LOL I thought it was serious too in the beginning :lol:

HAhaha, sheer brilliance ;)

I almost bought it. I was all ready to explain just how good masturbating vs. sex is for teenagers.

(Although I must admit I was shocked when I learned my young son was ALREADY doing it. He just seemed so young. I thought he'd wait until he was at least --- well, let's say -- 30 or so.)

WHAT?!? I don't think she's kidding guys... :crazy:

Wait a minute. Hilary Duff in gangbangs... definitely never going to happen. :lol:

Great satire! :)

Oh my...I, as many posters have also said, believed this as I first started reading (although I wondered why anyone of that mindset would be on the TFP), but as I went along, I came to appreciate this piece for (what I hope) it is: great comedy!

That's truly a fantastically written piece. This is just what I needed to get my mind off some stuff.

Haha. That's great!

lol
great piece

at first i was like WTF? this can't be true, OMG! Then the more I read I was like this isn't real, it can't be!

Good for a laugh though, I know a few gullible people who might actually believe this too!!!!! HE HE HE

Nice satire. All I have to say is no MAM.

excellent. and i was just readin today that frequent masturbation was good for you ( )http://uk.news.yahoo.com/040407/12/eqj15.html

i was mad then shocked then mad again, then laughed for a few minutes...

good one,

Jeez, I thought you were SERIOUS!

I stopped half way, and was about to ask what the hell was wrong with you, until I saw the posts under it.:lol:

It reminds me of a friend of mine who got caught masturbating by his dad, and his dad beat the shit out of him with a hockey stick.

Better to masturbate than to go postal with an Uzzi!

LOLs!

You had me going there for a minute. Holy crap, I was about to flame!

wow back from the dead.

still good to read again.

I, like quite a few others, thought you were serious at first. It was great.

All masturbators and liberals eat babies.

like a phoenix it rises from the dead...

Your cause is lost... Almost 100% of the young men masturbate...

Very entertaining piece.

And I masturbated so much as a boy that I can't understand why my penis isn't 8 inches longer.

________ Huh?

I always liked this statistic. But who checks? I mean, how do you say it with authority? Who's been peeking?

The other way that I hear it phrased is 99% of young men masturbate and 1% lie on questionnaires.

codpiece
:thumbsup:
Guess what's in my mind now......you..
I love a teenage boys mother who tastes boxer shorts! :eek:

JIC you are the occassional twist that has made it onto this board - wtf? Your kid jerks off, and you're upset? How would you feel if he tells you Darla from the Diner is pregnant - and they way want to keep it?!
Everyone jerks off. If you don't, you should. Ask for pointers if in doubt. It's better to spill the seed than bring an unwanted seed.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Send this to Bush. He'll love it!

And by the way, where can I get a copy of "clit collector?"

Thats Life! The Wonder of it all.

Had me goin right up until I saw the word Jezebell. Who the hell uses that word anymore?! I mean c'mon.

:lol: Very funny

my god, this is good stuff

the first few paragraphs I honestly took it serious, thinking, how can anyone be this puritan and stuck up about something that almost everyone does...

then I got to the final few paragraphs and realised that it was going over the top into the obvious satire regions.

very well done :)

OMG. u got me there for a while. :|

"Time Magazine reports that, " Every person that has ever killed another human being has masturbated at some point in their life usually within days of the crime". If that isn't enough to send a shiver through your entire body, I don't know what is."

Thats great..

like others i started ou thinking this was real, thenit was really wierd then I got it.. Somedays I'm a bit slow.. Great piece thanks..

I love jacking off

Wow, had me going for a bit. Then I got to

Boy is a straight A+ student.
Boy discovers pornography.
Boy starts using degrading words such as, bitch, ho, and slut.
Boy starts dowloading large amounts of hardcore pornography from the internet.
Boy starts to abuse women.
Boy writes about masturbation on the internet.
Boy rapes his own mother.

I think I remember something like that from school about marijuana leading to all the other drugs and finally to murder or something.

Boy is a straight A+ student.
Boy discovers pornography.
Boy starts using degrading words such as, bitch, ho, and slut.
Boy starts dowloading large amounts of hardcore pornography from the internet.
Boy starts to abuse women.
Boy writes about masturbation on the internet.
Boy rapes his own mother.

It is a slippery slope, isn't it?

thought it was for real. lol good laugh

lol, at first i thought it was serious! very funny piece :)

For some odd reason Chuck Palahniuk came in my mind when I read that.
Liked it a lot!

lol, that wa so funny!

that was hilarious
i really liked the time magazine article