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You've got to be fucking shitting me. That is unreal.
I'm speechless... I really hope this is some parody/satire site, i'm just to tired to look at the site itself. Though, i wouldn't be suprised if it isnt. |
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The sad reality is that it's not. Chick Tracts have been around as long as I can remember, inflamming the masses (pun intended). |
WHAT.ON.EARTH?
Next thing they'll ban playing cards because it inevitably leads to gambling away your life-savings in illegal cock-fights... My first thought was a louzy attempt at satire too. Then I looked up the site it came from... I am honestly disgusted when I read what this so-called christian has to say about D&D. Honestly, if the author believes these things are real and you will cast spells to influence others... then who here is the mentally twisted individual? The player who enjoys a little social passtime? Or the author who's mind cannot seem to grasp even the meaning of the word "fantasy" ? |
Yeah I have seen that before. Everytime I play D&D I think of that and laugh.
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I tore this off of the site http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp
Where the comic came from Quote:
And that whole idiotic slandering TSR: the authentic rituals around the table go something like: "I cast Lightning." "Ok, roll dice to check for damage." And here I thought a ritual would involve a little more... Argl, why am I getting worked up over this moronic site? :) |
Sounds like Chick missed his save against Feeblemind. Such is life.
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Chikapu is Satan Incarnate, and has captured the minds of your children. Bow down before the lord of chicken/kitten things, that you may feel the power of badly done anime.
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Man I can't believe this, what a load of crap.... Dungeon Masters are never that hot.
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This is one of the few things I have seen on the TFP that I can, in all honesty, say I find offensive.
But then I find all crap like this offensive. I can only hope that there are more of us than them. |
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This one is my personal "favorite". I like how they've drawn the "creationist" teacher to resemble an evil witch, or something. Nice little piece of propaganda work. :mad: |
We used to find them along the urinals at work all the time. Nothing brightens up my day like a good Chick tract.
Now if you'll forgive me, I've got some people to curse and demons to call....if I can just find my dice..... {Edit: I just read the link above.... "No, Timmy most people will end up in Hell." |
you should see some of the things I've read about the Harry Potter books and movies.....it's really scary.....now can we burn the churches??
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ahhhh laugh out loud funny, that comic is from 1984, literally, the first illustrated panel shows a copyright date from 1984. If you aren't old enough to remember, the christian war against D&D was a big thing in the early/mid eighties.
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HOLY SHIT.
Who the hell actually believes or spreads this bullshit?? I mean... DAMN. EDIT: They call Catholicism NOT a christian church! |
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Yeah, they're pretty old school hard core fundamentalist. (BTW, since I'm in one of those churches, please don't burn them Midnight_Son :D ) |
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Ugh...I used to get those as "tips" when I waitressed. |
D&D doesn't make me worship Satan, it only let's me form a nice working relationship with him.
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http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0900/0900_01.asp
This is the best one. Compares Chick Tracts to Chinese Communist propaganda, which was similarly presented in the form of comic books. He calls his own message propaganda without hesitation, irony or self-awareness, as if it's supposed to convince the average American to buy [into] his shit. Oh yes, it's all for sale. Chick is making a fat wad out of exploiting Christians' unwillingness to get n people's hostile faces about their faith. You buy a gross of Chick tracts and leave them places for people to find. Your contract with Jesus is fulfilled, you get to go to heaven and Chick gets paid, his conscience clear. |
I love Jack Chick, such a funny man. As for the Dark Dungeon tract, I have been level 12 for some time and I haven't been taught any spells. I guess I'm going to have to settle for "I, I attack the darkness" and "I want to cast Magic Missle."
My favorite chick quotes are "I don't want to be elfstar anymore. I want to be Debbie" and from the Gomez tract "Tonight we serve you the taco supreme". http://www.chick.com/tractimages57519/0013/0013_10.gif The worst tract ever ,in my opinion, is "Lisa": "LISA" Review! (Art by Carter ©1984.) This has GOT to be the most uncomfortable Chick tract ever written. Not because it's insensitive, but because the topic is SUPER sensitive: Child Molestation-- by the parent! The story follows a jobless, hen pecked husband as he stays at home and watches pornography. His beer bellied next door neighbor comes over to watch with him, then drops a bomb shell: "I know what's going on with (you and your daughter) Lisa... That's pretty juicy gossip. I'll keep quiet, old buddy, if we can share and share alike!" WHOA! The story suddenly kicks into hyper-gear. The very next panel, hen-pecked Henry is catching another bomb shell, this time from his doctor who just ran tests on Lisa. She has Herpes! And she told the doctor how her daddy and his neighbor are to blame! He screams that she is a liar, but the wise old doctor doesn't buy it. Just when you expect the police to arrive and cart Henry off, the doctor launches into a sermon about Jesus and forgiveness. Henry instantly converts (hey, it beats the big house!) and mums the word on daddy's dirty deeds. Henry races home and tells his wife he's saved. She admits she knew about the molestation all along, because her *!%* uncle did the same thing to her (so it's a family tradition). They pray together and tears flood from every eye ball. They call Lisa and we see how young she really is for the first time. It's shocking. She still carries a teddy bear and looks maybe five years old. We're talking MAJOR molestation and rape here, but all seems forgiven. Never mind the incurable child Herpes, or the unrepentant next door neighbor. The important thing is, another saved soul. I must be vindictive, because I wanted to see someone dive into the Lake, or at least get raped in prison. Giving the perp a good dose of AIDS would have been poetic justice. Instead, nobody is punished except the victim. (I guess that's more realistic than most of us like to admit.) This tract is currently out of print, but it's a favorite. Grade: A for Adult Content http://www.monsterwax.com/chickreviews.html#lisa |
Lebell. The pics got rexed. Do you have a link?
FOUND IT! |
Chick's site changes the numbers after the pictures its seems, this should work though...
(edit: I hope you don't mind that I pasted your links into the top post. Thanks for getting those. -lebell) |
This happened to me just last week. I should have visited chick.com sooner. Thanks for the heads ups Lebell. ;)
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Just my two cents worth...
Can't say if this is necessarily the view of the mainstream Christian church, so just want to warn you guys not to start burning down churches just yet. |
Just a thought I had, if Debbie was a real friend she would take a player's guide, three 6-sided dice and a photocopied character sheet over to Marcie's house to roll up a new ambassador to satan's embassy.
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Wow. Frightening what belief can be perverted into.
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When I've played D&D there have never actualy been any rituals. I don't know what this guy is smoking
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I can't believe this is supposed to be for real. I mean, come on!
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...I suppose I could leave one standing, just out of kindness:icare: |
Aahhh the 80s DnD will make you burn in hell. Listen to Judas Priest and youll kill yourself. Who shot JR? wow....flashbacks are fun.
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Our club (Terrapin Gaming Club at the University of Maryland) plans on distributing these tracts as flyers for open gaming night. Great publicity.
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It's interesting that with such a diverse bunch as we are at TFP, so far not one person has stood up for this crap. I find the idea that adults and children are taken in by this message and, Chick turns a profit, to be sickening. |
I want to be Debbie!
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I feel cheated. I could of been casting 'Holy Smite' all this time.
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