clavus

Wasps have been swarming around my mailbox for days now. They don't go inside the mailbox. They aren't eating anything on the mailbox. In fact, they don't even land on the damn thing. They buzz around it, occasionally hovering above the left side of the handle, before zipping back into the air space over my US Postmaster approved mail receptacle.

At first, there were a few wasps; maybe nine or ten. They were easy to ignore when I fetched the mail. But the swarm has grown. It is a small cloud of wasps that buzz me angrily whenever I get near.

Yesterday, I charged in with a can of Raid. I sprayed it on the box, in the box, and on any wasp nearby. The swarm abated for all of ten seconds before reforming and driving right at me like some insectoid Charge of the Light Brigade. Many wasps were lost in the charge, but when one landed on my finger, I screamed a nasty word, dropped the can of Raid and fled. I felt like Whinnie the goddamn Pooh, chased by bees in that old cartoon.

The fact that I covered the mailbox with deadly bug poison did not seem to faze the wasps a bit. They resumed their swarming. So I moved on to plan C. (Plan B, was to pour gasoline on the mailbox and light it, but that plan was vetoed by a certain someone who never lets me have any fun with gasoline and fire.) Plan C involves a Wasp & Yellow Jacket Trap. I bought one, poured the oogy-smelling wasp attractant into it, and hung the trap ten feet from my mailbox. I figured that was close enough for them to smell it, but far enough to move the swarm away from my Duluth Trading Company catalogs and credit card bills.

No dice. The trap was ignored like women's professional basketball.

I moved the trap five feet away. As of this writing the trap is still unoccupied. There are roughly a hundred wasps flying around my mailbox, however.

It may be time to give Plan B more serious consideration.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Plan9

Dude, Plan B. Fire works wonders.

Xerxys

If I may suggest plan B2 ... Rake a couple of dry leaves close by like maybe 5 ft away and smolder a small fire. The smoke should be irritating enough to send them away.

Daniel_

Forget gasoline.

You need a can of hair lacquer and a lighter. Instant mobile wasp crematorium with much lower chance of torching the house.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

LordEden

What about a bug bomb and a big tarp? Set the thing off under your mailbox and throw a tarp on it and run.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

noodle

i like fire.

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KirStang

Huh. You use that wasp killer stuff that sprays 18 feet? Was the Raid specially formulated for wasps? I remember seriously messing up some punk-ass wasps with that kind of stuff back in the day....

Fotzlid

You need to find the nest first. It could be underground if there is nothing obvious hanging anywhere.
They will keep coming back so long as the nest is intact. Protecting the queen and all that or however wasps divide labor.
A healthy blast of high pressure water will destroy their paper mache fortress and force them to seek refuge somewhere else. Can be done from a safe distance and you can pick off any that fly in your direction. A strong shower type spray can be effective in keeping them at bay.
Just be sure to knock the entire thing down. If its just damaged, they will rebuild it almost overnight.
If you have a truly monstrous nest, you'll have to hire someone to get rid of it unless you want to buy a bee suit.

G5_Todd

funny read...when you do plan B please have your wife tape it...

__________________
"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks

Shauk

I want to see this swarm, on video. Do it.

Fremen

They want you to bee their overlord.

__________________
Google

dlish

you need to get rid of their nest. theres a nest around somewhere. you need to find it and make sure its gone.

id use fire crackers if i could get my hands on them....dont forget to post the video link.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Lady Bear Cub

We had the same problem recently only the nests were in our crappy "enclosed" front porch/deck thing. They had made nests in some boxes we had stored in there. The landlord pulled them all out and set them on fire in the front yard.

I vote plan b.

__________________
"I give myself very good advice,
But I very seldom follow it,
Will I ever learn to do the things I should?"

Greyfurgang

Sorry I'm allergic or I would come down and toast their venomous little asses for you. Those damn things have sent me to the Emergency Room twice in the last 10 years so therefore I think the Death Penalty is only fitting.

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Some days it not even worth chewing through the restraints.

clavus

I don't know if the effects of the poison have finally taken hold, or if the plaintive cries of the two wasps in the trap have frightened away their comrades, but the swarm is down to pre-Raid levels. There are maybe nine or ten of these chitinous venom delivery vehicles buzzing the mailbox.

I appealed the no-fire ruling, and was once again struck down. There was something about the mailbox being near some landscaping and under a large tree or some crap. I don't know, I just stopped listening.

I can't help but wonder if maybe I should thoroughly "clean" the outside of the mailbox with gasoline. Then if I were to suddenly decide to take up smoking... I dunno. Accidents happen.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

noodle

I like blowtorches.

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Terrell

Hope that never happens to me, can't stand wasps. Hire an exterminator.

flat5

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

have claimed you mailbox?

Could be worse :-)

Giant Hamburger

A flash blast from an improviosed aerosol flamethrower will burn off their wings without setting fire to anything. Then get to stomping. Wear shoes unless you are looking for another story to tell.

yournamehere

Yeah, you need to find and destroy the nest. It's probably in the tree or the landscaping near the mailbox. In the meantime, a good wasp trap is a half-full liter bottle of Coke left by the mailbox. They'll fly down in it for the sugar, and get stuck and drown.

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

Daniel_

Didn't I say that?

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Giant Hamburger

Yes, you did but you left out important details.

freeload

I'm waiting for the story where clavus plays with a flamethrower wearing nothing but his flip-flops and a big grin. (No jamming of thumb in wasps butt...)

__________________
The future ain't what it used to be.

clavus

We have big roller trash barrels that we use in my town. We roll them out to the street on trash day. Our garbage truck has a giant robotic claw that picks up the cans and dumps them into the truck. Today was trash day. So my garbage and recycling cans were on the street, right in front of my wasp-claimed mailbox.

I went to retrieve the mail today. The wasps were back. Barefoot and lacking even the most basic common sense, I soldiered on. My plan was to swing my hat vigorously back and forth over the mailbox, while I tried to quickly open the box, snatch out the mail (heh, I said "snatch"), then move quickly to safety. My clever scheme was derailed on the first swoosh of the hat.

I swung low and caught my hat on the mailbox. My hand continued in an aggressive, hat-free arc, while my hat flopped unceremoniously right in front of the opening to the nest. YES! I discovered the hole in the ground with increasingly angry wasps flying out of it. The hole was at the base of my rosemary bush that my hat was hanging in.

I couldn't leave my hat there to fend for itself, so I leaned waaaaaay over, grabbed my hat, and just as wasps started to bounce of my head, I spun a quick 180 and dashed directly into the garbage can two feet away.

The can was empty and on wheels, so it offered only token resistance to what turned into a beautiful open field tackle, right out in the middle of the street.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

G5_Todd

dude you should be an author..you have a nack for making even the most mundane things amusing...

__________________
"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks

dlish

now.

try it again, but this time get mrs_clavus to film you and post it here.

pics or vids..or it didnt happen...

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Plan9

This is how McGuyver would do it:

Take a large glass container and fill it with a mixture of equal parts gasoline and packing peanuts. Allow peanuts to dissolve until mixture is viscous. Pour/spatula concoction into plastic zipper bag. Seal plastic zipper bag. Attach two books of matches to a cigarette that has had the filter removed. Tape matches/cigarette to bag so matches are centered on body, cigarette elevated. Light cigarette. Stuff bag into hole. When the books of matches flare up they should ignite the bag. Adjust the design as your situation dictates. You can also shoot it with a flare gun if you're really doing it TeeVee style.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

flat5

Freeze gasoline? I don't think it's that easy.

Why not just pour the gas down the hole and light it?

noodle

Freezer BAG, flat.
I'm intrigued by all f the ideas here and the next time those
insane beasties try to take over my porch, I'm going to swing
by this thread and show S why we need fire.
Clavus, I love your dilemmas and stories.

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Plan9

Sorry for the confusion, Flat5. Read slower next time. But, yeah, I changed the "freezer bag" to "plastic bag" so it wouldn't confuse people that don't know/care for the difference between a regular plastic zipper bag and a freezer plastic zipper bag. Sure, you could just pour gas down the hole but it'll produce a mediocre burn at best and that won't eradicate the evil insects. The idea here is to create a sustained burn inside the little wasp tunnel that'll send those little critters to the afterlife. A small nuclear device would be acceptable as well as long as you can justify vaporizing your neighbors.

That reminds me... I need to start a thread on the multitude of uses for the freezer-thickness plastic zipper bag. They're friggin' useful items.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

flat5

ok. Next time I'll drink coffee first then post.
I had too much blood taken out yesterday at the hospital.

Xazy

If you try to take the nest out do it in the evening it is when they tend to be sleeping. You can get a rag covered in gasoline and dump it on the hole cover (dump a rock on top if you can) and let the fumes just kill them. Also if they are hornets they tend to be harder to kill then wasps. Also you can put some water with some bleach nearby (closer then any other water source) that will also help kill them.

If you try to burn them out or use water to flood them out, it can make them very aggressive. Also there may be multiple entrances to the nest.

If you want to try it a fun way, put a bug zapper near the entrance and watch them get annoyed and keep trying to sting it (works better with yellow jackets since they are more aggressive).

__________________
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

yournamehere

Well, now that you know the nest is in the ground, you can read this thread:

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...d-hornets.html

or - I can repeat the consensus that the easiest and less-likely-to-burn-down-a-dwelling method is to buy a big chunk of dry ice, place it over the hole at night (not a windy one) and cover with a bucket. The CO2 will sublimate and, because it's heavier than air, it will sink down into the nest and suffocate the little stinging bastards while they sleep.

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

clavus

Yah. I actually thought of dry ice. I was going to use it or a can of "non-toxic yellowjacket poison." It's mint-oil mostly. We'll see.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Shadowex3

Boiling vinegar works really well on most insect nests that are in the ground for both of the obvious reasons.

Of course you could also buy the cheapest shotgun shells you can find (probably skeet/trap shot) and then make a slurry out of that, a little fuel, and spare styrofoam. If she won't let you play with gasoline though odds are that blowing them to hell after salting the earth with boiling vinegar is not an option either.

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dlish

yeah, but dry ice wont give us any action shots or youtube movies...

and its pretty lame drawing cartoons of dry ice melting...

action! we want action!

as long as something burns or blows up, its a good outcome. just make sure its not the house

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

G5_Todd

lol

__________________
"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks

Plan9

I wanna see our hero in camo face paint stuffing a groundhog-shaped block of C4 into the wasp hole.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

G5_Todd

good ole Carl Spackler...

__________________
"....and when you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

-General Franks