Curiously Entertaining Journalism Thread

[ARTelevision]

I thought I'd start this thread for things that aren't quite "news of the weird" because they're a bit more pedestrian than that - yet still entertaining. I come across a lot of interesting stories that are written well and have some curious entertainment value - I'm sure you do too...

..................................................
Taiwan: from etaiwannews.com

Sperm whale explodes in Tainan City

Blood and guts of 17-meter long 50-ton mammal splatter sidewalks, automobiles parked nearby

2004-01-27 / Taiwan News, Contributing Writer / By Jason Pan

A dead sperm whale being transported through Tainan City on its way to a research station suddenly exploded yesterday, splattering cars and shops with blood and guts.

Certified by authorities as the largest beached whale on record in Taiwan, the 17-meter 50-ton carcass was being transported by a flat-bed trailer-truck to a special research location after National Cheng Kung University officials and security guards refused to allow the whale on campus.

The whale was to be preserved and an autopsy performed at the "Shi-Tsao Natural Preserve" in Tainan County by a team of marine biologists and taxidermists.

National Cheng Kung University marine biologist, professor Wang Chien-ping, was on the scene and said he had he instructed the truck driver to move the carcass so the whale could be used for educational purposes and an autopsy could be done.

The beached whale was found on along a stretch of coast in Yunlin County on Saturday.

"The animal was close to death when someone found it beached on shore on Saturday... Because of the natural decomposing process, a lot of gases accumulated, and when the pressure buildup was too great, the whale's belly just exploded and spilled blood and the innards on the street," Wang said.

Despite the explosion, enough of the whale remained intact that it will still be transported to the 'Shi-Tsao Natural Preserve' for a scientific examination, Wang added.

Local news reports showed a number of people who had gathered to take photographs of the whale before it exploded in Tainan City, as well as residents and shop owners following the explosion. Many were wearing gauze-masks and trying to clean up the spilled blood and the entrails with brushes and brooms.

"What a stinking mess! This blood and other stuff that blew out on the road is disgusting, and the smell is really awful," said one resident.

The news also showed one section of the street along with several parked automobiles and pedestrian walkways covered in red with copious amounts of splattered whale blood.

Lying on the trailer-truck was the dead whale - underbelly exposed with a large elongated tear where the biological gaseous blowout took place. Besides the shocking red bloody mess, large piles of whale intestines and guts were strewn along the road, leaving an unpleasant and ghastly scene for startled residents.

According to Wang, an initial assessment suggested the animal looked like an older bull whale. He said the carcass weighed over 50 metric tons and measured 17 meters, making it the largest whale ever recorded in Taiwan. He told the press that previous record was an 11-meter sperm whale which was found beached along a Tainan County coast 8 years ago.

Local media reported the sperm whale was still alive when it was found lying on the seashore in Yunlin County by a fisherman on Saturday morning. The man informed the coast guard and the police for help. When the authorities and conservation groups arrived to attempt a rescue during the afternoon, they found the animal had died.

After the news had spread about the giant beached whale, a mini-circus festival atmosphere prevailed on the site. Throughout the day on Sunday, a large crowd of more than 600 local Yunlin residents and curiosity seekers, along with vendors selling snack food and hot drinks, braved the cold temperature and chilly wind to watch workmen try to haul away the dead marine leviathan.

According to local news reports, the animal's record size proved a tough challenge for the work crews, and it took more than 13 hours, 3 large lifting cranes, and 50 workers to get the beached sperm whale loaded onto the flat-bed trailer-truck to be taken on its final trek.

...................

I think it's the droll descriptive treatment of this story combined with the extreme nature of the event that grabbed me . Anyway, that's my contrib. What else ya got? And why does it appeal to you, journalistically speaking...?

[cchris]

Indeed a very poor way to present the story.

Brings back memories of the infamous Exploding Whale
Video a few years back.

LINK
http://perp.com/whale/video.html

[ARTelevision]

thanks for the link, cchris - cool vid.

thing is though, I think the way the above story is written actually is what appeals to me - perversely perhaps, but that may be my point...I definitely prefer it to a sensationalized treatment...

[orphen]

I remember when there was a dead whale on the beach (in hawaii, i used to live there) it stank up the whole place.. it was disgusting

[absence_of_color]

Kinda makes you wonder how a mammal that big got beached?

Strange.

Anyway, it looked like a typical written news story to me.

After the news had spread about the giant beached whale, a mini-circus festival atmosphere prevailed on the site. Throughout the day on Sunday, a large crowd of more than 600 local Yunlin residents and curiosity seekers, along with vendors selling snack food and hot drinks, braved the cold temperature and chilly wind to watch workmen try to haul away the dead marine leviathan.

That part was out there a little.

[ARTelevision]

yes, I noted that paragraph as well.

I'll look for another example of this sort of thing in today's news...

[wilbjammin]

Originally posted by cchris
Indeed a very poor way to present the story.

Brings back memories of the infamous Exploding Whale
Video a few years back.

LINK
http://perp.com/whale/video.html

Oh yes, us Oregonians can't forget the infamous exploding whale. What were they thinking!? The blubber projectiles did some serious damage! What did they think it was going to do? Cave in on itself peacefully?

Ah, the glory of studying exploding whale phenomenology.

[skier]

Edit: On furthur reflection, I have determined my post was crude and did not contribute to the thread.

[ARTelevision]

Here today's story that's hittin' the perversely interesting zone with me:

.............................
Inmate Claims Murders During His Execution
By MICHAEL GRACZYK
ASSOCIATED PRESS

HUNTSVILLE, Texas (AP) -

Time finally ran out for condemned killer Billy Frank Vickers, but as he went to his death he left behind an unexpected disclosure he may have been involved in more than a dozen murder cases, including the Cullen Davis case.

"I would like to clear some things up if I could," Vickers, 58, said strapped to the Texas death chamber gurney Wednesday night in the moments before he received lethal injection for the slaying of a grocery store owner in Lamar County in March 1993.

He acknowledged that fatal shooting during a botched robbery, reversing his previous denials, adding: "There was several more that I had done or had a part of. I am sorry and I am not sure how many - there must be a dozen or 14 I believe all total.

"One I would like to clear up is Cullen Davis, where he was charged with shooting his wife. He didn't do that. And all of these it was never nothing personal. It was just something I did to make a living."

He didn't elaborate.

In 1976, millionaire oilman Davis was accused of killing his estranged wife's boyfriend, Stan Farr, and 12-year-old daughter, Andrea Wilborn, at his Fort Worth mansion. The wife, Priscilla Davis, and a family friend were wounded.

Cullen Davis was acquitted of his stepdaughter's murder and was later acquitted of murder-for-hire charges in a separate case.

Jack Strickland, a former prosecutor who worked on the Davis case, said Wednesday night that he had never heard of Vickers and doubted that he was involved in the 1976 shooting.

"For some perverse reason known only to him (Vickers), he once again screwed with the system. I certainly don't put any stock in it, not the slightest bit," Strickland said.

At the time, Davis was worth an estimated $400 million and believed to be the richest man to stand trial on murder charges.

Vickers wrapped up his final comments by repeating he was sorry and that, "I love you all. That is all I have to say."

Six minutes later, after exhaling and gasping as the lethal drugs took effect, he was pronounced dead. He was the fourth Texas prisoner put to death already this year. Another four are set to die next month.

The execution began less than 30 minutes after the U.S. Supreme Court denied an appeal to halt his punishment for gunning down the grocer, Phillip Kinslow, 50, near Kinslow's home outside Arthur City on March 12, 1993.

.............

The sentences that are gonna stick with me are these:

"And all of these it was never nothing personal. It was just something I did to make a living."

[Bill O'Rights]

I see what you mean. It's like a train wreck...no matter how disturbing it is, you just...can't...turn...away from it.

[Cynthetiq]

been so long since I've heard about the exploding whale... thanks!

[ARTelevision]

Bill O'Rights, yes. The odd juxtaposition and concatenation of meanings in the killer's last words - it wasn't personal and he only killed people to make a living. I don't know, there's something strangely unforgettable in there...

[ARTelevision]

Today's story:

Teen Called 'Weakling' Saves Man In Pond
Victim: 'I Owe My Life To That Young Man'

UPDATED: 1:53 PM EST January 30, 2004

CLEARWATER, Fla. -- A high school freshman who walked out of a weightlifting session after being called a weakling became a hero minutes later when he saved an elderly man who had driven into a pond.


Justin Gregorich, 14, was one of three people who jumped into the water Wednesday to pull Raymond J. Kane from his sinking Lincoln Town Car.

"It's amazing -- there are snakes and there are alligators ... all three of them just jumped in right after that guy," said paramedic Mike Eash.

Gregorich had hopes of joining Countryside High School's junior-varsity football team next season, and after school Wednesday he went to the team's conditioning practice.

But at 5-foot-3 inches tall and 130 pounds, he couldn't lift as much weight as the other boys, who teased him. Gregorich said he left early and began walking home.

"I'm thinking, man, I should have stayed at football, the coach is going to be mad at me, why did I leave?" he recalled. "And -- WHAM!"

At that moment, the Lincoln veered off the road in front of him and sped toward the pond. Gregorich dove in, along with passers-by Michael McBrayer and Shawn Brady.

One man opened the car door as Gregorich and the other man grabbed Kane by the arms, authorities said. They swam about 50 feet back to the bank.

Kane was in good condition Thursday, issuing a statement through a hospital spokesman thanking his rescuers.

"I owe my life to that young man," Kane said. He also wished him luck in making the football team.

....................................................

On the one hand, there's the absolutely significant act of saving someone's life and on the other hand, there's the absolutely insignificant things, such as making a high school football team and what one's "peers" think of one. Some of these things may strike you as significant in themselves and I suppose they are to the young man in question. I guess I'm taking the long view on that.

[ARTelevision]

Here's one that mimi brought to my attention.
It's an inspirational feline tale...

.......

Duluth, Minnesota-AP -- A cat found out in the Minnesota cold has earned the name "Frosty."

A man found the four-year-old gray-and-white tomcat frozen to the ground in Duluth on January sixth. It had been about 20 below that night.

One eye was frozen shut, and he had open wounds on his head and neck.

Kelly Johnson works at the city animal shelter. She says she didn't think the cat would live. But she gave the dehydrated cat fluids intravenously, and wrapped him in warm towels straight out of the dryer. She repeated the process every two hours, and came in during the evenings to check on him.

The cat didn't move for three days. But now he's O-K.

Frostbite left wounds on his ears and burned away patches of fur.

But animal workers say the cat seems to be grateful for all the attention, and they expect to find a permanent home for him soon.

........

Stories of survival against odds are always uplifting. And there are some details in this one that are, indeed, "curiously entertaining."

[ARTelevision]

Hard to say exactly why I find this noteworthy. Except it is good to know it was "God's will."

......................................

Stampede Kills 244 at Hajj Pilgrimage

Feb 1, 5:21 PM (ET)

By RAWYA RAGEH

(AP) Muslim pilgrims perform a symbolic stoning of the devil as they throw pebbles at a pillar...


MINA, Saudi Arabia (AP) - At least 244 people were trampled to death and hundreds more hurt Sunday under the crush of worshippers in one of the deadliest disasters during the annual Muslim pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia.

The stampede occurred during the stoning of the devil, an emotional and notoriously perilous hajj ritual. Pilgrims frantically throw rocks, shout insults or hurl their shoes at three stone pillars - acts that are supposed to demonstrate their deep disdain for Satan.

Safety measures were in place at the site - one where fatal stampedes have been frequent - but "caution isn't stronger than fate," said Saudi Hajj Minister Iyad Madani. "All precautions were taken to prevent such an incident, but this is God's will."

The stampede broke out on one of two ramps leading to the 50-foot stone pillars. Tens of thousands of people were on the uppermost ramp, which is about the width of a five-lane highway.


Authorities said a few pilgrims fell, causing panic as pressure built up in the crowd behind.

Brig. Mansour al-Turki of the Saudi General Security Forces said about 10,000 general security officers were on duty in the area at the time.

Their intervention "resulted in containing the pushing toward the pillar to prevent more pilgrims from falling," an unidentified Saudi Interior Ministry official said, the state-run Saudi Press Agency reported.

The same area was the scene of similar deadly incidents in 1998, 2001 and last year.

Sunday's tragedy marked the worst disaster at the annual hajj since 1997, when 340 pilgrims died in a fire at their tent city in Mina, near the holy city of Mecca.

Most of the dead Sunday were pilgrims from inside the Saudi kingdom who may not have been authorized to participate, Madani said. It was unclear how many foreign pilgrims died, but Egypt's Middle East News Agency reported that 13 Egyptians were among the dead.

Madani also said 272 pilgrims had died of natural causes during the hajj. Many participants are elderly, and Muslims believe that if a person dies while performing the pilgrimage they will go directly to heaven.

About 2 million Muslims are participating in this year's pilgrimage. To control the crowd, Saudi authorities set quotas for pilgrims from each country, and also require its citizens and residents to register upon arrival.

Many resident foreigners, especially those from the Indian subcontinent, cannot afford to pay the cost of an authorized pilgrimage, around $530, and perform the pilgrimage independently, despite recent laws requiring citizens and residents to join registered pilgrimage campaigns.

The chaos came after a sleepless night of prayer at the climax of the hajj, when pilgrims from around the world listened to Saudi Arabia's top cleric at the Namira Mosque.

On Sunday morning, they prayed at dawn then gathered pebbles to throw at the pillars. Each participant throws seven times, chanting "bismillah" ("in the name of God") and "Allahu Akbar" ("God is Great").

Calling America "the greatest Satan," Egyptian pilgrim Youssef Omar threw pebbles at one pillar on which someone had scrawled "USA."

After the 1998 hajj, when about 180 pilgrims were trampled to death, religious authorities issued an edict extending the amount of time in which pilgrims could complete the ritual, hoping to spread out the crowd.

A giant ramp leading to the pillars fills with pilgrims waiting to throw their pebbles, and Saudi authorities instruct pilgrims in several languages when and where to pass.

Still, 14 pilgrims were trampled to death during the same ritual last year and 35 died in a 2001 stampede.

The stoning ritual also marked the first day of Eid al-Adha, or the Feast of the Sacrifice, celebrated at the hajj and around the Muslim world with the slaughtering of a camel, cow or sheep. Meat is eaten and distributed to the poor.

[ARTelevision]

Two stories in which the protagonists miss the point - don't get the clue - from today:

Blake Sings as LA Judge Bans TV Cameras from Trial
Mon February 2, 2004 04:27 PM ET

(Page 1 of 2)
By Howard Breuer
VAN NUYS, Calif. (Reuters) - The judge in actor Robert Blake's murder trial on Monday banned television cameras from her courtroom during witness testimony in a proceeding nearly overshadowed by the antics of the onetime child star.

Blake, best known as a tough-as-nails cop on the hit series "Baretta," emerged from the courthouse eating a hot dog, then borrowed a guitar from a street musician and performed a quick rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" for reporters.

The strange scene suggested that Blake, who normally shies away from reporters, was not to be outdone by singer Michael Jackson -- who ended a Santa Barbara court appearance on child molestation charges last month by climbing on his car and shuffling through a few dance steps.

..........................................................

Dean Calls FCC Probe of Breast Incident 'Silly'
Mon February 02, 2004 07:36 PM ET

PHOENIX (Reuters) - Sometimes a breast is just a breast.
Howard Dean, a physician and a Democratic presidential candidate, on Monday dismissed as "silly" a government inquiry into whether indecency rules were broken during the broadcast of the Super Bowl halftime show when pop diva Janet Jackson's bodice was ripped to expose her right breast.

"I find that to be a bit of a flap about nothing," the former Vermont governor said. "I'm probably affected in some ways by the fact that I'm a doctor, so it's not exactly an unusual phenomenon for me."
....................
Ah, OK, I get it - since he is a doctor, he's seen a human breast before - professionally, I guess. Well OK - so like if our kids had medical degrees they wouldn't be morally compromised by a multi-million dollar stage act of a rich white kid assaulting an older black woman for fun and profit...

[clifclav]

All very interesting ART.

Going back to the one about the high schooler pulling the man from the car:

That is the kind of juxtaposition that can really bring life into focus. The young man is distressed over something we see as trivial - making a football team - that is probably the most important thing in the world to him. In the midst of these thought he sees someone in need of help and immediately helps.

What I wonder is, when he laid his head down on his pillow that night was he thinking more of saving a life or possibly getting cut from a football team.

[ARTelevision]

local6.com
Kansas Woman Posed As 13-Year-Old Boy
33-Year-Old Allegedly Tried To Enroll In Middle School

UPDATED: 6:28 PM EST February 3, 2004

GALENA, Kan. Associated Press -- Authorities in Galena are investigating a case in which a 33-year-old woman posing as a 13-year-old boy sought help from a church and tried to enroll in a middle school.

Jim Jones, pastor of the Galena Assembly of God, said the person he now knows to be a woman showed up at his church in October, claiming to be Chris Gomez, a 13-year-old boy who had been the victim of child abuse.

Jones said that after a series of inconsistencies, he confronted the person claiming to be a boy last week and that she told him she was actually a 33-year-old woman with three children.

The case was referred to JoAnna Derfelt, the Cherokee County prosecutor, who asked the sheriff's department to investigate. She said Monday that until the investigation is complete she would not comment on it or identify the person being investigated.

Jones said he knew the woman as Birdie Jo Hoaks. A woman of that name attracted attention in Salt Lake City in 1995 when she called Utah social services officials and told them she had been left at a bus stop by her stepmother and father. The woman provided a birth certificate for Michael Ross, who would celebrate his 13th birthday several days later, on Christmas. The story triggered an outpouring of sympathy, and two trust accounts were set up.

But after the story was revealed as a hoax, the money was refunded. Reports of similar hoaxes by a Birdie Jo Hoaks came in from a number of other states, including Montana, Vermont, Alaska, California, Kansas, Texas, Idaho, New York, New Jersey, Maine, South Dakota, West Virginia, Arizona and Wisconsin.

In the Salt Lake City case, Hoaks was sentenced to 18 months in jail for theft of services and making a false statement, both misdemeanors. She was also ordered to make restitution of $580.

A judge later ordered her release to a woman's shelter after a psychiatric evaluation concluded she was not a danger to herself or others.

Jones said the woman he knows as Hoaks was at his church on Sunday and that he speaks to her almost daily. He said she is about 5 feet tall and 140 pounds and was very convincing in portraying a teenage boy who claimed to have been sleeping in a bus belonging to his church.

Jones said he had often invited her to his home after services for lunch with his family, and that he purchased clothing and food for her. He said an optometrist belong to the church gave her an eye exam and free glasses, and another church member cut her hair for free.

Jones said the woman told him she had been home-schooled and never attended public school, so at his urging and with his help she tried to enroll in the Galena School District early last month.

"I know she met with a special education teacher to be evaluated," he said. "But I don't think she ever was allowed in with the general school population."

School Superintendent Ray Dykens said the woman had no identification but had a Social Security number. He said that when the number checked out, the district agreed to allow her to meet with a special-education teacher for testing.

He said the woman, posing as a boy, met with the teacher for about three hours a day for four days.

Dykens said the woman, who never was allowed to attend classes with other students, stopped showing up at the school.

"We weren't about to put him in with the school population until we knew who he, or she, was," he said.

Jones said many things that Hoaks told him were suspect. For instance, he said she kept changing her story about her living arrangements. He said that after she told him she was actually a woman, he informed the school district, and Galena police were also notified.

Jones said the woman is living in an apartment with her toddler son, her twin sister, her mother and stepfather.

"I have been in the home, and I can tell you her son is healthy and well-cared for," he said.

He said he had difficulty understanding her motive. He said she apparently had access to money and on Sunday paid him back money he had given her to purchase clothing. He also said she apparently had a place to stay the entire time she was posing as a 13-year-old boy.
.............................

So this lady named "Hoaks" pulls off another hoax.
That's enough to make it curiously entertaining already.
This most current stunt by Birdie Jo is her most bird-brained to date, I'd say...

[PorscheBunny]

Originally posted by ARTelevision
…

But animal workers say the cat seems to be grateful for all the attention, and they expect to find a permanent home for him soon.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to call BULLSHIT on this one. There is no such thing as a grateful cat.

[clifclav]

My immediate reaction to that is who in the hell would go to a church whose Pastor was named Jim Jones.....Time for the Kool-Aid everyone.

[ARTelevision]

Dark Whisperings Shake Dog Show Circuit
Wed February 4, 2004 10:25 AM ET

By Pete Harrison
LONDON (Reuters) - Something sinister is troubling Britain's usually genteel world of dog-showing, and at the center of it all lies one question: Who called Mrs Joyce Mann a "puppy farmer?"

Hate mail is circulating, threats have been made over the phone, Mann -- the country's top show judge -- has resigned and The Kennel Club says it has never seen anything like it.

"It is quite a nasty business," said a club spokeswoman. "Someone has set out to blacken Joyce's name at the pinnacle of her career."

And all this with the premier date on the dog show calendar fast approaching: Crufts, the world's largest dog show and the quintessence of British canine culture starts on March 4.

Joyce Mann, this year's Crufts Best of Show judge and wife of its chairman Peter, had been targeted by a fax campaign to highlight her mass breeding of Yorkshire Terriers in the 1960s -- puppy farming -- a practice common at the time, but now considered unethical.

"This has all the ingredients of a Miss Marple mystery," said Beverley Cuddy of "Dogs Today" magazine. "Dog showing is still very much a gentle middle-class pursuit, but it does have this other side.

"When people get obsessed, only winning counts, and the dog becomes irrelevant," she added.
....................................................

I always find it fascinating how humans who profess to love something - often become "obsessed" with some tangential aspect of the object of their affection and end up having the reason they entered into the relationship in the first place become "irrelevant."

[Stiltzkin]

Excellent collection of stories! Somehow, this thread has made my day, and my day has only just begun! (it is 1:00 AM right now)

[MSD]

Here's one for you:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...cow_hairpieces
3 Accused of Putting Hairpieces on Cows
Thu Feb 5, 8:07 AM ET

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Three livestock exhibitors at last year's Ohio State Fair have been disqualified for allegedly outfitting their Holstein cows with hairpieces.



State Fair inspectors said the three glued or painted hair from another part of the animal or from another animal to create straighter backs on the cows and enhance their appearance in the show ring.

Kreg Krebs and his brother Kenneth of Fredericksburg, and Scott Long of Clayton, Mich., could be required to forfeit all winnings, said Department of Agriculture spokeswoman Melanie Wilt. The winnings had been withheld by fair officials.

Wilt said state inspectors at the fair discovered the fake hair when the cows were leaving the show ring on Aug. 10.

The men have 30 days to request a hearing in which they could present their cases to an independent hearing officer.

[ARTelevision]

Cool story!
Yeah we're into farm show esthetics.
I can understand that one...

...shoulda done a slicker job, IMO!

[ARTelevision]

This one is from the Daily Telegraph and is being reported by US news agencies. That's enough to make it newsworthy in itself. You folks who like to run everything by snopes - have at it!
....................

Man lived with body for 18 months
By Richard Savill
UK Daily Telegraph
(Filed: 05/02/2004)


A pensioner told police he did not know his brother had been dead for 18 months in the mobile home they shared. Herbert Silver, 72, had called police to say his brother George had died suddenly. They expected to find a body, but found a skeleton.



The body of George Silver, 75, was found in his bedroom in the hamlet of Blissford, near Fordingbridge, Hants. Police said there no suspicious circumstances.

The brothers, both bachelors, moved to Blissford from Kent about 12 years ago. George Silver worked for the former London Electricity Board and his brother was employed in the roads and bridges department of Kent county council.

Mr Silver said yesterday: "I thought that there may have been something wrong when he didn't appear. But I admit that I didn't go into his room for a few hours, a few days... well quite a while actually, which was a bit naughty really. In the end I plucked up the courage to go and have a look.

"A doctor came out and assessed me and I asked him if I was bonkers but he said I wasn't." An inquest will be held later this month.

..............................

Guess at least it's good to know he's not bonkers!

[ARTelevision]

An interesting insight into a behind-the-scenes detail that made it all possible...

.....................
Fetish shop angry with Janet Jackson

The fetish shop that sold Janet Jackson her Super Bowl outfit are furious over her boob flashing stunt.

DeMask, of Manhattan, New York, say it made it look as if her £140 bustier was flimsy, reports the New York Post.

Justin Timberlake tore off part of the bustier, exposing her breast, after singing the words: "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song."

The stunt, during a half-time duet, has caused a storm in the US but DeMask are more concerned with their reputation.

Manager Sam Hill said: "There's no way it would have ripped that way. We're known for putting together solid, long-lasting pieces."

She wants Jackson to own up to altering the top for the stunt which was originally billed as an accident.

"They took off the studs that kept the cup in place and replaced them with snaps so the top could just come off," she said.

"It would have looked like Justin was assaulting her if he'd tried to rip it off before it was modified. It's really easy to modify rubber. It's not rocket science."

................................................

I'm thinking this sews up the wardrobe malfunction issue.
If you blame the wardrobe then you are gonna piss off the folks who made the wardrobe. I'm off to search for a picture of the smoking snaps...

[water_boy1999]

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
independent hearing officer.

Could have swore it read "independent hairing officer" when I first read it.....

[ARTelevision]

Texan finds black gold...in the loo

DALLAS - The old joke is that everyone who lives in Texas has an oil well in their backyard.

Ms Liela LeTourneau found one in her toilet.


No, it did not start to gush after a flush.

She found crude oil bubbling up from her toilet, bathtub, kitchen sink and everything else connected to the water drainage lines in her home when she returned from work on Monday.

The floor was also drenched with a thick coating of what is known in the state as 'Texas Tea'.

'There was this black (ooze) coming out from my house. I thought, 'What have I left on? What has my son left on that's spilled over?' ' said the nurse in an interview with local daily Longview News-Journal.

Ms LeTourneau and her son have moved out of the house for the time being.

Meanwhile, officials in Texas and Longview, the city where Ms LeTourneau lives, said on Thursday they believe that a mix-up in sewer lines might be the cause of the oil spill.

The residence might have been connected to a line used to dispose of saltwater instead of a sewage line.

Saltwater disposal lines are used in the oil production process to drain off liquids from that process - mostly saltwater.

The line became backed up, and oil seeped out, turning Ms LeTourneau's home into an oil patch.

'I was always proud to have an oil derrick in my backyard. Every Texan should have one,' she told the paper. 'Now, I don't know.' -- Reuters, AP
....................

I'm thinking this house could just slide on down the hill if they're not careful.

For some reason, I free-associated to the idea of metal detectors...
We just bought a 153 year-old home with a lot of history. It operated a still during Prohibition, for example. I think I'll pick up a metal detector and see what kind of wealth our place might be sitting on - just waiting to be discovered!

[ARTelevision]

Jackson Father Opens New Calif. Restaurant
Associated Press

WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. - Michael and Janet Jackson's father had a gala opening for his new restaurant Wednesday night, but the two pop stars were absent.

The restaurant, which showcases Southern cooking such as collard greens and catfish, was started by Joseph Jackson and named Katherine's after the Jackson family matriarch.

Jermaine Jackson spoke about his sister's infamous Super Bowl halftime show at the opening, saying it looked like the clothing removal was an accident.

"I didn't understand what was going on until later," he said. "It wasn't done intentionally. It looked like an accident. I'm going to believe that."

He said he the story has been in the news so much because "the media have nothing else to talk about."

Joseph Jackson declined to talk about his daughter Janet.

"The family's fine. We're going to eat some of this food," he said.

He said his wife Katherine would not attend because she was "relaxing."

"She's in Las Vegas and she wishes us all have a good time," he said.

.....................................

I always go for "life goes on" stories. And I love the line: "The family's fine. We're going to eat some of this food."

Like I said, curiously entertaining...

[hu-man]

Great stories, thanks for sharing them with us... I laughed a couple of times!
Cow wigs... tee hee...

[ARTelevision]

As you know I have some serious views on the subject of the humorous commentary below. I do see the humor in it as well. Art Buchwald writes funny stuff and this thread is where I put stuff that strikes me for whatever reason as "curiously entertaining."

(I usually hate it when people like waiters and others say, "Enjoy!" But I do hope you enjoy the story for what it is...)
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washingtonpost.com
A Case of Naked Aggression


By Art Buchwald

Thursday, February 12, 2004; Page C02


There seems to be no end to the Janet Jackson "scandal" that occurred during the Super Bowl halftime show. The investigation goes on and on.

A spokesman for CBS, who refused to take my calls, said, "Our intelligence was not at fault. We didn't know that Ms. Jackson would bare her breast during her number until it showed up on the satellite photos, which our analysts studied after the game."

"What did it look like from 400 miles up?" I asked.

"It initially looked like a trailer truck that could be holding weapons of mass destruction. It was only when we magnified it that we decided it could be the upper part of Janet Jackson's body."

"Did anyone influence you in your report?"

"No, we reported the facts as we saw them. Our agents on the field said something was going on, but they weren't sure what it was. It was only after Janet started to dance that we went to orange alert. But it was too late. The cat was out of the bag."

"Do you think Justin Timberlake, who actually pulled Janet's costume off, was part of the conspiracy?"

"We're looking into that. He claimed it was a 'wardrobe malfunction,' which could be the first one in Super Bowl history. We have sent the costume to the FBI lab for testing."

"What was MTV's role in all this?"

"They're playing the blame game. They say they were so busy putting on the show they didn't know anything was amiss."

"But," I said. "MTV says CBS was so interested in the commercials they paid no attention to what else was going on. What did FCC Chairman Michael Powell say?"

"He said he was disgusted, outraged, shaken, traumatized, shocked, stunned, scandalized, and the incident turned his stomach."

"Wow," I said.

"He wants a full investigation with all the evidence presented to the FCC board."

"Does this mean you are going to call viewers who witnessed the event?"

"Yes," he said. "We don't ever want to see a woman's breast on television again, except on cable."

"At least CBS is playing damage control," I said.

He said, "We believe the incident will be forgotten by the 2012 Super Bowl."

"Where does the NFL stand in all this?"

"The Panthers and the Patriots were in the locker room during halftime and had no idea what was happening on the field. Had they known, they might not have played as well as they did."

I asked, "What is the most terrible thing about the Janet Jackson flash of flesh?"

"Our young fighting men in Iraq saw it. After they did, morale plummeted. As one sergeant said, 'This is not what we are fighting for.' "'

After the CBS spokesman hung up, I thought, "What will American culture be like after the Super Bowl? What will our allies think of us?"

And the last thing that came to mind was, "Where were you, Mary Poppins, when we needed you?"

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[ARTelevision]

Here's a story that doesn't seem to have any story attached.
It seems to be a funny take-off piece but it doesn't report any facts. It was picked up as a news flash by the Financial Times too, but - still no news behind the story. Guess it's just a joke-fest...or something?
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Barbie and Ken: It's Over

Thursday, February 12, 2004

By Catherine Donaldson-Evans

Fox News

NEW YORK — One of America's most famous couples is calling it quits. Are you sitting down?

After 43 years together, Barbie and Ken (search) — as in the dolls — have decided that breaking up is hard to do, but do it they must.

Since they're dolls — and famous — Barbie and Ken had no direct comment about their split at the International Toy Fair (search), where the bombshell was dropped. The news predictably came from their spokespeople during a press conference Thursday.

"This is an announcement we thought we’d never make," said Barbie’s publicist, Ken Sunshine (search). "I will confirm that Ken and Barbie are going to go their separate ways."

Click here for a video of the couple in happier times.

The circumstances surrounding the famous couple's break were hazy, though their spokespeople assured the press they split up on good terms.

"The flame of love has gone out," said Ken's publicist, A. Russell Arons — who doubles as Mattel Inc.'s (search) vice president of marketing for Barbie. "The tolls of Hollywood romance are well known."

Arons and Sunshine described it as a "sad" and "reflective" day.

Devastated Barbie-and-Ken-friendly homes across the country were suddenly faced with the task of explaining the breakup to their children — and finding separate toy boxes for the pair. Sunshine said he'd been barraged with e-mails from fans.

Arons suggested moms and dads handle it "much like a parent may someday have to explain a divorce" and assure their little girls that Barbie and Ken would always care for each other and be friends.

Cynics called the split a desperate publicity stunt by the couple's company, Mattel Inc., which has seen Barbie's popularity and revenues in the U.S. drop recently despite her numerous image makeovers and new products.

But Arons brushed aside the implication that Mattel might toss Barbie out on her ear.

"Mattel would never dump Barbie," she said.

Barbie was holed up in her Dream House with friends and family, according to Sunshine, who also represents human Hollywood stars Ben Affleck, Justin Timberlake and Leonardo DiCaprio. It wasn't clear where Ken was staying.

A statement the handsome man-doll had prepared was read at the press conference.

"Barbie and I decided to spend some time apart," the statement read. "She's got a new look ... I'm confident we will always stay friends."

When asked about the catalyst for the split, Arons simply said it was the "toll of the fourth movie" they starred in together — a musical due out in the fall called "Barbie as The Prince and the Pauper" — and the pressure of being in the limelight.

Sunshine declined to offer specifics on the relationship's demise, and asked the press to "please, please respect their privacy."

Sunshine and Arons had no comment as to whether there was another "Ken" in Barbie's life.

"Barbie is actually going through something difficult," Arons said, adding that Barbie was just "a woman exercising options."

But after the news conference, Mattel Girls Division Vice President Julia Jensen dished that in the upcoming months "there may be a new blush in Barbie's life."

Longtime rumors surrounding Ken's androgyny and sexual orientation were quickly dismissed Thursday. Arons said the split had nothing to do with Ken's sexuality and that the couple loved each other.

"He is not of mixed gender," she said.

And other whisperings that Barbie and Ken are secretly sister and brother weren't even touched on.

The couple — whose romance seemed so picture-perfect that other successful pairings in and out of Hollywood were frequently dubbed "Barbie and Ken" — met on the set of their first television commercial in 1961.

Their relationship unfolded much like any other Hollywood romance, though it lasted quite a bit longer. They fell madly in love and quickly became joined at the hip, as the saying goes. They even worked together on several projects. It was a fairytale, really. That is, until the unhappy ending.

Some said the relationship dissolved because the pressure of being in the public eye became too great — even after 43 years. Others gossiped that Ken's ambiguous sexuality and Barbie's disproportionate figure finally took their toll.

Still others blamed the break on the fact that Barbie's career and popularity continued to overshadow Ken's. Then there were those who maintained that they were just a plastic couple from the beginning.

Ken's publicist denied that the all-American doll guy felt overshadowed by his gorgeous doll gal.

"For four decades Ken has been a real supporter of Barbie. We've all joked about it, but he really enjoyed being Mr. Barbie," Arons said.

Still, the question remains whether or not Barbie's fame finally did come between the pair.

"Ken played a role in every movie, but Barbie certainly was the star," Jensen added later. "But he's got strong shoulders. I wouldn't want to put words in his mouth. His official statements is that he's obviously thrilled with her success."

The twosome's relationship might be over, but their troubles aren't, especially when it comes to the settlement.

They'll be faced with the task of divvying up the hundreds of possessions they've amassed over the years, such as the Barbie Bubble Bath, camper, townhouse and several vehicles.

As for the mansion in Malibu?

"The Dream House has always been Barbie's," Arons said.

[lucidity]

Saw a segment on the early show about the Barbie thing. It's true, it's true. They've released a 'surfer' barbie who is 'single' along with a surfer male doll who certainly is not Ken. Poor guy.

[castex]

An interactive soap opera for kids! Modern, inclusive, gritty. One Barbie and a whole host of Kens, Chucks, Brads and Justins to vie for her fleeting attention.

As a story it's amusing; as marketing this seems rather vile. Kids really don't need a disfunctional family of dolls, while parents should perhaps avoid encouraging their nippers to play at litigation and 3-in-a-bed romps...Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?
Thanks for posting, anyway

[ARTelevision]

Astronomers spy 10 billion trillion trillion-carat diamond
The Associated Press
Last Updated 3:06 p.m. PST Friday, February 13, 2004
LOS ANGELES (AP) - If anyone's ever promised you the sun, the moon and the stars, tell 'em you'll settle for BPM 37093.
The heart of that burned-out star with the no-nonsense name is a sparkling diamond that weighs a staggering 10 billion trillion trillion carats. That's one followed by 34 zeros.

The hunk of celestial bling is an estimated 2,500 miles across, said Travis Metcalfe, of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics.

"You would need a jeweler's loupe the size of the sun to grade this diamond," said Metcalfe, who led the team that discovered the gem.

The diamond is a massive chunk of crystallized carbon that lies about 300 trillion miles from Earth, in the constellation Centaurus.

The galaxy's largest diamond is formally known as a white dwarf, or the hot core of a dead sun.

Astronomers have suspected for decades that white dwarfs crystallized, but only recently were able to verify the hypothesis.

A paper detailing the discovery has been submitted to The Astrophysical Journal Letters for publication.

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I like this story because it's news about the universe. But mostly, I like the phrase, "The hunk of celestial bling ..."

[ARTelevision]

Here's a morsel that's so scandalously rich that it deserves a mention. It's about Alexandra Polier, the purported paramour of the Dem's candidate of the moment...
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:from today's NY Daily News and it's by Lloyd Grove:

"Alexandra in cyberspace"

Before her 15 minutes of fame are up, we have maybe 30 seconds to share the fascinating Friendster profile of someone identified as Alexandra Polier.
That's the same name as the 27-year-old Columbia journalism grad who has denied as "completely false" the Internet and British tabloid rumors of a "relationship" with Democratic presidential frontrunner John Kerry.

The Friendster profile reads:

"About Me: just another hot piece of a- with a philosophy degree and a love for old movies. I'm afraid of death, hospitals and insects. I can't spell. I like old people. I want to travel the world reporting on injustices while taking the time to enjoy an umbrella drink when appropriate."

There's no way of knowing for sure if these colorful and provocative musings were really posted by Polier, but after checking with folks who know her, I believe they were.

Yesterday, a person listed by the "online social networking community" as a Friendster "friend" said that yes, it's the same Alexandra Polier.

The cyberspace Polier is identified as a "member since May 2003" and mostly recently logged in last Friday, as the nonscandal was reaching critical mass. She didn't respond to Lowdown's E-mail asking for verification.

Some profile highlights:

"Occupation: journalist/socialite... Status: Open Marriage...Hometown: Malvern, Pa....Interests: doting on Yaron, reading bad novels, wedding planning, drinking too much...Who I Want to Meet: A spastic, compulsive, insatiable, well-dressed Israeli, with big blue eyes, a philosophy degree, and a cute infant nephew."

"Yaron" is apparently a reference to Yaron Schwartzman, the noncyberspace Polier's fiance, an Israeli raised in Kenya.

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Curiously entertaining...

[ARTelevision]

This is from today's Wired News - I get it in my Inbox:
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She, Robot

In an unusual example of drama queens collaborating with computer geeks, Carnegie Mellon University has created what it calls the world's first robot receptionist. Valerie, a blond "roboceptionist" whose digitally animated face appears on a computer display, uses motion-detection technology to greet visitors at the entrance to a computer science hall. She answers the phone and gives directions -- although visitors must type their questions in using a keyboard. And, like a stereotypical receptionist, Valerie likes to gossip about her life, including her psychotherapy sessions, her dream of being a lounge singer and her motherboard's tendency to nag her about her social life. One of the writers who created Valerie's character admitted, "After a while on the job, she gets testy. But she can be charming too."
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How come when "hip" journalists type like that, they're not called sexist and ridiculed?

Sounds like the creators of "Valerie" need some attitude upgrades of their own...

[castex]

Is this sexism, or just stereotyping the deskbound go-betweens that serve as a company's first interface? I think you'd need to have a particular sort of character to do such a job, and that's not necessarily to say that these are particularly female traits.
Why aren't there more male receptionists? Would we all rather be welcomed by a woman? I know I would, so maybe that's it.

[castex]

want some racism with your cool new technology?

To continue the Asimovian theme, here's a satire on some of the more unsavoury opinions expounded in the UK's gutter press (The Sun, News of the World, Daily Mail, etc.); as featured in today's right-on Guarniad.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,38...103390,00.html

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Comment
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Can robots get asylum?
John O'Farrell
Friday February 20, 2004
The Guardian

This week the world's most advanced human-shaped robot has been performing to amazed audiences at the Science Museum. The gig was booked after weeks of haggling with his agent. "I'm sorry, but my boy is not sharing a dressing room with the Dalek. He gets star room number one, with a whole crate of WD40 and top billing above the animatronic Gollum."

The new Japanese robot is called Asimo, short for "Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility" (and it was also his grandfather's middle name). He really does possess an incredibly advanced range of human skills. He can walk up and down. He can shake hands. He can wave. Apparently the royal family are worried he might make them completely redundant. Asimo will even stride towards you and offer an outstretched hand as a greeting, except for the teenage version, which barely looks round and just grunts from the sofa.

All week crowds at the Science Museum have gasped as the robot has followed orders to walk up steps, walk down steps, turn around and come back. While the security guard stood there thinking: "Well I can do that! Walking up steps, that's easy. But does anybody ever ask me? Oh no, I just stand here being ignored while they applaud that stupid robot doing things I could do when I was two." There are fears that Asimo's new-found celebrity status may be getting out of hand. He's already been photographed for the Party People section of the colour supplements, chatting with weathergirl Suzanne Charlton and the drummer from the Darkness and saying: "Of course, I love performing; but what I really want to do is direct."

Asimo is small, only 1.2m, and looks like an extra from a science fiction film. He is connected to the internet, so he can provide all sorts of useful information for his owner, like how to get your android a penis enlargement. He can recognise different voices and walk in different directions, and in a decade they're hoping he might even fetch sticks. A lot is being made of his highly developed ability to walk down stairs, with no credit, apparently, being given to his British forerunner: the Slinky.

The Japanese may well make the cleverest little robots, but we can still pride ourselves on making the hardest. In a straightforward fight, Asimo wouldn't stand a chance against one of those destructive monsters from Robot Wars. We can feel a surge of patriotic pride as we imagine Asimo being sliced in two by Mr Psycho's rotating blade, while a strange man in an anorak impassively wiggles his remote control behind the screen.

The long-term plan must be that these sorts of automatons will eventually do all sorts of jobs currently undertaken by humans. But the question that everyone's asking is: what is there to stop all these foreign robots coming over here and signing on the dole? Once you let them in, they'll take advantage of our generous benefits system and bring in all their robot relations and we'll just be swamped. Because, while the science pages of our newspapers have been getting excited about the potential of robots to do all the boring menial work that no one wants to do, the tabloid editorials have been fretting that lots of eastern Europeans are about to pour into the country to do all the boring menial work that no one wants to do.

I mean, who's going to pay a Slovakian girl £3 an hour to iron all the duvet covers when you can buy a robot to do it for under £10m? So obviously we have to spend billions developing computerised labour-saving devices, since the alternative is letting foreigners into the country.

I'm sure there is a good reason for developing computerised androids, if only to inspire hundreds of would-be screen-writers into depicting a nightmarish future in which the robots rebel and turn on their masters. Our economy badly needs labour, but give me a friendly Polish painter and decorator over a Japanese robot any day. This robot has been developed by Honda and if he's anything like the Honda I used to have, when the weather's cold you'll have to push him along and jump on him to get him started.

But at least this week potential immigrants have seen a way they might be welcomed into our society. All they need to do is stick on a robot costume and they will be completely accepted. And then, just to be sure, they should scan the Daily Mail editorials and in a monotone electronic voice comment: "I agree there is already far too much immigration." And all the English people will say: "Goodness, these robots are just as intelligent as we are." Which frankly isn't saying a great deal.

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A highly conversational style seems to be positively encouraged by this newspaper. The results are often more entertaining than here, but I thought the subject matter relevant and interesting.

[macmanmike6100]

I saw some great shots of this somewhere. Can't remember but hell, it was quite a (strange) mess!