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-   -   Lies. (Now with poll!) (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/30517-lies-now-poll.html)

Thraeryn 10-07-2003 06:03 AM

Lies. (Now with poll!)
 
Is there anyone out there in our great community that enjoys lying as much as I do?

Lying is one of the few challenging things in my life. It takes creativity and intelligence. It takes a knowledge of how people think and behave. A good lie can be the result of extensive planning, or it can be an amazingly quick-minded response to awkwardness. A lie is a victory of your will over another's, imposing upon them what you want reality to be. Good lies are almost a legacy, stretching on into the future. I almost wish that I had something in my life I needed to lie about, but Jinya takes me
as I am and there's no need.

Do you enjoy lying? What's the best lie you've ever told? I think my biggest, most extensive lie was when I wrote out a fake work schedule after I'd quit my job so that I could meet Jinya while my wife thought I was at work. Jin and I spent the day together, and she left a few hickeys on my neck. I spent a little while scratching at my neck vigorously so that when my wife picked me up from work, I could claim I'd been scratching all day and that I was having an allergic reaction to something. (It looked like I had, too.) I picked a long, blonde hair off myself in the car on the way home and explained it away by saying a co-worker had been hitting on me to try and get me to cover a shift for her, so that she could watch her boyfriend's kid. (That HAD happened, but it was a few days before and I wisely hadn't mentioned it.) As soon as we got home, I showered to "relieve my allergy" and wash off where Jinya and I had "spent the day together". My neck felt much better afterwards.

Cynthetiq 10-07-2003 06:13 AM

I try very hard to not lie. I don't like to compromise my integrity.

That doesn't mean that I tell you everything. Withholding the truth is not the same as lying.

But let me remind everyone we all make small lies... like,"Oh tell them I'm not in, I don't want to talk to him now." "Yes, that dress is really nice." I try very hard even in those circumstances to tell the truth as tactfully and respectfully as I can.

Thraeryn 10-07-2003 06:22 AM

Omission is not lying, but is one of the integral concepts of lying. To lie well, you have to be able to omit pertinent information, and slightly twist other info. Good lies have just a little bit of truth to them.

rsl12 10-07-2003 06:24 AM

lying is like smoking--it can become a pretty nasty habit if you let it. then all you will be good for is selling used cars or litigating.

Averett 10-07-2003 06:31 AM

I don't like to lie. But I find myself telling lies too much. Nothing big, just stupid little shit. And it always makes me feel like such a loser.

zf0enix 10-07-2003 06:41 AM

Sometimes, I feel like my whole life is a lie. Albeit, not as creative as <b>Thraeryn</b>'s.

Thraeryn 10-07-2003 06:46 AM

Creativity is one of the keys to a lasting lie.

Lying about small, piddly things generally makes me feel like a loser, too. I have very few reservations, and I'll pretty freely talk about stuff others find embarrassing. I'll admit to making mistakes, etc. The lie definitely has to be worth telling for me to take any pride or enjoyment in it. It has to be outright deceit about something, not just saying that I have filed this report or that I remember that time the person is talking about. Left that sort of thing behind in high school.

Cynthetiq 10-07-2003 07:15 AM

okay... I will tell of a tale...

the g/f (now wife) and I went to Las Vegas because I bought some property out there. So when we returned I told a friend of mine we secretly got married and didn't tell anyone because my sister had announced that she was getting married the week before. We didn't want to steal her thunder.

I told him that we couldn't wear rings because well it would blow the cover etc.

He kept it secret for over 1 year, I finally told him one day casually over a beer. He was ready to murder me because on several occassions he got drunk and wanted to be loose lipped about it but didn't.

:)

Thraeryn 10-07-2003 07:22 AM

*LAUGH* Now, see, that is a lie worth telling! ;) It didn't REALLY hurt anyone, just inconvenienced a buddy for a while. And it was definitely a whopper. ;)

legolas 10-07-2003 07:49 AM

I really try to be an honest person but if i HAVE to lie for some reason I will.

laconic1 10-07-2003 09:33 AM

I try not to lie if at all possible because it gets difficult to keep track of a lie sometimes. Although, like Cynthetiq said, witholding the truth is not the same as lying.

dylanmarsh 10-07-2003 10:49 AM

I used to lie quite a bit but found it too much of a hassle to keep track of them with the different people I was telling them to. Lying can be a sign of intelligence, I would agree. I also think its a sign of a lack of self-respect and of self-esteem. I find it easier to just tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may; rather than trying to manipulate the situation to conform to my lies.

I think lying has its purpose, though. Although, I do see it as bad kharma.

God of Thunder 10-07-2003 10:59 AM

I lie quite often.

What scares me sometimes is just how good I am at it. The things I can tell you with a straight face are sometimes amazing.


Know this though, at least for the puposes of this board, I don't lie about music, computers or food...ever.

I also swear to you that I have not lied about anything in this board. I don't do it amongst friends, that can come back to bite you in the ass.

But to the boss...anything goes. He's a weasel anyways.

absorbentishe 10-07-2003 10:59 AM

I try to be a very honest person, but... There are always circumstances that a lie will be okay. I've lied to save my ass, save someone else's ass etc. I've been creative to get out of something I really didn't want to do. I don't like to do it, but I'm pretty good at it. Now my sister is living a lie, when she talks, we never know what is truth and what is fiction.

World's King 10-07-2003 11:08 AM

Sometimes in bars I pretend to be someone I'm not.

That's about it.

Thraeryn 10-07-2003 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by God of Thunder
I also swear to you that I have not lied about anything in this board. I don't do it amongst friends, that can come back to bite you in the ass.
Exactly how I feel. There's usually no need to lie to friends. They're people who accept you as you are. I definitely don't lie about anything here; there's no point. You'll either like me or you won't.

Come to think of it, the times when I feel it's acceptable to lie are few. Things like cutting in line to get Christopher Lambert's autograph, pretending like I'd had that spot in line all the time. Junk like that. Or when, to get something I value, I have to resort to deception.

jimk 10-07-2003 12:49 PM

i find it tiring to lie anymore. just complicates life. that being said, sometimes i do catch myself involuntarily lying about something that doesn't matter at all. whenever i bust myself doing this, i think, "what the fuck?!? what purpose did that serve?"

watching my 3 yr old grow, it seems the occasional involuntary lie is innate. he just does it. "did you just hit the dog? " "no." clean, straight-to-the-face lie. i watched him whack the dog........

Thraeryn 10-07-2003 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimk
watching my 3 yr old grow, it seems the occasional involuntary lie is innate. he just does it. "did you just hit the dog? " "no." clean, straight-to-the-face lie. i watched him whack the dog........
That annoys me to no end. Try to have some artistry! Come up with a bad, but understandable reason to have hit the dog! But don't tell me you didn't do it when I SAW you do it! :p

anleja 10-07-2003 02:26 PM

I told my wife the other day that Cindy Crawford died in a car wreck. She was like "Oh, my God, really?"
"Yeah, I guess it just happened a few hours ago."
"Whoa, that's crazy."
"Yeah."

But then I felt bad and had to tell the truth, that she was probably alive and well.

I'm a good liar, but I dislike having to cover up the lie with more lies, so I generally tell the painful truth. White lies are usually fine, I suppose. If everyone in the country told the absolute truth to each and every person, there'd probably be war in the streets.

splck 10-07-2003 05:09 PM

" ~ Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive ~ "


Lies and chronic liars drive me nuts. It's not hard to see through them and only serves to increase my disrespect for them.
I try not to lie and would hope other people do the same.

nothingx 10-07-2003 08:53 PM

I don't ever lie anymore. I've known too many people that are liars and they piss me off to no end. I will never let myself become like them. I've become so accustomed to being honest that I sometimes forget that other people lie.

phredgreen 10-07-2003 09:27 PM

heh... lying is something i used to do alot. espeically to my mother and the rest of my family. the whole "everything's fine" deal when i've been unemployed for the last couple months and am barely making it, or even about smaller things like basic chores and whatnot... those tendencies still carry over a little bit, but i do my very best to not do so anymore... i find it so much easier to just tell the truth, but sometimes will let a lie fly when i'm embarrased to tell the truth or don't want to admit to something.

beyond that, i'm half and half when it comes to lying... on one hand, i can let them fly just to fuck with someone, espeically at work, but they're little things. nothing serious, just little whites to confuse them for a moment... on the other hand, i'm a pretty trusting person, so i'll get led around in lies often. sometimes it's all in fun, like when i'm at work, and we'll all have a good laugh about it later, other times i get caught hard by them, like when i caught my ex in her cheating ways... it really ripped me a new one.

after living a life with my ex, who always told half-truths, withheld information, and flat out lied about even the smallest stuff, i'm so happy to be in a relationship with my girlfriend, who is completely open and normally knows when i've let slip a lie but understands that i'm getting past that as far as relationships go... i'll always wanna be open and upfront with her... i've seen the consequenses of relationships that aren't.

Thraeryn 10-08-2003 04:06 AM

I don't want it to be thought that I dislike telling the truth. I tell the truth about 99.995% of the time now that I'm with Jin. I spend all my time around her, and I don't have to lie to her about anything. If I don't feel some need to lie, I won't.

There are definitely times, however, when the truth is not easier than a lie, times when the truth will bring about unnecessary conflict or stress. Those are the times when a good lie, well-told, will stave off a lot of unwanted strife. I'm all for lies then.

Thraeryn 10-08-2003 04:08 AM

Oh, I'm also pleased to note that so far, less than ten percent of you make it your duty not to lie. I congratulate you on your ethics, and I hope they serve you in good stead.

dnd 10-08-2003 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
okay... I will tell of a tale...

the g/f (now wife) and I went to Las Vegas because I bought some property out there. So when we returned I told a friend of mine we secretly got married and didn't tell anyone because my sister had announced that she was getting married the week before. We didn't want to steal her thunder.

I told him that we couldn't wear rings because well it would blow the cover etc.

He kept it secret for over 1 year, I finally told him one day casually over a beer. He was ready to murder me because on several occassions he got drunk and wanted to be loose lipped about it but didn't.

:)

me got very confused with this when reading it....is it me or did your wife change gender during the post? or have i just got the wrong end of a shortish stick or are u playin with us?

almostaugust 10-08-2003 05:30 AM

I really try hard not to lie. Joseph Conrad, one of the greatest writers of all time, encapsulated my beleifs on lying when he said that there was something about liying that was like death (he puts it way more eloquently than I). People who lie, and people who steal wantonly for thier own ends really scare me, cause thier moral compass is way off in my belief.
I had a good friend who is perhaps one of the most intelligent people i have ever met. He was a pathological liar. He'd lie about the smallest things so well. (He's an associate lecturer at a university close by and he's only mid 20s). When he lied to me about having a brain tumor i believed him. Soon after though, i began to doubt, and one day confronted him. That was 2 years ago, and i havent seen him since.

Thraeryn 10-08-2003 05:53 AM

Meh. A brain tumor is an easy thing to lie about, as proof is hard to come by.

Associate lecturer, hmm? If I had any desire to work, I could probably lie on my resume. That thought has never really occurred to me in the past, because I can see myself getting caught too easily:
&nbsp;Employer: "Didn't you run into this situation over at X?"
&nbsp;Me: " . . . . . . . "

Darkblack 10-08-2003 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Thraeryn
Is there anyone out there in our great community that enjoys lying as much as I do?

Lying is one of the few challenging things in my life. It takes creativity and intelligence. It takes a knowledge of how people think and behave. A good lie can be the result of extensive planning, or it can be an amazingly quick-minded response to awkwardness. A lie is a victory of your will over another's, imposing upon them what you want reality to be. Good lies are almost a legacy, stretching on into the future. I almost wish that I had something in my life I needed to lie about, but Jinya takes me
as I am and there's no need.

Do you enjoy lying? What's the best lie you've ever told? I think my biggest, most extensive lie was when I wrote out a fake work schedule after I'd quit my job so that I could meet Jinya while my wife thought I was at work. Jin and I spent the day together, and she left a few hickeys on my neck. I spent a little while scratching at my neck vigorously so that when my wife picked me up from work, I could claim I'd been scratching all day and that I was having an allergic reaction to something. (It looked like I had, too.) I picked a long, blonde hair off myself in the car on the way home and explained it away by saying a co-worker had been hitting on me to try and get me to cover a shift for her, so that she could watch her boyfriend's kid. (That HAD happened, but it was a few days before and I wisely hadn't mentioned it.) As soon as we got home, I showered to "relieve my allergy" and wash off where Jinya and I had "spent the day together". My neck felt much better afterwards.

Are you still with your wife? Why lie about cheating? Doesn't that mean you don't love, respect, and care for her? Why not just leave her and go be with your blonde?

MSD 10-08-2003 09:13 AM

I admit that I lie. I do it when I feel I need to, and when it will prevent others from getting hurt. I don't lie to put myself above people, I dont' try to impress anyone by pretending I'm something I'm not, and I hope that if I were ever to cheat on a significant other and lie about it, that they would find out and shoot me for it, because I don't think that infidelity deserves anything less in return.

tekaweni 10-08-2003 09:33 AM

After I made my first million and screwed Miss World I gave up lying.

BlueBongo 10-08-2003 09:48 AM

As a victim of molestation by my father, which I do blame my father for my previous lying problems, I found myself often lying to my parents to just get out of the house. In 5th grade I wrote a letter to my grandmother letting her know that my father had been "sexually abusing" me.. I did not know what molestation was. So it started a big thing with CPS and the police, basically they said there was not enough evidence to prove anything had happened (since my sister, whom it also happened to, lied about it at the time).. so my WHOLE family, distant and non, did not trust me and to this day will not let me sleep in their homes without my sister or some other family member there... and well, this has really sucked.
BUT, back to the lying thing. From 5th grade on I started joining more activites, Girls Scouts, more band.. everyting and anything I could do to keep myself away from the house. When I was home I locked myself in my room or in the computer room. I lied about everything to my family and friends to make them all think I was okay. I would lie to my parents about staying at someone's house when I really wasn't.. etc etc. In High School I went so far as to forge a note saying I was going on a long band trip for a weekend when I was really going to Tucson to visit some friends at the University there. I didn't make it home on Sunday.. got caught. Even went so far as to try to move down to Tucson with my friends... but it was all a lie, I lost my friends and my family all in my younger years. And I really regret it... but at the same time I feel I have learned from my mistakes, spent lots on therapy, and turned myself around in the past 4 years.
It's not hard to spot a lie, especially when you know how it feels to tell one. I have trust issues as well. But having seen how much even some small lies hurt people, I don't lie to my friends and family. Though I will say I have told some at work, but just as far as the amount of work I've gotten done on days I don't really wanna be there. I don't feel I need to lie about anything anymore.. there is no real reason to it. Even if the outcome of knowing the truth is disasterous.


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