Explosive

That's hilarious.

JBX

A used bandaid in a Subway Sub we picked up in New Jersey on a road trip to Florida in 1986. By the time Dexter bit into the sub and pulled it out, we weren't going to turn around. Boy did we laugh though.

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"Youth and Strength is no match for Age and Treachery"

yakimushi

I think my worst story was my dads fault...

My family was at Chi-Chi's with my family and girlfriend at the time, as well as my little brothers girfriend. We were having a regular old dinner, the service was great, everything was good up until the end of the dinner. However, it wasn't the service that was poor.

Now, a little background first. My dad is a funny guy, but he's really quiet and serious. He's a retired Marine of 20 years so he typically comes off really kind of stern and stoic. He's not one to make off the wall comments.

So back to dinner, as our server was clearing our plates she asked all of us how our meals were. My dad, out of the blue, says "Everything was pretty good but the beans really sucked!"

Everything ground to a halt. We all looked at my dad with a strange mixture of hilarity and horror... He responds with "What? They did!"

I haven't been to that Chi-Chi's since.

hotzot

we went to a HOJO's for breakfast once, about 8 of us. After about 20 minutes of sitting at our table, our waitress shows up with red rimmed eyes and quite visably upset. We asked her if anything was wrong and she said she was OK and took our order. Remember this is breakfast, the orders were nothing fancy. After about 45 minutes go by we ask another waitress where our waitress went and she said she was on break. I said we ordered 45 minutes ago and still haven't gotten our food. Munching on her gum she said she would look into it. Another 10 minutes go by and we hear from inside the kitchen. "Jesus Christ! I'm going ! I'm going!" next thing we see is our waitress comming through the door with a huge tray and our breakfast. She takes about 4 steps and drops the breakfast on the floor and starts to cry right there. She gets up off the floor and runs back into the kitchen. The other waitress comes out and asks if we'd like a fruit cup. We said no and left to go to IHOP.

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hawkeye

I work at a cafeteria, and the worst thing that I can remember happening on Our end was finding a well cooked latex glove at the bottom of a pan of food.

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You're not fat,
You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.

Regziever

I've worked as a waitor for a couple of months.. I was fairly good at it, but i hated every second of it. You get shit from everybody, your boss, the chef, the idio.. coustomers. In my opinion they should frbid te idea of restaurants simply because of the harsh working-conditions the serving-staff has to endure.. But anyways.. I'd rather be a bum, living on the street than go back to the restaurantbuissines.
Your brain gets completly toasted after a while, it is really degrading waiting on true idiots.

__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

goatfire

this one really isnt that bad but kinda funny.....the basketball team went on a trip and we stopped at a restaurant after one of our games....anyway the waitress asked us our names and the guys made up these corny stupid names just to mess around.....when the waitress came to me i was lazy and just told her my real name......she burst out laughing and said that was the best one yet and asked if i would tell her my real name......i just hung my head in shame

h2ogo69

me and a a few friends got but ass naked in the bathroom of a restraunt by my house and started pisiing int the urinals... w ethoufght it was hilarious but the ppl who walked in looked at us leik "WTF????" and on person who walked in just happened ot be gay... so he was looking at a buffet of ass

madsenj37

One time, on my moms bday, the restaraunt was overcrowded and understaffed. It took about 1.5 hours for teh food to arrive after we ordered it.

i can deal with bad food usually, but when waitresses/waiters ignore you and make you wait and do not ask if you need anything or offer refils it ruins everything. im at a restaurant b/c i dont want to worry about details and i dont want to work.

__________________
"Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe."
-- Albert Einstein

warrrreagl

Each and every fucking time somebody brings a baby to a restaurant.

But I guess if I had to single out one particular episode, it would be as follows:

Place called Wallaby's in Ames, Iowa. It's sort of like a hometown Applebee's. A group of young parents met there for dinner one night and sat near us, and they brought all of their kids. Two of the parents brought bags (yes, BAGS) of toys which were dumped out on the floor, and the place turned into a carnival funhouse. All of the parents clearly had a "oh yeah, do something about it" attitude, and my wife and I were apparently the only people there who didn't think it was cute.

Finally, to top it all off, one of the mothers changed a set of dirty diapers right there at the table.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

onetime2

On a family vacation when I was about 10, driving from NJ to FL, we stopped at a Pizza Hut. Meal seemed great, went back to the hotel where we were spending the night and around 11pm I didn't feel so hot. Went to the bathroom and puked like crazy. As I was going back to bed, passed my sister headed to the bathroom. Everyone in our family alternately went back to the head to get rid of this wonderful meal for the rest of the night.

I couldn't eat or smell Pizza Hut again without feeling sick to my stomach until I was in college. Then I guess the beer just numbed the senses.

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

Coucher

I was at Taco Mac in Marietta, Georgia one day eating with some friends. Ordered a salad, got about halfway into it, and found somebody's credit card receipt in my salad. Needless to say our entire group got half off the bill.

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I use to have a problem finishing things I started, but now I....

battlemouth

i went out to eat at this breakfast joint and ordered a ham and cheese omlet. when i cut into my omlet i found plastic it turned out they used that fake cheese in it that comes individually wrapped and never thought to unwrap it. yum!

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like a bullet through a flock of doves

Tirian

I suggest you try doing anything you can for your EMPLOYEES, and perhaps they in turn will try a little harder for your customers.

I have not worked for you in your resteraunt (at least I think not), so I am speaking about the business in general when I say that....

Employees who are treated like shit treat customers like shit.

tinytim

If you work in a restaurant you can pretty much count on being treated like shit. But at least the money is terrible and the hours are worse.

mtsgsd

While this statement is true, it ignores what he was saying. There are some people who will not work for their paycheck and will do anything they can to slack off. That was the point he was making.

Reminds me of a job I took a long time ago where the only training I received from the current employee was how to say the right things to the boss, how to look busy without doing much, and what kind of excuses work best.

Tirian

Point taken.

On the other hand there must be enough workers who given due respect, and decent work environment you could staff a place. Rid yourself of the above described slackers.

bugdog

We don't like to sit near people with small children and if we are seated next to them, we will ask to be moved (we being my husband and me). Sometimes this is met with good humor, others with dark looks. Once we were moved from where there was one child to were there was one at every table around us. We left.

Our worst experience was at the Mason Jar on 1960 in Houston. We were seated immediatly, but it took a good half an hour for the waiter to come get our order. Ok, I can handle that. Maybe it's busy.

We get our food and it's all wrong. My stuff has peppers in it (I hate peppers and make a friendly point of it when I order something) and my husband's stuff isn't even close to what he actually ordered. Ok, these things happen. I don't say anything about the peppers, but we send back Eric's food.

I discovre that picking out the peppers is no good because this stuff is cooked with them and it all tastes like green pepper, which would be great if I didn't detest the damn things. And, yes, I had asked specifically if what I was ordering had green peppers in it and had been told no, it didn't. Ok, maybe this guy is new or something and didn't know since it wasn't listed on the menu. I'll just eat more bread - uh oh, we didn't actually GET any bread. Hmm.

Eric's actual order never comes back. We never get refills on our cokes (but we now know enough to be thankful that we got the first ones). Eric actually had to go to the bar to get someone to bring us the check... and by this time, the manager. I was ready to be told that the waiter had gone home sick, had a family emergency, become invisable, entered an alternate plane of existance were our table did not reside, died, or whatever, but wait! As soon as the manager appears at our table, so does the waiter!

It was embarrassing. The manager proceeded to chew out the waiter right there at the table. He comped our inedible dinner and gave us a $20 gift certificate (yeah, like we were going to go back), while the waiter stood there with a dead/stoned look in his eye and said nothing. Not 'sorry about that', not 'fuck you', nothing.

We didn't go back. I wouldn't have gone back just because of the manager yelling at the waiter in public. That's just wrong (so's the yelling part.)

Redlemon

I'm pretty lenient, especially after reading Nickeled & Dimed. They are definately going through hell back there.

Personally, I'd prefer it if the prices for the food already included enough for the servers to receive an actual salary, and tips would be just if people felt like it. I mean, I don't tip the people at the movie theatre or the clothing store.

But, that's not the way the USA operates, so I default to 20% unless something has gone horribly wrong, and the fault lies with the server.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

iceberg slim

I've noticed a trend in this thread of gratuities being added to the bill. With the exception of my cruise earlier this year, i have never been presented with a bill already including the tip.

Is this common in american restaurants? Because even in all my travels south of the border i have not experienced this.

Now let me point out that i tend to overtip anyways, so my issue isn't the money. However, if i am ever presented with a restaurant bill with tip included, someone's going to get an earfull in a hurry.

It's not up to them to determine my level of satisfaction for me.

That said.... i'm not hard to please and don't need to be waited on hand and foot to enjoy my restaurant experience.

My other issue is that, as a rule i prefer to tip in cash, even if i pay for the meal with a credit card.

tinytim

Groups of six or more are generally charged gratuity in the US. There are many reasons behind this but the fact is that servers make their money on tips and if they aren't getting them they will move on to to a restaurant where they will. Can't say if it is fair or not, but its usualy printed on the menu, right next to the no splitting bills that the rube's like to ignore.

rival

Rubes? or rather "rube's"? When people go out, they don't always carry large sums of cash on them. It's very common these days for people to use check or credit cards. When several people in a group want to pay with plastic, the bill must be split.

If it is that hard of a task, just let me know and I'll take my check card elsewhere.

Coucher

It bothers me also when servers expect tips. If I don't perform my job duties to a satisfactory level for my company, I don't get rewarded.....I feel that the tip is the motivation for servers to do their job to the best of their ability. Not an expected addition to their salary.

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I use to have a problem finishing things I started, but now I....

Cynthetiq

employees who don't give a shit and just want to get paid do as little as possible.

I don't work in food service but when I had people to manage, I treated them very well and those people that didn't give a crap still didn't give a crap.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

legolas

heh, see I waitored over the summer so I have stories on the flip side...

__________________
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

mystmarimatt

back in like 6th grade, i kept my hair pretty long, so i got a few "and what would you like miss?"'s, but the worst was i asked to go to the bathroom, and the waitress showed me to the ladies room. i literally cut my hair the next day. Hanson syndrome i guess. hehe.

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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

blindawg

Absolute worse I had was in a little town in Michigans upper Penninsula called L'Anse about 30 miles south of Houghton (where Michigan Tech is). I was working for a tower company and we pulled into town after working late. Only place open was this dive called the Night Owl Cafe. Hours 10pm til 4am...

Sign right as you walk in says "Caution: Microwave in Use." Pretty standard sign. Excep they microwaved everythin. Burgers, Chicken, Hotdogs... Even the damn Frenchfries.. Not a grill or a deep fryer in sight.. They cater to the drunk crowd.. thats the only reason I think they stayed in business.. Most god aweful food I've ever had. I ate maybe 5 bites total from my whole meal..

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( • Y • )

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( • Y • )

- Jack Handey

MuTuaL

I was out with my girlfriend at a nice restaurant. We had a decent meal and had coffee afterwards. Well sort of... One of the cups of hot coffee fell off the tray and crashed on the table. Where it got ALL OVER the two of us.

insect2003

that's terrible

im2smrt4u

I guess I've been fairly lucky. Nothing more than the occassional slow service, cold food, or just plain bad food. Usually, I simply mention the problem and it gets fixed quickly.

Now the good service really stands out! The waitresses at one of my favorite places, Tokyo Sushi, practically know me by name, and they know one of my friends by name. I go in there, get seated fast, get my salad and soup quickly, which is soon followed by my sushi, and they always keep my cup full of tea. I'll tip 20% without batting an eye. They take good care of me, I take good care of them.

As far as tips being added on to the bill goes, unless I'm in a large group and it is stated ahead of time, I'm going to have it taken off. Tips are earned, not expected. I'll tip what they deserve, and if they deserve it, they will not be unhappy.

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bulakbol master

I've been rather lucky in terms of service and food.

My dining partners, on the other hand...

My father is a complete ass to people who work in food service, even if they're polite and trying to do their best.

We were once at a seafood restaurant and were about to sit down at a table when a booth was vacated [there were still plates and glasses, etc]. My father proceeded to ask for the booth and started being a jerk to the [rather cute] waitress, since the booth wasn't cleaned the instant he asked. He was rude to her for the rest of the meal -- demanding instant service and complaining that the food took too long to get there [20 minutes].

This worked out to my advantage, however -- after my father left the restaurant, I slipped her a tip and she slipped me her phone number.

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raeanna74

Went to a local KFC and as I walked into the bathroom I saw one of the cooks come out of a stall. They just ignored me and walked on out without even pausing at the sink. I needed to go so I continued and discovered that the bathroom was filthy. It looked a couple days old even. Stains on the floor and seat even. When I got done I went out to complain about the lack of hygene in the employee and the filthy bathroom too. They were told to wash up. Don't really know why I stayed but I did. We got the lunch buffet and there was no chicken or buscuits left except one broken up buscuit and a scrawny wing. I watched a woman come out, run a washcloth across the edge of the counter and around the drink machine. Never stopping to pay attention to the lack of foods. Finally I asked if they were planning on refilling the food anytime soon. They did immediately. Then I noticed that one woman dropped the tongs on the floor as she was replacing the pan of chicken. She just picked it up without even a glance and stuck it in the chicken. I used different tongs to get chicken far from the dirty ones and mentioned it to the manager on the way out. He apologized and said they would try to fix things. I've been back since - don't really know why I do that - and the bathroom didn't look better. I don't think I should go again.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Cubby

Bad restaurant experiences? I've had lots...but I'll go with just one of the restaurants. The restaurant is now out of business so no sense naming it.

A group of were going to the restaurant before a Canucks game. We made a reservation and got to the restaurant and there was no table available and about a 30-40 minute wait. No good...the manager apologized and gave us a free meal.

My wife and I and another couple decided to go try the place considering we had two free meals. So we go to the place and eat and everything is ok..until we try to use the free meal certificate. Turns out they fired that manager about 2 weeks before. Should NOT have mattered at all if the restaurant was good..but they decided not to honour the free meal. We were rightly pissed off.

I don't know why but we decided to go back to this restaurant a third time (this was over the course of a year or so). The food hadn't been too bad and it was the only restaurant around this area. So we go in. We order. I ordered a burger and got one but on some strange buns. Actually turned out all right. My wife orders a caesar salad. And when she tastes it something doesn't taste right. She goes back to the waiter and asks them and is told..get this...

"The kitchen staff have been told they have to use up what's in the kitchen and they can't go out to get anything else. So they used Mayonnaise on the caesar salad instead of..well Caesar dressing."

Absolutely unbelievable. The waitress came out and gave everyone a round of drinks...My wife never got a replacement meal..and we were talking about the bill when the manager came over and ripped it out of my friend's hand (and I mean actually tore it from his grasp). She then said in a very angry voice.."Here..I hope you're happy!" and proceeded to rip up the check.

It was scary....

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DelayedReaction

My family was at a very nice restaurant in DC called Old Ebbitt Grill. The food was fantastic and the dining was very nice, although the waiter was a bit snotty. We're enjoying ourselves thoroughly when at the end of the table, my mom starts laughing.

It turns out there's a moth in her salad. Fortunately it's a whole moth, but a moth nevertheless.

So she turns to the waiter and beckons him over. The waiter smiles, but looks as if he's too important to be bothered. Smiling wider, mom does the "come hither" thing with the finger. The waiter comes over, sees the moth, and his look goes from snooty to "oh shit" in less than a millisecond.

The manager comes out by himself, apologizes profusely, and apparently they cut the bill significantly. At least the look on my grandfather's face seemed to indicate that when he paid it.

All in all a hilarious dining experience.

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If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

santafe5000

Went into a very busy Denny's once and all the empty tables still had dirty dishes on them. After the hostess seated me, the waitress ambles up, asks me if I'd like anything else and hands me a bill for the previous guest. Guess he/she walked.

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When all else fails, QUIT.

skysooner

I generally have pretty good restaurant experiences, but I am easy to please. However there was one night when I went to a Burger King and asked for a burger with everything but pickles and onions. Of course, I got my food, and when I got to the car, it had buns, meat, pickles and onions only. I drove back to the restaurant and pointed to my ticket that said minus pickles and onions, and the cashier told me that the burger was prepared correctly. I was pretty ticked off about it. They ended up fixing it. I did get some free food out of it when I called the Burger King Customer Service line. Moral of the story: Don't eat at Burger King