uncle phil

and when did they sound bad?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

LordEden

When they started playing music, but I digress. We can argue this in the F*** thread. This thread is about cleaning yourself up after taking a shit, not a band that sounds like....

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

BadNick

roll up a couple little wads and put 'em in your ears

inBOIL

I used to crunch, but now I fold. It's no less effective, and wastes less paper. Unless it's one of those particularly messy events where you still get shit on the paper after 10 or 15 wipes. Then I'll just hop in the shower (assuming I'm at home, of course).

__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

phathom

Fold. I use 3 ply and fold it twice using 3 squares. Uses less paper, cleans well and is very uniform so I know I'm clean.

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-snooch to the nooch

Ourcrazymodern?

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Jinn

I'm so confused, I don't see how you can crunch.. it sounds like wiping your ass with the petals of a rose or something.. folding seems the only way physically possible?

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Ourcrazymodern?

Now there's a thought with imaginable benefits. ...rose petals... I think I'll go out back & get some.

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

ring

The Damask variety have the best petal formation (for wiping) & they are very fragrant.

levite

Fold. Totally. How can I properly gauge the paper coverage of hand or ass with a handful of irregular surface area?

And, BTW, a total +1 on Snowy's addition. Fresh wipes are key to complete butthole cleanliness; also helpful for cutting down on ass itch.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

snowy

Yes! This is precisely why I use them. The witch hazel in the ones I use helps a lot.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Xerxys

Is ass itch the same ass monkey butt?

levite

Um...the wipes won't help if your ass is hairless, orange, and engorged, if that's what you're asking....

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Merlocke

Middle class 3 rd world country style is utilizing but a single square. First you poke a hole in said square. Use your fingers, then wipe your fingers with the square.

Old school joke from the Philippines my parents never tire of telling.

__________________
-=[ Merlocke ]=-

dlish

i refuse to believe that women go to the bathroom.


they do not..and anyone who says otherwise is just tellings fibs. no amount of convincing will lead me to believe otherwise

merlocke.... err.. square? what square? maybe im missing something here

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Merlocke

Uh.. Dlish? My toilet paper is square... What the heck shape is yours? Look at one piece of tp.

__________________
-=[ Merlocke ]=-

dlish

if you read all the info about toilet habits, you'll decide that i dont use any toilet paper apparently

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

The_Jazz

I do believe that dlish just admitted to being a woman.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

healer

BAZINGA!!

__________________

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Jinn

You crunchers are a bunch of sick fucks. How is the feces all over your hand going?

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

ring

Scrunching is an Art.

Toilet Paper Origami

Lindy

My uncle's hunting cabin has just an outhouse, no indoor bathroom.
There are two buckets of corncobs and a sign with instructions (for the uninitiated.)
1. Wipe with red corncob first.
2. Then use white corncob.
3. If white corncob turns brown, use another red corncob.

Lindy

Xerxys

"
I'm a white boy,
But my neck is red,

I spread miracle whip,
on my wonder bread

Ourcrazymodern?

I'd think we're all obsessed if I wasn't busy inspecting my anus.

...Sear's catalog!

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

SecretMethod70

As noted earlier, the entire point of crunching is that it provides a *greater* barrier between hand and feces. Remember, crunches are almost certainly also using more toilet paper per wipe than folders.

__________________
Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Jinn

Except that with folders you're clearly driving feces in one direction (in the line of the fold). Crunchers, on the hand, are spreading feces all around their ass like a Bob Ross tree painting.. all that cleanup surely ends up with feces on your hand..

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Xerxys

Actually if you wipe (swipe) in one direction, (backwards, or forwards) you get it all in one straight line. Hence avoiding skid marks. Despite the crunched or felt toilet tissue paper. It should all be in one straight line. So if you have enough, you should not get any crap in your hands. Given this hypothesis, crunchers are prone to collecting more paper than folders.

Jesus Smeth, look what you've started, a whole new science dedicated to the toilet habits of the modern man ... this is wrong. I think ...

SecretMethod70

Jinn.... I have no idea what you're talking about. Why would crunching change how one wipes? I'm not sure what you mean by "in the line of the fold" either. Do you fold and then wipe with the edge of the fold instead of the flat surface? I doubt it, but that's how that sounds to me.

__________________
Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling