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-   -   Are there any happily married men? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/3383-there-any-happily-married-men.html)

eyeronic 04-28-2003 10:31 AM

Are there any happily married men?
 
I've been seriously considering proposing to my girlfriend in the near future and I need to hear some "happily married" stories pretty bad.

Hycdubg 04-28-2003 10:45 AM

I'm happily married. Going on 2 years in August.Best choice I could have ever made.

Daval 04-28-2003 10:47 AM

My wife is a very good person and is a very good mother of our two children. But I'm not happy and havnt been for years. (married 5 years). There is no sex-life. :( It's just not important to her, never has been., I figured when we got married I'd be able to change that.

eyeronic 04-28-2003 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Daval
My wife is a very good person and is a very good mother of our two children. But I'm not happy and havnt been for years. (married 5 years). There is no sex-life. :( It's just not important to her, never has been., I figured when we got married I'd be able to change that.
If it never has been important to her, then it's tough to think marriage would help things along. Sometimes women can warm up over the years. You should go to counseling. She might have some issues in her past which make her uncomforrtable about intimacy.
Quote:

Originally posted by Hycdubg
I'm happily married. Going on 2 years in August.Best choice I could have ever made.
Thanks Hycdub, that's what I'm talking about. Now if you could give me any specifics about why it's better than just dating, I'd be much oblidged.

Mango 04-28-2003 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Daval
I figured when we got married I'd be able to change that.
Fool

phoenix1002 04-28-2003 10:51 AM

As far as I know, my parents are both happy. Going on 30 years now, and I don't think my dad has any regrets...

eyeronic 04-28-2003 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mango
Fool
Don't be cruel Mango, the man is living in pure hell already. His story serves to help the rest of us. Even geniuses have been known to make mistakes when women are involved.

Mango 04-28-2003 10:56 AM

I've been married for 10 years. Still happy although the sex is gettiing to be less htan it once was but what can you expect when we both work full time and have 3 kids.

Lebell 04-28-2003 10:58 AM

Here is the best free advice that that you'll ever get:

Yes, you can be happily married, but it requires work on both your parts. The more communication and work you're willing to put into your relationship, the happier it will be.


Best of luck to you.

oscar0308 04-28-2003 11:04 AM

although only my first anniverary is next sunday i am happier in my life than i have ever been. i was married previously for 4 years and although i cant say i was miserable, i definitely wasnt happy. i was existing. i wasnt interested in anything but work.. now i work my required hours and i have anything extra to do i try and do it at home with family. i wont lie and say its been easy because there have been alot of hard times. she's moved far away form her family for us to be together.. we each have children from our previous marriages.. and we havent had the support of everyone. all through that though we know that we did the best thing we could have for each everyone involved.

the best part of my life now is the time i get to spend with my family. to come home to see my wife's smiling face.. to hear the excitement in my (step)kids voices as they tell me how their day was.. the comfort and peace i feel as i hug my wife. its all been worth the hell i've gone through and i wouldnt give it up for anything.

World's King 04-28-2003 11:33 AM

Only if he has a widow.

Daval 04-28-2003 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eyeronic
If it never has been important to her, then it's tough to think marriage would help things along. Sometimes women can warm up over the years. You should go to counseling. She might have some issues in her past which make her uncomforrtable about intimacy.


She does indeed have issues from the past. Had an abusive relationship for a long time before me.

Go_AVS 04-28-2003 12:12 PM

aren't they opposites, Happy and Married? I think happy marriages are an urban legend...

Met22 04-28-2003 12:28 PM

I am very happy. She is the most wonderful woman alive. I was married before and while it was never horrible there was always something missing or rather I wasn't happy. She was and still is a wonderful mother to our kids and that is something special too.

No easy answers to finding happiness but you just try the best you can and sometimes it works out.

Sparky 04-28-2003 12:29 PM

I've been happily married for almost 6 years now. We met in the 8th grade and dated all through high school and got married in college. We've been together now 14 years, married for 6. Marriage does take work & communication, but if you truly love the person it will all work itself out.
Good luck to you.

Craven Morehead 04-28-2003 12:33 PM

Sure, I'm happy, just ask my wife.

Hycdubg 04-28-2003 01:17 PM

Some of it is tough to explain, and may be different for you, but here are a few:

1. The sex is better. Maybe there isn't a newness factor like when you were dating, but it is still great. You learn each other, your likes and dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs. Being married solidifies your whole relationship, including this aspect.

2. It is a chance to share your life with that person. Dating, IMO, is training for marriage. When you share your life (i.e. your money, mind, soul and body), it is something that is very special. That might sound sappy, but it is true. Doing this will help you develop a deeper respect for each other.

3. Your car insurance goes down.

4. Your income tax refund is higher.

5. Your credit rating instantly goes up.

6. Like Oscar said, it gives you a reason and purpose to do what you do. Sooner or later, being single becomes very lonely and there just isn't anything left to do.

When you are married, you will always be able to see things that are wrong with your mate. You will argue, if you don't, there is something wrong with you or you both are repressing way too much crap and you both will blow up sooner or later. These things are normal. You have to just make that decision to stick it out and get through it.

There are a lot more reasons, but I surf the TFP at work and have limited time. Maybe someone could expound on this? Hope this helps dude.

ratbastid 04-28-2003 01:20 PM

I'm VERY happily married, and the sex is red-hot.

It's been eight-almost-nine years.

mongo 04-28-2003 01:22 PM

My wife and I are going on 6 years now.It's not always easy or a bed of roses but we're happy.So the answer would be "Yes",I am happily married.

sixate 04-28-2003 01:46 PM

Get a prenup just to cover your ass.

*nearly 55% of all marriages end in divorce*

Mango 04-28-2003 01:55 PM

The shortest sentence in the english language is, "I am."
The longest sentence in the english language is, "I do."
Good luck man.

Mango 04-28-2003 01:56 PM

60% of all marriages end in divorce. But it beats the alternative.

zf0enix 04-28-2003 02:09 PM

Yes, but there're both gay.

zf0enix 04-28-2003 02:12 PM

J/k bro. There are plenty of happily married men, and Met22 is the king of them all.

Grothendieck 04-28-2003 02:43 PM

I personally don't believe in mariage. This is not at all to say that I don't believe in long-term relationships. Quite the opposite. But from what I've heard, there is a certain danger of getting too used with your wife or husband. But that's probably just a personal issue, and may change in time.
I'm pretty sure you know you love your woman and you wouldn't be thinking about proposing if you don't really feel safe about it. So go ahead! And have fun...

JangoFett72 04-28-2003 08:01 PM

Its been seven years going on eight for my wife and I and sure there were low spots, but I have to say that I am very happy. I agree with lebell and sparky that it requires good lines of communication on both parts. (The old cliche about not going to bed angry is a good one too!)

SaltPork 04-28-2003 08:27 PM

Been married for almost 10 years, I have two beautiful girls and the most caring, loving wife. She is my everything. We've never had any real arguments, just stupid stuff that's patched up in less than the time it took to argue about it. She's wonderful.

Mondak 04-28-2003 08:35 PM

I am on board. I have been in this thing formally (married) for 2.5 years now. Couple things to check on before jumping in

1. Communication - If you have to lie to buy parts for your Land Rover or Mountain Bike b/c you are afraid of what will happen to you if you told her that you just wanted the parts. Bad sign. If you feel like you can discuss anything (I mean anything) with no fear of retrobution or losing the "upper hand" - good sign. Can't have too much in this catagory.

2. Don't think you are going to change anything - hopefully you will draw closer over time, but don't count on it in any area. In fact, count on any negatives you don't like getting worse only in your calculation of whether or not to get married.

3. Make sure she is not counting on changing you in any areas. Maybe through #1 you can draw closer and be more sensitive to each other's concerns, but if she is going to try to be even a little controling - call it off and give it some time. (run)

Don't ever settle.

mjby2 04-28-2003 09:27 PM

Early on my wife expected me to conform to her expectations. Needles to say it has not been a very happy marriage.
There are some people who marry successfully and I envy them.
Good luck.

Drider_it 04-28-2003 09:37 PM

been married going on 7 years now this december..

we have three wonderful children..
reasons..

someone to confide in.. share your hopes and dreams.. but a tip.. dont unload everything on her... take it easy..

taxes.. we get like 5k a year back in taxes due to marrage and three kids.. its a perk

sex yeah there is but we didnt base our relationship around it dateing so its as special now as when we first got married

2 incomes means more money comeing in.. sure you dont see each other as much but the perk is when you do its more special

bigger house.. more room

new peps to be around.. hopfully cool

in my case my inlaws are great and they love me like a son more at times than their two boys

eyeronic 04-28-2003 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Met22
I am very happy. She is the most wonderful woman alive. I was married before and while it was never horrible there was always something missing or rather I wasn't happy. She was and still is a wonderful mother to our kids and that is something special too.

No easy answers to finding happiness but you just try the best you can and sometimes it works out.

I don't think any one who's seen your posts would think you have an unhappy marriage. You are a role model for the rest of us.:p

hotzot 04-28-2003 10:48 PM

Married for 23 years, we fight, we fuck, good days , bad days wouldn't give her up for all the gold in China. I love her!

World's King 04-28-2003 10:52 PM

Did no one like my dead husband joke?

alpha phi 04-29-2003 04:05 AM

I am very happy with my marriage!!!!!
almost 3 years and have never regreted it!
my life is far better than I have ever imanaged it could be.
if you know in your mind, and in your heart she's the one....
go for it!!

MrFlux 04-29-2003 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by World's King
Did no one like my dead husband joke?
Hehe good joke I'm just too fucken dumb and it was way above me until you mentioned it :(

platypus 04-29-2003 05:50 AM

Been married almost 13 years. This the third one for me. Think I got it right this time. Wouldn't change a thing.

bullgoose 04-29-2003 06:33 AM

35 years, hate every second, but I'm just too old to change things now; I'm bitter and disheartened, so I'm NOT a good person to ask about marrage.

Cynthetiq 04-29-2003 06:54 AM

been married for a little less than 1.5 years... I LOVE MY WIFE!!! We've had some hardships the first year... like getting laid off 3 times, being unemployed for a good stretch, getting hospitalized 3 times, misc. arguments...

but i love seeing her as the last thing before i close my eyes, and then i love opening my eyes and seeing her for the first thing of the day.

Liquor Dealer 04-29-2003 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lebell
Here is the best free advice that that you'll ever get:

Yes, you can be happily married, but it requires work on both your parts. The more communication and work you're willing to put into your relationship, the happier it will be.

Best of luck to you.

My wife and I have been married since 1967. If my math is correct that is about 36 years. Have they been a glorious 36 years of total bliss? No. I don't think you'll ever find any couple that have been married for anytime that do not have good days and days that are not so good. Marriage is a partnership and you get out of it the exact same thing you get from any partnership - when both parties are trying to make it great, it's great. If one is not doing their share it causes bumps in the road - sometimes big bumps. When both quit trying to make it work it is over. Marriage isn't perfect - My wife isn't perfect! I'm perfect! Right! We work at being us. We have been us for a long time and will probably be us until the very end. Marriage is what you make of it - just like any other agreement between two people - Like an old song says - "that's the story of...that's the glory of love".

Charlatan 04-29-2003 07:26 AM

June 4th will be my 10 year anniversary...

I would say that I am as happily married as one can be...

We have two kids (8 years and 6 months), have good lines of communication and still have great sex...

Like most things in life marriage does take work. There is a lot of compromising and patience but again, this is true of most things in life.

If you are happy in your current relationship (and you are being totally honest with yourself about that happiness) then I would say why not get married.


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