k1ng

Ok, so I'm thinking about changing my voicemail message on my phone, but I have no idea what to say. I think everyone knows that I'm not picking up my phone and to leave their name/number. I'm looking for a basic message without using all the cliched jokes/messages.

What message do you use for your voicemail? Or can you suggest a good basic message for me?

Thanks guys.. =)

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Halx

"Hello? ......................................... Oh I forgot, I'm not availible right now...."

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Fearless_Hyena

all I ever do is let the robot voice read off my number or say the automated "leave a message"

wilbjammin

try this -

"knock knock knockin' on heaven's dooo-ooo-ooorrr"

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Innominate.

animosity

the first thing that came to mind was, "this is bill, you know the drill."
but sense your name isnt bill....

use your email msg, "mail! mother fucker!" only change it to "message! mother fucker!" but sense you dont want to say fucker on your voice mail.....

just say, "hey joo, you know what to do."

Chingal0

"Hi, this is Mike. Leave a message."

That works wonders!

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"Eventually I became too sexy for my gym membership fee."

WarWagon

"Hey, whats up?..... Whoa whoa whoa, I thought I told your sorry ass never to call me again!"

brinkn1

Hi, you've reached *insert name here*.

I enjoy listening to Van Halen and watching reruns of Saved By The Bell.

Leave a message.

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Speed_Gibson

my answering machine has decent impression of W.C. Fields with the kind of thing he was known for saying.

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Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder

Harshaw

As soon as I am done job hunting, mine will say "Hi, I never check this thing and I have caller ID. I'll know you called. Please wait 6-8 weeks for a reply"

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This too shall pass.

tehhappyboy

Sung To beethoven's 9th:

Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,

So leave your naaaaaame.
Also a num-berrr.




That or,
"Believe it or not George(or whatever your name is) isn't at home
so leave a messaggge at the beep.

I must be out
or i'd pick up the phone
where could I be?
Belive it or not, i'm not home...."
BEEP.

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I'm a happy boy, happy boy,
way to get when things are going your way. Hey Hey.

...Pretty sure I asked for Pecan Sandies...

guthmund

My friend's message goes as such....

I thought it was real funny the first time and the first dozen or so new messages were pretty fun to listen to. Pretty colorful as well.

He also changes the lyrics of popular songs to reflect that he's not home right now and sings them himself. That's pretty funny.

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No signature. None. Seriously.

MSD

Dude, that's Beethoven's fifth, not ninth.

bookerV

I have friends who are twins who left this as their message. Except they said "Home" instead of "Here".

I have a friend who left the entire george song as his voicemail message. Each of these was extremely funny the first couple of times that I called.

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Rubyee

I used to play really cheesy elevator music on my phone- Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass works.

Also, I would hold the phone up to the toilet, flush it, and make the caller guess why I didn't answer the phone.

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You don't know from fun.

Redlemon

Well, I just tried, and you CAN sing it to the 9th. It just doesn't fit quite as well.

NoSoup

Well, not sure if you are in the habit of starting your phone conversations off the same way each time, but after I noticed I did, I had a little fun w/ my voicemail. It went something like this.

"Hello?"
Pause
"Hey! How you been?"
Pause
"That's Cool, Watcha been up to?"
Pause
"Me? I'm actually not here right now, but you can leave me a message if you like"
***Beep***

As you can imagine I got some pretty interesting voicemails.

My favorite, however, was this girl that hadn't apparently understood that it was just a message, so she continued answering the "whatcha been up to" ... then she's like... uh, are you there? Hello? Hello? *click*

Lol

Harshaw

In college I had a female friend, and one day when she wasn't looking I changed hers to

(deepest manliest voice I could muster)

"Hi, This is Erin, I'm not feeling myself right now. Please leave me a message and I will get back to do."

She didn't think it was very funny.

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This too shall pass.

CSflim

A friend used to have one similar to the trick one, mentioned laready. It went something like

Hello?.........Sorry, what? (confused)....Who is this!? And what do you want?

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Redgirl

Mine used to say:
Hi, we're either not home or just don't feel like talking to you! So leave a message if you want.

I always think honesty is the best policy.

BTW- I fucking HATE the ones that make you think they really answered when it's just their recording!!

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

feelgood

"Hey, you've reached Jeff's voicemail. If you're my boss, I'm not home. If you're a family, I'm home but I ain't time to put up with your shit. If you're a hot chick, call me on my cell at 555-2152, thank you"

/lame attempt

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billege

I need to use that.

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I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."

k1ng

What do you guys think of this one:
"Hi, this is 'k1ng'... Ok, now it's your turn."

I haven't heard that one before, so i think its pretty original. what do you guys think about it?

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"Delight in excellence is easily confused with snobbery by the ignorant." -Joseph Epstein

hu-man

This is beep. I am not at home right now, but leave a message after the John. No, wait...*beep*

I just made that up! If you use it, please send me a coconut.

Redgirl

k1ng and hu-man- those are both new to me and funny IMO. I like short messages, especially when I call the person a lot. I hate to hear the same long damn message over and over.

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

The_wall

make it "ok so I was gonna leave a typical message here but then I thought why not make it more interesting. So I was gonna do the message where you think I'm actually here talking to you when its actually just voicemail, then I figured probably thousands of people do that. So then I tried to think of something funny to put in here but couldn't come up with anything good enough, so this is my voicemail message.

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Procrastinate now, don't put off to the last minute.

Charlatan

I can't come to the phone right now because I'm on the couch (or sofa or chesterfield... whatever works in your part of the world).

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zxello

"Phone's on vibrate and I'm not finished yet, keep callin back and i'll pick up in 2-3 minutes"

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Old signature just wasn't doing it for me anymore, so now I have this new one. It's equally as stupid but at least it looks really long. I'm probably just going to keep typing until I run out of things to babble about and see how many people actually read this. I once ran down a hill, fell down and hurt my elbow; my mom said I would be ok, she kissed it and made it all better. I've run out of things to say now, so if you have read this whole thing, congratulations you get a gold star!

God of Thunder

I used something similar to this for a while, but changed it while job-hunting a few years back.


Hi, I'm not home right now and I can't afford an answering machine, so I've trained the fridgerator to answer my calls. Talk real slow so he can write down the message and then he will stick it on the front with one of those cute magnets. I'll get the message the next time I go for a beer. Thanks...*beep*


If you use it, send me a beer.

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Reese

I like:

Hello?
*pause*
Hey! What's up! I'm not here so just tell it to my voice mail or call me on my cell ph...
*Click*
(heavy breathing) Hello!?
*pause*
Gotcha, You're still talking to the voicemail, leave a message after the... *beep*

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Ishmal

on one of my old phones i downloaded a voice mail message from the internet...

it went...

Music: "Mission Impossible" theme song

Voice: deep male voice

saying:

"i'm sorry, the president is not in his office at this time. please leave your Name, Number, and the Name of the Country you wish to invade after the tone and he will get back to you."

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Sue

Here. All the answering machine messages you'll ever need.

http://coolsig.com/6/7/1

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fhqwhgads

I never saw the need to come up with a witty answering machine message to show people how clever I can be. That type of shit should be left for online forum signatures.

Sue

LOL, that was hilarious

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present_future

Hey this is (insert your name here) you know what to do after the beep. But if you really don't know wha to do, I'm not going to waste my time with you, you ignorant fuck!

That could be interesting.

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BigBen

"Hey, remember 20 years ago, before there was such a thing as answering machines and call-display?

Remember that you had to be home in order to take a call, and it could be your best friend or a bill collector?

Remember the phone being attached to the wall in the kitchen, and if you were lucky you got a long cord so you could walk to the fridge and get something to drink?


Me Neither. Leave a fucking message."

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Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

djflish

To the tune of We Will Rock You by Queen:

I will, I will, call-you-back!
I will, I will, call-you-back!

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micah67

(Movie-phone voice)

Hello! Thank you for calling the Spank-Me hotline!
If you've been bad, press 1!
If I've been bad, press 2!
Enter Now! (*beep*)

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~micah

Siege

"Welcome to Seige's fridge. Please talk REAL slow so I can spell out your message with the magnets."

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This part just makes my posts easier to find

meembo

Right after I got divorced, I had a female friend with a beautiful, husky voice record something in Spanish that sounded great. I have no idea what it said, but it was so exotic and different that I loved it and didn't change it until I moved. I may have lost a message or two, but I can say that I haven't missed anything!

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