phoenix1002

What is the hardest thing you have had to deal with in your life?


The hardest thing I've ever had to deal with is loving someone who doesn't love me back. She's still one of my best friends, but she just does not feel more than friendship towards me, whereas I feel... more. This came to head over the phone, and during that discussion, my entire body was quivering uncontrollable. It hurt (emotionally) more than anything else I have ever had to do.

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I'd rather be climbing...

I approach college much like a recovering alcoholic--one day at a time...

BBtB

Actully mine is the exact same as yours. Now it happened back when I was about 13. Only now do I realize that I may really love her. I am now 19 and we are still sorta friends. We have drifted apart and togther (as friends) several times since then (but never because of that) but she is still the only girl that I could ever truly want.

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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"

phoenix1002

Damn... that sounds like almost the exact same thing, I didn't really realize how i felt till it was too late, really.

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I'd rather be climbing...

I approach college much like a recovering alcoholic--one day at a time...

Johnny Rotten

Never mind, I lose.

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"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

MSD

Seeing my dad lying on a hospital bed in the living room slipping in an out of delerious consciousness for two months until the tumor spread from his stomach and stopped his lungs. Knowing from a year earlier that he had les than a 1% chance of surviving as long as he did. Maybe the hardest moment was seeing the surgeon who had successfully removed all but microscopic pieces of tumor twice before tell my mother that this time, he couldn't help him any more and that the chemotherapy's 1% chance of success was his only hope. It also hurt to hear that ImClone, the only company that made a drug that couldwatch Sam Waksal of ImClone led out in handcuffs after bringing down his comapny along with the drug that saved 16% of no-hope-left patients from exactly the situation my father was in. It was also hard to know that two months after he died, an experimental treatment that "has the potential to cure 30% of all human cancers" was scheduled to begin clinical testing. Now I know that even if he did make it for another two months, red tape has and continues to hold up the trials.

Seeing a man who was 6'4" and 230 pounds and in good shape who took one sick day in the 6 years he worked at his last job and still managed to make it to work every day while recieving chemotherapy waste away to 120 pounds and unable to even drink water during the minute or two each day that he was even semi-conscious was the hardest time of my life.

Somenosuke

Being molested by a friend of the family when I was 9 and being the only one in my family that remembers it, and having to see him on a regular basis cuz he's still friends with my brothers.

Falling in love and having my heart stomped by that person 3 times in a 2 month span is a slightly close second.

(Hope this answer isn't too depressing, but you asked..)

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

cub4life78

The hardest time in my life was when my father passed away of a massive heart attack in my arms when I was 11 after just finishing building a garden for my mother for mothers day. After this happened my life turned to utter shit. Things are ok now in the grand scheme of things...

Mael

i have to agree with the first few posts, i've had the whole "i love this girl, but she just wants me as a friend" thing. i think that's a really hard thing to come to grips with.

but for me, the hardest thing was that i got the crap kicked out of me in a car accident, and spent 2 weeks in the hospital and then 2 months in a wheelchair. i still don't feel completely "right" after it, and PT is one of the most physically draining things i can imagine. go there one day, too sore to walk for the next two. blah, don't matter though, any thing that don't kill ya can't be all that bad.

raiden1

I can relate to phoenix1002 I’m stuck in the same situation, sorry to see someone else in the same boat.

rock_bottom

Dealing with my family's drinking problems... learning to love them in spite of their problems. Accepting that I said some bad things to them and about them... used their problems as an excuse for my own.

Angel

In no specific order...

*My brother's suicide

*My nephew's suicide

*My mother's (at age 61) stroke which left her handicapped.

*My sister's (at age 40) brain aneurysm followed by a stroke 10 days later which left her having to learn to do everything all over again and handicapped.

These are the high hitters. Some others are far too personal to place here.

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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

i8one2

On my personal level-that i was an alcoholic.

and even more importantly, i had lived a life of internal lies for 41years...
Thank god, I have now found what it was I needed to become whole, and found my truth, it saved my life.

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LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC"
"Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad"

Quality is for those who know
what they want and are at peace with what they have.

"S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

MSD

Now that Angel mentioned the subject, I realized that I lost a good friend of mine to suicide a year ago this Tuesday. He semed perfectly fine one day, and the next he was gone.

spectre

Watching two friends and two family members die from a condition that I barely survived. Worst of it was when one of the friend's parents gave me a hug at the wake and started crying, I can't begin to describe how difficult that was for me.

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"Fuck these chains
No goddamn slave
I will be different" ~ Machine Head

World's King

Death, destruction and everything in between.


I'm the King of shit.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

TrollInvestigtr

Being an unemployed idiot for two years.

Loki

Forcing myself to walk away from someone with no hope. There was nothing i could do, but for a very long time i stayed anyway, watching him waste away.

When i did walk away i felt like shit. Even with hindsight, i can see that i did the right thing, but i still feel like shit whenever i think about it.

Its funny how something can be the right thing to do, whilst still being completely wrong.

sierra2774

The hardest thing I have ever dealt with is when My Mother was killed in a car accident, at age 40, 10 years ago.
Then my Dad remarried, I got the Best Step Mother anyone could ask for, and in January she fell over from a brain anurism and died, at age 48.
My Dad is heartbroken, he finally found love again and now it is gone too. My Heart breaks for my Dad and seeing him like that is another very hard thing to deal with.

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"Every tomorrow brings new opportunities, challenges we must address...A chance to affirm all our wishes and dreams, to seek beauty and true happiness."

SecretMethod70

Yeah, so, uh, I've lived a pretty good life so far. I won't pretend to have anything comparable to most here. A friend of mine in HS died though of some sort of meningitis - I forget the exact kind. Basically, one day she didn't feel so good after school, the next day she was in the hospital, and the next she was dead. Pretty surreal actually. It's interesting because, while I know a lot of people relate diffeernt songs to different events and such, this is the onyl event in my life which I relate any songs to - a couple in fact. Of course, I suppose that's fitting since I knew her through the various school choral functions.

I suppose my great grandmother's death is fairly high up there as well but I was pretty young - in 7th grade - and she was really old so I wasn't taken by surprise in any way at all. I was a bit in the sense that she had been in the hospital a few times before and always came out in the end, and this time was different. So, while I didn't expect it, it awsn't really shocking. To me, the worst thing about that was that it wasn't until later that I realized how much more I wish I would have asked her about her life and everything - granted, she told me a lot of stories from when she was growing up and such, but I could have found out so much more had I been interested when I was younger.

EDIT: oh, I haven't really had to deal with this yet for the most part, but one of my uncles fell off of a roof a few years ago and is now paralyzed (I think from the waist down). He lives in Georgia and I typically only see him every couple years, and I haven't seen him since a few years before that happened, so, like i said, it's not something I've really had to deal with yet. I just recently saw a picture of him for the first time since then (my dad flew down for one of my cousin's weddings) but even with that it cut off just before you could see the wheelchair, so, in the classic I-haven't-seen-it-so-it-doesn't-exist sense, I haven't really had to deal with that yet.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

redravin40

Losing my career, having three surgeries on my hands, having my wife and kids leave, and declaring bankruptcy all in one year.

tommyboy

WAR

gibber71

Seeing my mother go from a vibrant healthy person to absolutely nothing due to cancer changed my life and certainly the way I think about life.Live for today and do what you want to do,not what you have to do.Tomorrow will take care of itself and yesterday already has.

kairaan

Mine is the opposite of the first two on here...I've been with a girl for almost two years now, and I recently came to the realization that I don't love her. This girl...she loves me so much. It's apparent in everything she does and says. I want to love her back...I really do...and it's killing me inside that I don't.

phredgreen

the hardest thing i ever did was sending my beautiful baby girl away to live with her grandma in oregon. her mother turned out to be a lying cheating whore (those are the nice words) who married me for the benefits i had as an airline employee to go see other men. when i found this out i couldn't possibly live with this woman, so i had to send her away... the only problem is that we have a duaghter together, and at the time i wasn't stable enough emotionally or financially to take care of a baby... so i sent mother and child back to grandma's in oregon. it's so hard not seeing first steps and hearing her laugh and be silly and playing with her and all of those thinsg i missed. i'll make it up to her one day, but right now it's a difficult thing to deal with.

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My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine

phoenix1002

Kairaan, my suggestion is to talk to her about it... I almost lost one of my best friends because we didn't talk.

Looking up at the other posts, some of you here have been through a really lot of tough stuff. I have even more respect for the people I'm talking to now.

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I'd rather be climbing...

I approach college much like a recovering alcoholic--one day at a time...

Dragonlich

The hardest thing emotionally would be:

Imagine being a 17-year old kid. Imagine a room, your mother lying on the couch, breathing with a lot of difficulty because of a really advanced stage of MS (muscle disease, eventually kills your respiratory system, and you die). The room is filled with family members, and a doctor. I'm standing behind the couch, trying to make sense of my feelings. Today, the doc is going to perform euthanasia on my mother... However, the family members disagree - she shouldn't do it! My mother should think of the children!

Now, imagine having to explain to those bastards that you *want* your mother to die, because you want to end her suffering...

(the story doesn't end there, luckily. The doc refused to do it without a final checkup in the hospital. My mother got some specific medication that had never worked before, and was actually for another disease, similar to MS. The medication worked. She's still alive today, healthier than she ever was during those previous years.)

(And I still feel tears coming up when thinking about that... )

Double D

Being 22 & pregnant, newly living in an isolated area on the central coast of CA, knowing no one, married to an alcoholic wife-beating rat-bastard husband who got his cookies off punching me in the gut. Yeah, I did finally have the sanity to leave, but none of it was easy.

My situation seems pretty minor in comparison to some others here tho'. You guys just blow me away with your strength and honesty.

Zello

Man...

I'm left speechless after reading these posts. I haven't yet had to deal with anything on the same level as everyone else. A friend of mine was in a wreck and was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like waking up in a hospital bed without being able to move any limbs.

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Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own list.

GreasyP

Christ, I guess my life has been pretty peachy. I've had lots of bad stuff happen to me, but never to anybody close to me. In my experience, I think it is much easier to deal with your own pain then to have to watch helplessly as somebody you care about is hurting.

I guess the closest thing that might qualify is my daily struggle with IBS. I wake up every morning in incredible pain, my stomach on fire. Sometimes it's so bad I have to literally crawl on hands and knees to the bathroom to release the razor blades. That's pretty gross, I know. Sorry.

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lukeswalewalker

Dealing with the loss of both my parents over the space of 11 months. I finally realised how precious and fragile life is.

Sun Tzu

A very special female

Getting dropped form Basic Underwater Demolition School for an injury

Death of my grandmother

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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking

YzermanS19

I've had grandparents die, uncles die, pets die.

I've seen final stage alzheimers, I've seen full blown cancer.

I've seen girls walk away from me. I've seen girls I've loved not love me back.

The single most life-altering path of my life was a life threatening injury. While its terrible to watch a family member die, its even moreso frightening to know that you have a very good chance of dying yourself. Even though your thankful you had it happen to you and not someone closer to you.

Its that simple: I could have not woken up.

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the light that burns twice as bright
burns half as long

and you have burned so very, very brightly

snowy

For me personally it is being 11 years old and seeing my father wrestling my mother off of the deck railing. She was trying to commit suicide. She spent the next week in the mental ward at the county hospital.

I've been sexually assaulted, I've seen my grandmother in the throes of Alzheimer's, but my life compared to my mother's has been a day at the beach. She is my hero--I'm amazed every day at her strength and will to move on with life. She is my best friend. I am so glad she has overcome everything to be where she is today and as strong as she is today. I love my mommy very much.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

methodtim

The last six months have been fucked up for me. When I'm around longer and get to you y'all I'll maybe elaborate. One thing I keep learning is that nothing ever gets easier. Oh joy for the next six months.

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We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
and we can dance.

User Name

Having my uncle go to the hospital and die within a 2-3 week span of cancer. Also, falling in love with a girl who just wants to be friends. Not that interesting, I know, but I've been alive for less than two decades.