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#1 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Tampa
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Breakroom Theft Revenge Ideas
I work very hard, sometimes 16 hours a day, so my little break time is very important to me, and my food even more so. Lately some little bastard has been taking my food and I've never been around to catch him\her in the act and it's driving me crazy...
Anyone have any ideas for what I could do to catch this person? Is there some sort of chemical I can harmlessly add to the food for a little fun? Last edited by yellowgowild; 01-24-2004 at 02:10 PM.. |
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#2 (permalink) |
A Real American
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add some bugs to it and hide your real lunch in a thermo-safe bag elsewhere. Make sure the bugs are in the middle but have a bunch so he knows they're in there. Bury them bwtween a couple slices of ham or something so he doesn't see them if he opens the sandwich checking for sabotage. He won't do it again.
__________________
I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince |
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#5 (permalink) |
Insane
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lots of capsaicin or however u spell it. if ur gonna use bugs u could use maggots or something like them cause if u place them in the middle they prolly wont crawl to the outside of the sandwich. that way ur victim wont know they're there until he bites into it.
the herpes idea is good IF the person stealing ur lunch doesn't know who yOU are and cant spread information about you. ex lax brownies have been made and from what i understand one person was hospitalized from eating one. and dont forget about possible allergies, u wouldnt want to kill someone by accident. personally i'd go with the bug idea |
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#7 (permalink) | |
A Real American
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It's an Urban Legend. . It can also be very dangerous to the victim.
__________________
I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince |
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#8 (permalink) | |
/nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/
Location: LV-426
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__________________
Who is John Galt? |
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#9 (permalink) |
EVIL!
Location: Southwest of nowhere
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Put a note in the sack that says"I am tired of you stealing my lunch and have set up a video surveillance camera and am turning it over to management". May be that would stop it, unless it's the Boss that is stealing.
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When all else fails, QUIT. |
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#10 (permalink) |
Crazy
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How about tuna or chicken salad sandwich with TONS of salt, and sugar in it
![]() I was bored so I looked on google and found this: But now you need some results. If you are comfortable with a passive-aggressive approach, try laying a trap. To your next pain au salade de thon (otherwise known as a tuna sandwich), add a dash of cayenne and half a scotch bonnet pepper. Not only will you be able to detect the culprit by his or her telltale body sweats and watery eyes, but you will also enhance your culinary reputation, since the scotch bonnet pepper, the hottest pepper known to humankind, is a favorite among today's up-and-coming chefs. Also what kinda place do you work at? Office? and how big? Had a thought that consist's of blacklight ink(Coat the brownbag with it), and a black light. But I still kinda like the tuna or chicken idea ![]() |
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#11 (permalink) |
Rawr!
Location: Edmontania
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put a mousetrap in the sandwidge....
but seriously just make your food taste really bad for a week and he'll (or she'll) just look for easier pickings.
__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim |
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#12 (permalink) |
Warrior Smith
Location: missouri
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used to be a corp rent a cop in a semi white collar site- food theft was a huge problem, for no good reason, i mean, what kind of low life shit is gonna steal your lunch- didn't we all leave that behind before age ten- the "additive " ideas do work, and it only takes once- beware though, as we had one guy do the bug thing, only to find that the culprit he targeted (successfully) had added roaches to his sandwich 2 weeks later- this can spiral into something bad realy quick- I would go with the exlax or pepper- its subtler, if less harsh, and did not provoke retaliation when used where I used to work.....
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Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens |
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#13 (permalink) | |
don't ignore this-->
Location: CA
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![]() j/k, I didn't know that was an urban myth.
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I am the very model of a moderator gentleman. |
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#15 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Tampa
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I've also installed a digital video surveillance system but it doesn't do me any good if the owner forgets to turn it on. I hope it's not him...... Last edited by yellowgowild; 01-23-2004 at 11:04 PM.. |
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#16 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Tampa
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#17 (permalink) |
Natalie Portman is sexy.
Location: The Outer Rim
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Put a bunch of pubes in the sandwich, put a dildo in the lunchbox/bag, or masturbate furiously on your sandwich.
__________________
"While the State exists there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin "Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form."- Karl Marx |
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#18 (permalink) | |
Blood + Fire
Location: New Zealand
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Have you seen Dumb and Dumber? Put LOTS and LOTS of Chillis in the sandwich, after you've noticed its missing look for the fucker choking on the floor with the red face and smash his face in.
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#20 (permalink) | |
Fucking Hostile
Location: Springford, ON, Canada
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We have a winner! One jackass like this guy stealing your food ruins things for a whole bunch of people. We used to have a beer fund at work. The president of the company brought a couple cases in and put a cup in the fridge along with them and a note that said if you take a bottle, put in $1.50 (Canuck). It worked fine for a couple weeks, until someone drained $40 out of the fund. Bastard.
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Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr. |
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#22 (permalink) | |
Banned
Location: Massachusetts, USA
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Re: Breakroom Theft Revenge Ideas
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Cayenne or habañero powder, given enough of it, will certainly point him/her out. Depending on what "lunch" is, you might try something which won't taste "off" but will send them to the bathroom much more often, such as some kind of laxative. Or if you just want to take them out, certain chemicals would work. Maybe a little pesticide. (VERY evil semi-grin) OTOH, poisonning someone is not considered "cool". Could it possibly be a mistake? BTW, I never leave lunch in a public repository. "Trust" is not my strong point. |
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#24 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Seattle, WA
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At my work we have a seperate fridge in the manager's office for this very reason. I keep entire cases of pop in there, where as before I would get stuff jacked out of my plastic lunch sack.
I think just putting a sign on the fridge saying that lunches are getting stolen and it needs to stop or whoever is caught will be terminated would work. Stealing lunches is still stealing and grounds for termination. |
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#25 (permalink) |
The Northern Ward
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Pee a little on your sandwich. Put it in the fridge, make a lunch for you to eat and hide it. The next day, do it again, only leave a note that says "I pissed on my sandwich yesterday."
Oh yeah, tell your boss or something too. Or get a miniature camera.
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy |
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#26 (permalink) |
Lost
Location: One step closer to the padded cell...
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Make a turkey sandwich, but put mix wasabi with the mustard or other popular condiment ( that way it wont look horrible green ). I promise you he would not soon forget it.
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ERROR- PLBSAK Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard. |
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#27 (permalink) |
Banned
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Our boss just had a meeting with us the other day about that. He said anyone caught eating someone elses food or taking shit that doesn't belong to them is automatically fired, no questions!
Laxatives are always a good way to nab someone safely and effectively. A camera is always a good idea too and you could hold a meeting with coworkers and warn them that they will be fired if caught, it might help stop some of the theft hopefully. |
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#28 (permalink) |
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
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I think Id start simply, then escalate as necessary.
1. put a note in the bag, right on top so it cant be missed. put this on the note: Hey you lunch-STEALING scumbag! If I catch you taking my lunch, I WILL put you in the hospital. When you get out of the hospital, you will find that have been fired and reported to the police. You have been warned. if that doesnt do the trick, escalate to step two. 2. the bad taste trick. put something that will RUIN the taste in the food, like too much salt, cayenne or other really hot pepper, etc. again, escalate to step three as necessary. 3. the boobie-trap. could be a laxative, or a mousetrap or basically anything that will cause NON-LETHAL pain or suffering to the thief.
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He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin... |
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#29 (permalink) | |
Fucking Hostile
Location: Springford, ON, Canada
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Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr. |
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#30 (permalink) |
Tone.
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putting cat shit, pesticide, etc, in there is illegal and YOU could go to jail for it, so don't do it.
What is NOT illegal, however, is to start carrying your lunch in a metal box like construction workers use. Next, go to Radio Shack and pick up a magnetic door alarm (the white one that requires a key to turn it off) and install it inside the box, with the sensor on the lid. When the guy opens your box, it starts beeping LOUDLY, and you find out who it is. |
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#36 (permalink) | |
Darth Papa
Location: Yonder
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Here's my suggestion: methylene blue! It'll turn his urine bright kool-ade blue for a couple days. |
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#39 (permalink) | |
Tone.
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yes,even if it's your own lunch. Judge: Why'd you put cat shit in your lunch You: I knew that the stealing sonovabitch would eat it. Judge: You put cat shit in food that you knew would be eaten by someone else? You: Yep. Judge: Guilty. |
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Tags |
breakroom, ideas, revenge, theft |
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