Luki

Today my mom asked about the out of area cell phone call on the caller id. This call happened to come from an online friend of mine that's I've been talking to for about a year and a half or so.

He's only my friend, and I turn to him for things that bother me, and yet she's freaking out trying. Okay, I understand that she doesn't want me to move a thousand miles away again, and I never intend to do something like that again. But it's not like I've told them where I live (with the exception of state) they couldn't come find me if they tried. And she's trying to tell me that ALL the people I talk to online are perverts and that all they want are to be rapists.

I, personally, feel this is rediculous, and that she is making too big a deal out of this. It may be true for some of them, but I have found that most people online are not like that, and it is true that I have come across some pretty sick people online but most aren't like that.

And I am cautious when I talk to people online, I don't hand out personal information right off the bat. Most people I talk to online don't even know my real first name.

I just wanted to hear everyone else's opinion on talking to people online and giving out a number. If you have any personal experiences please share them.

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Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

NoLa

Someone close to me met their husband online. They talked on the internet, then eventually started writing letters and talking on the phone. Soon he came to visit then he moved out here (St.Louis) from Maryland, and they dated for four years before getting married last year.

Last fall I met somone in my area, from another message board. He was very normal and intelligent. We hit it off real well, but sadly he moved back to Wisconsin recently.

Not everyone on the internet is a psycho. You just have to be very cautious, and pick and choose who you meet carefully.

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Through the warmest cord of care
your love was sent to me
I'm not sure what to do with it
or where to put it

SecretMethod70

Exactly. Not to say your mom's concerns aren't unfounded, but, yeah, she's definitely a little overzealous in her application of attributes to internet users. For example, I'd be comfortable giving my phone number if it were useful or necessary to any of the mods here...because I have gotten to know them a fair bit in the time I've been at this site. Some stranger though, no way.

I trust that you probably considered the same things before giving this person your number. Remember though, it's not true that they couldn't find out where you lived based on your phone number. It's very easy to use a phone number to find the exact address it goes to.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

H12

I've only given my number to one girl who I got fairly close to over the internet. We knew we'd never be more than friends because she lived in Oregon and I live in Tennessee. Now we're not really that close, but we still talk some over the 'net.

Moral of the story: treat internet people like real people...don't give them any information until you're comfortable with them knowing it.

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
--Aristotle

shakran

What's your phone number? I bet I could find out where you live. Point is, if he has your phone number, he could probably find you. Don't think that just because you don't tell someone something, that they can't figure it out based on other stuff you've told them.

World's King

People online are weird. Why would you wanna talk to them?

*kicks himself*

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Yalaynia

Theres nothing wrong with talking to people on the phone that you met online. If you have no intentions of taking it any further then just a few phone conversations theres really nothing to worry about. As far as saying that its not like they can find you anyways from just a phone number, there are ways of getting addresses from phone numbers.
I myself met my now fiance online about 2 and a half years ago we used to play Everquest together. We then started talking in aim , then phone conversations to visiting back and forth.

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I couldnt think of anything to put here , but I guess anything would do

PredeconInferno

Speak for yourselves,

Personally, I'm a freakin' psycho :-P

"PSYCHO! GROUPIE! COCAINE! CRAZY!" (if you get this reference, you're my hero)

Anyway, I've met a lot of people online. Namely, a lot of people from TFP. And by met, I mean I've spoken to them via TFP, and most of you people seem normal... except for SecretMethod... he's a closet weirdo.

Anyway, to be serious, I have a rather long list of acquaintances from online, you really do need to be careful, I never really divulget personal info such as location.... It just doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do.

Anyway, good luck with your mother, tell her she needs to relax.

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Samurai in Training
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

Luki

allright, I know it's not entirely impossible to find out what town and such I live in, but I don't actually have an adress, the street I live on is not named and I have a post office box. But I'm not stupid I don't just hand out my number. My point was that she was freaking out a bit much, and this was to show her I'm not the only one in the world who talks to their online friends.

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Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

SecretMethod70

well in that sense I think you've made a pretty safe assumption

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Averett

I have a few good friends from the net. Since I've been chatting and visiting message boards such as this one, I've talked to 4 people on the phone. And I only talked to each of them a handful of times. Maybe I wasn't careful and wasn't wary enough when I gave out my number, but I took the chance.

I've also visited 2 people that I met online. The first, probably not the best decision. Nothing bad happened, but it just wasn't the best choice. The 2nd guy I visited nearly 2 years after we started talking. I trust him completely and we still are great friends to this day.

It's all an individually based thing. Yes, there are creeps online. And there are good genuine individuals. You just need to be smart and trust yourself.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Halx

I meet people from the internet all the time. I have yet to meet someone who was psycho. Sure, some were idiots and nutcases, but none of them were psychos.

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*Nikki*

I have a couple very good friends (see above) that I met on the internet.

I also met my boyfriend of a year on the net.

If you ask me it is an excellent way to meet people. You get to know them first on the inside. Personally I would never meet people (again) in bars or clubs.

The internet is the way to go.

Prince

Met my wife online, originally.

Just keep your wits about you, and you'll be fine. You're in greater danger of getting hit by a 747 on your home street than becoming the prey of an online psycho, as long as you keep your wits about you and only share personal information with those whom you trust.

I take it your mom doesn't get online much.

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Who is John Galt?

TopRamen66

System of a Down- Psyco
I am now someones hero.


Anyway, it kinda depends on how you met them through the internet. I've met countless people through message boards and the such of common interests that we have, e.g. car clubs. Its kinda weird, I ususally end up calling them by their screenames for at least the first few hours... But just random people IM'ing you, I'd be wary of them.

Luki

She doesn't know the first thing about the internet. She couldn't tell you if we had dial-up or DSL to be honest with you and she's the one who pays for it all...

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Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

Cynthetiq

just like all things...there's a bad apple that can ruin it for everyone.

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Bill O'Rights

Well...yeah. Plus, who are you gonna hear about...a few million pefectly normal people online, or a few hundred crazed whack-jobs? What's gonna sell more papers? Which is more fun to read about?

Excercise a little common sense, turn on that "woman's intuition", and you'll be fine. I wouldn't call your mother's fear unwarranted, but perhaps, in this case, unfounded maybe?

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

skier

The internet is just a network of real live people. I don't think that there is a much higher chance of meeting a crazy person or a rapist than you would in real life. Of course, if you go to a site like www.rapists.org or some such nonsense, you're asking for trouble- like going into a biker bar wearing a tutu.

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

Prince

Those of you [and I know you're out there] curious enough to click on that, don't bother...it's just a page full of links.

Just thought I'd save someone's time.

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Who is John Galt?

aarchaon

Hold up, why did you click on it?

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Green. Yellow. Blue.

diddagirl

You just have to be very careful . I met my b/f about 10 months ago online. I was really catious about giving him my phone number and personal info. When I finally did..I really trusted him and knew he was for real. My mom wasnt crazy about the idea when she found out. She thinks the same as your mom. But what they have to realize is there IS normal, cool people on the internet. Its not a place that JUST psycho's go. The way I tried to explain it to her is.. I am harmless and normal mom...and I am there. So there is obviously others like me.

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1337haxor

Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm sure most of us are normal and we are here on the internet chatting all the time. With the internet, it is easier to ignore people if you suspect something early on. I know more psychos in real life then on the internet. I've already have several friends that were stalked by people and real life, not people they meet online.

-Robert

MaGlC_MaN

i have several good online friends.. none of them psychos a lot of them have helped me through a lot of problems that i have had in the past. i've never really started a relationship or anything like that over the net with a girl, but i wouldn't turn that idea down.

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Bye.

flamingpeach

I live with someone i met through the internet. I could not imagine myself being happier, and I'm sure i'll spend the rest of my life with him.

As well as posting on the TFP, i have my own forum as well as posting at others that i have made many friends from. We have meets a few times a year in big cities (toronto, NYC etc) where we all get together and shoot the shit. I've made VERY good friends this way that i indend to keep. I've met people that are mirror images of myself online.

We're all here for moslty the same reasons, might aswell make friends

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I've eaten my veggies all my life so bring it on, I am educated and strong for the revolution.

analog

I met a girl i went on to have a 2-year friendship, a 3-and-a-half-year relationship with. If we get back together, I'm marrying her. Splitting up was my worst decision ever. I'm stupid. There are many fine people on the internet. Just think of how many of your personal friends use the internet, even if you never interact with them on it.

seretogis

I've met more psychos irl than on the internet. It seems that the internet is where the quiet sane people are.

<3 King

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seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames

Holo

All my friends are on the internet...I don't have a lot of money or large blocks of free time to hang with friends when they would be available. I like it better in many ways, as if you feel like getting away you can just be /away and nobody gets pissed at you for not calling back, walking away etc. It would be nice to have a RL friend to share shit with but it just hasn't materialized in the last couple years.

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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

spived2

Why don't you just have your mom become a member of the board. That way she can see not everyone on the net is nutzoid.

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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V

Luki

My mom doesn't trust the internet, and is rarely at the computer. When she does get on the computer it is usually to play a game to waste time waiting on something. And this is a rare occasion. She prefers to be watching TV and the such then to interact with people she can't see.

I want to thank everyone for posting their comments, suggestions and personal expiriences I intend to show my mother that I am not alone on this matter and maybe she'll calm down. Thank you all so much.

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Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

Holo

So she's one of those.

The internet is about as dangerous as you allow it to be. You leave your car door unlocked and get your CDs stolen you remember to lock it/ get an alarm next time. Same as the net. You get a virus you learn to not open shit you don't trust or get AV. Dangers on the internet are all PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keboard And Chair) related. If you don't give out too much info and watch what you do and where you go it's more safe than being conscientious on a city street.



Isn't that what TV is all about? You can't interact with a TV at all. Does she hate the phone too? If not why not? I just think she is still in the age mentally where computers were blamed for everything and were too diffuclt for the rank and file to use so they had a "malicious mystique" to them. That doesn't make her a "bad " person tho.

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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

Luki

She does use the phone but only when it would seem necessary, like to call her friends to make plans or family members, or emergencies... otherwise she's rarely on the phone. She actually spends most of her time in her bathroom(I kid you not) putting on make-up and working on her "look' *coughcoughlackof lookcoughcough*

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Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

ladyadmin

People on the internet are real people with fears/feelings/personalities. I treat my internet friends the same as my regular friends.

I do not divulge my personal information often and I see no need for it unless I trust you or have plans to meet you and because it's no ones business but my own. There isn't a golden rule online that states I have to say anything. None of us do.

I used to get defensive when I went online the first time when I'd hear the typical statement, "There's nothing but psychos online, you be careful!" Excuse me I'm not a psycho and my friends/colleagues aren't either.

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iamnormal

Did your mom just call you a pervert?
Your one of ALL the people online.

Luki

yeah I think she did..... oh well, she also just made me very angry...

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Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

jwells777

System of a Down, no? You gotta love the internet...if it comes in 1's and 0's, it's there.

VF19

I met a 'girl' last year. We had good talks about female masturbation.. until a month ago when I found out she was a bored guy at work.

tritium

I've given my phone number to a few folks online, but only individuals I know fairly well. But, I'm also a 275lbs, 6'2" male that is almost always packin'. I've got a 30cal rifle in my truck, and a 9mm with a concealed carry permit.

I doubt anyone would mess with me, and if they did, they'd probably see a reason to back off rather quickly.

All told, I've never met a complete psycho online. Like Halx said, there are nutcases and wierdos, but I've never come across anyone harmful.

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Blah.

punx1325

I have met many great and not so great people via the internet. I met a girl who I have turned to in the hardest times and we have become great friends. So great we even met. It was nothing sexual at all, we just have a great friendship. Basically, you just have to be careful. I am thankful I have the internet to have these special interactions. It is amazing the people you can meet.

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If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is....

skysooner

I have met plenty of people through the Internet. They generally are how they represent. I'm not saying than any of them are my close friends as that only comes through long-standing trust, but it isn't any different than going into a bar and meeting people you have never met before. There are good and bad people just like anywhere.