Definitely NOT a satisfied customer - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

RoadRage · 08-06-2003, 04:47 AM

Share and Enjoy!

Quote:

Rexall
Carb Solutions Taste Sensations - Creamy Chocolate Peanut
_ -----Original Message-----
From: xxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 9:05 AM
To: 'itgbilling@rexallsundown.com'
Cc: 'info@carbsolutions.com'; 'webmaster@rexallsundown.com'
Subject: Carb Solutions Taste Sensations - Creamy Chocolate Peanut
Butter

Dear Carb Solutions,

I'm trying to lose a few pounds and last night I tried your Carb Solutions Taste Sensations - Creamy Chocolate Peanut Butter (Serial Number: MC53097 BEST BY040704) for the first time. The bar was a substitute for my dinner because I was on the road.

I want you to know that I have discovered your secret formula for weight loss and I plan on stealing it. I too will make something so truly disgusting in taste that it makes the victim... err, uhhh... "dieter" not want to eat anything because they're physically nauseous.

This morning I defecated an exact replica of the bar I ate last night. I plan on taking my feces and your bar to shopping malls and asking people to take a bite of each and see if they can tell the difference.

It is true that my butt won't be able to produce as many "Taste Sensations" as your company can, but at over $2 a bar it will be a nice second income for me. Like your company, I will probably only be able to sell one bar to a customer before they decide never to buy from me again -- so I'll have to keep moving all of the time. They'll probably make a movie about me.

Soon to be your competitor...

xxxxxxxx
Bellingham, Massachusetts

Share and Enjoy! is a registered trademark of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints Division, a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.

KeyserSoze · 08-06-2003, 04:49 AM

greathornytoad · 08-06-2003, 04:51 AM

is that for real cause it's really funny

cchris · 08-06-2003, 06:09 AM

Someone pick me up from the floor.

MikeyChalupa · 08-06-2003, 06:25 AM

I once wrote a letter to complain that Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner made my hair smell like "wood chips that a hamster peed on" since that's how my wife described it to me. I figured I'd be as descriptive as possible so they could pinpoint the trouble.

They wrote back a page-long letter that basically said "Sorry. Try another bottle."

-Mikey

troit · 08-06-2003, 06:39 AM

In defense of the "protein bar" makers -- some of those bars are actually pretty good... I eat two to three of them a day to supplement my diet.

Boner · 08-06-2003, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by troit
In defense of the "protein bar" makers -- some of those bars are actually pretty good... I eat two to three of them a day to supplement my diet.

SOME are good. I have to agree with the author of the letter about the Carb Solutions bars. Last year I picked up a box of them at Sam's. They were the nastiest tasting things. They were practically inedible.

I used to really like Bioprotein protein bars, but they are now discontinued.

agentsmith · 08-06-2003, 09:22 AM

lol, man that is priceless! I wonder if she'll get into the protein drink market.

rockogre · 08-06-2003, 09:23 AM

True or not, I enjoyed it!

Katyblu · 08-06-2003, 09:23 AM

I have tried 2 different flavors of that Carb Solutions brand and let me tell you they are the most disgusting things I have ever had.. I never made it past one or two bites... how can you screw up peanut butter?

By the way, that was some funny shit

Fire · 08-06-2003, 09:55 AM

I tried that brand as well- I had just been diagnosed as diabetic and was trying to cut down on carbohydrates- had not had anything sweet for 3 days and thought that would be a welcome change- wrong- I only made it through three bites and havent felt so cheated since windows 95 came out...

Kaos · 08-06-2003, 09:58 AM

I've tried 2 bars (One Chocolate and one Chocolate Peanut Butter) and they were awful.

I tried this chocolate protein drink and it was just as bad...I paid so much for them I tried to choke it down. I was like being in the food challenge on Fear Factor

remiel · 08-06-2003, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MikeyChalupa
I once wrote a letter to complain that Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner made my hair smell like "wood chips that a hamster peed on" since that's how my wife described it to me. I figured I'd be as descriptive as possible so they could pinpoint the trouble.

They wrote back a page-long letter that basically said "Sorry. Try another bottle."

-Mikey

hehehehe!

'Your product sucks and screwed up my hair!'
'Sorry, have some more of it!'

on such non-logic were complaints departments built

sixate · 08-06-2003, 05:19 PM

I think that dude just ate the wrong bar. The ones I eat are really good. Or this guy is just such a slob that never puts anything that's good for him in his mouth and when he actually decided to do it it was a serious shock to his system.

platypus · 08-06-2003, 05:20 PM

I've tried carb Solutions bars before and have to agree with the writer. Truly shit wrapped in foil.

Currently I'm stuck on Atkins Peanut Butter bars. Pretty damn good actualy.

YourNeverThere · 08-06-2003, 08:01 PM

Hahahah thats great i'm much inpressed with your writing

h2ogo69 · 08-10-2003, 10:12 PM

pretty awesome

RoadRage · 08-11-2003, 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by YourNeverThere
Hahahah thats great i'm much inpressed with your writing

I can't take credit. I hijacked it from InternalMemos.com without permission.

C'mon Pud, sue me. I don't have any money anyway.

frogger27 · 08-11-2003, 08:39 AM

man thats funny, those things are nasty!

neoinoakleys · 08-11-2003, 09:14 AM

OMG...that is HILARIOUS!!!!

MarvinHole · 08-11-2003, 09:39 AM

The funny is strong here.

I couldn't agree more about those bars - I grabbed one once on the road and had to scrape my tongue to get it all off

08-06-2003, 04:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
KeyserSoze Psycho Location: Lost Angeles	__________________ THERE IS NO KEYSER SOZE!!

08-06-2003, 06:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Someone pick me up from the floor. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

08-06-2003, 06:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	In defense of the "protein bar" makers -- some of those bars are actually pretty good... I eat two to three of them a day to supplement my diet. __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

08-06-2003, 09:23 AM	#9 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	True or not, I enjoyed it! __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

08-06-2003, 09:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	I tried that brand as well- I had just been diagnosed as diabetic and was trying to cut down on carbohydrates- had not had anything sweet for 3 days and thought that would be a welcome change- wrong- I only made it through three bites and havent felt so cheated since windows 95 came out... __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

08-06-2003, 04:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
greathornytoad Banned Location: vancouver	is that for real cause it's really funny

08-06-2003, 06:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	I once wrote a letter to complain that Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner made my hair smell like "wood chips that a hamster peed on" since that's how my wife described it to me. I figured I'd be as descriptive as possible so they could pinpoint the trouble. They wrote back a page-long letter that basically said "Sorry. Try another bottle." -Mikey

08-06-2003, 09:22 AM	#8 (permalink)
agentsmith Crazy	lol, man that is priceless! I wonder if she'll get into the protein drink market.

08-06-2003, 09:23 AM	#10 (permalink)
Katyblu Crazy Location: Here and there and everywhere	I have tried 2 different flavors of that Carb Solutions brand and let me tell you they are the most disgusting things I have ever had.. I never made it past one or two bites... how can you screw up peanut butter? By the way, that was some funny shit

08-06-2003, 09:58 AM	#12 (permalink)
Kaos Ssssssssss Location: Ontario	I've tried 2 bars (One Chocolate and one Chocolate Peanut Butter) and they were awful. I tried this chocolate protein drink and it was just as bad...I paid so much for them I tried to choke it down. I was like being in the food challenge on Fear Factor

08-06-2003, 05:19 PM	#14 (permalink)
sixate Registered User Location: Somewhere in Ohio	I think that dude just ate the wrong bar. The ones I eat are really good. Or this guy is just such a slob that never puts anything that's good for him in his mouth and when he actually decided to do it it was a serious shock to his system.

08-06-2003, 05:20 PM	#15 (permalink)
platypus Essen meine kurze Hosen Location: NY Burbs	I've tried carb Solutions bars before and have to agree with the writer. Truly shit wrapped in foil. Currently I'm stuck on Atkins Peanut Butter bars. Pretty damn good actualy. __________________ Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

08-06-2003, 08:01 PM	#16 (permalink)
YourNeverThere Practical Anarchist Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood	Hahahah thats great i'm much inpressed with your writing __________________ The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

08-10-2003, 10:12 PM	#17 (permalink)
h2ogo69 Banned	pretty awesome

08-11-2003, 08:39 AM	#19 (permalink)
frogger27 Tilted Location: Kansas	man thats funny, those things are nasty!

08-11-2003, 09:14 AM	#20 (permalink)
neoinoakleys Psycho Location: Michigan	OMG...that is HILARIOUS!!!! __________________ It's My Duty to Please That Booty!!

08-11-2003, 09:39 AM	#21 (permalink)
MarvinHole Upright	The funny is strong here. I couldn't agree more about those bars - I grabbed one once on the road and had to scrape my tongue to get it all off