Best. Rejection. Letter. Ever. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Mephisto2 · 03-23-2004, 05:52 PM

I know I posted this before (in one of my SFW Mephisto Links I think), but it's so funny I decided to show it again.

Now, to make this a real thread, do YOU have any funny rejection stories? Work, personal, sex... it's all good.

Mr Mephisto

Redlemon · 03-23-2004, 05:56 PM

When I was in college, one of the people in my dorm received a form rejection letter. However, the person entering the fields into the database messed up, so it appeared that everyone in the dorm was rejected in one fell swoop. "Dear Mr. Nameofdorm".

hannukah harry · 03-23-2004, 06:22 PM

actually, there's a great new rejection hotline. so if you're at the bar, you can give that number to someone and then when they call you a few days later, it's actually the rejection hotline, and the message is funny as hell. if you google rejection hotline, you should come up with the site (i don't want post it, that would be against rules?)

RoboBlaster · 03-23-2004, 08:30 PM

hahaha, that's so awesome. Though all my rejection letters have been crippling sad.

skysooner · 03-23-2004, 08:47 PM

I love the "skank ho" line.

feelgood · 03-23-2004, 09:12 PM

lol, that's awesome I especially love the "Quite frankly, you scare us"

nanofever · 03-23-2004, 10:00 PM

I have my rejection letter from UCLA....... but I didn't want to go there anyway. GO CAL *still hoping for CAL admission*

Date the Banana · 03-23-2004, 10:01 PM

Worst rejection:

me: Wanno go out with me?
not to be: meh

When it's not even worth it to her to come up with a verbal reply...

Spartak · 03-23-2004, 10:37 PM

My rejection letter from law school said something to the effect of "even though you obtained good results last year, we have a limited number of seats and unfortunately you did not get in".

Which was lovely, considering through a series of (largely my own) screw-ups I had a C average in law.

:/

dy156 · 03-24-2004, 08:19 AM

In college I applied for a paying internship in a Congressman's office, and they called me back for an interview. Then they called me back to reschedule the interview for Friday, a few days later.

I went to the interview, and left thinking that it had gone exceptionally well. I was excited about what I figured I'd be doing that summer. After I drove home that afternoon, I checked the mail, and guess what, a little rejection letter postmarked the day before. I was pissed, and later found out that the guy that got it was a political science major and the golden boy of that department, and he had been recommended by the prof. that set the internship up. Without that, or even knowing that prof., I was just wasting my time.

clavus · 03-24-2004, 10:31 AM

Got a rejection letter from Playboy (for cartoons I submitted, you perverts). It pissed me off because it was really just a photcopied note the size of a Post It.

They didn't like me enough to warrent sending an entire 8.5" X 11" piece of paper. Dang.

The_wall · 03-24-2004, 10:39 AM

I wish I could find it, there was a picture of a real application submitted by a teenager to work at mcdonalds. It was so funny, one of the few things on the internet that actually made me lol.

Edit: oh yeah the kid got a job too becase the manager or whatever loved the application so much.

flamingpeach · 03-24-2004, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The_wall
I wish I could find it, there was a picture of a real application submitted by a teenager to work at mcdonalds. It was so funny, one of the few things on the internet that actually made me lol.

Edit: oh yeah the kid got a job too becase the manager or whatever loved the application so much.

Quote:

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

kutulu · 03-24-2004, 04:25 PM

That's fucking great.

Sledge · 03-24-2004, 04:46 PM

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm

Sorry to ruin the fun. It's still funny though.

03-23-2004, 05:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	Best. Rejection. Letter. Ever. I know I posted this before (in one of my SFW Mephisto Links I think), but it's so funny I decided to show it again. Now, to make this a real thread, do YOU have any funny rejection stories? Work, personal, sex... it's all good. Mr Mephisto

03-23-2004, 05:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	When I was in college, one of the people in my dorm received a form rejection letter. However, the person entering the fields into the database messed up, so it appeared that everyone in the dorm was rejected in one fell swoop. "Dear Mr. Nameofdorm". __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

03-23-2004, 06:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
hannukah harry Junkie	actually, there's a great new rejection hotline. so if you're at the bar, you can give that number to someone and then when they call you a few days later, it's actually the rejection hotline, and the message is funny as hell. if you google rejection hotline, you should come up with the site (i don't want post it, that would be against rules?) __________________ shabbat shalom, mother fucker! - the hebrew hammer

03-23-2004, 09:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	lol, that's awesome I especially love the "Quite frankly, you scare us" __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

03-23-2004, 10:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
nanofever Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe. Location: UCSB	I have my rejection letter from UCLA....... but I didn't want to go there anyway. GO CAL still hoping for CAL admission __________________ I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect. Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum: "Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."

03-23-2004, 08:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
RoboBlaster Psycho Location: Ouuuterrrr Spaaaaacccceeee	hahaha, that's so awesome. Though all my rejection letters have been crippling sad.

03-23-2004, 08:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	I love the "skank ho" line.

03-23-2004, 10:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
Date the Banana Insane Location: Japan	Worst rejection: me: Wanno go out with me? not to be: meh When it's not even worth it to her to come up with a verbal reply... __________________ all work and no play make Date something something

03-23-2004, 10:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
Spartak Bang bang Location: New Zealand	My rejection letter from law school said something to the effect of "even though you obtained good results last year, we have a limited number of seats and unfortunately you did not get in". Which was lovely, considering through a series of (largely my own) screw-ups I had a C average in law. :/ __________________ I can read your mind... looking at you... I can read your mind...

03-24-2004, 08:19 AM	#10 (permalink)
dy156 cookie Location: in the backwoods	In college I applied for a paying internship in a Congressman's office, and they called me back for an interview. Then they called me back to reschedule the interview for Friday, a few days later. I went to the interview, and left thinking that it had gone exceptionally well. I was excited about what I figured I'd be doing that summer. After I drove home that afternoon, I checked the mail, and guess what, a little rejection letter postmarked the day before. I was pissed, and later found out that the guy that got it was a political science major and the golden boy of that department, and he had been recommended by the prof. that set the internship up. Without that, or even knowing that prof., I was just wasting my time.

03-24-2004, 10:31 AM	#11 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	Got a rejection letter from Playboy (for cartoons I submitted, you perverts). It pissed me off because it was really just a photcopied note the size of a Post It. They didn't like me enough to warrent sending an entire 8.5" X 11" piece of paper. Dang. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

03-24-2004, 10:39 AM	#12 (permalink)
The_wall Psycho Location: Rhode Island biatches!	I wish I could find it, there was a picture of a real application submitted by a teenager to work at mcdonalds. It was so funny, one of the few things on the internet that actually made me lol. Edit: oh yeah the kid got a job too becase the manager or whatever loved the application so much. __________________ "We do what we like and we like what we do!"~andrew Wk Procrastinate now, don't put off to the last minute.

03-24-2004, 04:25 PM	#14 (permalink)
kutulu Junkie	That's fucking great.

03-24-2004, 04:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
Sledge Pasture Bedtime	http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm Sorry to ruin the fun. It's still funny though.