troit

I touched base on this subject a little bit on the last board but thought I'd bring the subject back up.

So I'm back on the dating scene after a six year layoff and am having no problem in the lady department. Everythings roses, right? Well not exactly.

I'm realizing that sex without that emotional connection is actually pretty empty and unfulfilling. Sure I can get in there and get off, but it just isn't doing it for me. I miss the passion, the connection. The look in the eye or the meaning behin that touch. I don't know -- maybe I've lost my mind. Help set me straight -- What do you think?

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hrdwareguy

Sex is sex, but sex with someone you care about is more than that.

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SaltPork

what he said....

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

guthmund

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sixate

Are you sure you're still a man? *joke*

Anyway, I think you've lost your mind or maybe that's what happens when we start getting older. Still in my mid 20's so I don't feel the same way as you. If a chic is hot and I like her that's good enough for me..... I don't like too many girls so don't think I fuck every chic that I can.

WhoaitsZ

sex w/o emotion, i'd imagine, is not much diff than simple masturbation.

either slow down or find something very kinky

World's King

Sex shouldn't be all that life is about.

But at the age of 22 if I don't shoot this load soon I'm gonna explode in a sea of cum and blood.

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WhoaitsZ

yepyep. young dudes full and ready to go is nothing short of dangerous.

masturbate for peace. and women who wanna help make the world safer, feel free to fuck or suck us.

SiN

mhm..i've had plenty of pure emotionless sex...

...and i'm currently with someone, the person i want to spend the rest of my life with...the sexual part of our relationship is just amazing because of the emotional connection.

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YzermanS19

I think sex is pretty good all around.

Sex with love is better.....but sex without love is still pretty damn good

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Lebell

Help set you straight? How so? You got it straight.

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Stilts

Sex is good. Sex with someone that you love, and trust is much much better. One of the major reasons that as much as I'd like to I won't cheat on my wife. It'll never be as good, and I risk never getting the good sex again in the process. Of course if there is no one that you're currently with, who you love and trust, then regular sex is the next best thing.

viejo gringo

Sex is one thing---love may be part of that......

but when you finally really LIKE that someone....

well. you'l know when it happens...

etardedraverboy

now that i have found out ther is moore than sex i find my self with less women i guess its because im looking for highquality(lol)

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PataQ

you're right in saying "sex is sex. sex with a person you care about is different."

but having been through my personal experiance (see the religions thread, and dont worry, it's not a religious experiance....i think :P)


after you go through that, it's like breaking a wall, you're left in the most intimate level of intimacy... where sex is meaningless, mearly a release of hormonal frustration... to have ones mind, and ones body completely connected is to truely know intimacy.

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Ambition

Troit, you hit the nail on the head. Sex is sex, I'd personally prefer something real. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I'd prefer something real. I think you have the right idea though. It's just that finding that connection isn't always that easy.

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degrawj

sex is sexy. sex with someone you love is sexier.

jets

ditto degrawj

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Peetster

That special someone is awesome. :-)

*Nikki*

Troit as usual you and I are in the same place. I totally know what you are talking about. After years of sex with someone I was in love with, loveless sex just can't even begin to compare.

There is something about love that makes sex so awesome. I don't think anyone that has never been in love would understand the emotion and passion behind this time of encounter.

I am looking forward to experiencing all this with my new man who already sets my heart on fire.

gibber71

I've had sex with one person that I loved deeply and yet I've had meaningless sex with people that quite frankly I couldn't care less about,but that was a long time ago.I would agree that the first of the above two is great,but after being single for ten years I've realized that sex can mean a great deal,if not more with someone you really care for but who you may not necessarily love in the way that love with sex has been described.

rogue49

In my early 20's I did the player thing.

Later on I wanted something more than just that.

But I've been used & hurt so much by others,
that maybe I'll just go back to being a player
until I can find that woman who makes a commitment to me.

But since they don't seem to be able to make up their mind,
and what they say and what they do are totally different,
then I'll probably just stud around.

It's not worth the pain anymore.
Ladies, maybe this is why men are the shits they are.

rockogre

Sex with no spark is just friction.

Friction is so common you have it in the palm of your hand.

Sex with a spark is fireworks and a bag of chips.

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sierra2774

The emotional connection is what does it for me, that is the best sex.

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yournamehere

Well, it looks like I'm swimming against the current here.

I'm all for love and companionship and emotional involvement, but some of the best sexual experiences I've had in my life were with people that just wanted to get wild and nekkid and go crazy with each other's bodies. I would say a <i>relationship</i> is better when there's love involved with the sex, but sex for the sake of sex between two (or more) consenting, adventurous adults can be an emotionally elevating experience in its own right - without any other "feelings" involved. In fact when I look back on most of the long term relationships I've had with women, the best sex was usually at the beginning of the relationship - before the emotional connection developed.

Eh - maybe it's just me - I'm not a very emotional person, but I do like sex.

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-=BT=-

I agree with most people's sentiments here.

I've had sex with girls I was in love with and girls I wasn't. To be honest, sex with the girls I knew only for that night wasn't mind-blowing. In fact, it could be a little bit awkward because they like getting off in one way and I might like getting off in another. Sex with someone I love is always mind-blowing and gets better and better. If you know someone inside and out (no pun intended ) then the sex can be INCREDIBLE.

Spanky Johnson

Sounds to me like you've gained some wisdom and maturity during the 6 years you weren't dating.

rogue49

Yes, but you are also doing what you need to do for yourself.

Sooner or later, you will find that person you'll click with
and that relationship will grow on your own terms,
not because of human needs (aka sex),
but because they are a true friend and companion.

You satisfying your needs is not bad as long as you are responsible and very honest about it.
This will give you a better perspective on your potential love interest without the animal desires getting in the way.

That is a trap that many get caught in trying to attain an ideal.
Reality is reality.

Baricua2782

i know what you're saying, i lost my fiance of 3 years. Nothing is the same. Sad part is after all she did to me, I still love her.

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riptide4070

To achieve great sex it requires great love. Sex is nice but companionship from the one you love means a lot more and makes you much happier. Although if you're in a relationship and have been sexually active, when there is a decrease in sexual activity, people usually worry.....

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cdwonderful

yes, quite!

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grumpyolddude

After 24 years, an empty house would be disconcerting. I'd probably go looking for someome to talk to (or, more correctly, to listen to) rather than someone to take home to bed. Don't EVER want to find out, though.

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Slims

Right now for me (I'm 22), there is more than sex, but sex is still very much at the top of my list.

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absorbentishe

Here's my take...

Sex without an emotional partner is good, but sex with someone you love or care about, and who cares about you is great. If you know that you are both totally into each other, and pleasing each other's needs, then it becomes great.