Baraka_Guru

This caught my eye mainly because it was just last night that I realized how annoying I found it when people's Facebook profile pics are replaced with photos of their ultrasound or their children. Call me a purist, but profile pics should generally have a picture of you, not someone else. I find it a bit off putting when I see someone's name and a photo of someone else, especially a child.

I'm actually a bit less annoyed by people who post silly or ironic photos of random things, but in those cases, it's usually because of concerns over privacy regarding photographs.

So is this an issue? Is it totally okay to post you children on Facebook, etc.? I'm constantly reminding people that posting to the Internet is like publishing something in a traditional sense. Once it's out there, you can't really get it back.

While I'm sure many of these mothers have set their privacy to "friends only," I'm sure many of them haven't. Many are probably just happy about sharing their "bundle of joy," even to go so far as to create a whole website for the world to see.

So.... dangerous or just annoying?

Will this go too far? How far is too far?

Am I just in a bad mood?

Social media babies: More than a third of Canadian moms post sonograms online - Digital Life

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

genuinegirly

The ones that bother me are the parents who post naked images of their babies/toddlers - and those who post photos that would embarrass their child later. Tasteful, professional photos get a thumbs-up. But the whole child as your profile pic thing makes me wonder if they have lost their personal identity in the process of raising that child.

Baraka_Guru

Yeah, I always think that in the back of my mind. Part of that has to do with the fact that I've seen too many parents become all about their children. I know it's important to provide for your children in the best way you can, but do you really have to lose yourself in the process? You'd think the best role models are those who have their own interests, personalities, and lives on top of being able to be a great parent.

Anyway, that's another topic. (Or is it?) But what do I know? I'm just a selfish child-free ignoramus.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

AquaFox

this whole upcoming generation is going to have their lives from birth to teen and onward completely published online for everyone to see... It gets a bit disturbing when too much is posted... i'm curious to just how they will deal with some of the stuff when they get older.

I'm kinda glad my parents don't have facebook. in order to see my embarrassing childhood photos, your only option would actually have to come over my house and spend an hour looking in shoe boxes with my mom.

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...AquaFox...

raging moderate

i can't imagine what the next generation of politics will be like. pictures...of... EVERYTHING!! "So, tipper gore, jr., i see you got shitfaced at a party 20 years ago. do you think that makes you a good role model for our children?"

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These are the good old days...



formerly Murp0434

telekinetic

I have a blog for my daughter, and will have a blog for my next one. I have not only posted sonograms online, I've posted sonograms on TFP specifically!

I see no non-fearmongering reason not to share pictures of my children, particularly on the blog, which is targeted at all the family across the country who can't share in her little day-to-day adventures.

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twisted no more

Plan9

Stop talking about me through you.

...

I agree with a lot of the "WTF?" comments on this thread. This topic makes my blood boil.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Xerxys

I don't really care. I like seeing pictures of people with names underneath them. Kids included.

ring

I'm a free wheeling bare butt narcissist who would post naked baby pictures of herself.

I worry more about, should I have hyphenated free-wheeling & bare-butt.

What's this "Vote Naked" campaign I hear about?

I say bring on the gawky acne puberty pics too. 'It's just us here people' folks,
dead & gone in a few blinks. Yowza.

I can only imagine about the having children thing, & if the moms & dads are that into it & happy,
I'm not going to rain on their joy. I don't do baby showers though.

Plan9

Yeah, narcissism is a tough hobby for me. I was even uglier as a child.

And keep pictures of your booger-eaters to yourself, I say.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

dlish

say Plan9..want to befriend me on FB?

ive got plenty of of baby-booger pics to share with you.

WARNING: Befriending me can ruin your employment chances

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Plan9

Turns out I don't have Facebook.

How have you missed my rants?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ourcrazymodern?

What is anybody afraid of?

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

hunnychile

If I had kids, I would Never show pics of them online. Never - Ever. And I seldom use the word "Never".

Luckily I don't have kids, and that's by choice BTW...and it's one less major worry for me and my family. There are far too many freaks out there who have their own reasons to create pain for others. Online forums & facebook just make it all the easier.

__________________
"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

mixedmedia

I post photos of my daughter on facebook, in my flickr account and occasionally on my blog. I've even posted photos of her here. She is a part of my life - a very significant part of my life and photography is my chosen hobby. I choose not to indulge in the fearful 'perverts on the internet' meme. I mean, come on, to follow through in an honest way one would have to not let their child ever leave the house. Internet demographics are fairly much in direct proportion to society in this day and age.

I do have my facebook account privileges set to 'friends only' for everything...not because I am fearful of other people seeing my photos, but because there's no reason for someone I don't know to have access to the material I have uploaded there.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

spindles

It is kinda annoying when you are searching on facebook if the user's image is not them. It is also annoying if it is a family shot. Trying to see if you recognise someone from a thumbnailed family photo is crap.

With respect to posting kids pics - this is one of the main functions of facebook - sharing pictures with friends - whether it is your kids or otherwise. This is a definite need to think about what you are posting, but that doesn't mean not posting any pictures at all.

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who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

MeltedMetalGlob

My old lady has posted pics of our daughter on FB and tagged my name to them- which irritates me to no end. On my own end, my FB profile pic was always of me, or my daughter and me only.

I speak of my FB account in the past tense, because I recently deactivated it- and am much happier for it.

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How's your mom, Ed?

Charlatan

I post pictures of my kids on FB. I really don't have an issues with it (clearly).

That said, I have set my privacy setting on my photos (and the rest of my profile as well) to only show photos to my friends (i.e. not friends of friends or others).

Welcome to the future. Privacy is a lot different here. Get used to it.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

telekinetic

We now have a top level domain family blog with constantly updated pictures of the whole family and our adventures, including those of our two girls.

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twisted no more

chinese crested

I dont use pictures of my dogs - one of them wrote an article that was published in a local paper last year - advice for potential dog owners. I would have loved to have put a photo of him - perhaps with glasses and a quill in his paw - but I would have feared putting one of my animals at risk, putting my friend and companion at risk. Perhaps when deciding what childrens pictures you want to put out there as a proud parent, you should pause for a moment and remember your own parents advancing on people with cringe worthy (to you) photos of you which they find cute or funny. Remember. When you are in the twilight home for the mentaly incompetent - they will be in a position to get even. There will be moments in your decline you would rather, I suspect, keep an air of mystery over.

jewels

And, BTW, my kids were never embarrassed by their baby booty shots.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

chinese crested

jewels - they are lucky (although you still have time). My mothers favorite was to drag out a picture of me on a potty to show around - ike to boyfriends. The photos my son has me hide are the school shots with acne.

Baraka_Guru

And then there's that issue of GPS-tagged photos via smartphones. You know, that thing that could allow strangers to pinpoint the location of photo-takers via the photos themselves.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Charlatan

That is a separate issue. The photos themselves are not the issue at all.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Baraka_Guru

At all?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Charlatan

I don't really think so, no. No more than posting a picture of yourself.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

levite

I don't see anything wrong with posting pics of one's kids in general, so long as the pics are clothed, and not likely to be embarrassing to the kid later in life.

But I have to say I really hate people who post pics of their kids as their profile pic on FB. That to me just says "I have no identity. I hope this child will have one for me."

And while I don't think there's anything wrong with posting family pictures, I'm sorry, but nobody needs to see a couple of dozen weekly pic updates about the daily life of your little kid. Post, don't flood. I get it, you're a happy and proud parent. I'm glad for you. Mazel tov. Now get a grip.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Baraka_Guru

For several of my FB friends, Facebook kind of is "Kidsbook." Beyond the profile pics, you get kids being the topic of 99% of status updates. The only exception is on Mother's Day, when it's about how awesome and sacred it is being a mother.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Charlatan

Again, it's a different issue than the issue of posting pictures.

There are many (too many) people who only live for their kids. As with everything, it should be a balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

lunxpress

I don’t see any reason to post my children online and yes, I feel it is annoying to be bombarded with other people’s personal pics. I become infuriated when other people tag my sons, without my permission, as well. I have a very private file for my children on my fb page, which is designated specifically for my family and close friends. I can’t imagine why anyone else would want to scroll through another redundant Disney file. I am private, by nature, and do not wish to make it easier for the voyeurs of the world to pilfer through my family’s business. There is always some stratetegy behind what I post. It is never a random unload of the mundane, as I try to remain sensitive to and aware of those on the receiving end.

I have very limited photos of my personal life posted online. I’ve managed to keep my SO secret for years, so much so, that a few of my friends have insinuated that he doesn’t even exist. This does not mean I am not proud or that I don’t care about them. I am simply trying to protect them and preserve some necessary boundaries that tend to get blurred amidst a sea of photos.

As far as maintaining your own identity separate from your children, this is easier said than done. Not losing onesself in the process of childrearing has become a personal challenge of mine, and certainly that of countless others. But, I do find the need to over share to be somewhat endearing, as it is usually done with good intentions. I just feel that being elusive is more compelling and safer than being exposed. So, we are hiding out.

I’ve always felt that ultrasound pics, in general, are the ultimate invasion of the most sacred of all spaces.

What’s next? Photos of the winning sperm?

“ Isn’t he ADORABLE?”

CinnamonGirl

Indeed. A couple of my friends recently used those 3D ultrasounds as their profile pics, and while I understand why they love them, to everyone else, it was just CREEPY.

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Charlatan

I think lunxpress points out something that we have discussed here in the past, the division between online life and real life*. Facebook, more than any other site previously, brought my real life online. Places like TFP, when I first started hanging out here in 2003, were places to be anonymous.

Life online was one that we kept sheltered, largely, from our activities in real life. We hide behind avatars and nicknames. We also tended to engage with others in ways that in real life, we never would (anything from hot political discussion and flaming to flirtatious behaviour and out and out cybersex). With the advent of Facebook (and, yes, there are other sites that fall into this category but Facebook is the one that brought us over the tipping point) our real life came online.

For me, this was initially an issue. I didn't want my real life friends and family to have any clue about TFP and vice versa. I would not befriend TFP friends on Facebook. The mashing of the two, and more importantly, the possibility of some real life people discovering things that I may have posted on TFP was not cool.

As Facebook became a bigger part of my online experience, I ceased to care about this distinction. I still don't encourage, or really want, real life friends to discover TFP but I am not so fussed if they do.

Let's face it, the wild west days of the anonymous Internet are gone. Privacy, is not the same (if it ever was) as it was. Technology is changing us in many ways but especially in our social interactions. You can fight it but you can't escape it and you certainly can't go back to the way it was. It is more important now to learn how to filter and direct the flow of your information than try to stop it.



* I do see online life as real life but am making this distinction of real vs. online for ease of discussion

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Ourcrazymodern?

I like that term, "winning sperm." We're all pictures of winning sperm. My head is still swimming. Perverts should not control our lives. We give them that power why?

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

raging moderate

Yeah, done and done. Never is the appropriate term. If they (or anyone) want to post pics online of themselves, that's their prerogative but i'm not ever going to post pics of my daughter b/c our intimate moments are ours, not to be shared. Plus I don't want any weirdos looking at my baby daughter....no.

I don't even have Facebook as I think the whole think is kinda stupid anyway. Not that this is that thread

---------- Post added at 01:37 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:36 AM ----------

haha yeah those are creepy!

---------- Post added at 01:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:37 AM ----------

yeah, I've heard people talk about websites that track when people "check in" at other places and show that they are away from there homes so people can break in. I'm much too lazy to investigate the truth of the matter ,but even if there's not an actual site that gathers the data, I still think it's stupid to tip your hand too much.


MULTIPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________

These are the good old days...



formerly Murp0434

crazypants

I think that people need to use discretion when posting these picture on the WORLD WIDE WEB. Ya, it's great to have a few random pictures of your kid...whatever. But seriously, you don't need 18 million folders of them and you need to make sure that is is appropriate. I don't care how private your profile is. Facebook is tricky and strangers are creepy.

A friend of mine has pictures of her daughter butt ass naked all over facebook. easily 30 or 40 pictures of the kid just running around and playing. It's cute to show family, but your 4 year old shouldn't be plastered on the internet