Are there any happily married men?
 

I've been seriously considering proposing to my girlfriend in the near future and I need to hear some "happily married" stories pretty bad.

I'm happily married. Going on 2 years in August.Best choice I could have ever made.

My wife is a very good person and is a very good mother of our two children. But I'm not happy and havnt been for years. (married 5 years). There is no sex-life. :( It's just not important to her, never has been., I figured when we got married I'd be able to change that.

If it never has been important to her, then it's tough to think marriage would help things along. Sometimes women can warm up over the years. You should go to counseling. She might have some issues in her past which make her uncomforrtable about intimacy.
Thanks Hycdub, that's what I'm talking about. Now if you could give me any specifics about why it's better than just dating, I'd be much oblidged.

Fool

As far as I know, my parents are both happy. Going on 30 years now, and I don't think my dad has any regrets...

Don't be cruel Mango, the man is living in pure hell already. His story serves to help the rest of us. Even geniuses have been known to make mistakes when women are involved.

I've been married for 10 years. Still happy although the sex is gettiing to be less htan it once was but what can you expect when we both work full time and have 3 kids.

Here is the best free advice that that you'll ever get:

Yes, you can be happily married, but it requires work on both your parts. The more communication and work you're willing to put into your relationship, the happier it will be.


Best of luck to you.

although only my first anniverary is next sunday i am happier in my life than i have ever been. i was married previously for 4 years and although i cant say i was miserable, i definitely wasnt happy. i was existing. i wasnt interested in anything but work.. now i work my required hours and i have anything extra to do i try and do it at home with family. i wont lie and say its been easy because there have been alot of hard times. she's moved far away form her family for us to be together.. we each have children from our previous marriages.. and we havent had the support of everyone. all through that though we know that we did the best thing we could have for each everyone involved.

the best part of my life now is the time i get to spend with my family. to come home to see my wife's smiling face.. to hear the excitement in my (step)kids voices as they tell me how their day was.. the comfort and peace i feel as i hug my wife. its all been worth the hell i've gone through and i wouldnt give it up for anything.

Only if he has a widow.

She does indeed have issues from the past. Had an abusive relationship for a long time before me.

aren't they opposites, Happy and Married? I think happy marriages are an urban legend...

I am very happy. She is the most wonderful woman alive. I was married before and while it was never horrible there was always something missing or rather I wasn't happy. She was and still is a wonderful mother to our kids and that is something special too.

No easy answers to finding happiness but you just try the best you can and sometimes it works out.

I've been happily married for almost 6 years now. We met in the 8th grade and dated all through high school and got married in college. We've been together now 14 years, married for 6. Marriage does take work & communication, but if you truly love the person it will all work itself out.
Good luck to you.

Sure, I'm happy, just ask my wife.

Some of it is tough to explain, and may be different for you, but here are a few:

1. The sex is better. Maybe there isn't a newness factor like when you were dating, but it is still great. You learn each other, your likes and dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs. Being married solidifies your whole relationship, including this aspect.

2. It is a chance to share your life with that person. Dating, IMO, is training for marriage. When you share your life (i.e. your money, mind, soul and body), it is something that is very special. That might sound sappy, but it is true. Doing this will help you develop a deeper respect for each other.

3. Your car insurance goes down.

4. Your income tax refund is higher.

5. Your credit rating instantly goes up.

6. Like Oscar said, it gives you a reason and purpose to do what you do. Sooner or later, being single becomes very lonely and there just isn't anything left to do.

When you are married, you will always be able to see things that are wrong with your mate. You will argue, if you don't, there is something wrong with you or you both are repressing way too much crap and you both will blow up sooner or later. These things are normal. You have to just make that decision to stick it out and get through it.

There are a lot more reasons, but I surf the TFP at work and have limited time. Maybe someone could expound on this? Hope this helps dude.

I'm VERY happily married, and the sex is red-hot.

It's been eight-almost-nine years.

My wife and I are going on 6 years now.It's not always easy or a bed of roses but we're happy.So the answer would be "Yes",I am happily married.

Get a prenup just to cover your ass.

*nearly 55% of all marriages end in divorce*

The shortest sentence in the english language is, "I am."
The longest sentence in the english language is, "I do."
Good luck man.

60% of all marriages end in divorce. But it beats the alternative.

Yes, but there're both gay.

J/k bro. There are plenty of happily married men, and Met22 is the king of them all.

I personally don't believe in mariage. This is not at all to say that I don't believe in long-term relationships. Quite the opposite. But from what I've heard, there is a certain danger of getting too used with your wife or husband. But that's probably just a personal issue, and may change in time.
I'm pretty sure you know you love your woman and you wouldn't be thinking about proposing if you don't really feel safe about it. So go ahead! And have fun...

Its been seven years going on eight for my wife and I and sure there were low spots, but I have to say that I am very happy. I agree with lebell and sparky that it requires good lines of communication on both parts. (The old cliche about not going to bed angry is a good one too!)

Been married for almost 10 years, I have two beautiful girls and the most caring, loving wife. She is my everything. We've never had any real arguments, just stupid stuff that's patched up in less than the time it took to argue about it. She's wonderful.

I am on board. I have been in this thing formally (married) for 2.5 years now. Couple things to check on before jumping in

1. Communication - If you have to lie to buy parts for your Land Rover or Mountain Bike b/c you are afraid of what will happen to you if you told her that you just wanted the parts. Bad sign. If you feel like you can discuss anything (I mean anything) with no fear of retrobution or losing the "upper hand" - good sign. Can't have too much in this catagory.

2. Don't think you are going to change anything - hopefully you will draw closer over time, but don't count on it in any area. In fact, count on any negatives you don't like getting worse only in your calculation of whether or not to get married.

3. Make sure she is not counting on changing you in any areas. Maybe through #1 you can draw closer and be more sensitive to each other's concerns, but if she is going to try to be even a little controling - call it off and give it some time. (run)

Don't ever settle.

Early on my wife expected me to conform to her expectations. Needles to say it has not been a very happy marriage.
There are some people who marry successfully and I envy them.
Good luck.

been married going on 7 years now this december..

we have three wonderful children..
reasons..

someone to confide in.. share your hopes and dreams.. but a tip.. dont unload everything on her... take it easy..

taxes.. we get like 5k a year back in taxes due to marrage and three kids.. its a perk

sex yeah there is but we didnt base our relationship around it dateing so its as special now as when we first got married

2 incomes means more money comeing in.. sure you dont see each other as much but the perk is when you do its more special

bigger house.. more room

new peps to be around.. hopfully cool

in my case my inlaws are great and they love me like a son more at times than their two boys

I don't think any one who's seen your posts would think you have an unhappy marriage. You are a role model for the rest of us.:p

Married for 23 years, we fight, we fuck, good days , bad days wouldn't give her up for all the gold in China. I love her!

Did no one like my dead husband joke?

I am very happy with my marriage!!!!!
almost 3 years and have never regreted it!
my life is far better than I have ever imanaged it could be.
if you know in your mind, and in your heart she's the one....
go for it!!

Hehe good joke I'm just too fucken dumb and it was way above me until you mentioned it :(

Been married almost 13 years. This the third one for me. Think I got it right this time. Wouldn't change a thing.

35 years, hate every second, but I'm just too old to change things now; I'm bitter and disheartened, so I'm NOT a good person to ask about marrage.

been married for a little less than 1.5 years... I LOVE MY WIFE!!! We've had some hardships the first year... like getting laid off 3 times, being unemployed for a good stretch, getting hospitalized 3 times, misc. arguments...

but i love seeing her as the last thing before i close my eyes, and then i love opening my eyes and seeing her for the first thing of the day.

My wife and I have been married since 1967. If my math is correct that is about 36 years. Have they been a glorious 36 years of total bliss? No. I don't think you'll ever find any couple that have been married for anytime that do not have good days and days that are not so good. Marriage is a partnership and you get out of it the exact same thing you get from any partnership - when both parties are trying to make it great, it's great. If one is not doing their share it causes bumps in the road - sometimes big bumps. When both quit trying to make it work it is over. Marriage isn't perfect - My wife isn't perfect! I'm perfect! Right! We work at being us. We have been us for a long time and will probably be us until the very end. Marriage is what you make of it - just like any other agreement between two people - Like an old song says - "that's the story of...that's the glory of love".

June 4th will be my 10 year anniversary...

I would say that I am as happily married as one can be...

We have two kids (8 years and 6 months), have good lines of communication and still have great sex...

Like most things in life marriage does take work. There is a lot of compromising and patience but again, this is true of most things in life.

If you are happy in your current relationship (and you are being totally honest with yourself about that happiness) then I would say why not get married.

Once again, I agree with Liquor Dealer. Rather than trying to rewrite what he said in my own words, let me give you two examples of good marriages -

1) my folks. Mariied since 1965 or so. They are best freinds and having adventures together. Thery are very much in love.

2) My wife and me. Married 8 years. Sometimes its not easy, but its definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I can't add much to the honest testimonials already given, but I would like to add my voice to the happily married men of this community. The three most important elements of my marriage = honesty, communication, and respect. I wouldn't trade her for anything - after all, she puts up with me, and that's saying a lot.

My answer will be similar to Liquor Dealer's since my wife and I also got married in 1967. In those 36 years there have been good times and bad. We fought, loved and have remained best friends during that period.

Once word of advice: Expect to work at making the marriage work. Marriage is not a relationship that just works because you love each other at the time of the ceremony. For me it has been the most serious relationship that I ever committed to. We made a choice to spend our lives together. We have had to work to make sure it happened. We've managed through 2 children and a bankruptcy. Now we're into 3 grandchildren and still working on our relationship.

BTW, I am not surprised to see the skeptical voices here too. If it doesn't work, it can do really ugly things to your life. You need to be aware of the chances you're taking.

It's your decision as to whether it is worth the effort you'll need to put in and the risks that you are taking. All I can say is I wouldn't have changed my decision for anything in the world.

Uh, you're not married if you're wife's a corpse, WK. Then again, maybe that is the best kind of marriage... ...if you're a sick fucking necrophiliac.

Damn, I think World's King fucks dead people.

You should really get help for that, buddy.

Also, it seems to be a dead wife joke, not a dead husband joke.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/avatar....ine=1051661596=[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TwDjAuQYFvxa2TIIpZOmfUVjwfKWr9ITK0UWoGpiccl9kyfl5X1SbC2g6ZqoEaqRUG0UMeq*1FCTWKg3HxeoaavyUZ9G4NpKSRTEEC*zRajrGJrC*3l8cw/handicapped250.jpg?dc=4675419860199271247[/img]

yes sometimes

My wife and I have been happily married for 15 years (16 years Aug. 1). We haven't had any serious problems to speak of, and unlike a lot of married people we know we can actually stand the sight of each other.

One thing I would advise is to do some serious soul searching about the nature of your relationship. Is it mostly a sexual attraction, or is this someone you would enjoy being with even if there was no possibility of sex? Looks fade, sexual attraction fades, and the frequency of sex itself is likely to diminish as the years go by. I think a lot of marriages go bad when all that stuff starts to fade away and people realize that just because they had the hots for each other at one time didn't necessarily mean they were compatible for a lifetime of marriage. It sounds corny but it's really true -- the best marriages really are based primarily on friendship.

This is so true! I agree 100%. My marriage sucks and I have two children. I love her and I have no idea how to fix my marriage. She does not communicate with me well. Good marriage take a lot of work!!!:(

It sounds like you're living my life...there was a time, prekids, when we could communicate. For some reason I think Barney and/or the Teletubbies have this "melting" effect on the adult brain.
But I couldn't agree with you any more, it takes a lot of work and twice as much patience

So here's another question:

How do you avoid letting kids ruin your marriage?

I have to voice loud, boisterous, obnoxious disagreement with this. I used to believe it too - used to think that people who said "we don't fight" were full of shit. Not true.

My 2nd wedding anniversary will be in September. We started dating in May of '99. We have never, I repeat NEVER had a fight (or an argument or whatever you want to call it).

We disagree, to be sure, but I've never said something I regretted enough that one statement (apology, explanation) didn't correct the situation.

Never.

Don't believe this crap about 'well, you'll argue from time to time, just get used to it' because it's not true. Not to say that there's anything wrong with it, mind you, just that it's not a requirement.

And one piece of advice/experience: One key to a happy, succesful relationship is to do the work on yourself you need to do and encourage your partner to do the same. Two whole, complete, happy people create a whole, complete, happy relationship. Therapy is good.

BWAAAHAHAHAHA!

Classic WK humor! And it is a JOKE (funny as hell, I might add).

eyeronic,

Main Entry: 1wid·ow
Pronunciation: 'wi-(")dO
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English widewe, from Old English wuduwe; akin to Old High German wituwa widow, Latin vidua, Sanskrit vidhavA, Latin -videre to separate
Date: before 12th century
1 a : a woman who has lost her husband by death and usually has not remarried

I think this reads dead 'husband'.

I won't try to explain the rest of the joke.

I have been happily married for 6 years this July. This has been the best 6 years of my life. My birthday is July 13th (Thursday, not Friday) My wifs is July 11th. Our anniversary is on July 12th. This makes us both Cancers. Our household is what I lovingly call an emotional shipwreck. When we fight, it is with a fervor that is extreme to say the least. We never get abusive in our fights, we keep it on the level of venting our frustrations. When we LOVE!!!! Well, going into detail on that would turn this post into a trashy romantic novel.

The important thing that my wife and I learned was that you cannot expect to change something about the other person. If there are unresolved problems when you go into a marriage, these problems will go and fester like an untreated infection. Solve the problems when they come up. Compromise, that is the most important thing to remember. You both have to compromise. If you have strong doubts before you get married, then there are unresolved issues. Solve them or do not get married.

I hope this will help.

Enjoy

I have been married for only 2 years, but I must admit I am VERY HAPPY.

I was very happy just dating and having flings, but you can't do that forever. I think I have gotten all those wild urges out of my system now....

I think that you should get married once you can look back and not feel like you missed out on something. This is when you are ready to settle down...

just my 2 cents....

Damn! My son and my two grandsons are what have made life worth living for us. I can't possibly see how kids could ruin a marriage. I believe that some people have children thinking that it will hold a marriage together that is in the process of going down the tubes - In this instance you have one naive person breeding a stupid person and the result is going to be a child that neither one of them want - don't do that to a child. If you both don't want children - or if you honestly believe that "kids ruin your marriage" do the whole world a favor - don't have any.

00

I'm going on twenty years, raised three kids got one back with child, oh well.

sex is rare but still feels great. I want it once a day she wants it once a month. go figure.

The day before we were married in 1983 was my last BLOWJOB!

No no no, kids don't ruin a marriage. I love my kids and I love my wife, at this moment in time we are living in different "worlds" so we are both having some problems w/ our communication.
I work full time and she works double full time at home w/ the kids. And you shouldn't make the children think that they are the problem, I lived w/ that for years after my parents divorced, having them fight back and forth (for a good 24+ years) until I realized that everything was their own damage..
Now my sister-in-law, who was (and still is) having problems in her marriage decided that if she had a child everything in the world would be set right. She didn't understand that kids are not some magical solution, that they both actually needed to work out their problems; now it looks like she maybe staying at my house this summer...oh lord help me.

Without the kids I don't know if we would have had a marriage. It was only when the kids left that we discovered that they were about all we had in common.

Man, you can't beat kids, well you can but you shouldn't. They are an amazing addition to your life.

My parents were married almost 30 years before my father died. My mother loved him through a lot of stuff (including being paralyzed).
I was married before, but it didn't work (I wanted a military life, she didn't; irony - Clinton's cutbacks cost me my career [too late]). There have been ups and downs, until I've met my latest (going on 3 years).
You want to ask other's advice; but here's the thing: How do YOU honestly feel about her? Do you honestly love each other?That last question is the only one that matters. I'm not saying you can't look-that's natural. But at the end of it all - do you truly want to be together?

Although I am a serious romantic at heart and would gladly marry (hard part is finding that significant other) I think this sums it up for me.....
A little girl is attending a wedding with her parents.
"Mommy why is the bride wearing white?" she asks
"That's because it's the happiest day of her life." is the reply.
"Then why is the groom wearing black?"

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm....

Going on three years, and there is no way I could possibly be any happier. She's my best pal, and somehow it takes no effort for either of us - it's a neat little dovetail thing we have going on. Good luck eyeronic.

I am an idiot.

i've been married for 2 years now. the best thing that happened to me.

small tip: don't make the mistake to think you can change your or her behavior. that will never happen.

I'm happily married. Of course we all have our "what were you thinking when you did that" moments but hey. No complaints here.

OK that makes me and I'm sure very many other people very envious! There seem to be so many people in marriages where companionship, enjoyment of the company and generally everything is great except for the sex. I've been looking around on the web for a while and cant find any forums where there are loads of people, like yourself, saying that they are in long term (over 4 years) happy marriages where the sex is "red hot" - I really need to know more about this - what does "red hot" mean to you? How are you managing not to get bored with the same person every day? What do you do to keep the interest up? Please give us some clues so we may all benefit from your good fortune.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - great book that saved my relationship.

Been together since 1996 - married since 2004. There are always ups and downs. Good times and bad.
First kid - 6 months ago. Best thing that's ever happened to me. It's a happy life as long as the communication is good. It's a horrible life when the communication breaks down. Just keep up the talking and the sex life, and all will be well. :)

without reading previous responses I will say that Yes, I am a happily married man. My wife is incredibly understanding and the person I trust most in this world

I've been happily married for over 10 years. Of course, I've been married for 29 years in total.... that's the joke.

Seriously, after 29 + years, I am very happy to be married to QW, and she claims to feel the same about me. It hasn't all been roses and red hot sex, but there has been quite a bit of that. And, she's my very best friend and strongest supporter. I love her more than I ever believed I had to give.

It all clicked when I abandoned my selfishness. Until then, I can't say whether I was truly committed. I often wondered why I wasn't getting what I thought I wanted and deserved out of marriage. Sex was about me, money was about me, everything was me, me, me. I was emotionally immature and I'm lucky QW stuck with me until I grew up. Now, together, we have as much fun and joy as we can handle... plus some red hot sex... maybe not quite as frequently as when we were younger, but it's still there when we want it:thumbsup:

It's easy to start out feeling happy about being married. Long term shared happiness is something you grow into.

It's not marriage that ruins your life, it's kids. ;)

Is it just me or did this topic get picked back up 5 and a half years later?

"My Old Lady" and I just celebrated 42 years.....wow!

xoxoxoo

Not just you. And he did it by quoting me, and I have NO idea where to start to respond to his question.

I'm pretty sure your idea of "red hot" would burn many with jealousy.

Been with my wife for 11 years now and wouldn't change a thing. She is a terrific mother, a wonderful wife, and a great friend. We do everything together whenever we can. You know the old saying that two people can't be together 24/7 and make it work? Well me and my wife worked together in the same dealership, drove to work together, home together, interracted 24/7 for 3 years, and the only thing that we both agree sucks right now, is my NEW job won't hire married couples. We LOVED being together all that time. We laugh, we cry together....we talk....and we talk about EVERYTHING. even if one of us does something that might upset the other we talk about it. We never go to bed angry (though there have been a few nights we never slept working everything out!) I couldn't imagine a life without her in it. So yes, you CAN be happy even after many years of being together. But it won't come without compromises and commuication.

Are there any happy couples full stop?
Are there any happy people?

I think the answer is yes - but some people will never really be happy, together or alone.

Strange Famous has got it right.
There are some people will NEVER be happy. Some, I suspect, don't really want to be. I have a cousin who is like that. She has a cynical, negative, angry,:mad: attitude about everything, and I think actually RESENTS seeing others who are happy. It's unfortunate when someone like that marries and drags another person down to his or her level of unhappiness.:shakehead:

Lindy

Necromany is actually fairly common at TFP compared to most other places I visit, and mostly ignored. It kind of bewilders me xD. Glad to see that I'm not the only one going o_O over it xD

<meta>Most TFP necro falls into two categories: Google searches by n00bs (tfp is quite highly ranked), who register to comment, without noticing the date, or board searches by members, who bump out of nostalgia</meta>

On topic, I'm happily married. The secret is picking the right wife. Open and honest communication is key, cliche cliche cliche. Seriously though, make sure you get along with her family and she gets along with yours--you can 'lie' about who you really are for quite a long time in a dating relationship but your family will always 'betray' you. How someone has treated and treats the people she already has had life long relationships with (parents/siblings/cousins) is probably an accurate barometer for what you're in for.

I'm happily married and my wife wants sex even more often than I do.

The point being that we are encouraged to *search* for pre-existing threads rather than create new ones. It's happened to me on more than one occasion that the searched for thread is long dormant. But hey, why are they kept around if they cannot be referred to. It makes the convesation relevant.

On Topic: yes very happy, with the usual relationship bumps. 23 years now, on top of 4 yrs of dating. And yes, the sex is excellent. red hot sometimes, but mainly wonderful. The baby years were a challenge, but mostly due to tiredness.

I'd be interested to see if any of the original posting members (2003ish) who are still around still feel the way they did -- 6 years can change a lot. :)

14 + years of marriage, and I'm happier with it now than I was in 2003. I've almost always been happier with her than I would be without her.

In April 2003 when this was posted, I would have answered:

Yes, I'm happily married, we have our ups and downs, and like everyone we fight from time to time, but I'm glad we did it.

In July 2003 I found out about her affair, and kicked her out.

In 2004 I met my current wife, and realised that what I'd had previously was a pale shadow of a good marriage, and that I had not been happy at all for many reasons.

In 2008, having married almost 3 years ago, after my divorce came through, I would say that I am certainly happy, and know what a good marriage should be, finally.

Also, having seen my ex-wife destroy the relationship she left me for by cheating on her boyfriend, I have realised that most of the problems in my first marriage came from her (or me not noticing her duplicity and faithlessness)

Been pretty happy for the last 7 years, yes.

I love my life and my wife! 4 year now and still going strong. Not a single complaint.

Been happily married for 9 years, at the end of this month. In fact we were happy for the 7 years prior to us getting married as well.

7 years in just a couple of weeks. :) I love being married to this woman. We connect so well.

It would be interesting to see eyeronic's post 5 1/2 years later, to see how this turned out for him.

We're approaching our 23rd WA, & were exclusive for around two years prior to getting married.

As many others have posted......we've had our share of ups & downs, but overall I'm a happily married man.

Not happily married, sorry to bring this thread down. After 2 1/2 years, there's a lot of bitterness already. I don't think this will last much longer. Although I do love her a lot, and the thought of losing her sucks immensely, I don't think we work well together.

Ditto

Will be married 10 years in June!

We have our good days and bad. She is starting to warm up to sex more and more... We argue a bit but like most couples about little things or at least semi-little things use to be mostly about money but now the kids are coming into the arguing too... but I have to say I am happy, they always say the grass is greener on the other side, but I hate to think where I would be without her.

here's a different post: i'm engaged....I'm happily engaged, but I worry every day about the coin-flip divorce rate...a divorce would be absolutely awful and we've gone through so many terrible things already. and for those couples who've been through a lot...believe me I know. Your troubles are hard... well ours damn sure are too and we've survived so far...sometimes I feel like no matter what awful things happen we make it through...so...even though I'm not officially married yet I'd say 5 years and going strong. take your problems and add....nvm for now PM for details but trust me. The question...any happily married men? I am a man and I look forward to be happily married. Not happily married...yet...but definitely happily engaged. after having dated since july 2003.

Happily married for 2 months, 18 days. Sure, it hasn't been that long, but I believe we've got a solid foundation.

And I'm happier than a pig in shit. :)

coming up on our 12 year anniversary. the first few years were tough (we were really young and fought a lot.....many probably would have gotten divorced in our situation but we're both stubborn :) ) but now it's great.