but not sob. emotional pain makes me cry, but it has to be pretty extreme.
also, the idea that i have disappointed someone with my actions makes me choke up, but i don't go over the edge. the scariest thing of all was my mother had a cancer scare last year (everything is okay) but when i found out, i couldn't bring myself to cry. i felt like a complete cunt. it was only when i went to visit her in hospital and thought about losing her i broke down. |
05-27-2004, 03:30 PM | #40 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Tennessee
|
i cry over weird shit..
like when my grandmother died i tried to cry but couldnt, yet whenever i listen to the cd that my ex made for me of her talking about shit that she wants me to remember about her and shit that she liked me about i ball my eyes out.
__________________
Bye. |
Tags |
crying, men |
|
|