Embarrasing Incidents - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sticky · 12-11-2003, 11:29 AM

I came across the following story somewhere in the electronic universe and it got me thinking aobut embarrasing incidents.

Anything like this ever happen to you?
Here is the story:

Quote:

The Garbage Disposal

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"

There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last
action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals
are sometimes faced with a fight or flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.

I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-here, done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... ... and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all.

A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. Which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew!

Reese · 12-11-2003, 11:35 AM

oh man.. That's so freakin funny. I know if I happened to be in that positition one of my cats would do the exact same thing.
VERY VERY good story

Silvy · 12-11-2003, 11:41 AM

Very, very good story. Had a good laugh at that.
I don't think I've even been that humiliated...

Man, I sympathise with him...
(yet I laugh

)

mrquackers · 12-11-2003, 11:56 AM

I sit in the middle of a remote, tears streaking out of my eyes and hoping that the sounds I just made weren't too much like a whale surfacing for air.

Good GOD what a funny story. I have nothing that can begin to compete.

basmoq · 12-11-2003, 03:47 PM

I haven't, but my brothers an EMT, and since you mentioned them, I have a good one for you guys, though I'm in a hurry so you'll get the short version. My brother gets called into a carwash where there an unnamed incident occured. He drives up to find a girl with lacerations to the lip. What is worse, she is stuck under a steering wheel... It seems she was giving her boyfriend a BJ in the carwash when she cut her lip on his zipper, jerked her head back, and lodged it under the steering wheel!!!

I have no understanding of how she got her head stuck there, but it took two guys to get her out.

Cycler · 12-11-2003, 04:30 PM

Well I guess funny story starts while I was in college. Just got a cell phone and my favorite place to keep was in the front pocket of my sweatshirts. Well I guess while in a hurry to do laundry one day I shucked the sweatshirt directly into the washing machine without checking the pockets. Transfer wet clothes into drier. Walk away. Go back later because I hear a rather alarming rhythmic thudding. It was my cell phone, washed, dried, and dead. I pressed the power button it uttered a short squak and passed into oblivion. Bought a new one and that little lesson cost me about 250.00. I kept that second phone until just about a month ago.Well I posted to the how much do you value your cell phone enough to go into the toliet thread and stated I valued it as much as my new one cost 226.00 and wouldn't go into the toliet but stated that yeah I had in fact washed one once.Well fast forward to last night. I was washing jeans..Surely you think not again...my new favorite place to keep the phone is in the pants pocket of my jeans. Yup wash the jeans unload and there sitting at the bottom is my new cell phone freshly cleaned. "Oh Shit!" Press the power button no response. I perform emergency surgery taking it completely apart in an attempt to save my new baby. Hour 1 I clean and dry every component, nothing. Let it sit to dry out fingers crossed. Hour 2 clean and dry every component again.... put it back together praying (I know God is laughin at this point)... nothing, damn. I plug it in again after taking it apart for a third time. See nothing for a second and then the battery charging bar flips on. IT LIVES!!! Worked fine all day today. I think the drying really does them in. Nokia 8260 one damn tough phone. Good for stupid owners.

analog · 12-12-2003, 12:36 AM

that's a fuckin hilarious story, I damn near fell out of my chair. good post.

Sticky · 12-12-2003, 05:30 AM

Cycler I have heard of that happening before. Apperently all they seem to need is a little time to recouperate after the incident.

Gortexfogg · 12-12-2003, 06:06 AM

Oh man, poor guy! At least he has a great story to tell...

rider6061 · 12-12-2003, 06:52 AM

That has to be extremely painful.

Great story!

feelgood · 12-12-2003, 07:40 AM

Shitted in the car one time. No, it wasn't something that scared the shit outta me it was simply not going to the bathroom before a long trip...streak_56 can collabrate that story.

troit · 12-12-2003, 07:52 AM

OMFG -- can you imagine!?!

*sits in the corner, holding jewels and cowering.... j/k

Way too funny. I disagree with them though. What boss is going to tell you you have to come into the office after you tell them that story....?

streak_56 · 12-12-2003, 08:22 AM

Yup feelgood did shit in the Car... but damn did it ever stink. My worse is that I got my ball sac caught on a swing when I was a little kid hurt like hell but everything works fine now.

santafe5000 · 12-12-2003, 05:20 PM

Man, what a story. I think if they found out the truth at work, I'd go looking for a new job. Makes you think about walking around naked, don't it. Never know what will happen.

SiNai · 12-12-2003, 05:38 PM

Way back when that first Zelda came out for Game Boy, I went to a friend's house with it in my pocket, didn't take it out when I got home, and it was washed and dried. I was sad- the label was all messed up.. But sure enough, it still worked!

Fast forward a couple months, same situation, same friend, same washer and dryer. Still worked!

Hardy little thing.. It must be sitting around at home somewhere..

RippedSock1 · 12-13-2003, 12:48 PM

For some reason, Nintendo products are the some of the most durable electronics on earth. As a kid, I dropped an old gameboy out of a 2nd story window onto concrete. Needless to say, I was pissed. I went outside to find the reminants of my poor gameboy... and it was whole. NOTHING BROKE. A booted it up and I played games just like normal.

Akira · 12-13-2003, 08:13 PM

Yeah Nintendo products don't break so easily, except for those battery covers on the GameBoys, always ended up breaking those. On topic, man that has to hurt a cat going for the jewels. Ouch.

PredeconInferno · 12-13-2003, 08:30 PM

You see... never leave dangling objects by a kitty...

OMG that's terrible... just imagining those needle sharp claws buried... I'm done.

/stops

gonadman · 12-14-2003, 01:57 PM

I had a similiar experience many years ago. The short- new husky pup, and my GF and I in front of a sliding patio glass door. The pup went for the dangling toys(we were, of course going *doggie style*) and the sensation of teeth closing in on my manhood as well as the unexpected cold wet nose up my butt almost launched me through the glass door!

wry1 · 12-21-2003, 09:19 PM

I can tell you right now, and with complete candor....if I had a cat that did that, I'd be wokking the cat as soon as I could move again!

Yes, I spelled it right. Taking the cat for a wok.

You know, they taste like chicken if you get the batter right!

etla · 12-30-2003, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by santafe5000
Man, what a story. I think if they found out the truth at work, I'd go looking for a new job. Makes you think about walking around naked, don't it. Never know what will happen.

Here's a tip for ya all. Never fry bacon in the nude. DAMHIKT.

InTeGrA77 · 12-30-2003, 12:37 PM

damn cat...that even made me cringe, and i'm a girl!

gabshu · 12-30-2003, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wry1
I can tell you right now, and with complete candor....if I had a cat that did that, I'd be wokking the cat as soon as I could move again!

Yes, I spelled it right. Taking the cat for a wok.

You know, they taste like chicken if you get the batter right!

Yup, I would throw it in the garbage disposal. What a fucker, that´s why I hate cats.

H12 · 12-31-2003, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RippedSock1
For some reason, Nintendo products are the some of the most durable electronics on earth. As a kid, I dropped an old gameboy out of a 2nd story window onto concrete. Needless to say, I was pissed. I went outside to find the reminants of my poor gameboy... and it was whole. NOTHING BROKE. A booted it up and I played games just like normal.

I had lost a N64 Memory Card one time at a friend's house during the winter. I had him search the house everytime I came down for the rest of the season. Then one day he found it out in the lawn (March'ish, I guess?) and it still worked fine and dandy.

Thanks, Nintendo.

Stare At The Sun · 12-31-2003, 12:57 PM

Man, that was a funny ass story, thanks for sharing!

Amethyst · 12-31-2003, 01:13 PM

That is so funny I am laughing out loud.
I have a funny story about my husband that happened last week but I would have to ask him permission before I told it.

TheBrit · 01-01-2004, 07:40 AM

I got a fairly embarrasing one.
I had an operation when I was 13, it involved taking my left ball out, removing something from it and putting it back in. Still numb on the left side of my groin, scar that girls ask about when visiting and it was bruised for about 3 years after. Anyway. I came round after the operation to find a nurse fiddling around with some stitches down there, she was very professional and all, I was in too much pain to be aroused or anything so it all happened without incident. But I swore I recognised her. About two or three months later I start dating a girl that I had been meeting up with casually since before the operation. I think you can guess the ending to this one.
We are on the sofa, I have my arm round her watching a film and her mum comes in. Same woman. I had told the girl everything about the operation, I had to because I couldn't do anything with my bits for about 6 months after the operation because of the pain. And to top it all off, the nurse told my girlfriend about it.

sexymama · 01-01-2004, 10:55 AM

I'm not sure if I told this before -- but it is my most embarrassing moment and I think it is funny.

I was 19 and working in downtown Seattle. To get to the bus every morning, I had to walk down a very busy 7 lane highway during rush hour. One morning, as I'm walking, a car full of Mexican men pulls up beside me. One man leans out and says, "the back, the back, you get in the back." Being the strong woman that I am, I put my hands on my hips, chin in the air and walk off saying, "I will not get in the back of your car, you leave me alone." They creep up beside me and repeat, "the back, the back, you get the back." Again, I walk off, saying more firmly, "I will not get in the back of your car, leave me alone." Of course, my heart is racing by then! They inch up beside me again. This time a different man speaks. He says, "No, the back, you look at the back." Somehow he got me to look back to find my skirt and slip tucked into my panties and my bare butt exposed for all the traffic to see!

I didn't tell that story for over 3 years I was so embarrassed! Now it is a favorite memory. It feels good to laugh at myself.

12-11-2003, 11:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	oh man.. That's so freakin funny. I know if I happened to be in that positition one of my cats would do the exact same thing. VERY VERY good story __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

12-11-2003, 11:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
Silvy paranoid Location: The Netherlands	Very, very good story. Had a good laugh at that. I don't think I've even been that humiliated... Man, I sympathise with him... (yet I laugh ) __________________ "Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. " - Murphy MacManus (Boondock Saints)

12-11-2003, 11:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
mrquackers Exhausted Location: Northeastern US - please send help!	I sit in the middle of a remote, tears streaking out of my eyes and hoping that the sounds I just made weren't too much like a whale surfacing for air. Good GOD what a funny story. I have nothing that can begin to compete. __________________ "If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

12-11-2003, 03:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
basmoq It's a girly girl! Location: OH, USA	I haven't, but my brothers an EMT, and since you mentioned them, I have a good one for you guys, though I'm in a hurry so you'll get the short version. My brother gets called into a carwash where there an unnamed incident occured. He drives up to find a girl with lacerations to the lip. What is worse, she is stuck under a steering wheel... It seems she was giving her boyfriend a BJ in the carwash when she cut her lip on his zipper, jerked her head back, and lodged it under the steering wheel!!! I have no understanding of how she got her head stuck there, but it took two guys to get her out. __________________ "There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."

12-11-2003, 04:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cycler Float on.... Alright Location: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, i.e. Oklahoma	Well I guess funny story starts while I was in college. Just got a cell phone and my favorite place to keep was in the front pocket of my sweatshirts. Well I guess while in a hurry to do laundry one day I shucked the sweatshirt directly into the washing machine without checking the pockets. Transfer wet clothes into drier. Walk away. Go back later because I hear a rather alarming rhythmic thudding. It was my cell phone, washed, dried, and dead. I pressed the power button it uttered a short squak and passed into oblivion. Bought a new one and that little lesson cost me about 250.00. I kept that second phone until just about a month ago.<p>Well I posted to the how much do you value your cell phone enough to go into the toliet thread and stated I valued it as much as my new one cost 226.00 and wouldn't go into the toliet but stated that yeah I had in fact washed one once.<p>Well fast forward to last night. I was washing jeans..<p>Surely you think not again.<p>..my new favorite place to keep the phone is in the pants pocket of my jeans. Yup wash the jeans unload and there sitting at the bottom is my new cell phone freshly cleaned. "Oh Shit!" Press the power button no response. I perform emergency surgery taking it completely apart in an attempt to save my new baby. Hour 1 I clean and dry every component, nothing. Let it sit to dry out fingers crossed. Hour 2 clean and dry every component again.... put it back together praying (I know God is laughin at this point)... nothing, damn. I plug it in again after taking it apart for a third time. See nothing for a second and then the battery charging bar flips on. IT LIVES!!! Worked fine all day today. I think the drying really does them in. Nokia 8260 one damn tough phone. Good for stupid owners. __________________ "I'm not even supposed to be here today." "I assure you we're open." Last edited by Cycler; 12-11-2003 at 04:32 PM..

12-12-2003, 12:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
analog Banned	that's a fuckin hilarious story, I damn near fell out of my chair. good post.

12-12-2003, 05:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
Sticky	<b>Cycler</b> I have heard of that happening before. Apperently all they seem to need is a little time to recouperate after the incident. __________________ Sticky The Stickman

12-12-2003, 06:06 AM	#9 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	Oh man, poor guy! At least he has a great story to tell...

12-12-2003, 06:52 AM	#10 (permalink)
rider6061 Crazy Location: oklahoma	That has to be extremely painful. Great story! __________________ Is This Thing On?

12-12-2003, 07:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	Shitted in the car one time. No, it wasn't something that scared the shit outta me it was simply not going to the bathroom before a long trip...streak_56 can collabrate that story. __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

12-12-2003, 07:52 AM	#12 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	OMFG -- can you imagine!?! *sits in the corner, holding jewels and cowering.... j/k Way too funny. I disagree with them though. What boss is going to tell you you have to come into the office after you tell them that story....? __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

12-12-2003, 08:22 AM	#13 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	Yup feelgood did shit in the Car... but damn did it ever stink. My worse is that I got my ball sac caught on a swing when I was a little kid hurt like hell but everything works fine now.

12-12-2003, 05:20 PM	#14 (permalink)
santafe5000 EVIL! Location: Southwest of nowhere	Man, what a story. I think if they found out the truth at work, I'd go looking for a new job. Makes you think about walking around naked, don't it. Never know what will happen. __________________ When all else fails, QUIT.

12-12-2003, 05:38 PM	#15 (permalink)
SiNai Dreams In Digital Location: Iowa	Way back when that first Zelda came out for Game Boy, I went to a friend's house with it in my pocket, didn't take it out when I got home, and it was washed and dried. I was sad- the label was all messed up.. But sure enough, it still worked! Fast forward a couple months, same situation, same friend, same washer and dryer. Still worked! Hardy little thing.. It must be sitting around at home somewhere.. __________________ I can't seem to remember now What it was like- to live life, before you.. symbiont

12-13-2003, 12:48 PM	#16 (permalink)
RippedSock1 Tilted	For some reason, Nintendo products are the some of the most durable electronics on earth. As a kid, I dropped an old gameboy out of a 2nd story window onto concrete. Needless to say, I was pissed. I went outside to find the reminants of my poor gameboy... and it was whole. NOTHING BROKE. A booted it up and I played games just like normal.

12-13-2003, 08:13 PM	#17 (permalink)
Akira Crazy	Yeah Nintendo products don't break so easily, except for those battery covers on the GameBoys, always ended up breaking those. On topic, man that has to hurt a cat going for the jewels. Ouch. __________________ -signature

12-13-2003, 08:30 PM	#18 (permalink)
PredeconInferno Reclusiarch Location: Unfortunately Houston, TX	You see... never leave dangling objects by a kitty... OMG that's terrible... just imagining those needle sharp claws buried... I'm done. /stops __________________ Samurai in Training Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

12-14-2003, 01:57 PM	#19 (permalink)
gonadman Psycho Location: Philly	I had a similiar experience many years ago. The short- new husky pup, and my GF and I in front of a sliding patio glass door. The pup went for the dangling toys(we were, of course going doggie style) and the sensation of teeth closing in on my manhood as well as the unexpected cold wet nose up my butt almost launched me through the glass door! __________________ For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel, looking, looking, ...breathlessly. -Carlos Castaneda

12-21-2003, 09:19 PM	#20 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	I can tell you right now, and with complete candor....if I had a cat that did that, I'd be wokking the cat as soon as I could move again! Yes, I spelled it right. Taking the cat for a wok. You know, they taste like chicken if you get the batter right!

12-30-2003, 12:37 PM	#22 (permalink)
InTeGrA77 Psycho Location: the tangent universe	damn cat...that even made me cringe, and i'm a girl! __________________ 28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

12-31-2003, 12:57 PM	#25 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Man, that was a funny ass story, thanks for sharing!

12-31-2003, 01:13 PM	#26 (permalink)
Amethyst Addict Location: Illinois	That is so funny I am laughing out loud. I have a funny story about my husband that happened last week but I would have to ask him permission before I told it.

01-01-2004, 07:40 AM	#27 (permalink)
TheBrit Psycho	I got a fairly embarrasing one. I had an operation when I was 13, it involved taking my left ball out, removing something from it and putting it back in. Still numb on the left side of my groin, scar that girls ask about when visiting and it was bruised for about 3 years after. Anyway. I came round after the operation to find a nurse fiddling around with some stitches down there, she was very professional and all, I was in too much pain to be aroused or anything so it all happened without incident. But I swore I recognised her. About two or three months later I start dating a girl that I had been meeting up with casually since before the operation. I think you can guess the ending to this one. We are on the sofa, I have my arm round her watching a film and her mum comes in. Same woman. I had told the girl everything about the operation, I had to because I couldn't do anything with my bits for about 6 months after the operation because of the pain. And to top it all off, the nurse told my girlfriend about it.

01-01-2004, 10:55 AM	#28 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I'm not sure if I told this before -- but it is my most embarrassing moment and I think it is funny. I was 19 and working in downtown Seattle. To get to the bus every morning, I had to walk down a very busy 7 lane highway during rush hour. One morning, as I'm walking, a car full of Mexican men pulls up beside me. One man leans out and says, "the back, the back, you get in the back." Being the strong woman that I am, I put my hands on my hips, chin in the air and walk off saying, "I will not get in the back of your car, you leave me alone." They creep up beside me and repeat, "the back, the back, you get the back." Again, I walk off, saying more firmly, "I will not get in the back of your car, leave me alone." Of course, my heart is racing by then! They inch up beside me again. This time a different man speaks. He says, "No, the back, you look at the back." Somehow he got me to look back to find my skirt and slip tucked into my panties and my bare butt exposed for all the traffic to see! I didn't tell that story for over 3 years I was so embarrassed! Now it is a favorite memory. It feels good to laugh at myself. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.