Bay (Bare) to Breakers
 

The other night I was talking to amonkie about this run and with all the runners we have on the forum, (me not being one of them) I figured this topic might be interesting.

Link: NSFW
BARE TO BREAKERS - Official Nude Runners' Bay To Breakers Website.
Link: SFW
Bay To Breakers - Home

Basically, this is an offshoot of the annual Bay to Breakers run in San Francisco. Bay to Breakers seems to attract all sorts of runners. Some people wear the typical running garb while others wear ridiculous costumes. Bare to Breakers is a group that runs the race nude. Many will do silly things like dying pubic hair outrageous colors to painting their entire bodies.

While I am not a runner, even if I was I am not sure I could run the race in the nude. For one, as amonkie and I were discussing, the girls bouncing would hurt! Maybe this isn't a problem for smaller breasted women. I would imagine man junk bouncing might become uncomfortable as well. Maybe if I was in better shape and other things didn't bounce along with the girls, I might be tempted to do it. I can imagine that it would be quite a freeing and exhilarating experience.

I knew a few people in my undergrad who went, and I think the guy did if not nude then at least mostly nude. Said it was a blast and that everyone is really friendly.

So to the runners and non-runners alike, would any of you be willing to not only run this race but do it while naked? Why or why not? What do you think you would get out of it? If you are not comfortable being completely nude would you wear a costume or some skimpy bit of clothing?

A: I'm fugly enough with my clothes on. Nobody wants to see me naked. Really.

B: Running X miles without support for my meat morning star is a really bad idea.

...

I don't wanna come off sounding like One of Those Hetero White Guys (TM), but these kinda events are usually just for fruitloops.

Before anybody calls me names, I'd just like to point out that there aren't too many Straight Guy Naked Events out there. Just aren't.

Growing up the way I did and working in the circles that I do, men are only naked for two things: showering and banging girls.

Sure, I'd do something like this. I'm not a runner really, so so I wouldn't be going too fast-which would probably help with the man stuff bouncing around too much.

You could always just wear a plastic vest around the chest-that way you won't knock yourself out, but you can also participate in the 'nude' aspect. Something like this-(NSFW) Plastilicious.com - Plastic Fetish Photography

I'm fairly certain it'd still be a problem. Boobs are lumps of flesh hanging off the body without strong muscles holding them in place. So regardless of size, this sounds like a horrendous idea. I mean, balls are pretty small (by comparison to boobies), and that's still hurt like a motha, right? Sports bras were invented for a reason, and that reason was not to trap boobs in a place inaccessible to men, as I've heard theorized.

Besides, what's the point of a naked run when it limits the size of exposed boobs to "small enough to not bounce"? I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS CONCEPT.

I'm pretty sure I've used the word "boobs" enough for this post.

Anyway. There's some sort of thing like this in Seattle too that just happened, except you have to wear a pumpkin somewhere on your body? I don't know. I didn't bother to look it up because it sounds horrifying, but someone mentioned it to me. I don't want the innards of a pumpkin anywhere on my naked flesh, thank you.

Well there is a whole guide on the first site I posted but I have yet to look at it. It states you need about an hour to read through everything and it is in a format my computer doesn't like.

Much more eloquently stated than I could have. :lol:

Having run naked in the past - the longest was about 5 miles, but I was drunk at the time - it's really not that big a deal. Human bodies are designed to run long distances while naked. That's one of the unique things about humans as carnivores: we wound our prey and chase it until it dies. If Ong and Urk could throw hit a widebeast with a spear, the thing would run off into the bushes to die. If they wanted to get busy with Blag (what with her hot unibrow and all), they had to go chasing the wildebeast through the bush, hack off some meat and use it to convince Blag to spread those thighs for some thigh meat.

I have no idea how the biomechanics on a woman work, but for guys, our junk tends to swing from side to side instead of up and down. And there's usually some shrinkage since there's a breeze and sweat.

Back in the day, I would have done this in a heartbeat (and tried to win it), but now that I'm fighting the fight against suburbia, I don't have the time or inclination.

Not that anyone wants to see me naked anyway.

There is a huge tactical advantage to wearing pants. I know it's a crutch, but I can't get over it.

no way would i ever do this, in addition to probably being really really ucomfortable. i'm very modest about who i show my body to.

For goodness sake! Humans have been running around naked for millions years with no ill effects! Such lame excuses! I've ran the B2B naked several times and my "morning meat" is just as good as it was!

So, man up and show em what you made of!

roger

Sounds like an adventure that would be difficult to train for. Costumes are fun enough, nude could be a blast, but not something I'm about to hop into.

I'd have 2 black eyes if I did that.

Sounds fun though.