Would you fight the shark? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

almostaugust · 07-25-2003, 02:52 AM

Hypothetical-
So your swimming in the ocean and there is a Great White Shark heading your way. There is no way you are gonna survive the encounter. Would you rather
a) have the horrible surprise of being attacked with no foreknowledge.
b) Watch the shark coming towards you, knowing your chances are grim, and try and fight it as it eats you?

I think id rather fight it, though it would be horrible seeing it coming towards me.

Nisses · 07-25-2003, 03:17 AM

seeing how I have no idea what a shark is capable of in a fight (agility etc) I would probably wait till it got near me and fight it. Unless I don't even have a knife, then I'd just try and get behind it and clamp on or something.

numberfive · 07-25-2003, 03:20 AM

No way I'm going down without a fight. That shark is up for one hell of an asswhippin' trying to eat me and all.

T.U.B. · 07-25-2003, 03:55 AM

think I will try and explain that i'm really not that tasty...

Or do what the S.A.S. survival handbook describes and shit in my pants, take the shit in hand and trow it away as far as possible. If I can believe the SAS handbook, the shark will go after the shit...

*Nikki* · 07-25-2003, 04:08 AM

I would fight but I don't think I would win. I have seen sharks up close and personal in action. They can kick just about anything's ass.

castex · 07-25-2003, 04:29 AM

Punch it on the nose - very sensitive hooters on those fish.

johnnymysto · 07-25-2003, 04:34 AM

I would attempt to fight. But I'm sure one of the 50000 teeth those things have would probably cut off my fists before I got in a good hit.

Nisses · 07-25-2003, 04:43 AM

castex: that's dogs I think

denim · 07-25-2003, 05:27 AM

I understand that poking it in the eye can have a good effect. Dunno how easy that is, though.

twotimesadingo · 07-25-2003, 06:21 AM

I guess it would depend on the size of the shark. If we're talking Jaws, regardless of if you fight or not you're beyond screwed; if we're being realistic -- 15 or so feet -- there are two basic things you can do:

1.) Remain still as the shark approaches. This really shouldn't be too hard, as you'll probably need all your concentration to not defecate all over yourself. Submerge your head and open your eyes. Yes, the seawater may hurt a bit, but so will an ass full of teeth.

2.) Try to keep your upper torso above the gaping maw of teeth. Focus slashing attacks on the eyes -- literally, dig your thumbs into the eye sockets. It's just about the only way to fight a swimming death machine who's mistaken you for a seal.

A friend of the family once got bitten by a shark when he was surfing out in Cali. He said it was only a 10 footer or so, but it took a nice chunk out of his left shoulder. The only way he got it to let go was to slam his fists into its eyes. I take his word for it.

glophead · 07-25-2003, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by castex
Punch it on the nose - very sensitive hooters on those fish.

I have also heard that Sharks noses are sensitive, so maybe if i could punch it, then it wouldn't attack me.

ephtien807 · 07-25-2003, 07:46 AM

I'd go with the punch it in the nose tactic. A couple of dolphins can drive off a shark with hit and run tactics. they use their hard nose to slam into the shark's soft nose. they don't like that much

spectre · 07-25-2003, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by numberfive
No way I'm going down without a fight. That shark is up for one hell of an asswhippin' trying to eat me and all.

Same here. I'd probably get eaten, but I'm not going out without a fight.

Troublebot · 07-25-2003, 08:11 AM

Kick it in the nuts.

Ok, I'd go for the eyes or nose. At least I'd go down swinging.

TwistedFate · 07-25-2003, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ephtien807
I'd go with the punch it in the nose tactic. A couple of dolphins can drive off a shark with hit and run tactics. they use their hard nose to slam into the shark's soft nose. they don't like that much

I thought dolphins attacked in the side, the "rib" area. The nose thing sounds familiar, though.

To answer the original question, it depends. If the shark is big and would kill me easily, bring it on when I'm unaware and get it over with. A smaller one that I would probably survive, I want to know he's coming so I can prepare to minimize the damage.

I don't how you could do it, but I've heard that the reason shark cages don't have tops is because sharks don't(can't?) attack in a downward direction. If there was a way to get below the shark maybe you could give your self time to get away/distract the shark somehow.

shalafi · 07-25-2003, 09:26 AM

your best bet is to stab your buddy and swim like hell. A good rule of thumb is to always swim with someone who is slow and fat.

clavus · 07-25-2003, 09:39 AM

I would use my psionic powers and make its brain explode.

Cynthetiq · 07-25-2003, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
I would use my psionic powers and make its brain explode.

i would use my aquaman telepathic powers to call all the fishes around me...

mr_burns · 07-25-2003, 10:07 AM

grab onto the big dorel fin. that way it couldn't bite you

JStrider · 07-25-2003, 10:11 AM

give the thing a big ol bear hug and jab at its eyes with anything hard...

rockzilla · 07-25-2003, 10:18 AM

I'd try for the nose or eyes, but I'd probably end up going with the 'shit myself' defense.

butthead · 07-25-2003, 03:01 PM

I CHOOSE TO ALLOW MYSELF TO BE SURPRISED BY THE ATTACK BECAUSE IM <s>A BIG, BRUTE MAN</s> <i>unique</i>.

For another question: would you like to eat a warm cherry pie, or be punched in the face repeatedly? Hmm, I wonder how the board will respond.

What are the advantages of being surprised by the attack?

Oh yeah, that thing about the SAS handbook and flinging shit made me smile.

crow_daw · 07-25-2003, 03:36 PM

Well, I'd do what so many other TFPers have said, and just fuckin wail on that bitches nose and eyes. I'm certain that I've heard about the sensitive noses before, and what creature isn't finicky about their eyes?

Phaenx · 07-25-2003, 03:42 PM

Fight! I'll rip it's head off and mount it on my wall.

m0ntyblack · 07-25-2003, 03:50 PM

Fight!!

"Go for the eyes, Boo!"

MB

Buk · 07-25-2003, 04:06 PM

definitely fight it.

I'd look right into its gaping maw as it opened wide to swallow me, ready to beat it with my arms as it chomped down on me.

That's gotta be a shitty way to go though, you don't die until you bleed to death or he cuts your head off. Maybe you go into shock, but you are still aware...

Gortexfogg · 07-25-2003, 04:33 PM

I'd do my best to get on the back of the shark, grab his fin and confuse him or something... or maybe hang on to his tail. Of course, I can't hold my breath for a long time so that might not work.

If there were any seals nearby, I'd swim towards them.

furious · 07-25-2003, 04:43 PM

The deal with sharks is.. you usually have no idea its going to fuck with you until you are in its mouth.

Where i live we get shark attacks semi often.. in fact one of my local beaches had some dude killed by a shark a year or 2 ago.

Took his leg in one go and he bled to death... was only a small shark too.

Personally if i was in its mouth and the fucker was getting all rowdy i'd be like...

"Yo bi-ach why is yo dis rizpekin ma shit"

Then id probably die or something.

Cynthetiq · 07-25-2003, 04:49 PM

hmmm I realized I didn't really answer the question...

I'm going down fighting.... I don't care if it's freakin' Godzilla...

monty121052 · 07-25-2003, 04:58 PM

I recon I,d shit myself so much it would lose its sense of smell for a start and would'nt be able to find me in the merk.

vermin · 07-25-2003, 05:17 PM

I avoid these situations by living hundreds and hundreds of miles away from saltwater.

But maybe if you swam at the shark you could get all the way inside past the teeth before he had a chance to bite. Then you just start tearing at the soft tissue inside till it's dead, then swim back out. Or stick your arms and legs inside his fins and swim using it like a shark suit. Ya never know 'till ya try.

90degree · 07-25-2003, 05:39 PM

the thing is.. they dont eat u while u are alive.. they take a bite .. thrash you around.. .. and if you are still alive.. they just wait till u expire. If you are to far from shore to get back.. you are probably going to die.

but yeah.. the eyes.. and .. depending on the size.. hitting the nose.. .. but.. try to do anything once an animal that consists of one large muscle bites down on you and jerks you around till either a huge chunk of flesh.. or a limb comes offf.

bundy · 07-25-2003, 05:56 PM

i´d release my ELECTRIC personality, and its horizontal line sense would realise i wasn´t a tasty treat.

failing that, if i could think straight, i´d focus my attacks (like everyone has said here before) on its eyes and nose.

Phaenx · 07-25-2003, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buk
definitely fight it.

I'd look right into its gaping maw as it opened wide to swallow me, ready to beat it with my arms as it chomped down on me.

That's gotta be a shitty way to go though, you don't die until you bleed to death or he cuts your head off. Maybe you go into shock, but you are still aware...

As opposed to shitting yourself as a slobbering old crusty man? I'll take the shark Pat.

Memalvada · 07-25-2003, 06:26 PM

I wont go down without a fight! Bring on the stupid beast!

Ill give it hell!!!

Gorgo · 07-25-2003, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by almostaugust
Hypothetical-
So your swimming in the ocean and there is a Great White Shark heading your way. There is no way you are gonna survive the encounter. Would you rather
a) have the horrible surprise of being attacked with no foreknowledge.
b) Watch the shark coming towards you, knowing your chances are grim, and try and fight it as it eats you?

I think id rather fight it, though it would be horrible seeing it coming towards me.

How about option c) get the hell back in the damn boat and stop being a dumass.

Otherwise, the SAS thing sounds better than beating it in the eye with the arm it isn't eating

guthmund · 07-25-2003, 11:18 PM

In all honesty, this is a pretty silly question.....reminds me of that Eddie Izzard skit....

"cake or death?"
"umm....cake please."

I guess I would do everything I could think of to drive the shark back. Punch it in the nose; gouge out it's eyes; shit myself; distract it with street magic; whatever it takes to get it to go the hell away.

Sidenote: I read a story once where a guy had his arm completely torn off while being attacked and beat the shark off of him with his detached appendage. I don't know if I'd be that imaginative especially with all my bits floating out in the water, but it's possible, eh?

bluearmy · 07-26-2003, 03:21 AM

Living in the Uk the only thing that would attack me in the water would be a floating turd or a used condom.

GoldenOuroboros · 07-26-2003, 03:37 AM

Best thing to do is punch it in the nose.. cause that's where most of it's sensory receptors are.. or poke it in the eye or jab it in the gills.. something like that..

asdf4321 · 07-26-2003, 11:23 AM

I've actually heard that the eyes and gills are much more sensitive than the nose, contrary to common thought and Tomb Raider 2. So tear out that bitch's eyes, yo, and stop wasting time with the nose. Prevention would help too... Like getting shark repellant, a boat, a spear gun, or an underwater chainsaw... Of course the bloody mayhem would probably attract more sharks but that just adds to the fun, now doesn't it.

07-25-2003, 02:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
almostaugust Junkie Location: Oz	Would you fight the shark? Hypothetical- So your swimming in the ocean and there is a Great White Shark heading your way. There is no way you are gonna survive the encounter. Would you rather a) have the horrible surprise of being attacked with no foreknowledge. b) Watch the shark coming towards you, knowing your chances are grim, and try and fight it as it eats you? I think id rather fight it, though it would be horrible seeing it coming towards me.

07-25-2003, 03:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	seeing how I have no idea what a shark is capable of in a fight (agility etc) I would probably wait till it got near me and fight it. Unless I don't even have a knife, then I'd just try and get behind it and clamp on or something. __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

07-25-2003, 03:55 AM	#4 (permalink)
T.U.B. Crazy Location: Belgium	think I will try and explain that i'm really not that tasty... Or do what the S.A.S. survival handbook describes and shit in my pants, take the shit in hand and trow it away as far as possible. If I can believe the SAS handbook, the shark will go after the shit... __________________ Amerika by Franz Kafka “As Karl Rossman, a poor boy of sixteen who had been packed off to America by his parents because a servant girl had seduced him and got herself a child by him, stood on the liner slowly entering the harbour of New York, a sudden burst of sunshine seemed to illumine the Statue of Liberty, so that he saw it in a new light, although he had sighted it long before. The arm with the sword rose up as if newly stretched aloft, and round the figure blew the free winds of heaven.”

07-25-2003, 04:34 AM	#7 (permalink)
johnnymysto Overreactor Location: South Ca'lina	I would attempt to fight. But I'm sure one of the 50000 teeth those things have would probably cut off my fists before I got in a good hit. __________________ "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

07-25-2003, 04:43 AM	#8 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	castex: that's dogs I think __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

07-25-2003, 03:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
numberfive You + Me = Us Location: California dreaming...	No way I'm going down without a fight. That shark is up for one hell of an asswhippin' trying to eat me and all.

07-25-2003, 04:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	I would fight but I don't think I would win. I have seen sharks up close and personal in action. They can kick just about anything's ass.

07-25-2003, 04:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
castex Psycho Location: france	Punch it on the nose - very sensitive hooters on those fish.

07-25-2003, 05:27 AM	#9 (permalink)
denim Banned Location: Massachusetts, USA	I understand that poking it in the eye can have a good effect. Dunno how easy that is, though.

07-25-2003, 06:21 AM	#10 (permalink)
twotimesadingo Psycho Location: that place with the thing	I guess it would depend on the size of the shark. If we're talking Jaws, regardless of if you fight or not you're beyond screwed; if we're being realistic -- 15 or so feet -- there are two basic things you can do: 1.) Remain still as the shark approaches. This really shouldn't be too hard, as you'll probably need all your concentration to not defecate all over yourself. Submerge your head and open your eyes. Yes, the seawater may hurt a bit, but so will an ass full of teeth. 2.) Try to keep your upper torso above the gaping maw of teeth. Focus slashing attacks on the eyes -- literally, dig your thumbs into the eye sockets. It's just about the only way to fight a swimming death machine who's mistaken you for a seal. A friend of the family once got bitten by a shark when he was surfing out in Cali. He said it was only a 10 footer or so, but it took a nice chunk out of his left shoulder. The only way he got it to let go was to slam his fists into its eyes. I take his word for it. __________________ I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son. They're one and the same I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself." - A Perfect Circle

07-25-2003, 07:46 AM	#12 (permalink)
ephtien807 Upright	I'd go with the punch it in the nose tactic. A couple of dolphins can drive off a shark with hit and run tactics. they use their hard nose to slam into the shark's soft nose. they don't like that much

07-25-2003, 08:11 AM	#14 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Kick it in the nuts. Ok, I'd go for the eyes or nose. At least I'd go down swinging. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

07-25-2003, 09:26 AM	#16 (permalink)
shalafi ARRRRRRRRRR Location: Stuart, Florida	your best bet is to stab your buddy and swim like hell. A good rule of thumb is to always swim with someone who is slow and fat.

07-25-2003, 09:39 AM	#17 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	I would use my psionic powers and make its brain explode. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

07-25-2003, 10:07 AM	#19 (permalink)
mr_burns Upright	grab onto the big dorel fin. that way it couldn't bite you

07-25-2003, 10:11 AM	#20 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	give the thing a big ol bear hug and jab at its eyes with anything hard... __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

07-25-2003, 10:18 AM	#21 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	I'd try for the nose or eyes, but I'd probably end up going with the 'shit myself' defense.

07-25-2003, 03:01 PM	#22 (permalink)
butthead Loser Location: SF Bay Area, CA	I CHOOSE TO ALLOW MYSELF TO BE SURPRISED BY THE ATTACK BECAUSE IM <s>A BIG, BRUTE MAN</s> <i>unique</i>. For another question: would you like to eat a warm cherry pie, or be punched in the face repeatedly? Hmm, I wonder how the board will respond. What are the advantages of being surprised by the attack? Oh yeah, that thing about the SAS handbook and flinging shit made me smile. Last edited by butthead; 07-25-2003 at 03:05 PM..

07-25-2003, 03:36 PM	#23 (permalink)
crow_daw Idolator Location: Vol Country	Well, I'd do what so many other TFPers have said, and just fuckin wail on that bitches nose and eyes. I'm certain that I've heard about the sensitive noses before, and what creature isn't finicky about their eyes? __________________ "We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

07-25-2003, 03:42 PM	#24 (permalink)
Phaenx The Northern Ward Location: Columbus, Ohio	Fight! I'll rip it's head off and mount it on my wall. __________________ "I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

07-25-2003, 03:50 PM	#25 (permalink)
m0ntyblack Crazy	Fight!! "Go for the eyes, Boo!" MB

07-25-2003, 04:06 PM	#26 (permalink)
Buk Addict Location: Seattle, WA	definitely fight it. I'd look right into its gaping maw as it opened wide to swallow me, ready to beat it with my arms as it chomped down on me. That's gotta be a shitty way to go though, you don't die until you bleed to death or he cuts your head off. Maybe you go into shock, but you are still aware...

07-25-2003, 04:33 PM	#27 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	I'd do my best to get on the back of the shark, grab his fin and confuse him or something... or maybe hang on to his tail. Of course, I can't hold my breath for a long time so that might not work. If there were any seals nearby, I'd swim towards them.

07-25-2003, 04:43 PM	#28 (permalink)
furious Good enough to f*ck your mother... Location: Constant State Of Denial	The deal with sharks is.. you usually have no idea its going to fuck with you until you are in its mouth. Where i live we get shark attacks semi often.. in fact one of my local beaches had some dude killed by a shark a year or 2 ago. Took his leg in one go and he bled to death... was only a small shark too. Personally if i was in its mouth and the fucker was getting all rowdy i'd be like... "Yo bi-ach why is yo dis rizpekin ma shit" Then id probably die or something. __________________ «Ex Pr0n Special Forces Sgt Looking for Mercenary Work in Liberation Army» «Can provide references»

07-25-2003, 04:49 PM	#29 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	hmmm I realized I didn't really answer the question... I'm going down fighting.... I don't care if it's freakin' Godzilla... __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

07-25-2003, 04:58 PM	#30 (permalink)
monty121052 Insane Location: Newcastle-Australia	I recon I,d shit myself so much it would lose its sense of smell for a start and would'nt be able to find me in the merk.

07-25-2003, 05:17 PM	#31 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	I avoid these situations by living hundreds and hundreds of miles away from saltwater. But maybe if you swam at the shark you could get all the way inside past the teeth before he had a chance to bite. Then you just start tearing at the soft tissue inside till it's dead, then swim back out. Or stick your arms and legs inside his fins and swim using it like a shark suit. Ya never know 'till ya try. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

07-25-2003, 05:39 PM	#32 (permalink)
90degree Insane	the thing is.. they dont eat u while u are alive.. they take a bite .. thrash you around.. .. and if you are still alive.. they just wait till u expire. If you are to far from shore to get back.. you are probably going to die. but yeah.. the eyes.. and .. depending on the size.. hitting the nose.. .. but.. try to do anything once an animal that consists of one large muscle bites down on you and jerks you around till either a huge chunk of flesh.. or a limb comes offf.

07-25-2003, 05:56 PM	#33 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	i´d release my ELECTRIC personality, and its horizontal line sense would realise i wasn´t a tasty treat. failing that, if i could think straight, i´d focus my attacks (like everyone has said here before) on its eyes and nose. __________________ Ohayo!!!

07-25-2003, 06:26 PM	#35 (permalink)
Memalvada Psycho Location: South of the border	I wont go down without a fight! Bring on the stupid beast! Ill give it hell!!! __________________ "The weak are food for the strong, so die and let me feast!" - Makoto Shishio (RK)

07-25-2003, 11:18 PM	#37 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	In all honesty, this is a pretty silly question.....reminds me of that Eddie Izzard skit.... "cake or death?" "umm....cake please." I guess I would do everything I could think of to drive the shark back. Punch it in the nose; gouge out it's eyes; shit myself; distract it with street magic; whatever it takes to get it to go the hell away. Sidenote: I read a story once where a guy had his arm completely torn off while being attacked and beat the shark off of him with his detached appendage. I don't know if I'd be that imaginative especially with all my bits floating out in the water, but it's possible, eh? __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

07-26-2003, 03:21 AM	#38 (permalink)
bluearmy Insane Location: uk	Living in the Uk the only thing that would attack me in the water would be a floating turd or a used condom.

07-26-2003, 03:37 AM	#39 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	Best thing to do is punch it in the nose.. cause that's where most of it's sensory receptors are.. or poke it in the eye or jab it in the gills.. something like that.. __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

07-26-2003, 11:23 AM	#40 (permalink)
asdf4321 Upright Location: Houston	I've actually heard that the eyes and gills are much more sensitive than the nose, contrary to common thought and Tomb Raider 2. So tear out that bitch's eyes, yo, and stop wasting time with the nose. Prevention would help too... Like getting shark repellant, a boat, a spear gun, or an underwater chainsaw... Of course the bloody mayhem would probably attract more sharks but that just adds to the fun, now doesn't it. __________________ Rar-poop! Combination dinosaur noise and the sound of.. well, you know.