Teaching someone to cook and grocery shop
 

My son and his girlfriend have asked me to teach them to cook and grocery shop. They plan on moving in together in about 6 months. They will have about $145 per week to spend on groceries. She doesn't have any parents, so as the psuedo mother figure, it falls to me to teach them.

I know how to cook, bake and can make just about anything. But I don't know where to start to teach someone else. They know the basics like scrambled eggs and grilled cheese, for the most part.

Where would you start teaching someone else how to cook? How about grocery shopping?

I've never taught anyone to cook/shop so I have no idea where to begin. The other night I had them make hamburger helper (disgusting), salad and canned green beans. Not exactly nutritious but browning hamburger etc. seemed like a place to start.

Any ideas, tips, tricks?

Have them start by making a list of all the things they want to eat. Include everything they think they could ever want to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Then, sit down and go through it with them (I'd wager the list will be surprisingly short) and pick about a weeks worth of food from the easiest items to cook. Use this to make a plan of the things they're going to eat for a week, then shop for what they need to cook everything on this week's menu. Start out with the easiest things to cook, and get progressively more difficult as the week goes on.

Save the hardest meals they want for nights when you have the chance to go over and help them cook it, this will prevent a lot of wasted time and money. Also, pick days when they don't have to work so they can really take their time to make sure they do it right and won't feel rushed.

Once they get a few staples they can make themselves without difficulty, get them a cookbook to work through on their own.

As a final word of advice, food comes from farms - not factories. Most 'food products' that measure their expiration dates in years, rather than weeks or days, are barely more nutritious than the cardboard and cellophane they're packaged in.

I've been teaching myself to cook the past year or so; browsing recipes online (Allrecipes is my favorite) has given me much inspiration and has greatly expanded my menu. My biggest piece of advice - tell them to keep basics in the pantry. It sucks having to run to the store for a can of chicken broth, a spice, or the like. I also agree with Hektore - planning a menu prior to shopping is the way to go. I used to wander the aisles aimlessly, spend a bunch of money, and come home with nothing to cook. Planning in advance is essential.

Will they only be cooking for themselves? I've wasted more money on food that went bad before I could eat it all (I live alone), than I have on botched cooking.


If they can plan out menus that include an ingredient in multiple ways, that helps combat this. Pasta is a good staple that can be made in a larger batch and then used for spaghetti, cold pasta salad, etc. Rice can be eaten fresh and also older by adding it eggs and making fried rice.

We have the same problem. "Oooh that looks good!" and then never make it. Or stocking up on sales because they are on sale, and the perish before you get to eat them all.

Buy sales for non-perishables and stock up on those items like canned broth or soup. Buy enough for those things that have a best buy date based on what your eating habits are, like milk, juice, eggs.

Try to menu plan on things that turn into other things because those are truly the easiest recipes, roast rump to beef stew, stir fries to stuffed vegetables (a personal secret of mine for making some very inventive stuffed peppers)

I like the menu idea, I hadn't thought of that. I think I'll save that until they are actually living together, hopefully by that time they will be able to cook and can make an actual menu of stuff they know how to make.

What we are doing right now is every Wednesday and Friday she comes over and we go to the store, then come home and they both cook while I just supervise.

So you think they should just jump right in and start making recipes that appeal to them and not so much, "ok this is how you boil water" kind of thing?

Yes amonkie, they will only be cooking/shopping for themselves. They will both be in college full time and my son will have a part time job.

It's harder for me because I cook without regard to time/cost. So in a way, I'm learning to cook quickly, on a budget. I'm trying to add up what potential meals cost and make sure they will be affordable for them.

I seem to keep coming back to pasta, veggies, meat with a sauce as being quick and half veggies can be used the next day in maybe a soup or something.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing, but unless she (your response makes it seem like your son does not do the shopping) plans on shopping every day, she isn't learning how much of each item to buy & how to make sure everything used before it spoils. Effective grocery shopping is basically inventory management and I don't think she's going to really get the knack for it until she has to manage her own refrigerator & cupboards. Of course, it's still useful to go and teach how to pick out good produce and cuts of meat.

Maybe you could chip some grocery money and have them plan, shop and cook for a week at your house?

As for the cooking, I'm not sure what the best way to do thing is. I'm basically a self taught cook. My mother didn't cook much (lots of boxed food and take out) and my wife never paid attention to the cooking in their house. I learned by picking out things I liked, making simple versions, and through successive attempts flushed out the simple recipes into some Good Stuff. As an example, I like meatloaf, but didn't know the first damn thing about making it. So I read over about a dozen different meatloaf recipes and started with a simple meatloaf including the common ingredients (basically meat, eggs, breadcrumbs and ketchup).

It sucked. The next time, I added some onion and spices to taste the difference. The time after I added some more spices and peppers, the next time a little more. At the end, I had a good idea of what different things do to a meat loaf, as well as a pretty sweet Southwest style meatloaf recipe that is almost all my own and pretty tasty. Same thing with my chilli recipe, and my home-made BBQ sauce. My current project is a chicken & corn chowder.

One thing I do remember that was useful was an exercise I read online with chicken. Cube a chicken breast (because when baked it's reasonably mild and tasteless) and do a single spice rub on each piece with many different spices. This gives you an idea of what each spice tastes like and how they can work together. After that you can do multi-spice rubs with spices commonly used together.

As an aside: I would be sure to get them a quality crock pot. Ours proved invaluable for my wife and I the first few months. You can get some healthy delicious meals out of it for very little effort and most of the leftovers store very well.

OK, basically, you want to start with a few things:

Teach them a couple of cooking theory points, such as: flavors build in complexity and intensity. That's why, when you're making a soup, you don't just toss some meat and vegetables in a pot, pour water over it, and then when it's hot enough you have soup. It won't be soup that way. You go bit by bit, adding ingredients and cooking them down, you use stock instead of water.... Also, teach them about caramelizing sugars, and how to reduce liquids. Once people know why you have to follow certain steps in cooking, it becomes a lot easier to figure out doing it, and what went wrong if something does go wrong. A cooking basics book might not be a bad idea for them.

Next, it is imperative to let them know that food will only be as good as the ingredients used. It is never worth it to get canned foods, except for beans or tomatoes. Always get the best fresh vegetables possible, and if what you want isn't available fresh, get it frozen, not canned. Don't just rely on the meat and seafood departments at your local supermarket. Find a good butcher and a good fishmonger, and cultivate a relationship with them. Know where your meat and fish come from, not just for ecological purposes, but because fresh meat from well-treated animals is tastier and more nutritious; likewise, seafood that does not come from tainted waters, or which is not prone to retaining mercury and other chemicals in its flesh is far better for you and far tastier than seafood of unknown, maybe literally murky, origins. Quality meat and produce are deeply worth the money. Food which is less nutritious and not flavorful will make your life miserable, and will be a sure turn-off from cooking. Plus, fresh vegetables, fruits, fish, and meats, are ultimately cheaper than buying a cartload of prepackaged or ready-made food, which is always grossly overpriced.

I would start the actual lessons with things that are easily salvageable from mistakes, and which impart good lessons in cooking. Soups, stews, and pasta sauces are good bets. Teach them what roux is (flour and oil in equal measure cooked into a paste at the beginning of a soup or sauce, to which liquid is then slowly added, resulting in a thicker liquid). Simple broiled chicken and pan-fried fish are also good starters.

It's also never too early to make sure they know never to over-cook vegetables. Nothing is sadder than an overcooked, limp piece of produce. Asparagus or snap peas can be steamed or blanched very quickly, and come out nice and tasty. Artichokes can be steamed or boiled with great ease. Cauliflower or brussels sprouts should be sprinkled with olive oil and roasted in the oven for 45 minutes to an hour at 375. Baked potatoes are always a good bet, because they can be microwaved, much like yams, which are always a nice treat. And so on....

Casseroles are another good starting point: tasty, filling, cheap to make, and a single casserole can be several meals.

Finally, don't forget dessert: chocolate chip or sugar cookies are pretty easy to make, as are baked stuffed apples. Things like that can really brighten up life for the budding cook.

Finally, make sure that they have decent equipment to cook with. A couple of good knives is a must, likewise, a food processor, an immersion blender, a couple of good cutting boards, and some quality pots and pans-- I recommend including at least one enameled dutch oven, if possible. If cost is an issue, look for these items on eBay, or Craigslist, or as a last resort, in thrift shops. They can be found for reasonable prices, if one looks hard enough.

I'm going out on a limb with their TV habits but Alton Brown's an excellent beginner's guide to cooking, I pretty much singlehandedly got to where I am today between my mother's demanding I assist her with cooking whenever she was and half-listening to his stuff while working around the house or watching it while eating lunch.

The big thing is to teach them in the right order. Some rote learning at the beginning just for safety and the absolute physical basics, but when they can make a grilled cheese or bacon and eggs on their own they're done with that. Cooking's like math, you can either rotely memorize a lot of things and pray nothing unexpected happens or you can learn the underlying mechanics and then even if you see something utterly new you can still do it yourself by applying those mechanics in the right way.

My favorite progression is to start someone off with thawing and baking chicken wings according to the bag's instructions with black pepper, garlic, and a bit of generic paprika. It's almost impossible to screw up, teaches the basics of everything from meat safety and thawing to oven positioning and spice use, and is a good way to get a real meal as a college student.

Once they can do that and understand why it works you can expand on spices safely, everything from southern BBQ chicken wings through the middle east all the way to japanese-ish styles. After they understand spices, and know they can eat the same meat every day of the week and still eat something different every time, then you can move on to thighs and expand into soups and stir-fried meals.

Two bags of meat from costco, a bunch of bottles of Badia from the grocery store, two months (if they're slow learners), and they're ready to start learning advanced stuff off of food network.

The only important thing I have to add is: don't compare total prices, compare the prices per unit. So, if you're buying juice, look at the price per fluid ounce, or for paper towels look at the price per 100. The only difference is when you're buying some foods, like steak, then you want to look at the price per serving (1 steak) rather than the price per pound. Unless you're going to be cutting one steak in half for two people, it's often cheaper to get a nicer steak like a filet at a higher price per pound than it would be to get two heavier steaks that have a cheaper price per pound.

With this mindset, the average cost of dinner per person when I make it is about $5, and we still occasionally eat interesting/nice things like filet, halibut, etc. The trick is learning how to break down the prices, and learning what your own preferences are in terms of what you're willing to be cheap about and for what things you demand quality. For example, I don't mind getting certain canned vegetables, and at 70-99 cents a can, that means it adds only 50 cents per person to the cost of dinner if you're cooking for two.

On a budget, planning is key. Before you go shopping know what you are going to make for the week and buy only those ingredients.

Learn to make dishes that are economical. In other words, don't concentrate on Filet Mignon and expensive cuts of meat. Try cooking oxtail, shin, etc. Learn to cook with Tofu, lentils and beans (all good sources of protein).

Check out Mark Bittman's online stuff, The Minimalist. There are a ton of recipes online. Also check out Food Network and the Cooking Channel for inspiration.

I do take a small issue with Levite's suggestion to only go for fresh. Yes, fresh is usually better but if you can't get it, don't obsess about it (I would argue that canned Tomatoes are better than fresh when fresh are not in season).

I wish I had access to a butcher and fishmonger.
Seems only big cities have those.

Basics in shopping:
Pick a good cart. (wobbly wheels have killed many a shopper)
Shop for non-refrigerated items first
Ramen noodles are a college-goers staple
Grazing while you shop helps you decide which produce/food is best for you
Don't buy too much at one time. (your back will thank you, later)
Wait to point and laugh at the weirdos after they pass you
Don't shop on an empty stomach
Watch out for crazy old ladies in electric carts
Don't shop around the first of the month or on the weekends, if you can help it.
Utilize sales papers and coupons
Comparison shop different stores, get a good feel for what best buys are best for you
Buy generic when possible, but never compromise on taste. (Some generic food tastes like shit.)
Buy meat in bulk and freeze it. (wrap it in plastic wrap, then tinfoil, then date it)
Keep your receipts
Be nice to your service people

I think a meal plan is a good idea even if you aren't necessarily cooking for a whole week. Find some recipes or a cookbook or two with good technique and walk through it with them. Following a good recipe can teach you a lot, especially if you have someone there to teach you to think it through and do things right. Try to find recipes that teach good technique...there are a bunch of books that teach these things, and you can use those for inspiration.

I can't believe I forgot about that, especially since I just handled them right before posting.

There are many foods which you don't even need to buy from costco/sams and can be used to greatly expand the variety and amount of solid meals you get out of things. Oxtails can be boiled for a while to make not just a fairly good soup/stew if they have enough meat on them but also to make an excellent stock that can be used for everything from stir-frying to making a quick soup with some frozen vegetables and chicken thighs.

A single "normal" sized pack of barley and lentils each for example can be used to make enough stew to feed my mother and I for several meals. It's extremely filling, quite healthy, and provides good energy. The last one's especially important for young college students who'll be burning a lot studying (and other things...). Ramen may be filling but it's a dead meal.

I also somewhat dispute the freshness reliance. Some things, such as reputable frozen vegetables, are an excellent buy. I keep frozen green/yellow beans and carrots in my freezer all the time; they last for ages and can be steamed, stir-fried, or put into a soup. They're also quite inexpensive for the amount you get and need to use.

It's tricks like that which can keep a college student eating healthy food inexpensively without playing siller buggers with their weight and diet.

Never be afraid to ask for advice, help, or if they can do something different for you. Publix for example is a chain grocery store that runs their meat and bakery departments in-house. They can repackage, re-cut, and re-price just about anything appropriately for me.

Find out when they get and cut their meats, find out when shipments of produce usually arrive. I can get a lot of stuff they'd usually throw out (certain bones are great for stocks) for free if I call ahead and ask nicely the day before they get a meat shipment.

Bulk, bulk, bulk. Buy beans and rice in bulk, not in packages, and tell them to keep them in well-sealed containers. We always have several kinds of beans and varieties of rice on hand--they can be combined in endless ways.

If they really want to eat on a budget, cut out the meat. Meat is expensive. Cutting meat consumption to 1-2 major meals a week can seriously cut expenses.

Learning to cook: I've already seen mentions of Alton Brown and Mark Bittman--both great recommendations. I'd also throw in Mark Bittman's cookbooks (How to Cook Everything and How to Cook Everything Vegetarian), as they are great references. He also has one on cooking basics that would be ideal for a beginning cook.

Oh, and despite what Americans might think, for two people shopping more frequently (not big stock-up trips) is a better idea. Less food waste=money saved. The only things that they should consider stocking up on are pantry staples that don't spoil within a year and canned goods (canned tomatoes are a must). Everything else they should buy as they need. And yes, before shopping, they should make a list of everything the meals they wish to make will require. Also, frozen vegetables are a good moneysaver--they are frozen at the peak of freshness and so they are just as good as fresh, especially when fresh is not available. If you are conscientious, it is possible to find frozen food purveyors who buy and package their frozen goods right in your backyard (we buy from a farmer's co-op called Norpac).

We spend less on better food than most people we know because 1) I love grocery shopping and don't mind taking the time to figure out who has the best price for what (this you should not do all the time, it is a waste of gas, but it is good to be aware of what competitors have on offer, ads work best), 2) I have perfected the art of grocery shopping (shop the edges, only dip into the middle for canned goods/pasta/spices/baking stuff, avoid the endcaps), and 3) I know how to cook from scratch, which is a huge money-saver, albeit not necessarily a time saver.

I think that's about it for now, but I LOVE food, love cooking, and love grocery shopping, so I am sure I will be back!

A big, big +1 on the above. Awesome points, Snowy. Bulk beans, split peas, lentils (hint: red lentils taste way, way better than brown lentils, they take spicing better, and make way better soups), rice, grains in general (barley is awesome to cook with, as are oats), even dried fruit, if that's something that you use a lot. Also, I would absolutely recommend trimming meat consumption down to twice a week: one fowl night and one red meat night. Or, if you really want to stretch a buck, get cheap stew cuts of meat, or sausages, and make soup or stew with them. Much cheaper than just eating straight meat. If you want something meatlike in between, I recommend fish: cheaper than meat, if you get a common stock, and much much healthier. Tilapia is usually a safe bet for a tasty, easy-to-cook, cheap and healthy fish.

BTW, as for fresh produce, I totally agree that, if what you are looking for is either unavailable or expensive, absolutely get frozen. And some things, of course, are better purchased frozen: peas, corn (unless one wants corn on the cob), cubed squash or chopped spinach-- all can, depending on what is making, be better to get frozen. Likewise, I reiterate my support for canned beans and tomatoes. But I stand by fresh fruits and vegetables, in general. There is no substitute for good, fresh onions and garlic, fresh eggplants, fresh greens, fresh broccoli or asparagus, to say nothing of fresh apples, oranges, berries, pineapples, mangoes, etc. The flavor is more intense, the vitamins and minerals are just bursting to get out, the colors are more lively, and there are just some things that the corners can't be cut on. Dull food is a dull existence. Better to eat less meat and spend the money on better produce. I said it, and I stand by it. I do it myself, and I have never regretted it.

When I went to college, mom made me a cookbook of about 20 things I like to eat. it was a great place to start. Maybe you could do something similar.

Clavus has a nice mom!! That's a great idea - having a cookbook of your favorite meals.

Over time I've collected hundreds of great recipes and I try to rotate them, esp. seasonally. It makes life more interesting. My hubby loves that I mix up the menus often so he's not bored with the same old meals.

Lots of very good ideas in this thread. I suggest that they choose their favorites and find the easiest versions of those to start trying. If a recipe has too many steps or tricky methods, I don't enjoy making it as often.

My Best Rule: 1. Never grocery shop when you are hungry.
2. Also have some staples in the cupboard in case you are without power or too lazy to go to the store!

Well I'm putting together a game plan for them and using alot of the suggestions here.

Thanks!

This is something we haven't covered yet but probably should. I know MOST canned pastas, while not exactly healthy to begin with, are perfectly edible cold if not as tasty. We should probably get a list of good emergency-food going...

I just saw this promo for the new episode of Bourdain's No Reservations and thought of this thread:

Eater National: Bourdain Goes Back to the Kitchen for No Reservations 'Techniques' Episode

In the episode, he visits with a number of his friends, all top chefs, to have them show some basic techniques.


I haven't seen the episode but suspect it will be very cool.

I think my best advice, as someone in a spot similar to your son (what with the learning and all) would be to teach them to avoid buying crap foods and make their own. Teach them how to make their own soups and stews to freeze, how to tell quality in fruits and vegetables, and breads and such. Teach them to make a variety of meals, and write down all the recepies, detailed, and start a recepie box. Teach them how to make pasta sauces, I know that's a big one for me. Sauces are huge. You need sauces for just about friggen everything, and they're SOO expencive. But some flour, milk, butter and spices, BAM alfredo sauce. Easy, fast, cheap.

Teach them that, healthy, cheap, good, easy things. If you try to teach them things they think are too hard and difficult right away, they wont absord or learn anything you're telling them at all.

Some excellent advice here already, but I've thought of something to add:
(your mention of needing to teach them how to boil water made me think of it)

Working with recipe books is great way to become comfortable cooking. But if they're not entirely comfortable with all of the terms that they come across in a typical recipe, they're going to be too intimidated to use it. Make up a simple vocabulary list for them to take home and reference, then when you cook with them, don't be afraid to use those terms. You could further reinforce the concepts by focusing on a new word each time you meet. Week one could be all about roux, the next week could be about saute, etc.

Ohhh GREAT idea!! A book or leaflet or something with all the terms that confuse the hell out of us new chefs would be incredibly helpful! Good suggestion!