Off Limits? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Angel · 12-17-2003, 12:22 PM

Do you feel a woman's purse is off limits?

Growing up it was a BIG no no to get into my mother's purse. We were to bring it to her and have her get whatever it was that was needed or wanted.

My Ex used to get into my purse all of the time and he felt it was no big deal. (He also did this to see if there was anything hiding in there out of his paranoia)

My sweetie now won't even peek in there. He almost struggles just bringing it to me. It is a woman's sacred space as far as he is concerned.

Me, If you have my permission to get in my purse, then it is obviously okay to do so. Otherwise, stay out. All that matters to me is that one asks out of respect. There is nothing in there that is sacred or off limits but it is "mine".

How do you feel about it?

I'm editing this to include men's wallets/bags as well. I want the ladies to answer these questions too!

krwlz · 12-17-2003, 12:28 PM

Very very rarely would I go in someones purse. Also though, I would hate to have someone go through my backpack, duffle bag, suitcase, etc.

Its just respect. The one exception is this.... On occaision Ive gone in my mother purse when I couldnt find an inhaler. But I think thats differant.

World's King · 12-17-2003, 12:30 PM

I will never go through a womens purse.

Unless I've stolen it then I'll take out all the money and stuff.

Cynthetiq · 12-17-2003, 12:32 PM

I NEVER go into a woman's purse. Ever. Not my mom's, not my wife's, not my sister.

I am not interested in being responsible for anything in there, nor am I interested in TMI syndrome.

Angel · 12-17-2003, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
nor am I interested in TMI syndrome.

That was funny. It could be a bit too much!

japhyryder · 12-17-2003, 12:44 PM

It is like a guys wallet, when my wife goes into my wallet to "clean it out" I get so pissed, people should give each other there little bit of privacy.

Sho Nuff · 12-17-2003, 12:45 PM

A girl I was dating went through my wallet once. I went through the roof. Im a very open person but I draw strict lines in certain places. You stay out of my wallet and I stay out of your purse.

WannabeTFP · 12-17-2003, 01:18 PM

I don't think it should be a big deal. I mean, honestly, unless you're jacking my cash, I don't care if you play with my wallet.

herostar · 12-17-2003, 01:51 PM

I had the same deal growing up. Purse is off limits, as is my wallet. I can honestly say I've never looked through a girls purse.

Mephisto2 · 12-17-2003, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Angel

My sweetie now won't even peek in there. He almost struggles just bringing it to me. It is a woman's sacred space as far as he is concerned.
How do you feel about it?

That sounds just like me.

My mother used always tell me "Never look in a ladies bag!" and then proceed to give me a bang on the ear if she caught me even peeking.

I won't look in my wife's bag without her permission.

Mr Mephisto

spived2 · 12-17-2003, 02:38 PM

I won't let a girl go through my wallet unless I'm sitting there with her, watching everything she does. Usually they're just interested in the pictures, but you never know...

As for a womens purse, I learned from my mom when I was four that it was off limits. I have heeded that advice to this day and will never go through a womens purse.

homerhop · 12-17-2003, 02:41 PM

A very big yes, even when she says get her something from it I will hand her the whole thing and let her get that item herself

Mephisto2 · 12-17-2003, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spived2
I won't let a girl go through my wallet unless I'm sitting there with her, watching everything she does. Usually they're just interested in the pictures, but you never know...

You never know what?! You think they're going to steal from you?
That sounds a bit strange.

Mr Mephisto

clavus · 12-17-2003, 03:49 PM

My wife could, at any time, go through my wallet, email, letters, records, etc. and I wouldn't give a crap. She'll find no suprises. She feels the same about me and her stuff.

Yet I still feel very unnerved if she asks me to get something out of her purse. Much like the Ladies Lounge, it's not a place for me, so I'd rather not go there.

Phaenx · 12-17-2003, 04:04 PM

I used to go in my moms purse all the time, there was gum to be found in there. It seemed fine to me, and it's usually cool unless you find someones tampons.

bermuDa · 12-17-2003, 04:05 PM

never without permission, and always in their presence.

sailor · 12-17-2003, 04:28 PM

No way, no how.

Poloboy · 12-17-2003, 04:33 PM

I won't even go through it with their permission. My mom raised me to bring it to her and let her root through it, so I do likewise for the sister/girlfriend/any other girl.

sixate · 12-17-2003, 04:55 PM

I'll never go through someone's purse...
And don't ask me to carry it for you either because I won't!

Kostya · 12-17-2003, 04:58 PM

What sort of foolish man would even believe he had a chance of negotiating the two hundred and fifty five zipped compartments and so forth anyhow?

My wallet never has anything in it anyway, so I don't really mind if people go through it.

Angel · 12-17-2003, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kostya
What sort of foolish man would even believe he had a chance of negotiating the two hundred and fifty five zipped compartments and so forth anyhow?

Kinda scary to think the woman actually knows every little thread of those 255 zipped compartments.

I wanted to add that I would never look in a mans wallet either.

oberon · 12-17-2003, 06:04 PM

Uhm... I wouldn't go through something that's not mine. Common sense, anyone?

Sparhawk · 12-17-2003, 06:46 PM

I have the same aversion to going through a woman's purse. Same with, say, medicine cabinets when you are a guest in someone's house-none of your damn business!

That being said, I have yet to go out with a woman who does not meticulously examine every bloody thing in my wallet at some point in the relationship.

MSD · 12-17-2003, 07:47 PM

My mom asks me to get stuff for her, then gets mad when I can't find it. The last time I weighed it to try to counter her argument that I should be able to find sutff in there, there were 4 pounds of crap strewn about in the five compartments, three mini-bags, two wallets, and God only knows what else.

BlueBongo · 12-17-2003, 08:30 PM

Well, I hate carrying purses (let alone the wallet that I do drudge around). I don't really care if someone needs something out of my bag/backpack/wallet and I'm not easily accessible to getting it or busy I'll let them get it. I can't say I'd let any john or jane just go into my stuff, but for the most part I don't have a problem if someone I know needs something I have in there... it's otay for them to get it if they want. I don't feel like I have anything to hide in there... so let 'em go at it.

G_Whiz · 12-17-2003, 09:26 PM

I have a deep respect for a woman's purse. My wife has trained me to fear the purse monster that lurks in wait of unwary male fingers.

Besides, would I want a woman rummaging through my pockets?...

Er, I guess that depends on whether I'm in the pants and who the woman is.

analog · 12-17-2003, 10:17 PM

Just because there's nothing to hide doesn't mean unconditional access. People have a right to some levels of privacy, regardless of their arrangement (married, etc.).

I would never look in a woman's purse, unless she told me to.

streak_56 · 12-17-2003, 10:28 PM

I never touch a womans purse without asking first. IDK I think its b/c of the way I was raised.

amonkie · 12-17-2003, 10:30 PM

Well, my friend once felt comfortable enough digging into my purse to find my retainer case and try and dump glitter in there - I happened to walk in just in time!

Other than that close call, if I give someone permission, I don't mind them going through my purse; they're usually asking for a stick of gum and see it right on top. Other than that, my purse is an extension of my space- don't go where you're not allowed.

omega2K4 · 12-18-2003, 12:35 AM

You girls carry way too much shit in your damned purses. Even if I wanted to look in a purse, it would be so cluttered with useless shit-- I wouldn't be able to find anything of usage.

Kostya · 12-18-2003, 05:18 AM

Note to women:

Despite what you may think, men do not like carrying your purse for you. What you think is kind of cute, nice etc, we find humiliating and a direct attack to our precious masculinity (ouuuur precious, we needs it).

So please, do your husbands, boyfriends, platonic male friends, brothers and sons a favour and do not burden them with your purses and the attached social stigma at the next all male gathering.

PS. We still don't know what the significance of Italian label handbags are. My theory is their sturdy strap makes them far more difficult for street punks of the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' variety to snatch.

Bloodslick · 12-18-2003, 06:02 AM

For the longest time, my mom wouldn't let me look inside her purse, insisting I simply bring it to her. In recent years, she's sent me inside those hallowed pockets to try to fetch various items. The time it took me has made me understand why she used to just do it herself.

My girlfriend doesn't have a purse. I usually end up carrying her driver's license and debit card in my pockets when we go out.

I don't mind when my girlfriend goes through my wallet. I used to mind horribly when my ex would do it, because she was the jealous, frightened type to whom I had to explain everything, including a membership in the Bathroom Reader's Institute. Things like that make men leave.

Holo · 12-18-2003, 06:06 AM

My mother didn't allow me to go in her purse. My gf doesn't really care.

peacy · 12-18-2003, 06:24 AM

I don't have a wallet, so feel free to go through it any time...

As for going into a lady's purse: no way. Not even if she asks me.
Carrying a purse... Hmmm... It's damn to heavy...

Frowning Budah · 12-18-2003, 08:13 AM

My wife can't find anything in her purse and neither can I. I will occasionally look for the checkbook or keys. She doesn't mind. Other that money there is nothing in my wallet of much interest, but if my wife wants to look more power to her.

Midnight_Son · 12-18-2003, 08:25 AM

My wife doesn't have any problems going into my wallet.....
What’s good for goose is good for the gander.

Tinker · 12-18-2003, 08:46 AM

I have no problem with my husband going through my purse and he doesnt care if I go into his wallet, but I always ask first and so does he

txlovely · 12-18-2003, 08:59 AM

I don't carry anything of much interest in my purse - only necessities - lipstick, wallet, knife, pen and keys, sometimes pain pills and/or gum - and don't mind sending my SO or anyone really to look for something. I can honestly say that I have never gone into my SO's wallet.

skier · 12-18-2003, 09:40 AM

My mom always had me getting stuff from her purse, so i have no aversion to looking through one for something. However, that's just my mom, and I will respect any other woman's right to privacy regarding their baggage.

water_boy1999 · 12-18-2003, 11:36 AM

Out of respect, I would never go through a woman's purse. That's just the way I was raised. I wouldn't want someone going through my wallet either unless I was there. Although there is not much in it, I do keep important notes, receipts, etc. in there that I wouyld prefer not to have rummaged through..

12-17-2003, 12:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	Off Limits? Do you feel a woman's purse is off limits? Growing up it was a BIG no no to get into my mother's purse. We were to bring it to her and have her get whatever it was that was needed or wanted. My Ex used to get into my purse all of the time and he felt it was no big deal. (He also did this to see if there was anything hiding in there out of his paranoia) My sweetie now won't even peek in there. He almost struggles just bringing it to me. It is a woman's sacred space as far as he is concerned. Me, If you have my permission to get in my purse, then it is obviously okay to do so. Otherwise, stay out. All that matters to me is that one asks out of respect. There is nothing in there that is sacred or off limits but it is "mine". How do you feel about it? I'm editing this to include men's wallets/bags as well. I want the ladies to answer these questions too! __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus Last edited by Angel; 12-17-2003 at 05:41 PM..

12-17-2003, 12:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	Very very rarely would I go in someones purse. Also though, I would hate to have someone go through my backpack, duffle bag, suitcase, etc. Its just respect. The one exception is this.... On occaision Ive gone in my mother purse when I couldnt find an inhaler. But I think thats differant. Last edited by krwlz; 12-18-2003 at 07:08 AM..

12-17-2003, 12:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	I will never go through a womens purse. Unless I've stolen it then I'll take out all the money and stuff. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

12-17-2003, 12:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	I NEVER go into a woman's purse. Ever. Not my mom's, not my wife's, not my sister. I am not interested in being responsible for anything in there, nor am I interested in TMI syndrome. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

12-17-2003, 12:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
japhyryder no one special Location: Charlotte, NC	It is like a guys wallet, when my wife goes into my wallet to "clean it out" I get so pissed, people should give each other there little bit of privacy. __________________ It's only entertainment, someone's sick idea of a joke.

12-17-2003, 12:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Sho Nuff Addict Location: Harlem	A girl I was dating went through my wallet once. I went through the roof. Im a very open person but I draw strict lines in certain places. You stay out of my wallet and I stay out of your purse. __________________ I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

12-17-2003, 01:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
WannabeTFP Upright	I don't think it should be a big deal. I mean, honestly, unless you're jacking my cash, I don't care if you play with my wallet.

12-17-2003, 01:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
herostar Psycho Location: South Dakota	I had the same deal growing up. Purse is off limits, as is my wallet. I can honestly say I've never looked through a girls purse. __________________ Got time to chill?

12-17-2003, 02:38 PM	#11 (permalink)
spived2 Desert Rat Location: Arizona	I won't let a girl go through my wallet unless I'm sitting there with her, watching everything she does. Usually they're just interested in the pictures, but you never know... As for a womens purse, I learned from my mom when I was four that it was off limits. I have heeded that advice to this day and will never go through a womens purse. __________________ "This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V

12-17-2003, 02:41 PM	#12 (permalink)
homerhop Insane Location: ÉIRE	A very big yes, even when she says get her something from it I will hand her the whole thing and let her get that item herself __________________ its evolution baby

12-17-2003, 03:49 PM	#14 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	My wife could, at any time, go through my wallet, email, letters, records, etc. and I wouldn't give a crap. She'll find no suprises. She feels the same about me and her stuff. Yet I still feel very unnerved if she asks me to get something out of her purse. Much like the Ladies Lounge, it's not a place for me, so I'd rather not go there. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

12-17-2003, 04:04 PM	#15 (permalink)
Phaenx The Northern Ward Location: Columbus, Ohio	I used to go in my moms purse all the time, there was gum to be found in there. It seemed fine to me, and it's usually cool unless you find someones tampons. __________________ "I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

12-17-2003, 04:05 PM	#16 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	never without permission, and always in their presence. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

12-17-2003, 04:28 PM	#17 (permalink)
sailor beauty in the breakdown Location: Chapel Hill, NC	No way, no how. __________________ "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." --Plato

12-17-2003, 04:33 PM	#18 (permalink)
Poloboy Insane Location: Canada	I won't even go through it with their permission. My mom raised me to bring it to her and let her root through it, so I do likewise for the sister/girlfriend/any other girl.

12-17-2003, 04:55 PM	#19 (permalink)
sixate Registered User Location: Somewhere in Ohio	I'll never go through someone's purse... And don't ask me to carry it for you either because I won't!

12-17-2003, 04:58 PM	#20 (permalink)
Kostya Little known... Location: Brisbane, Australia	What sort of foolish man would even believe he had a chance of negotiating the two hundred and fifty five zipped compartments and so forth anyhow? My wallet never has anything in it anyway, so I don't really mind if people go through it.

12-17-2003, 06:04 PM	#22 (permalink)
oberon Quadrature Amplitude Modulator Location: Denver	Uhm... I wouldn't go through something that's not mine. Common sense, anyone? __________________ "There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb

12-17-2003, 06:46 PM	#23 (permalink)
Sparhawk Dubya Location: VA	I have the same aversion to going through a woman's purse. Same with, say, medicine cabinets when you are a guest in someone's house-none of your damn business! That being said, I have yet to go out with a woman who does not meticulously examine every bloody thing in my wallet at some point in the relationship. __________________ "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."

12-17-2003, 07:47 PM	#24 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	My mom asks me to get stuff for her, then gets mad when I can't find it. The last time I weighed it to try to counter her argument that I should be able to find sutff in there, there were 4 pounds of crap strewn about in the five compartments, three mini-bags, two wallets, and God only knows what else.

12-17-2003, 09:26 PM	#26 (permalink)
G_Whiz Junkie Location: Northern California	I have a deep respect for a woman's purse. My wife has trained me to fear the purse monster that lurks in wait of unwary male fingers. Besides, would I want a woman rummaging through my pockets?... Er, I guess that depends on whether I'm in the pants and who the woman is. __________________ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

12-17-2003, 10:17 PM	#27 (permalink)
analog Banned	Just because there's nothing to hide doesn't mean unconditional access. People have a right to some levels of privacy, regardless of their arrangement (married, etc.). I would never look in a woman's purse, unless she told me to.

12-17-2003, 10:28 PM	#28 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	I never touch a womans purse without asking first. IDK I think its b/c of the way I was raised.

12-17-2003, 10:30 PM	#29 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	Well, my friend once felt comfortable enough digging into my purse to find my retainer case and try and dump glitter in there - I happened to walk in just in time! Other than that close call, if I give someone permission, I don't mind them going through my purse; they're usually asking for a stick of gum and see it right on top. Other than that, my purse is an extension of my space- don't go where you're not allowed. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

12-18-2003, 12:35 AM	#30 (permalink)
omega2K4 Natalie Portman is sexy. Location: The Outer Rim	You girls carry way too much shit in your damned purses. Even if I wanted to look in a purse, it would be so cluttered with useless shit-- I wouldn't be able to find anything of usage. __________________ "While the State exists there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin "Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form."- Karl Marx

12-18-2003, 05:18 AM	#31 (permalink)
Kostya Little known... Location: Brisbane, Australia	Note to women: Despite what you may think, men do not like carrying your purse for you. What you think is kind of cute, nice etc, we find humiliating and a direct attack to our precious masculinity (ouuuur precious, we needs it). So please, do your husbands, boyfriends, platonic male friends, brothers and sons a favour and do not burden them with your purses and the attached social stigma at the next all male gathering. PS. We still don't know what the significance of Italian label handbags are. My theory is their sturdy strap makes them far more difficult for street punks of the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' variety to snatch. Last edited by Kostya; 12-18-2003 at 05:20 AM..

12-18-2003, 06:02 AM	#32 (permalink)
Bloodslick Loser Location: a darkened back alley	For the longest time, my mom wouldn't let me look inside her purse, insisting I simply bring it to her. In recent years, she's sent me inside those hallowed pockets to try to fetch various items. The time it took me has made me understand why she used to just do it herself. My girlfriend doesn't have a purse. I usually end up carrying her driver's license and debit card in my pockets when we go out. I don't mind when my girlfriend goes through my wallet. I used to mind horribly when my ex would do it, because she was the jealous, frightened type to whom I had to explain everything, including a membership in the Bathroom Reader's Institute. Things like that make men leave.

12-18-2003, 06:06 AM	#33 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	My mother didn't allow me to go in her purse. My gf doesn't really care. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

12-18-2003, 06:24 AM	#34 (permalink)
peacy Crazy Location: Reading, UK	I don't have a wallet, so feel free to go through it any time... As for going into a lady's purse: no way. Not even if she asks me. Carrying a purse... Hmmm... It's damn to heavy...

12-18-2003, 08:13 AM	#35 (permalink)
Frowning Budah Slave of Fear	My wife can't find anything in her purse and neither can I. I will occasionally look for the checkbook or keys. She doesn't mind. Other that money there is nothing in my wallet of much interest, but if my wife wants to look more power to her.

12-18-2003, 08:25 AM	#36 (permalink)
Midnight_Son The Cover Doesn't Match The Book Location: in a van down by the river	My wife doesn't have any problems going into my wallet..... What’s good for goose is good for the gander. __________________ SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority.

12-18-2003, 08:46 AM	#37 (permalink)
Tinker Tilted Location: California	I have no problem with my husband going through my purse and he doesnt care if I go into his wallet, but I always ask first and so does he

12-18-2003, 08:59 AM	#38 (permalink)
txlovely Insane Location: ...We have a problem.	I don't carry anything of much interest in my purse - only necessities - lipstick, wallet, knife, pen and keys, sometimes pain pills and/or gum - and don't mind sending my SO or anyone really to look for something. I can honestly say that I have never gone into my SO's wallet. __________________ Cruel words erode self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

12-18-2003, 09:40 AM	#39 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	My mom always had me getting stuff from her purse, so i have no aversion to looking through one for something. However, that's just my mom, and I will respect any other woman's right to privacy regarding their baggage. __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

12-18-2003, 11:36 AM	#40 (permalink)
water_boy1999 Fly em straight! Location: Above and Beyond	Out of respect, I would never go through a woman's purse. That's just the way I was raised. I wouldn't want someone going through my wallet either unless I was there. Although there is not much in it, I do keep important notes, receipts, etc. in there that I wouyld prefer not to have rummaged through.. __________________ Doh!!!! -Homer Simpson