I don't use the words gay and fag as insults but I see it the way I call someone stupid. I don't mean my friends are below normal intelligence when I say they're dumb, its just word. Likewise, i don't even know what a fuckwad is but I've heard that get thrown around. I know people from other cultures that see dumb as a much greater insult than my culture sees it and i dont use it around them.

Ashton im exactlly the same way! thats wierd!

unfortunately, I grew up using gay not as an insult to homosexuals, but to call something lame. Now, although I have no prejudice against homosexuality, I find that I still use gay in the same way, and although I don't want it to offend anyone, I find that it perfectly connotes that sense of lameness. Maybe this common usage will leave the derogatory aspect of the word behind, like "you suck" no longer explicitly means "you suck d__k".