Married TFPers: What'd you get your new wife? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

clockworkgreen · 08-11-2003, 06:56 PM

I'm guessing a fair number of you are married, so I'm curious to find out what you gave your new wife for a wedding present (besides the high hard one, eh gov'ner, eh?!).

I have some ideas, but I'm concerned they're not "weddingy" enough. The jewelry thing is old, I was thinking maybe personalized stationary with her new name, but that doesn't sound very fun. Maybe something that she wouldn't buy herself anymore now that she's married...

I don't really want to ask for ideas, since y'all don't know her, but I can ask how you guys handled it.

irieemon · 08-11-2003, 07:03 PM

a house and a car

clockworkgreen · 08-11-2003, 07:12 PM

Well, those will be done before the wedding, so I need something else....

Where do you go after buying a house??

angela146 · 08-11-2003, 07:12 PM

I know you didn't ask for suggestions but... you might consider giving her two things, one public and one private.

e.g. a bracelet that she can wear at the wedding and a silver hairbrush with her new name engraved.

Either way, it doesn't have to be expensive but it should be something permanent, something that she will still have in 70 years.

Expanding on your idea of stationery, what about an embossing seal with her new name. That way, regardless of what paper she uses she can personalize it.

i8one2 · 08-11-2003, 08:34 PM

Take her to a place where they offer horse riding lessons or excersions with a guide. And maybe make it a weekend get-a-way.

Cynthetiq · 08-11-2003, 08:41 PM

we didn't give each other anything... we don't really do the gift thing very often.

Rodney · 08-11-2003, 09:14 PM

Actually, I'm not familiar with the practice of giving _each other_ presents. People who have traditional weddings generally expect presents from well-wishers.

In my case, the marriage was the present. We were living together and had declared ourselves life partners. And she had said that legal marriage didn't mean anything and was just a manifestation of the state impinging on private lives, yaddyadda...she was an old lefty in a former life. But I kind of saw her acting a little wistful about it as the years went by, though not really saying anything about it. So I scheduled a wedding date down at the courthouse and rounded up some witnesses and told her she could come too, if she wanted... And she never really expected me to take the initiative. So I got more credit than I would have for any present.

While all the above is not exactly what you asked, what I did give my wife was a reiteration of my commitment and caring. If you want to give her a an appropriate prsent, give her something that sends the same feeling. Maybe something with an engraved message of commitment, not just her name. Doesn't have to be a huge present, just sincere. Give it some thought.

XenuHubbard · 08-11-2003, 09:57 PM

Heh, she got me.

Broke as hell. Still am.

She says she sees me as an investment.

Redlemon · 08-12-2003, 07:53 AM

I also had no idea that you were supposed to get gifts for each other; fortunately, she mentioned it with enough lead time for me to do something about it.

I picked up earrings to match her engagement ring, which worked well. I too had initially thought that jewelery wouldn't be "special/thoughtful" enough, but discussions with women set me straight on that issue.

lurkette · 08-12-2003, 08:27 AM

I got a beautiful pair of pearl earrings from Ratbastid.

sipsake · 08-12-2003, 08:33 AM

Oh cripes...I'm getting married in two months and now I have to find her a gift? That was never mentioned in the instruction manual.

G_Whiz · 08-12-2003, 08:41 AM

We were "starving" college kids when we got married, so I didn't have much money. What I did was buy a silver, heart-shaped ring box. I put her wedding band in it.

I arranged with the minister to give him the box and he would remove the ring and give it to me to put on her finger, then he would give her the box.

What he did was show the box to the audience and make a speech about the depth of our love. Then he took out the ring, etc.

It wasn't expensive, but it is still a huge highlight from our small, little wedding ceremony that took place 36 years ago.

tristar1 · 08-12-2003, 08:53 AM

A strand of pearls to wear in the ceremony.

Hash_Browns · 08-12-2003, 09:00 AM

do you have any family heirlooms to be passed down to your children? A mothers broach, or earrings or a ring that was great grandmothers?? These things are also a symbol of family and love and your marriage? Just an idea!

I also like the engraved charm, hair brush, idea with a bit more to it then her name!

Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

absorbentishe · 08-12-2003, 10:32 AM

She got a pearl necklace.... Hehe, just kidding.

No seriously, she is big into Precious Moment figurines, and I bought her 2 of the getting married ones. She loved them!

TRPF · 08-12-2003, 12:24 PM

Jewelry.

Lasts for a long time. Easy for the spouse to remember "How generous you used to be"... Seeing as how many newlyweds are dirt poor for what seems like forever...

neoinoakleys · 08-12-2003, 12:31 PM

I gave her a Bentton Leather coat that she had been eying...

iceman2032 · 08-12-2003, 02:29 PM

I got her the original printing of "The Princess Bride" and then wrote a little message to her on the front blank page. It was the first movie we watched together, and she cried when she remembered that fact.

vermin · 08-12-2003, 03:51 PM

I also wasn't aware the bride and groom were supposed to trade presents. I thought that's what the wedding rings were.

smarm · 08-12-2003, 05:18 PM

Her engagement ring was a family heirloom, but for the wedding I gave her a honeymoon trip to Bermuda.

yangwar · 08-12-2003, 07:27 PM

I've found that the wedding gift is often overlooked by the groom to be due to a lack of familiarity or ignorance.... Don't feel bad about it.

Anyway, I got my wife a brass zippo with a filigree design engraved with one of my many nicknames for her. There's a ton of reasons why I got that specific present, but they were mostly personal of significance only to us.

lukeduke · 08-12-2003, 08:21 PM

A pearl necklace. ( The kind she wanted, not the kind I wanted to give her.)

clockworkgreen · 08-12-2003, 09:16 PM

Alright guys and gals, here's my idea...

A guy I used to work with, he was in his 60s, said every Sunday for every week he was married, he gave his wife flowers. Just headed out to the store and spent a few dollars on some roses or daisies, etc.

I was thinking I could get my new wife a nice crystal vase, possibly engraved though I'm not sure, and continue on the weekly flower idea. I think it'd be a nice thing for her, especially if I kept using the vase I bought her for our wedding every week.

But other thoughts are most definitely welcome. Seems some other guys in this thread need some help, too. Time is running out!

Jonsgirl · 08-12-2003, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clockworkgreen

I was thinking I could get my new wife a nice crystal vase, possibly engraved though I'm not sure, and continue on the weekly flower idea. I think it'd be a nice thing for her, especially if I kept using the vase I bought her for our wedding every week.

Dude, where do you live that men do this? I've heard of this "romance" thing, but only on the discovery channel.
No, I'm just kidding my husband is very romantic.

Seriously, that is a great idea. She'll have every other woman jealous of her for years.

mml · 08-12-2003, 10:54 PM

Fantastic idea, the hard part is the follow through. If you are serious, and I really hope you are, make sure you actually do it. I got my wife a leather journal and put in a poem I had written to her once. The idea was that I would fill the journal up over the years. I thought it was very romantic, but it is a lot of work. Whenever she wants to get me going, she mentions that I haven't written anything for her lately. I so wish I had come up with your idea. Congratulations and I hope you have a lifetime of love(and lovin').

Great Scott · 08-13-2003, 01:21 AM

I was also not aware of this gift exchange tradition. Dying to enquire where and by whom it is practiced....

hotzot · 08-13-2003, 02:05 AM

I was broke, (I owed the bank $35) My wife had $3500 in savings owned 10 acres of land and had a new car (she bought me a car). I drew her a caricature of her and me for our wedding as a present. It's still in our bedroom.

Daval · 08-13-2003, 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
we didn't give each other anything... we don't really do the gift thing very often.

ditto

BonesCPA · 08-13-2003, 08:33 AM

Before we got married she asked me what I wanted. I said that I didn't want anything, but of course realized that meant she wanted something. I cheated on the gift - she needed luggage for the honeymoon, so I said I would buy it and that would be her gift. She ended up buying me a dvd/vcr combo that we probably would have bought anyway. I was still suffering from sticker shock for all the cash that I was had/about to pay out (over $20k net after gifts) and wasn't ready for more expense. Also, I felt the sentimental object that I gave her was the engagement ring. What more is needed to say that I love her and want to be with her forever?

HeAtHeN · 08-13-2003, 08:41 AM

She got the joy of spending the rest of her life with me....

... oh and a house (which I guess we bought together)

micah67 · 08-13-2003, 01:31 PM

I got my (ex) wife a Movado watch. I don't remember what she got me. It was 10 years ago.

RoadRage · 08-13-2003, 08:06 PM

Lamaze and parenting classes.

Our first was born five months later.

08-11-2003, 06:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
clockworkgreen Psycho Location: DC	Married TFPers: What'd you get your new wife? I'm guessing a fair number of you are married, so I'm curious to find out what you gave your new wife for a wedding present (besides the high hard one, eh gov'ner, eh?!). I have some ideas, but I'm concerned they're not "weddingy" enough. The jewelry thing is old, I was thinking maybe personalized stationary with her new name, but that doesn't sound very fun. Maybe something that she wouldn't buy herself anymore now that she's married... I don't really want to ask for ideas, since y'all don't know her, but I can ask how you guys handled it.

08-11-2003, 07:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
angela146 Loser Location: Somewhere near Hubby	I know you didn't ask for suggestions but... you might consider giving her two things, one public and one private. e.g. a bracelet that she can wear at the wedding and a silver hairbrush with her new name engraved. Either way, it doesn't have to be expensive but it should be something permanent, something that she will still have in 70 years. Expanding on your idea of stationery, what about an embossing seal with her new name. That way, regardless of what paper she uses she can personalize it. Last edited by angela146; 08-11-2003 at 07:16 PM..

08-11-2003, 08:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
i8one2 COMPLETED and A TRAINER Location: BEAN_TOWN	Take her to a place where they offer horse riding lessons or excersions with a guide. And maybe make it a weekend get-a-way. __________________ LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC" "Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad" Quality is for those who know what they want and are at peace with what they have. "S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

08-11-2003, 08:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	we didn't give each other anything... we don't really do the gift thing very often. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

08-11-2003, 09:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
XenuHubbard Cute and Cuddly Location: Teegeeack.	Heh, she got me. Broke as hell. Still am. She says she sees me as an investment. __________________ The above was written by a true prophet. Trust me. "What doesn't kill you, makes you bitter and paranoid". - SB2000

08-11-2003, 07:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
irieemon Crazy Location: Right where I want to be.	a house and a car

08-11-2003, 07:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
clockworkgreen Psycho Location: DC	Well, those will be done before the wedding, so I need something else.... Where do you go after buying a house??

08-11-2003, 09:14 PM	#7 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Actually, I'm not familiar with the practice of giving _each other_ presents. People who have traditional weddings generally expect presents from well-wishers. In my case, the marriage was the present. We were living together and had declared ourselves life partners. And she had said that legal marriage didn't mean anything and was just a manifestation of the state impinging on private lives, yaddyadda...she was an old lefty in a former life. But I kind of saw her acting a little wistful about it as the years went by, though not really saying anything about it. So I scheduled a wedding date down at the courthouse and rounded up some witnesses and told her she could come too, if she wanted... And she never really expected me to take the initiative. So I got more credit than I would have for any present. While all the above is not exactly what you asked, what I did give my wife was a reiteration of my commitment and caring. If you want to give her a an appropriate prsent, give her something that sends the same feeling. Maybe something with an engraved message of commitment, not just her name. Doesn't have to be a huge present, just sincere. Give it some thought.

08-12-2003, 07:53 AM	#9 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I also had no idea that you were supposed to get gifts for each other; fortunately, she mentioned it with enough lead time for me to do something about it. I picked up earrings to match her engagement ring, which worked well. I too had initially thought that jewelery wouldn't be "special/thoughtful" enough, but discussions with women set me straight on that issue. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

08-12-2003, 08:27 AM	#10 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I got a beautiful pair of pearl earrings from Ratbastid. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

08-12-2003, 08:33 AM	#11 (permalink)
sipsake Psycho Location: Memphis	Oh cripes...I'm getting married in two months and now I have to find her a gift? That was never mentioned in the instruction manual. __________________ When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else you got?" Henry Rollins

08-12-2003, 08:41 AM	#12 (permalink)
G_Whiz Junkie Location: Northern California	We were "starving" college kids when we got married, so I didn't have much money. What I did was buy a silver, heart-shaped ring box. I put her wedding band in it. I arranged with the minister to give him the box and he would remove the ring and give it to me to put on her finger, then he would give her the box. What he did was show the box to the audience and make a speech about the depth of our love. Then he took out the ring, etc. It wasn't expensive, but it is still a huge highlight from our small, little wedding ceremony that took place 36 years ago. __________________ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

08-12-2003, 08:53 AM	#13 (permalink)
tristar1 Upright	A strand of pearls to wear in the ceremony.

08-12-2003, 09:00 AM	#14 (permalink)
Hash_Browns Psycho Location: Right behind you...BOO!	do you have any family heirlooms to be passed down to your children? A mothers broach, or earrings or a ring that was great grandmothers?? These things are also a symbol of family and love and your marriage? Just an idea! I also like the engraved charm, hair brush, idea with a bit more to it then her name! Good luck and let us know how it goes!! __________________ Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

08-12-2003, 10:32 AM	#15 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	She got a pearl necklace.... Hehe, just kidding. No seriously, she is big into Precious Moment figurines, and I bought her 2 of the getting married ones. She loved them!

08-12-2003, 12:24 PM	#16 (permalink)
TRPF Tilted	Jewelry. Lasts for a long time. Easy for the spouse to remember "How generous you used to be"... Seeing as how many newlyweds are dirt poor for what seems like forever...

08-12-2003, 12:31 PM	#17 (permalink)
neoinoakleys Psycho Location: Michigan	I gave her a Bentton Leather coat that she had been eying... __________________ It's My Duty to Please That Booty!!

08-12-2003, 02:29 PM	#18 (permalink)
iceman2032 Crazy	I got her the original printing of "The Princess Bride" and then wrote a little message to her on the front blank page. It was the first movie we watched together, and she cried when she remembered that fact.

08-12-2003, 03:51 PM	#19 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	I also wasn't aware the bride and groom were supposed to trade presents. I thought that's what the wedding rings were. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

08-12-2003, 05:18 PM	#20 (permalink)
smarm Insane	Her engagement ring was a family heirloom, but for the wedding I gave her a honeymoon trip to Bermuda.

08-12-2003, 07:27 PM	#21 (permalink)
yangwar Crazy Location: Nacogdoches, TX	I've found that the wedding gift is often overlooked by the groom to be due to a lack of familiarity or ignorance.... Don't feel bad about it. Anyway, I got my wife a brass zippo with a filigree design engraved with one of my many nicknames for her. There's a ton of reasons why I got that specific present, but they were mostly personal of significance only to us. __________________ My mouth is a word factory.

08-12-2003, 08:21 PM	#22 (permalink)
lukeduke Upright	A pearl necklace. ( The kind she wanted, not the kind I wanted to give her.) __________________ --God Kills Babies

08-12-2003, 09:16 PM	#23 (permalink)
clockworkgreen Psycho Location: DC	Alright guys and gals, here's my idea... A guy I used to work with, he was in his 60s, said every Sunday for every week he was married, he gave his wife flowers. Just headed out to the store and spent a few dollars on some roses or daisies, etc. I was thinking I could get my new wife a nice crystal vase, possibly engraved though I'm not sure, and continue on the weekly flower idea. I think it'd be a nice thing for her, especially if I kept using the vase I bought her for our wedding every week. But other thoughts are most definitely welcome. Seems some other guys in this thread need some help, too. Time is running out!

08-12-2003, 10:54 PM	#25 (permalink)
mml Adrift Location: Wandering in the Desert of Life	Fantastic idea, the hard part is the follow through. If you are serious, and I really hope you are, make sure you actually do it. I got my wife a leather journal and put in a poem I had written to her once. The idea was that I would fill the journal up over the years. I thought it was very romantic, but it is a lot of work. Whenever she wants to get me going, she mentions that I haven't written anything for her lately. I so wish I had come up with your idea. Congratulations and I hope you have a lifetime of love(and lovin'). __________________ Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." -Douglas Adams

08-13-2003, 01:21 AM	#26 (permalink)
Great Scott Insane Location: In a huge maze just trying to find my cheese	I was also not aware of this gift exchange tradition. Dying to enquire where and by whom it is practiced....

08-13-2003, 02:05 AM	#27 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	I was broke, (I owed the bank $35) My wife had $3500 in savings owned 10 acres of land and had a new car (she bought me a car). I drew her a caricature of her and me for our wedding as a present. It's still in our bedroom. __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

08-13-2003, 08:33 AM	#29 (permalink)
BonesCPA No. It's not done yet. Location: sorta kinda phila	Before we got married she asked me what I wanted. I said that I didn't want anything, but of course realized that meant she wanted something. I cheated on the gift - she needed luggage for the honeymoon, so I said I would buy it and that would be her gift. She ended up buying me a dvd/vcr combo that we probably would have bought anyway. I was still suffering from sticker shock for all the cash that I was had/about to pay out (over $20k net after gifts) and wasn't ready for more expense. Also, I felt the sentimental object that I gave her was the engagement ring. What more is needed to say that I love her and want to be with her forever? __________________ Back into hibernation.

08-13-2003, 01:31 PM	#31 (permalink)
micah67 Thor Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W	I got my (ex) wife a Movado watch. I don't remember what she got me. It was 10 years ago. __________________ ~micah

08-13-2003, 08:06 PM	#32 (permalink)
RoadRage Stay off the sidewalk! Location: Oklahoma City, OK	Lamaze and parenting classes. Our first was born five months later. __________________ Join TFP Team SETI 43K workunits complete, 34 members, more of each needed.