wee bit of a problem - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

guinnessgurl · 05-22-2004, 05:17 PM

I'm just curious here, how does everyone else view this? A friend showed me this site ( which judging by reading some of yer posts, a lot of you found this site that same way...) because they wanted to show me a post they'd done. I loved the look of the site, had been interested in finding a place where I could talk about things that interest me like photography and travelling and literature, etc. But when I asked for more info about joining up, this friend told me they didn't want me to because they considered this something that was theirs alone. Now I tried my best to respect their wishes (I spent three hours looking for a site anywhere close to this - but like many of you know, TFP is in its own class) and couldn't, so ended up joining up. This friend is still miffed about it and I dont' know what to do. I don't want to leave, I mean, it is a public forum after all, but I care about what my friend thinks. What should I do?

iamtheone · 05-22-2004, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by guinnessgurl
I'm just curious here, how does everyone else view this? A friend showed me this site ( which judging by reading some of yer posts, a lot of you found this site that same way...) because they wanted to show me a post they'd done. I loved the look of the site, had been interested in finding a place where I could talk about things that interest me like photography and travelling and literature, etc. But when I asked for more info about joining up, this friend told me they didn't want me to because they considered this something that was theirs alone. Now I tried my best to respect their wishes (I spent three hours looking for a site anywhere close to this - but like many of you know, TFP is in its own class) and couldn't, so ended up joining up. This friend is still miffed about it and I dont' know what to do. I don't want to leave, I mean, it is a public forum after all, but I care about what my friend thinks. What should I do?

Use an ID that they are unfamilar with and enjoy yourself

No one should ever tell you what you could do and where you can go. Think for yourself.

guinnessgurl · 05-22-2004, 05:23 PM

unfortunately they already know its me, and i'm just working on trying to resolve that, but that is what i'm doing - thinking for myself....

SixEdxMia · 05-22-2004, 05:25 PM

I am biased from already reading the other members complaint.

guinnessgurl · 05-22-2004, 05:27 PM

i don't care if you're biased - how do you feel about it?

iamtheone · 05-22-2004, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SixEdxMia
I am biased from already reading the other members complaint.

What's the story behind this?

Church · 05-22-2004, 05:45 PM

Who cares if they don't like it?

You. So if that person has a problem with it, then they can take it up with you. If they showed you the forum, then they freely showed you a part of them that they wanted you to see. If they didn't want you to see it, then they shouldn't have showed you. It sounds to me like your friend is acting very childish.

I can sort of see where they are coming from, but they did introduce you to us. So all I can say is welcome to the forum, continue posting, as the more that this person sees that you conduct yourself respectfully around here, the more he/she will learn to accept your being here.

SixEdxMia · 05-22-2004, 05:57 PM

I didn't have anything nice to say and could not say it intelligently or tactfully so I was edited by Cynthetiq.

Amethyst · 05-22-2004, 06:01 PM

I would agree with SixEdxMia. I think she was trying to say that she is not a good person to give you advice because she has already heard your friends complaint. Do you understand were she is coming from?

moonstrucksoul · 05-22-2004, 06:07 PM

i honestly can't see why you your friend wouldn't want you here, unless:

1. they are talking shit about you here, and don't want you to read it.
2. they are using the board as a means to hook-up, and don't want you to crush their game.
basically they are not your friend.

Amethyst · 05-22-2004, 06:18 PM

I know what you mean because I have a few friends on here and I am always thinking are they reading my posts and judging me for things I have done or said that they don't know. Does she know your user id? Well that one might be easy she could figure it out. That is what happened to me. I figure if they judge me or are offened by things I say then I don't really need them as friends anyway. Hopefully you will get this worked out.

This is what I said to your friend. And this is exactly how I felt when my friends joined.

Ace_O_Spades · 05-22-2004, 06:47 PM

well, I am SUPREMELY biased in this, so I can't put any opinion on this either...

it's messed up, but it seems like messed up stuff follows me around

[edit]

couldnt you girls just have settled this in private instead of bringing such a pointless argument to the forums? we're all adults here

StormBerlin · 05-22-2004, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by guinnessgurl
I'm just curious here, how does everyone else view this? A friend showed me this site ( which judging by reading some of yer posts, a lot of you found this site that same way...) because they wanted to show me a post they'd done. I loved the look of the site, had been interested in finding a place where I could talk about things that interest me like photography and travelling and literature, etc. But when I asked for more info about joining up, this friend told me they didn't want me to because they considered this something that was theirs alone. Now I tried my best to respect their wishes (I spent three hours looking for a site anywhere close to this - but like many of you know, TFP is in its own class) and couldn't, so ended up joining up. This friend is still miffed about it and I dont' know what to do. I don't want to leave, I mean, it is a public forum after all, but I care about what my friend thinks. What should I do?

Yeah, I read the thread she started about you. My opinion on it is that she was showing you the site because she thought you would like it, right? And then she tells you that you can't join? That's kinda childish. It's like handing someone the keys to a brand new car of their dreams and then telling them they can't go near it.

guinnessgurl · 05-22-2004, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amethyst
I would agree with SixEdxMia. I think she was trying to say that she is not a good person to give you advice because she has already heard your friends complaint. Do you understand were she is coming from?

yes, i do completely understand where she was coming from. i was only asking what she actually thought about it, because she didn't say how she felt, she just said that she was biased....

absorbentishe · 05-22-2004, 07:09 PM

If it smells, it must be bullshit. They wanted you to see something, but not be part of it for a reason. Now that you are here, they don't want you to see something. If they are like that, then apperently they really aren't your friend.

Ace_O_Spades · 05-22-2004, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by moonstrucksoul
i honestly can't see why you your friend wouldn't want you here, unless:

1. they are talking shit about you here, and don't want you to read it.
2. they are using the board as a means to hook-up, and don't want you to crush their game.
basically they are not your friend.

perhaps they enjoy the anonymity that being truly expressive at first sometimes requires... i went through the same thing years ago

guinnessgurl · 05-22-2004, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StormBerlin
Yeah, I read the thread she started about you. My opinion on it is that she was showing you the site because she thought you would like it, right? And then she tells you that you can't join? That's kinda childish. It's like handing someone the keys to a brand new car of their dreams and then telling them they can't go near it.

thanks, its nice to have at least some support on here. I love this site, and would love to keep posting, but certain people are making it difficult....

KWSN · 05-22-2004, 07:57 PM

I'd have to see what the other user in question has to say before really forming an opinion.

In general though, I can understand both sides. You have the right to sign up and no one can stop you, but in my case I quote the site all the time and people ask for a URL. Now, because of more personal posts, not about the people but about myself in general, I wouldn't necesarily want close friends reading things. However, I don't give out the URL. She shouldn't have given it to you if she didn't want you to sign up.

But then again, I'd have to read what she had to say.

analog · 05-22-2004, 08:07 PM

No member should ever tell someone they can't join, unless that person is not 18.

It's perfectly within your right to join, and they're stupid for showing you the place if they don't want you reading their stuff.

Please PM me, guinessgurl, if you don't get my PM.

05-22-2004, 05:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
guinnessgurl Crazy Location: here and there	wee bit of a problem I'm just curious here, how does everyone else view this? A friend showed me this site ( which judging by reading some of yer posts, a lot of you found this site that same way...) because they wanted to show me a post they'd done. I loved the look of the site, had been interested in finding a place where I could talk about things that interest me like photography and travelling and literature, etc. But when I asked for more info about joining up, this friend told me they didn't want me to because they considered this something that was theirs alone. Now I tried my best to respect their wishes (I spent three hours looking for a site anywhere close to this - but like many of you know, TFP is in its own class) and couldn't, so ended up joining up. This friend is still miffed about it and I dont' know what to do. I don't want to leave, I mean, it is a public forum after all, but I care about what my friend thinks. What should I do? __________________ Don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail - George Eliot

05-22-2004, 05:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
guinnessgurl Crazy Location: here and there	unfortunately they already know its me, and i'm just working on trying to resolve that, but that is what i'm doing - thinking for myself.... __________________ Don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail - George Eliot

05-22-2004, 05:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
SixEdxMia <3 Peetster Location: Peetster's house.	I am biased from already reading the other members complaint. __________________ Honey,We're home.

05-22-2004, 05:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
guinnessgurl Crazy Location: here and there	i don't care if you're biased - how do you feel about it? __________________ Don't go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail - George Eliot

05-22-2004, 05:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Church Tilted F*ckhead Location: New Jersey	Who cares if they don't like it? You. So if that person has a problem with it, then they can take it up with you. If they showed you the forum, then they freely showed you a part of them that they wanted you to see. If they didn't want you to see it, then they shouldn't have showed you. It sounds to me like your friend is acting very childish. I can sort of see where they are coming from, but they did introduce you to us. So all I can say is welcome to the forum, continue posting, as the more that this person sees that you conduct yourself respectfully around here, the more he/she will learn to accept your being here. __________________ Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

05-22-2004, 05:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
SixEdxMia <3 Peetster Location: Peetster's house.	I didn't have anything nice to say and could not say it intelligently or tactfully so I was edited by Cynthetiq. __________________ Honey,We're home. Last edited by Cynthetiq; 05-23-2004 at 02:43 AM..

05-22-2004, 06:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
Amethyst Addict Location: Illinois	I would agree with SixEdxMia. I think she was trying to say that she is not a good person to give you advice because she has already heard your friends complaint. Do you understand were she is coming from?

05-22-2004, 06:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
moonstrucksoul hovering in the distance Location: the land of milk and honey	i honestly can't see why you your friend wouldn't want you here, unless: 1. they are talking shit about you here, and don't want you to read it. 2. they are using the board as a means to hook-up, and don't want you to crush their game. basically they are not your friend. __________________ no signature required

05-22-2004, 06:18 PM	#11 (permalink)
Amethyst Addict Location: Illinois	I know what you mean because I have a few friends on here and I am always thinking are they reading my posts and judging me for things I have done or said that they don't know. Does she know your user id? Well that one might be easy she could figure it out. That is what happened to me. I figure if they judge me or are offened by things I say then I don't really need them as friends anyway. Hopefully you will get this worked out. This is what I said to your friend. And this is exactly how I felt when my friends joined.

05-22-2004, 06:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ace_O_Spades The Death Card Location: EH!?!?	well, I am SUPREMELY biased in this, so I can't put any opinion on this either... it's messed up, but it seems like messed up stuff follows me around [edit] couldnt you girls just have settled this in private instead of bringing such a pointless argument to the forums? we're all adults here __________________ Feh.

05-22-2004, 07:09 PM	#15 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	If it smells, it must be bullshit. They wanted you to see something, but not be part of it for a reason. Now that you are here, they don't want you to see something. If they are like that, then apperently they really aren't your friend.

05-22-2004, 07:57 PM	#18 (permalink)
KWSN green	I'd have to see what the other user in question has to say before really forming an opinion. In general though, I can understand both sides. You have the right to sign up and no one can stop you, but in my case I quote the site all the time and people ask for a URL. Now, because of more personal posts, not about the people but about myself in general, I wouldn't necesarily want close friends reading things. However, I don't give out the URL. She shouldn't have given it to you if she didn't want you to sign up. But then again, I'd have to read what she had to say. __________________ Your arms are broken!

05-22-2004, 08:07 PM	#19 (permalink)
analog Banned	No member should ever tell someone they can't join, unless that person is not 18. It's perfectly within your right to join, and they're stupid for showing you the place if they don't want you reading their stuff. Please PM me, guinessgurl, if you don't get my PM.