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Lunchbox7 03-27-2004 02:15 PM

Back in My day
 
Ive just realised that I cant remember the last time someone said "please" or "thankyou". It has been so long since someone has shown a little bit of courtesy. Ive always adopted the philosohpy that you are never too busy for good manners. Im wondering if courtesy is dead if not dying? I accept that I have very little faith in humanity and that could very well be biasing my memory. Im wondering if anyone else has noticed this? What is everyones thoughts on the topic?

The_wall 03-27-2004 03:33 PM

I hear please and thankyou all the time. However there do seem to be a lot of dicks in this world that only care about themselves

MaGlC_MaN 03-27-2004 03:36 PM

move to the south.. it's different down here :)

Psivage 03-27-2004 05:10 PM

I say please and thank you all the time. Maybe it is where you live or the company you keep.

qtpye4u84 03-27-2004 05:37 PM

Same thing happened to me kinda, more ppl thses days are rude/no Manners
I had some pop corn and my brother in law said "give me some"
he could of been nice and said can i have some. When my in laws
chew there food you can hear them chewing and smacking there mouth there really loud.
THey let there kids climb on the dinner table and sit on it. To me that is gross cause ppl eat there where there kids feet and butt were.
I hate it when some one bumps into you and they
dont even say sorry or excuse me, what i heard from my hubby was, mostly asians r rude like that he should know hes asian lol his brother and him were talking about how asians
are the ppl he notices that dont say excuse me or what not but to me I think a lot of ppl when they grow up they forget or no one ever teaches them, I always say please&thank you,excuse me,or sorry if i bump into some one lol i even say sorry if they are the ones that bump into me.

Xell101 03-27-2004 06:21 PM

One time while out of J.C. Penny with two new pairs of extremely comfortable pants they don't make anymore, god damn trends, I held the door open for some people and only two of the 6 people that walked through said thanks, only four aknowledged me, one gave me a "what's your angle" look, and the other a very inhospitable "I'm not impressed, ye' shall get no poon perv" glare. Where I live (Football culture town in Mass populated mainly by 17 and below, whoopee...) people generally are nice yet sneaky, but pretty much every mean one is crazy.

monkeysugar 03-27-2004 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by qtpye4u84

I hate it when some one bumps into you and they
dont even say sorry of excuse me, what i heard from my hubby
is that mostly asian are rude like that he should know hes asian lol his brother and him were talking baout how asians
are maily the ppl he notices that dont say excuse me or what not but to me I think a lot of ppl when they grow up they forget or no one ever teaches them, I always say please thank you excuse me or sorry if i bump into some one lol i even say sorry if they are the ones that bump into me

I guess different cultures have different ideas about what constitutes rudeness. My girlfriend is Asian, and grew up in Japan. She informed me that it is not considered rude in Japan. In the U.S., it is considered rude not to tip restaraunt workers. In Japan, tipping the waitstaff is considered insulting.

With that said, nothing pisses me off more than when someone bumps into me (not slightly brushes agains me, mind you) and acts as if nothing has happened. Personally, I apologize even when I lightly brush up against someone, but that's just me.

MSD 03-27-2004 09:10 PM

I act politely toward everyone*. Hopefully some of it will rub off on them and the world will become a better place. ........ Who am I trying to fool? Most people are assholes who will never change.

*does not apply while driving

monkeysugar 03-27-2004 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
I act politely toward everyone*.
*does not apply while driving

ROTFLMAO I second that, MrSelfDestruct.

feelgood 03-27-2004 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaGlC_MaN
move to the south.. it's different down here :)
Move to the North of border, us Canadian knows exactly when to say those two ;)

guthmund 03-27-2004 10:15 PM

I'm considerate when consideration is due.

If I'm standing there holding the door open for you, I like a little acknowledgment. If I'm feeling particularly peevish, I like to let them know about it.

I also hate fatheads who block the hallways. People are talking and suddenly there's a logjam. They're usually so wrapped up in their conversation they completely ignore those of us who need to get by. I make it a point of bumping them. Hard.

I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet, but if you can't show some common courtesy you don't even count as human in my book.

analog 03-28-2004 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
I act politely toward everyone*. Hopefully some of it will rub off on them and the world will become a better place. ........ Who am I trying to fool? Most people are assholes who will never change.

*does not apply while driving


LMFAO

I say please and thank you and all that. Pisses me off that others don't. It's common courtesy.

TheBrit 03-28-2004 02:10 AM

I say it all the time, and when I am at school teachers are often more lenient with me because I make an effort to be polite, well dressed etc. It is a nice thing to do, only takes a second and by the sounds of what a few of you are saying here it could make all the difference to your day. Guys who are reading this and don't do it (and there must be some of you) try it for a day!

Kaos 03-28-2004 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by feelgood
Move to the North of border, us Canadian knows exactly when to say those two ;)
:lol: Pretty true though. Usually I get a thank you when holding the door for someone, or get a friendly wave when I let someone into traffic ahead of me, etc.

But when it doesn't happen, it irks me because it's rare.

Luki 03-28-2004 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaGlC_MaN
move to the south.. it's different down here :)
This is somewhat true, but I noticed, while going to school down south, that although they may use please and thank you ma'am/sir they have over choise words that are more creative and much more harsh then the ones I'd heard up north.

I have always said please and thank you, I grew up with a very strict father and these were necessities to not getting bruises on my ass.

Yalaynia 03-28-2004 11:06 AM

I m always polite. When I walk by someone or sneak inbetween them and what they are looking at I always say sorry or excuse me. Please and thank you is something I always say.
I have my son saying excuse me from the table and when hes done eatting dinner. I give him a light tap on the head or remind him by saying he forgot something and then hes does say sorry and asks again correctly by saying please or thank you.
I hate people that barge into you or bump you without saying anything. People step on my foot and they dont even say sorry for it. Being on the bus you get a lot of the highschool young punks and they never say anything when they push by you. Kinda sad and makes you wonder what they get away with at home.
I just try to be polite in hopes that it might rub off onto others.

irateplatypus 03-28-2004 03:08 PM

I live in Oklahoma...

We say "please" and "thankyou" almost to a fault around here. I can't count how many times i've felt bad because someone saw me coming from way off and stood by the door to let me in. I mean seriously fella, that wasn't necessary.

I'm a guy, I imagine that this is even more true for women around here.

Bamrak 03-28-2004 04:22 PM

I think it's a southern thing. I always try to hold the door for someone, or acknowledge it when someone does something nice for me. I think it's more surprising when people aren't polite than if they are.
I guess we just respect each other more as people?

cchris 03-30-2004 10:24 AM

Keep the faith.

Common courtesy is one of those things in life that should come natural and yes............

The further South you go the better. :thumbsup:

Bill O'Rights 03-30-2004 11:48 AM

I dunno. I grew up in Pennsylvania, raised by a "Southern" mother. My manners are impeccable. However, in general, the manners that I find in Omaha, are few to nonexistent. I have found the people of New York City to be better mannered than most Omahans. How's that for your friendly midwest?

Karby 03-31-2004 08:27 PM

where i'm from we don't have manners...well we have okay manners, it's just that overall, they could be better. on the plus side, we're generally nice people...well, some of us anyway. i'm not very nice..

WarWagon 03-31-2004 08:47 PM

I don't always say please, but I always say thank you, and I always hold the door.

Xiomar 04-02-2004 08:37 AM

Heh. If someone want something... I treat them like a child and make them say please and thank you. I do the thing where you stare at them.. waiting for it. It's led to many moments of blank "what?" stares.

And I always have said please and thank you. Always will.

Yakk 04-02-2004 08:45 AM

In Canada, if your foot is stepped on, it is traditional to say "I'm sorry."

=)

Kllr Wolf 04-02-2004 08:00 PM

I am one of those that says thank you quite a few times in a day. I hear it many times also. I guess it is the area I live in.

sailor 04-02-2004 08:06 PM

I say it all the time.

Where the hell do you live? ;)

qtpye4u84 04-02-2004 08:21 PM

Man lol when i was at a asian blessing thing lol with monks, I was the only white girl there and I triped and fell infront of like 40 ppl that were at my home I only knew like 33 of them) due to a death in the family and when i fell i landed on a old ladys hand and i said sorry but she said nothing back so it made me feel worse. I went down stairs and cryed. Oh and monks arent supposed to be touched by a girl or they will like lose there power and i accidently brushed by one but i dont think he noticed(hopefully) I said excuse me though.

sexymama 04-02-2004 08:59 PM

Many of my young students have not been taught manners. I insist they say please, thank you, sorry for . . . (I don't like sorry without identifying what for as it doesn't feel sincere to me), and that they wait until the adults are done talking before talking (stand quietly waiting, don't interrupt.) It is amazing how many are not taught these skills at home.

AS for me and my children -- we are not perfect, but we have manners!

kurty[B] 04-02-2004 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sexymama
Many of my young students have not been taught manners. I insist they say please, thank you, sorry for . . . (I don't like sorry without identifying what for as it doesn't feel sincere to me), and that they wait until the adults are done talking before talking (stand quietly waiting, don't interrupt.) It is amazing how many are not taught these skills at home.

AS for me and my children -- we are not perfect, but we have manners!

Thanks sexymama, it's good to know someone is doing this!! I always hold doors open, and say thank you and please as much as possible, plus sorry and excuse me in applicable situations. Most of the time when people see you smiling at them while you hold the door open or something like that they'll say "Thank you" (maybe it's the area I live?), and I try to make sure to at least nod my head to let them know I appreciate their thanks, or say "your welcome".

I do notice that if you say thank you and such to people who normally don't, they'll in turn be a bit more polite with you.

I sure hope common courtesy doesn't die, it's amazing how simple things can bring a smile to one's face.

fatboss 04-02-2004 10:33 PM

We have the typical 'Bosses Son' working here. You know the type. Thinks he knows it all. In fact he knows fuck all!

He's always trying to get me to do 'favours' for him. Not once do I get a please or thank you!. Now I treat him like one of my own kids......'what's the magic word?'

He looks utterly embarrassed because I say it loud enough for all to hear. And yet the next time he asks, he forgets again!

Youngsters today! Grrrrrrrrr!

kl0pper 04-02-2004 11:55 PM

i say please, thank you, ma'am and sir...
it makes people smile, makes me feel better

Yakk 04-04-2004 05:53 AM

So, I've heard at least one rant about the difference between "You're welcome" and "No problem" as a response to "Thank you". (Go go Finkleman!)

Does anyone here see any differences?

John Henry 04-04-2004 06:37 AM

I do believe in being polite and decent to people, but I think that being too petty about other people's manners is very rude in itself.

I don't see any problem with not saying 'please' or 'thank you' as long as the implication of platitude is there. A 'cheers' or 'nice one, mate' always seems warmer and more genuine to me than a formal 'thank you.'

As for bumping into people and apologising, I decided last night that that is dependent on circumstance. I was in a club where it was impossible to get around without pushing past people, because certainly nobody could hear you if you said 'excuse me'. I discovered that if I jostled past people and carried on, nobody seemed to give a fuck (pardon my language), but if I stopped to apologise or tapped them on the shoulder to ask if I could get past, their attitude was one of 'Why are you wasting my time?'

Just one more example before I bore you all rigid. My old Latin teacher used to tell us off if we said 'pardon' and would even prefer us to say 'what?'. This was because 'pardon' is just an abbreviation of 'I beg your pardon', which is in itself an abbreviation of 'I beg your pardon, but I didn't quite hear what you said. Would you mind repeating it, please?' and as such is completely meaningless on its own.

Essentially, politeness is not a matter of following protocol, but simply demonstrating respect for others, however you do it.

raeanna74 04-04-2004 02:29 PM

I went to the grocery store this morning for Donuts and a newspaper. Gave and received a smile from a stanger, exchanged a hello with another customer I'd never seen before. When asked what kind of bag I said "Paper please." Said thankyou to the cashier, bagboy. Told my daughter (3 yrs old) to say thankyou for the sticker that the cashier gave her. The cashier told me thanks for coming, bagboy too. Daughter picked up a piece of paper off the floor that the bagboy had dropping. The young boy told her thankyou.

That's just in a visit to the grocery store. I don't live down south and I don't live in Canada. I live in a small town in Wisconsin. There's polite people and rude people everywhere. If you just make sure you aren't one of the rude people you are doing your job.

Mephisto2 04-04-2004 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Psivage
I say please and thank you all the time. Maybe it is where you live or the company you keep.
I agree with Psivage. I say "please" and "thank you" all the time, especially to those with whom I have no or only a passing acquaintance.

I think it's got to do with the way you're raised. Manners (and simple courtesy) are very important to me, as they were to my parents. And, I must say, as they shall be to my children.

Hell, I even stand when a lady enters the room or leaves/joins the dinner table (casual situations with my wife excepted of course).

Mr Mephisto

Mephisto2 04-04-2004 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by John Henry

Just one more example before I bore you all rigid. My old Latin teacher used to tell us off if we said 'pardon' and would even prefer us to say 'what?'. This was because 'pardon' is just an abbreviation of 'I beg your pardon', which is in itself an abbreviation of 'I beg your pardon, but I didn't quite hear what you said. Would you mind repeating it, please?' and as such is completely meaningless on its own.

Well, with all due respect to your Latin teacher, but that's just nonesense. By the same reasoning, "what" is just short for "What did you say?"

What's the difference? They're both reductions of a longer sentence. And saying "What?" IS considered less polite.


Mr Mephisto

uptown 04-06-2004 01:21 AM

Many people seem to have lost general manners and seldom do you see folks who go out of their way to be pleasant and gracious.

It takes little effort to smile and add a nice word or two during the course of our interactions with others,makes the day so much more agreeable.I wonder why people can't see that? Is charm a lost art?


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